musical theatre songs to set as your alarm (with ratings)
“Hello!”: 6/10. It’s a bop, but that means you’re also going to grow to hate it faster.
“Seasons of Love”: 3/10. I mean, it’s motivational, but do you???? Really want to condition your body to deliver a jolt of pure fear every time you hear the opening chords of the most ubiquitous song in musical theatre?
“Waving Through a Window”: 5/10. Crying first thing in the morning is bad, but also, that vague, shapeless dread you feel when you’re half-asleep and the first strains of your alarm swim darkly into your dream and you try desperately to hold onto that dream as the inexorable alarm rips you brutally back into reality? That’s Dear Evan Hansen in a nutshell.
“I Didn’t Plan It”: 7/10. The lyrics aren’t too relevant, but they really do convey the despair and rage you feel at waking up too early.
“Loathing”: 6/10. Same reasoning, docked a point because it’s more gay than angry.
“Four Jews in a Room Bitching”: 7.5/10. Gay AND angry. But a terrible song to have stuck in your head once you get to school or work.
“One Day More”: 8.5/10. Also gay and angry. And lyrically relevant. You will immediately start trying to perform all the parts, and you will fail, so it will absolutely get you out of bed, but you also might start throwing furniture out the window.
“Donny Novitski”: 7/10. This is the morning dose of self-confidence you deserve.
“The Phantom of the Opera”: 8/10. Probably very effective, but please don’t ruin your vocal chords this early in the morning. Still, if you’re a method singalonger, there’s no easier way to muster homicidal rage than by associating this melody with your alarm.
Newsies: 9/10. Yes, I mean the whole thing. Why are you looking at me like that? What, no, of course this isn’t an excuse to skip class/work and watch Newsies on Netflix again!
“La Vie Boheme”: 9/10. It’s best if you don’t even use the whole thing. Just abruptly cut at “Who died?” and musical theatre fans all around the world will collectively rise from the dead to finish the song.
“Just Another Day”: 9.5/10. Incredibly relatable, e.g. “and the morning sun is stunning / and you wish that you were running far away”
“Moving Too Fast”: 10/10.“Did I just hear an alarm start ringing?”
