I need sleep @hanistylum - Tumblr Blog

Life update.

July 8, 2023 I ended the relationship mentioned back in March 2022.

December 10, 2022 he proposed and after that his actions stopped matching his words.

What ended the relationship, the final straw, was being blamed for allowing a man come between us. To give some context he was living at home with his mom, grandma, and aunt. In April 2023 the aunt tells everyone that her boyfriend of a month is moving in. I warned that there would be consequences to that man moving in. I said I would no longer be spending the night while he was under the same roof. The man gave me an ick and there was seriously something wrong with him that I couldn’t place and it bothered me. My warnings went on deaf ears.

We were to move in with each other in to our own place and then that changed 2 weeks before move in day. His mom said “you can’t move I need you here to help financially” with that he chose his mom over me his fiancé. I didn’t make that decision he made easy for him.

Things started not going so well for us after that. I stopped wearing my ring unless I was on FaceTime with him or was with him in person there were many times I kept my left hand out of frame so he wouldn’t see I wasn’t deleting it.

Come June 30 I had a horrible day at work and had no interest to talk to anyone not even my parents. I came home and decided to wash my car in silence and away from people and communication. I got in the pool when I was done and when I got out I saw he called me. I call him back and this was the dialog:

Him: why didn’t you answer your phone, mom is in the hosital

Me: when did you find that out (he had a tendency to tell me news hours/days after the fact)

Him: I just found out right as I got home

Me: is she okay?

Him: I don’t know. Why didn’t you answer your phone?

Me: I had a shit day at work and had zero desire to talk to anyone even mom and dad.

Him: you should’ve sent me a text about it. You know you haven’t touched me in weeks

Me: sorry i haven’t been in the mood

Him: you’re letting a simple man come between us. He’s a nobody and because he lives here you’re punishing me

Me: I’m letting a simple man come between us! Are you serious right now! I told you I wasn’t going to stay over anymore if he moved in.

Him: we’ll talk about this tomorrow because we’re both going to say things we don’t mean

I hung up so fast after that. The next morning I had a project I needed to focus on and I told him I was doing that and he responded with “you’re more concerned about a project than working on us. I’m disappointed I wasn’t your first thought this morning”. I didn’t respond to that. Later that day I call him to talk and he refused my call 4 times. He sends me a text saying he was too upset to talk and will need a few days to figure out what he wants to do. I didn’t hear from him for 7 days.

On July 3 I knew I wouldn’t hear from him as it was the 2 year anniversary of his grandpas passing. In July 4 I knew I wouldn’t hear from him as it was that grandpas birthday. So that’s 2 days I knew I would hear from him. But to not hear from him for 7 days I was not going to wait any longer and made the decision based on his behavior to end the relationship. I wanted to speak to him in person about it and be civil about it but his mentality was if he ignored it then the problem would go away. Fine, he ignored it long enough that I did something about it.

On July 8, 2023 I sent him back all of his belongings and repurchased and replaced anything I left at his house. I had my parents stone removed from the custom ring as he only paid $150 towards the $2,300 stone and sent him the band that he laid in full for and returned the $150 in cash he paid towards the stone. I wrote a 3 page letter explaining why I made my decision. And that ended my engagement.

Since July 8, 2023 dating has been quite difficult. I’ve had a few dates. A guy who was not financially stable who wouldn’t even let me buy the dinner and only ate the free chips and drank the free water. Went on a date with a history teacher with absolutely zero personality. Went on a date with a guy twice and he was emotionally unstable who then blows up my phone and yells at me on the phone. Even got stood up by a hook up. Had a few guys reschedule/cancel.

Life update!!!

I met someone back in March this year (2022) and so far 3.5 months in I know this relationship will be a long term one. This man makes me laugh and everyday I wake up with a smile on my face. This man is my lobster. This man is my person. He and I both knew on the first date that we met our “the one”. When I got home after the first date I told my mom “mom he’s the one, I’m done looking. I have finally found the man for me” and turned out he told his mom the same thing. Even though it’s only been 3.5 months it feels like we’ve been together a long time. I was never one for physical touch as a love language but this man brings it out of me. I sleep more peacefully at night since meeting him too which is huge because I’ve always had a hard time getting to sleep. Now as soon as my head hits the pillow I’m out. This man also respects the fact of me wanting to respect my parents (since I still live at home) and get home before 11pm. Who knew the daughter of a redhead would find a redhead as the love of her life. His mom said to me today “maybe he just needed a girl who was raised by a redhead this whole time”. All in all I have found the man I’m going to marry and I can’t wait to take his last name!!

linda-belcher

I’m always a slut for lying in bed for hours on end doing nothing productive.

birthdaylobotomy

kingscrown666

...wha

morbidmanatee

The game is delayed for rain--that’s what the tarp is for, to keep the field dry so they can play as soon as it clears up. They’re entertaining themselves and the crowd while they wait.

When you want him to know that you won’t hurt him like she did but he feels like he will never be good enough for anyone anymore so he won’t give you the chance to prove you won’t hurt him like she did.

I guess all you can do is hope he comes around soon and gives you that chance

mr-styles

Harry for Gucci Mémoire d'une Odeur by Glen Luchford

harrystylesdaily

Harry photographed by Daniyel Lowden for L’Officiel Men.

zodiacmind

Fun facts about your sign here

Realized that even when I was with my ex I was still left unsatisfied. When I thought about it the sex was okay it wasn’t mind blowing. That means home girl hasn’t been satisfied since September 2018...that has to change ASAP

Oh yea forgot to say my last boyfriend and I broke up. It was mutual. He noticed I fell out of love with him and it was better for us to not waste each other’s time getting the others hopes up that it would work

LISTEN!!

Is it too much to ask for the 10/10 guy on tinder who swiped right on you before you swiped right on him to actually message you back after a question he asked you in a timely manner and not a fucking week later only to leave it on “read”. WTF!!! I’m trying to get you a wife like you wanted bro...ME...I’m trying to get you to make ME your wife. The question he asked me on 4/27 at 8:45pm was “fuck, marry, kill: me, bill gates, Batman” who do you think I chose as marry bro I chose you as marry since you stated in your bio you were looking for your wife!!! I’m trying to help you out here!!! And you’re 2 miles away from me...come on 😫😫😫

Well after he read my letter we decided to take a break till we figured things out. We didn’t break up just took some time from each other. In the end we decided it was best for us to end it. We were the love of each other’s lives but we weren’t meant to be.

Reading through my last post makes me wish I took a creative writing class or got my degree in writing or something. I forgot how much I enjoy it. I used to do random writings in high school. When I have a topic that I enjoy or makes sense to me the words just come pouring out. So that post is something that is always on my mind when he and I aren’t seeing eye to eye or I just can’t seem to say what’s on my mind. I’m having him read it later so hopefully he will understand why I am the way I am. And why it’s hard for me to be something I’m not. To be someone he needs me to be.

One Piece At A Time

Our love is like a jigsaw puzzle. It takes time to complete one. You must look for the corner pieces then complete the outer border. Only then can you finish the rest. One piece at a time.

If you rush through it, some of the pieces won’t fit properly or the wrong piece will be put down. In order for every piece to fit perfectly you must take your time. One piece at a time.

It can be frustrating and time consuming to find the perfect piece to fit where you want it. But once you find that piece you sigh in relief and move on in search for the next piece. One piece at a time.

In the end you get down to the last few pieces of the puzzle. And you see where they perfectly fit. You have now completed the jigsaw puzzle. You look down at the work of art and admire the picture in its entirety. One piece at a time.

You both remember how you felt finding each perfect piece and you can’t help but smile. You, yes you, completed an almost impossible task and finished a jigsaw puzzle. Together. One piece at a time.

Love takes time. It can’t be rushed. You fight. You make up. But you shouldn’t let the hard times define the relationship. Relationships aren’t meant to be perfect. No ones is and if they say it is then they are liars. Behind closed doors that couple isn’t getting a long but in public they are the perfect “couple goals”. If your past relationships never lasted then your way never worked. Your idea of a perfect relationship never worked. Every relationship is different and you just have to figure out what works and what doesn’t. Trying to force someone to fit into your mold or jigsaw puzzle when they clearly don’t fit where you want them to then maybe your way isn’t the right way. I’m not saying they aren’t the person your meant to be with. If you’ve been the same with your past relationships and they all ended then something is wrong and it might not be them, it could be you. Wanting them to fit in your “perfect” world how you want them to be when they clearly aren’t that and you find it to be frustrating when you feel like they aren’t in the relationship like you are, then try stepping back and look at what is happening. Step back and really look at what’s going on. Try it. If you can’t see it then step back farther to see an even bigger picture. So many people live their lives in tunnel vision. It’s the same in relationships. If you only see in tunnel vision then you never see what’s really going on. You only see what you want to see. If your partner isn’t happy talk to them. If they don’t want to talk then don’t push it. Just let them know when they’re ready that you’ll be there to listen. And then let it go. Don’t keep asking “are you sure everything is okay?” Because then they will get annoyed that you’re even asking and tell you something that you don’t want to hear.

Give it time. Yes that can take forever but there’s a reason for that. It’s to test you to see if the other person is worth the wait. If they are then be patient. If you are getting tired of waiting for them to open up or be ready then you are not worthy of their love. Everyone has plans for their lives. Where they will work, who they will marry, when they’ll have kids. Hate to break it to you...but plans change. The plan you have for your life is not the plan that has already been predetermined for you. That place you want to work, guess what, you don’t end up working there. That person you want to marry, guess what, they aren’t the one that you will spend the rest of your life with. Those kids you wanted to have, guess what, they aren’t the kids you will have. There is someone far more special for your life and there is a job that is the perfect job for you and there are children that will love you and all will be put in your life to show you that the plan you made for your life is not the plan that was chosen for you.

There is one word that holds weight for me and that is “promise”. I’ve had many people use the phrase “I promise...” and I am always disappointed in the result. But when I say “I promise...” I mean it. So I’m saying this...I promise. I promise it will get better. I promise everything will fall into place. I promise you that I’m not going anywhere. I promise you that I love you with whatever is left of my broken heart. We will get through this. Together. One piece at a time.