Han Lee

I am whoever you would like me to be as long as you'll pay the price.

[hanestlythebestlee]

luka-petrov​:

Luka’s heart was beating so quickly he wasn’t sure if he was really able to pay attention to what Han was doing. He was so nervous that this was going to be the thing that finally did it. Luka expected pain in his life, it was something that he always accepted, but the idea that he might shatter hadn’t occurred to him. 

He wanted to turn and run. He didn’t want to know the reaction to this, a part of him knowing that it had to be bad. Still, he froze slightly feeling Han’s hands on the sides of his face. Opening his eyes up to look at him bewildered. For an awful moment thinking that he might find pity there, and knowing that would be worse. 

He wasn’t expecting a kiss, frozen for a moment before he could process was happening. He didn’t know what it meant but almost immediately the fear went away as he lightly pulled Han to him. It wasn’t words, but it comforted him to know that Han wasn’t about to break his heart. You didn’t kiss someone you were going to hurt, not like this. 

As Han broke the kiss Luka blinked slightly not really knowing what to expect but feeling Han hide in his shoulder. Without thinking he wrapped his arms around the other and for a moment a strange feeling flooded him. Maybe it was the juxtaposition of Han seemingly needing comfort from him and the fear ebbing but Luka kissed the top of Han’s head fondly - as if to reassure the other it was okay. 

He didn’t think he’d hear anything on Han’s end and he could feel a sort of nervousness there too as he tried to put words together. If he knew it wouldn’t make Han more nervous he might have pulled away to look at him, but instead he put his hand up to Han’s hair and said softly. “Okay. That’s okay. You don’t have to worry about your words Han.”  He squeezed Han a little, a smile playing on his face although he also felt almost like he could cry with relief. 

“Thank you.” 

Han felt Luka’s surprise and nerves as they kissed, but he also felt his lover--no, his love--relax. Han found the courage to say his piece nestled against Luka’s shoulder, and as he felt a kiss against his head, things felt right. They felt at peace in that moment. 

Luka said it was okay, but Han shook his head, even as he leaned into the hug. “I needed to say it,” he insisted and finally raised his head to look Luka in the eye. “You needed to hear it.” He punctuated the sentiment by leaning up to press a soft kiss to Luka’s jaw. This felt comfortable and right. The words might be new, but the feelings, the way they touched, the tenderness: none of that was new. 

“I did enjoy tonight,” he said, voice quiet. “I know it was my idea, but I’m so glad you came. Even without this last bit, it was special, but...” Han chuckled and chucked his head. No one else ever made him feel as shy as Luka did, and Han still didn’t understand it. “I think I’m going to look at this jacket a little differently from now on.” 

He reached out, rubbing his hand along Luka’s sleeve. “I know you said you aren’t cold, but we should probably head inside soon.” Luka stayed over plenty often, sometimes with Han directly and sometimes in his guest room, but it felt new as Han asked, “Would you like to come back to mine?” It would be a lie to say Han hadn’t been planning on it, but the plan had changed.

[hanestlythebestlee]

odettcss​:

“You’re not the first to have said that, you know?” Odette replied, moving her chair closer, as Han had indicated. “What is it about me that makes people surprised? I traveled rather extensively as a child, why should adulthood be any different?” She asked, before pausing to think of a response. She’d told a lot of people a lot of different reasons as to why she’d moved, but she hadn’t gone to school with any of them, and they weren’t able to potentially disprove her lies. “Work. The job market at home is not what it once was, I thought I might try my luck abroad. And you?”

.

Han raised an eyebrow as he listened to her spirited response. Perhaps she wasn’t the quiet thing she’d used to be anymore. If that was true, good for her. “I suppose that’s fair. I guess you just seemed the type to settle eventually.” Settle down. Settle for less. Han wasn’t going to say it outright because he didn’t want to offend Odette, but he’d never thought she’d achieve high ends.

He chuckled at her comment about the job market. “I suppose I could say the same. I had prospects and people here, and France had started to bore. I thought it would be a fun adventure, and I suppose it has been.”

[hanestlythebestlee]

luka-petrov​:

Even as stressed as Luka was, there was a comfort in Han’s hand on his face and for a moment he just wanted to lean into the other’s hand. Maybe pull Han in uncharacteristically and tuck Han under his chin. It was an urge that was pulled back a little as Han spoke and pulled away. 

He felt frozen for a moment at the question because if Luka was honest he wasn’t sure what he wanted. He didn’t know. It wasn’t fair to keep this hanging over Han’s head, but for the first time in a very long time there was something Luka didn’t want to lose. 

It wasn’t even necessarily the rejection he could see coming, but the look of pity that might follow it. The idea of that feeling made Luka feel small, so small and breakable. Still he heard his voice as it was far away as his hand went to the letter. 

“Wait - Han wait.” Luka said a trembling hand suddenly holding the top of the letter closed careful not to touch Han. For a moment he was quiet as he closed his eyes for a moment trying to find a calmness before opening them to search for Han’s eyes. 

He got lost there for a moment, like he was apt to. Han constantly talked about his eyes, how blue they were but Luka was pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to really get through to Han how much more enchanting his were. They always looked like they had a hint of a smile in them, a coy look or - well just something interesting. Now they looked more searching then anything and Luka wondered for a moment what he saw. 

Still he didn’t look away knowing that it might be painful, but Han might not believe him if he was just looking around desperately trying to rewind time. 

“I’m in love with you Han Lee.” 

Luka wasn’t sure he could say much more. He wasn’t a poet. The note now shaking from his hand had taken him hours of careful writing and rewriting. He wasn’t even sure what he could say in Russian to express it correctly. 

“I wasn’t sure, when I’d ever get to say it so I wrote it down. I wanted to make sure you knew if I never got to say it. I love you, Han.” 

He finally looked away to scared of what he might find in Han’s face. He wasn’t sure if he could take a look of pity and he was sure Han wouldn’t be furious. If it would be anything it would be pity or sadness and he couldn’t handle that. 

Han let his hands still at Luka’s request for him to wait, and he ended up lower them to his sides, the letter released to Luka’s touch. He waited to hear whatever it was that Luka had to say. Whatever it was obviously had to be serious just from the content, but Han could feel his own nerves fraying on Luka’s behalf as he watched his friend close his eyes and struggle. When Luka’s eyes then met his, Han tried to give him a hint of reassurance, even in his longing for clarity.

Whatever he’d expected Luka to say--and he’d shoved away any possibilities like this quickly--that wasn’t it. 

“You-” Han started, but his words failed him. His mouth hung open a moment before snapping shut as he tried to figure out what to say. Luka had said it twice. Luka loved him. Luka didn’t just think it; he was sure of it. His only uncertainty had seemed to be how to say it. Now he had. 

Han snapped from his own daze as he saw the fear flash through Luka’s expression as he looked away. Moving without thinking, he moved back in, crowding in to cup his hands on either side of Luka’s face. Not even sure what he wanted to say, Han tried to speak, but with Luka’s eyes on him, the words failed again. Instead he surged forward to press his lips again Luka’s.

This was far from their first kiss, but Han tried to convey his own turmoil with it. He had been struggling for months to quantify his feelings for Luka. First, he’d realized that calling Luka a friend like anyone else he occasionally slept with wasn’t fair, especially when occasionally had become a less-than-perfect descriptor for how often Luka was at his townhouse and how much Han wanted him there. The transition from “not just a friend” to putting a label on it had been harder. Han still had mixed feelings on the feeling of love. He still struggled with whether to call his turmoil love. But he couldn’t come up with any other word, and even Henry seemed to understand that while Han couldn’t say it, he was feeling it.

But that wasn’t enough for Luka. Luka deserved to hear it. As Han broke the kiss, he immediately dropped his head to press against Luka’s shoulder. Perhaps he was a coward for it, but Han needed that solid presence and the shield of an invisible face.

“I think I love you too, Luka,” he managed, then flushed. “No, think isn’t the right word. I only think I understand love and what it actually means, but I- I know I love you. I’ve known it for a while know. I just... couldn’t figure out how to put it in words.”

[hanestlythebestlee]

rowanmontague​:

“The only thing I have planned is crashing into bed as soon as I’m done with work for the day.” Rowan shrugged, taking another drink of his coffee. He’d like to have nefarious plans, but they just seemed like so much effort. He had enough effort-taking things already. “I think you’re– well, not safe, but I’m not the threat.”

It didn’t escape him that Han hadn’t actually answered the question, but hey it wasn’t his business. “It certainly has its moments, but the best part is just walking around when no one else is out. Makes life easier, until you’ve got shopping to do or appointments to make.”

Han nodded. “That’s fair. Always good to have a goal for the day, even if it is a simple one.” Would poisoning someone count as a simple goal? Simple enough in theory, but more complex in the execution perhaps, he mused as he took another sip. 

With a smile, he added, “And then people want to know what you’re doing awake so early when you walk in right at open. Sometimes I don’t have the heart to admit I haven’t gone to bed yet, but is that really their business anyway?” 

[hanestlythebestlee]

oskaralmstedt​:

          When he’d decided to come to England to look for his sister, Oskar imagined that he’d actually spend time looking for her. Instead, he was taking this time to actually relax. He’d gone from school to the job in a short period of time that he never got the time to actually relax or think about what he wanted. All of that was thought for him. In England, it seemed like the world was his. He could figure out what he wanted without his parents around to influence him. Of course, he know that would only last until he could stop coming up with excuses. 

          “Oh. Sorry.” He’d been trying to find a spot without a bunch of screaming children around. That seemed almost impossible. “Do people here just let their children act like this in public?” 

.

Han had expected the other man to go back to his own activities after the apology, so he had to blink a couple times at the question. Han eventually looked back over toward the kids with a shrug. “I suppose it depends on where they are in public. A place like this? All too often, but they’re on vacation. Some of them seem to think that also means being on vacation from their kids.”

He flicked his wand, and another drink from the cooler by his chair lifted and floated toward Oskar. “I don’t suppose since you’re here, you’d care to join me?” Han didn’t find such perplexed strangers often. They might as well have a conversation about it.

[hanestlythebestlee]

odettcss​:

“But this is the perfect spot.” Odette replied, in a similar sort of teasing manner. “It’s warm, close enough to the bar, and most importantly, out of the splash-zone. Can’t risk getting my book wet now, can I?” She asked, waving the book in question. It had been a considerably long time since Odette had spoken to Han. They had been friendly enough in school, at least from her end. He was older, part of a crowd she never truly fit into. “But I suppose I could move it, just a little.”

.

Han rolled his eyes, but he grinned since he could tell from her voice that she wasn’t truly going to argue about it. Something about her face seemed oddly familiar, but Han didn’t immediately place her. It was only as he took in her accent--so like his own--and her book that Han connected how he knew her. “You know, Vogel. Of all the people from France to run into around here, you weren’t one I would have expected.” He watched her slide her chair and gestured for her to bring it closer. “What brought you here?”

[hanestlythebestlee]

🙌

Many of Han’s clients don’t actually mind being seen with him, although some would rather avoid it being known they’re paying him or that there’s a relationship at all. One witch who values discretion above all else, however, is Mandy Bareford. Unlike most of Han’s clients over forty, she isn’t married. Well, she isn’t married to a person. She’s a member of the Wizengamot and very vocal for a number of issues. She’d like the wizarding public to think of her as married to her job, so a call boy doesn’t fit her image. Still, everyone gets lonely and has desires. Han soothes that loneliness for Mandy with the secrecy not to damage her reputation.

[hanestlythebestlee]

🙌

Dotty Fairchild (fc: Lesley Manville) is a seventy-three-year-old halfblood witch who has become a kind of surrogate grandmother for Han. Technically she is a client, but he offers her only companionship. She feels rather lonely these days. Her husband and only son have been dead for years now, and she doesn’t connect as well as she used to with wizarding society. She does pay Han in a way for his attention and conversation by providing a home for her. This one is different than the apartments or hotel rooms often offered because it is the place Han truly considers home. The London townhouse was once her son’s home, and although she hasn’t told him, Dotty has included in her will that the house go to Han officially when she passes. 

[hanestlythebestlee]

luka-petrov​:

Luka gave Han a soft smile at his word but wasn’t quite sure how to explain what he meant. From what he could tell Russia was different then france in a lot of often contradictory ways. It was true that classes were theoretically abolished, but it wasn’t really the case. At least if people were being truthful there was always people at the lowest denomination, and that would be luka. He had grown up knowing that well even his name was a sign of it. No one claimed him. Still it made his heart flutter slightly to hear that Han liked his voice. He may have accepted the fact that he was an orphan a long time ago, but it was always nice to know that others saw him. 

Still the sweetness had turned to an anxiety that he wasn’t sure how to deal with. He hadn’t meant for this to happen, not like this. He wasn’t ready, but if he was honest he never was going to be ready. The universe didn’t wait for him before he wasn’t shocked it didn’t wait now. 

Still part of him wanted to run and he almost did before he felt Han’s hand on his face his eyes flickering down to see Han. He never quite understood why he was so drawn to Han, and if he was honest it wasn’t something that he wanted to explore. Not because he hadn’t fallen for Han, because he had. However, Han was that type of beautiful that when closely examined would drive someone mad. Like a tapestry with to many intricate details you could spend an entire lifetime trying to explain them. 

Only Han had feelings too, and Luka loved that but it also meant that this was going to hurt. Han didn’t believe in love, and it wasn’t something Luka was prepared to question or challenge. 

“I - don’t wear this jacket anymore usually but Nic - caught mine on fire so I just started wearing this one again. I guess I didn’t move it,” Luka said a slight frown in his voice. “It’s not - my will. I left you the coat and that - was supposed to be if something happened to me. A note I guess.” A Love note. His mind corrected but he didn’t want to say that. 

“There’s one for Yuki too,” He shrugged slightly not sure if he could keep looking at Han while a panic grew. He wasn’t processing what Han was saying really. Meaning a lot to someone was different to what he had wrote. It was something he was pretty sure the note was going to ruin. “I - just knew if something happened to me that I wanted you all to know how I felt so you didn’t have to guess.” 

Which was the truth enough. Luka had spent most of his life guessing at how people thought of him. Why his parents had left him on the stoop - if they were even alive. Why the Troupe leader had taken him and ‘adopted’ him but never gave Luka his patronymic. Why Yuri had done any of the things he did. He didn’t want his loved ones to have the same thoughts. 

However he didn’t necessarily think Han was going to read it when he was alive either. 

“I - I mean I don’t want to hold it over you. It’s yours to read, but I just wanted you to know that I wrote it - with the idea I was - gone. It is probably a lot. ” 

“A note,” Han repeated, his hand still carefully against Luka’s cheek. In some ways, it felt like the only thing holding Luka there in that moment with him. Han suspected he might otherwise have disappeared altogether to rip himself away from whatever it was keeping him so anxious in this moment. Han tried to take in everything that Luka was saying, but there was so much and hard to focus on with the way he was practically buzzing out of his own skin.

Han felt himself grow still at the idea that this letter would tell him about Luka’s feelings. It grew hot against his fingertips, although as if it was trying to burst into flames before he could have a chance to read it. Something in this letter was important in ways Luka had never said. 

And now here was permission to read it. Han paused to consider his options. Luka had told him he could, but that wasn’t the vibe he got from Luka himself. Then again if he handed it back right now without reading it, Han risked losing the opportunity to learn something that Luka so desperately wanted Han to know that he’d made it part of his dying wishes. And whatever it was apparently seemed too big or too much or too something for Luka to say for himself.

“Do you want me to?” he finally asked, releasing Luka and taking a step back to give him proper space to think without Han right there touching and looking. Han turned his attention back to the envelop, flipping it over and over in his hands. Eventually he stilled and looked up at Luka, his hands firm as he found a loose edge on the envelop and peeled it up.

“I will read it if I fully have your permission,” he said, “but I also want to give you the opportunity to say it instead. If this is a lot, I’ll take it in. I’d just also love to hear it from you instead.” He wanted desperately to hear Luka say whatever big important thing he couldn’t die without sharing that he seemed so determined to have no let Han find out. 

For a moment, Han dared to wonder if Luka felt so strongly about him that he had a confession to make, but that was silly. Empty hope. If Luka had strong feelings about him--maybe even loved him, if Han dared even imagine it--surely he would have said something by now. Han was here and available, and he’d put Luka in his bed as often as he could. He liked spending time with Luka, and even though he still struggled trying to put it into words, he loved Luka. He couldn’t imagine feeling that way about anyone else, and it had taken Luka’s presence for him to even see that it existed at all.

Han slid his finger along, opening the envelop more firmly but still not reaching in. “It’s your choice,” he said, voice soft.

[hanestlythebestlee]

hestiasjxnes​:

If there had been any doubt that Han was her friend the fact that he hopped in a moving vehicle with her and hadn’t hopped out yet would have erased them all.  “Well, it’s a good thing you hopped in this car with me.  If you had gotten in with anyone else you might not have gotten your wish, but as you can now see, I am clearly an expert.”

“What – what is insurance?”  The car salesperson had also asked her about insurance and she had confidently said she was good on that front.  It was like when you bought a broom, right?  Only the grandma’s and the first-timers bought all the extras.  She didn’t want to look new.  “Yes, I bought her to keep.  And her, I’ve named her Tabitha – she will look fantastic on the curb outside my flat.”

She slammed on the breaks again, her head jerking forward, as she pulled into their assigned spot.  “See?  I totally got you here in one piece!”

.

Han stared at Hestia in horror for another moment. “I mean I don’t know the details exactly, but when muggle aurors pull you over, they ask for license and registration, and I had a client once muttering because he had insurance and just didn’t have it with him. And that turned into a big deal.” Tabitha. Han let out a silent wish on magic itself that Tabitha would be hot-wired and stolen before Hestia had a chance to wreck it and herself in the process.

If he hadn’t had his seatbelt on, Han would have flown right into the dash at her sudden jerky stop. “Don’t forget to put it in park,” he said with clenched teeth. Han really didn’t have enough know-how to help her with this, just enough to know what she shouldn’t do in the process. “This better be a great movie honestly.”

[hanestlythebestlee]

You own stock in a condom company

“Nope, but honestly I should.”

[hanestlythebestlee]

yuki-yamashita​:

She hadn’t come across Han in weeks… shit, maybe it had even been a month.  Not that he was her favorite person, but he certainly wasn’t her least favorite person.  And he was fun to drink with – not because he was the best drinking buddy, but because he was funny in a possibly unintentional way.

But when she saw him she couldn’t stop herself from approaching – for a moment she was tempted to walk a few paces behind him and see where hew as going, but that would be creepy.  She wasn’t that creepy… at least, not yet. 

“Where are we going?” She asked as she caught up to him, not bothering with an introduction, inviting herself to tag along with him, “unless you’re working and in that case I’m going the other direction.  I don’t want to think about anyone’s work on my day off.”

@hanestlythebestlee​

Han nearly closed his eyes as he walked down the street. It had been a rather long week. He’d had a couple French clients in London for the same event who had both wanted his time, plus his regular schedule. He hadn’t actually slept in the townhouse in more than a week, which meant he hadn’t seen really any of his friends. Now that he had a day to just be himself, Han wanted to relax, but sitting at home had felt too empty.

He heard a voice and turned his head just in time to see Yuki breeze up alongside him. “And hello to you too,” he said with a shrug. “I’m not necessarily going anywhere in particular, so you’re welcome to come with me to the market or propose something else to take our time.” He did need groceries after nearly a week away, but when he’d checked the fridge, it had seemed Luka wanted to make sure he wouldn’t starve whenever he was next home.

[hanestlythebestlee]

@narcissa-istic​

Han’s head jerked up when he heard an upset cry of alarm. His first instinct was that something had happened, but he didn’t see any smoke or frantic running. As he calmed slightly, Han continued to scan the area until he saw Narcissa Malfoy of all people pulling herself back to her feet. After a moment of consideration where he strongly wanted to walk away, Han moved toward her. 

“Are you all right?” he asked as he came closer. She must have fallen, and Han knew she wouldn’t be pleased that he of all people was here to respond to it. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

[hanestlythebestlee]

rowanmontague​:

“I suppose they could be either,” Rowan shrugged, tapping the side of his coffee cup as he thought. “I don’t intend to go to Azkaban though, and I definitely don’t plan on losing my security clearance.” Technically speaking he didn’t know if he was forbidden to poison people, but he figured there was a good chance some bit of paperwork covered it. 

He grinned at that, figuring interesting was about as good of an adjective as anything else. “What’s got you on the night shift, then? I could use a bit less interesting in my life.”

Han chuckled. “Very fair. Those are good reasons to prefer a sneaky option, although I do hope you’re not planning any future endeavors. I’d hate to be an accessory, but I’d also hate to disappear too if you wanted to avoid an accomplice.”

He shrugged at the question, wanting to look all the more casual about it. He didn’t just casually tell people he was up late because he’d been someone’s evening plans or that he’d had to leave at an odd hour because their wife had flooed she’d be home soon. “I’ve never really been the type to easily keep regular hours. The night shift is all the more exciting, wouldn’t you agree?”

[hanestlythebestlee]

Han flipped his sunglasses up and frowned. He’d thought an afternoon at one of the only magical inns he could find with a pool would be relaxing, but he hadn’t counted on the kids constantly screaming. Them he could ignore. His sun being blocked by someone else putting up an umbrella? That was crossing a line.

“Excuse me,” he said, sitting up. “Do you might? You could go pretty much anywhere else in the whole place, just not right in that exact spot.” He kept a smile on his face, hoping they would take it as gentle rubbing and not the start of a fight. He was here to relax, not argue over stupid things.

[hanestlythebestlee]

luka-petrov​:

Luka chuckled a little and said, “ My accent is a little better I think. I’ve got - a very strong one in Russian too. No matter how hard I tried, it stuck pretty well. I sound - ah what would you call it nicely? I sound poor?” He said wincing slightly at the word choice, but it was something that Yuri would point out occasionally. 

Luka chuckled slightly and said, “It would make me feel better yes.” He looked at Han for a second before turning back to the street to see exactly where they were. He supposed it was getting late and he should walk Han home and go to his apartment himself. 

He didn’t realize for a second that Han had paused in anyway or that he’d put his hands in his jacket pockets. After all, Luka might have expected it. If he hadn’t been used to the paper tucked in there he might have realized that he couldn’t have given Han the jacket or tucked it into his pocket. 

Instead he heard the question and curiously looked over at Han, not thinking he had anything for him that night. When he saw the letter Luka couldn’t help but freeze for a moment realizing what had happened. 

“Oh.” Luka said shock over his face. “I - didn’t take that out of my pocket did I? I’m sorry. Yes - I mean it is for you but It wasn’t for you now. I thought - My other jacket was ruined so I’ve been wearing this one. Yes it’s for you but it was incase something - well after the dementors it was just incase.” His face was turning red realizing he was screwing things up, and knowing what was in that letter the sudden lazy night turned into a sharp focus. 

There wasn’t a way Han loved him back. There was no reason to think that Han would take this well. This was going to be painful Luka could feel it, and for the first time in his life he didn’t know if he could handle it. 

“It’s apart of my will. I’m sorry.” 

Han’s gaze softened. “I can’t tell. I don’t know what that sounds like in Russian. I just know you sound like you, and that’s a lovely sound to me.” Luka didn’t seem ashamed of his accent necessarily, but Han wanted to make it clear that if he was, he had no reason to be. Han knew what it was like to stand out and be noticeably poor, even if he had fought past that as soon as possible to appear like those of better positioning. He’s spent a life time of hiding that start, but with Luka, it didn’t seem so worrisome.

The letter, though, seemed to concern Luka, and for a moment, Han wondered what exactly he was holding that could shock someone so even keel. “Dementors?” he echoed. Han didn’t understand how that could lead to to a letter until Luka admitted what it was. Then Han could only stare down at the envelop in his hands for a few seconds.

“Oh,” he eventually said before looking back up at Luka’s face. He was closing off, preparing for pain. Why would he expect pain? What did he think Han was about to do.

Han stepped forward, reaching up with his free hand to cut Luka’s face. “Hey,” he said softly. “It’s okay. Whatever this says, it’s okay. Can I ask why it was in the jacket?” Han didn’t put it away yet, but as concerned as Luka seemed to be, he suspected that he would. The way Luka was acting made Han think he shouldn’t read it. Whatever the contents were, Luka didn’t seem to want him to know.

“I- Can I ask you something?” Han waited a moment, not wanting to scare Luka further. “Why me? I just mean... Why would you right your will to me? I’m not- Yuki would probably make more sense. I’m honored, though.” He took a breath, knowing he needed to be honest here. Luka deserved nothing less. “I can’t believe you think so highly of me as to include me. It means a lot, Luka. You mean a lot.”

[hanestlythebestlee]

♛ Luka