The Encyclopedia of Badassery

Iron Comes in Many Forms

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Encyclopedia of Badassery- Entry #890: Meet Henry Berry Lowry, born into the Lumbee Tribe of North Carolina in 1845. When a Confederate officer harassed and insulted women in the Lumbee community, HBL killed the guy - whereupon the officer’s boys went ahead and killed HBL’s dad and brother. At that point, it was f*cking ON - HBL assembled a crew of fellow Lumbees, African Americans, and one ‘buckskin Scot’ and commenced to fighting, robbing, and killing plantation owners, Confederates, lawmen, and other notables throughout the Civil War years. After the war, the gang turned their attention to the KKK, robbing klansmen and redistributing the stolen wealth to the poor and oppressed. HBL managed to evade permanent capture - despite a $12,000 dead-or-alive bounty on his head - and in 1872 stole $28,000 (that’s over $600k in today money) from a local sheriff’s office and vanished into the swamp, never to be heard from again...though rumors persisted well into the 1930s that he was alive and well, living quietly incognito. https://www.instagram.com/p/B1tpTSQFN1d/?igshid=84wsv7v3frav

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Encyclopedia of Badassery- Entry #8903: Acquaint yo’selfs with the Rarámuri people of the Copper Canyons region in NW Mexico - their name translates to ‘The Lightning-Footed People,’ and here’s why: when it comes to running shockingly long distances in shockingly short times, they’re pretty much unbeatable. Anthropologists in the 1800s reported that Rarámuri runners could ‘easily go 170 miles without stopping.’ In 1993, 55yr-old Victoriano Churro won the Leadville 100 ultramarathon in 20:03:33, wearing a pair of sandals he’d made from an old truck tire; the next year, a younger runner from his village did it again, but *his* time was 17:30:42 - shattering the previous course record by 25 MINUTES. Rarámuri runners crushed the Olympic marathon in 1928 and ‘68 - and complained that the race was too short. In 1971, a sports physiologist found that runners’ blood pressure *decreased* during a 5mi run, and that even when banging out consecutive 8min miles, Rarámuri men, women and children have a heart rate of around 130bpm. Subsisting on a high-starch, very low-protein diet, chainsmoking gnarly black tobacco cheroots, and drinking heroic amounts of cactus moonshine and beer (beer is actually the Rarámuri’s primary currency) ‘they defy every known rule of physical conditioning,’ yet speed along for literally hundreds of miles, and show almost no sign of fatigue or cumulative stress when they finish. Along with chronic health issues, crime, child abuse, and domestic violence are also unheard of among the Rarámuri - and they have responded to invasion, colonization, and most attempts to study their culture by retreating further and further into the remote canyon lands they’ve inhabited for centuries. Final fact: the Rarámuri largely disappeared from organized races in the mid-1990s - accounts differ as to why, but it seems that there is a cultural/philosophical disconnect between running as the people do at home vs. running like outsiders do - the Rarámuri had made their point, it seems, and that was that. #encyclopediaofbadassery https://www.instagram.com/p/B06SbJHlmT2/?igshid=149nkwv13h61z

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Encyclopedia of Badassery - Entry #902: Gaze upon the ‘Tear Gun,’ conceived of and built by Taiwanese-born Design Academy Eindhoven graduate Yi-Fei Chen in 2016. The gun collects the user’s tears in a silicone pocket under one eye, then funnels them into a small chamber at the back if the pistol filled with dry ice, where they’re frozen into solid bullets ‘ready to fire into the face of authority.’ Chen says that after years of suppressing emotion and anger to avoid the appearance of rudeness or disrespect - especially to teachers - she realized that ‘politeness became her weakness,’ and that epiphany inspired her creation. The Tear Gun is fully functional; at her graduation, Chen had the opportunity to point and fire it at her department head - and she totally popped him. (He was fine.) #encyclopediaofbadassery https://www.instagram.com/p/B0GV0cYFQzb/?igshid=1nn7j1hhvudqv

[hannahfons]

Encyclopedia of Badassery-Pride Edition: Thrill to the story - nay, the EPIC - of Gilgamesh, king of the ancient Mesopotamian kingdom of Uruk. Gil was 1/3 human and 2/3 god - physically massive, alarmingly strong...and sexually ravenous. He ‘stole sons from fathers and daughters from husbands’ with such disregard that the people of Uruk petitioned the goddess Aruru to protect them from his lust. Aruru heard their plea and created a companion for Gil ‘on whom he could spend his energies;’ Enkidu, a ‘wild man’ of similarly massive size and ‘inspiring physique,’ who was covered with fur from head to toe, and had a luxurious mane of womanly tresses upon his mighty head. Upon meeting for the first time, Enk challenges Gil to a test of strength; Gil wins, but despite the awkward start, the two become fast friends. The rest of the Epic (which is the world’s oldest known literary work) follows the duo’s adventures; slaying Humbaba the Terrible in the legendary Cedar Forest, killing the Bull of Heaven...y’know, typical bro stuff. Homoerotic undertones abound - at one point, Gil even turns down a hookup invite from the goddess Ishtar (whose own gender-variant servants - the sinnisat zikrum and the kulbu - are a whole other fascinating story), preferring the charms of Enkidu, who according to the Epic, Gilgamesh loved ‘like a wife.’ https://www.instagram.com/p/BzOTfgplT-U/?igshid=ji4b7qhhlmdz

[hannahfons]

Encyclopedia of Badassery - Pride Edition: Acquaint yo’selves with Queer Nation - the initially nameless, decentralized, non-hierarchical direct-action movement that emerged in NYC circa 1990 as a retort to more assimilationist, ‘respectable’ LGBTQ activism of the time. QN’s mission was to ‘mystify, terrify, and enchant’ and its actions included queer ‘take-overs’ of straight spaces like bars/clubs, government buildings...and Macy’s. 🙄 QN activists would descend on a venue en masse, carrying signs and chanting (‘We’re here! We’re queer! Get used to it!’ was a QN original) and would engage in public behavior that hetero folks get to take for granted, like kissing, hand-holding, and dancing with each other. QN rejected the idea that the only acceptable place for queer folks to display affection and openness is a gay bar, and that the only acceptable approach to queer equality is polite, non-confrontational activism. QN spread to other cities, doing youth outreach, picketing the homes of known queer-bashers, and paying ‘visits’ to queerphobic churches and ministries to annoy, disrupt, and publicly drag bigots of all stripes. QN’s visibility has waxed and waned, but is seeing something of a resurgence as anti-LGBTQ hate crimes have risen over the last few years, and as queers in certain quarters tire of playing nice and find QN’s ‘Dykes and Fags Bash Back!’ ethos more to their liking. ✨👊🏻✨ https://www.instagram.com/amazonesque/p/BzIzuH0FV_i/?igshid=16a1pblrqe9qz

[hannahfons]

Encyclopedia of Badassery - Pride Edition: Consider the Androgyne (‘andro’ = male and ‘gyne’ = female) - the archetypal two-in-one ‘First Being’ universally recognized across every human culture since there even was such a thing. Usually the story goes like this: In the beginning, ‘man’ and ‘woman’ were one complete, undifferentiated Being; thru some trauma (often the meddling of some deity jealous of the Being’s beauty and contentment), what was One is split into Two, each half forced to wander, forever seeking its compliment. In the Judeo-Christian context, the agenda isn’t hard to see - the Androgyne threatens the very idea of a patriarchal god, after all. But you can’t keep a good archetype shoved under the threshold of consciousness forever; the Androgyne shows up in the form of angels - genderless messengers of heaven - aliens, and plain old flesh-and-blood trans and non-binary humans who, according to psychoanalyst Dr. Jean Raffa, ‘...radiate enormous power, because consciously integrated masculinity and femininity, both at the top of their energy, is the ultimate power of which humanity is capable.’ ...Don’t mind if I fckn do. *raises glass* 🍸✨ https://www.instagram.com/amazonesque/p/By2wCFIlYK4/?igshid=86xjkyjb92xi

[hannahfons]

Rule for Life: Always do your best to have footwear that’s cooler than the floor you’re standing on. 😎✨ (at Manhattan, New York) https://www.instagram.com/amazonesque/p/ByspmvulQqw/?igshid=rnpw4n2qpcsb

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Words of Wisdom/Encyclopedia of Badassery COMBO - Pride Edition: Today, a tidbit from a Vice interview with the fascinating, possibly-Enlightened American artist and author Chris Rush. (The full article by Luke Goebel appeared on vice.com this past April - def worth a read.) #encyclopediaofbadassery #wordsofwisdom https://www.instagram.com/amazonesque/p/Bynp0x-lyjp/?igshid=leckcpj73teo

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Encyclopedia of Badassery- Pride Edition: Meet Pavitra Nimbhorakar, a leader of the Kinnar Akhada, an order of transgender Hindu ascetics formed in 2015. She’s in charge of KA’s 2,500+ members during the triennial Ardh Kumbh Mela, India’s biggest spiritual festival...and the largest gathering of human beings on the planet. According to Pavitra, kinnars (trans people) ‘are demigods in the Hindu religious texts, and have been granted the power to bless by Lord Ram.’ And bless they did: on *every one* of the 49 days of the Kumbh this past winter, *20,000 to 30,000* pilgrims sought out Kinnar Akhada members for advice and spiritual guidance. Thousands came from all over India just to meet Pavitra herself - calling her Mataji (mother) or Maharajji (guru), and seeking just to hug her or touch her hands, thus gaining the blessing of a living saint. It’s not all love and light for India’s transfolk - a 2018 human rights report estimated that *92%* of trans femmes in India are forced to beg or engage in survival sex work, thanks to being shut out of other livelihoods - but the Indian Supreme Court *did* officially recognize a third gender in 2014, and as Pavitra herself put it in a recent @natgeo interview, ‘I certainly must have done something good in my past life to have seen this day.’ (Pic credit: Ismail Ferdous) #encyclopediaofbadassery https://www.instagram.com/amazonesque/p/BykrbEOFJGJ/?igshid=tu5zlq72kkf2

[hannahfons]

Encyclopedia of Badassery- Pride Edition: Swoon in the presence of Julie ‘La Maupin’ D’Aubigny of France, circa 1693. The feisty bisexual daughter of Louis XIV’s Grand Squire, Jules grew up riding horses and hanging with stable-guys; as a teen she ran off with her fencing instructor/lover, and the two would perform live dueling demos at fairs and taverns. At one show, a heckler yelled that Julie was too skilled to be female - at which point she stripped off her shirt and continued fighting topless. It gets better; Jules also had a celebrated career as a star of the Paris Opera - not only did she have a gorgeous contralto, but her near-photographic memory enabled her to learn entire operas in a single reading. She was notorious for going to balls - often dressed as a man - and seducing the wives of Parisian elites. No fewer than *10* salty menfolk challenged Jules to duel for insulting their honor - and she killed every one of ‘em. But wait, there’s moar; Jules once posed as a postulant in order to sneak into a convent and jailbreak the nun she was sleeping with - she then *stole the body* of a recently-deceased sister, put it in her girlfriend’s bed as a decoy, and set fire to the room to cover their escape. So. Rich, queer, swashbuckling lady with a voice like honey, a mind like a steel trap, and absolutely zero fcks to spare? I’d call that textbook Badassery. #encyclopediaofbadassery https://www.instagram.com/amazonesque/p/ByaTWFFFP3P/?igshid=pxd4n2arreus

[hannahfons]

Encyclopedia of Badassery - Pride Edition: Gaze upon Oxumaré, Afro-Brazilian Orixá of the rainbow and serpent, symbol of rebirth, movement, dynamism and wealth, and the androgynous, gender-switching interlocutor between humans and the unknowable divine. Their name differs between places/traditions (they’re Òsùmàrè in Nigeria, for example, and Ochumaré in some Latinx countries), but it’s generally agreed that they change sexes at will, and/or live half the year as female and half as male, acting as the bridge between heaven and earth, the holy and the mundane. Oxumarè’s colors are either green and yellow, or the whole rainbow, and their day of worship and work is Sunday. Sources differ regarding their preferred offerings; some say honey, milk and perfume...others claim that Oxumarè accepts only pure, clear water. 🐍🌈✨ #encyclopediaofbadassery https://www.instagram.com/amazonesque/p/ByX3ze2lMjX/?igshid=5d4wk8c3awl8

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Encyclopedia of Badassery- Pride Edition: Acquaint yo’selves with Willem Arondeus of the Netherlands. Born in 1895 and displaying precocious artistic talent, Willem was kicked out of his home when he came out as gay at 17. He worked odd jobs and did art commissions until Germany invaded in 1940, whereupon Willem immediately joined the Resistance, arranging for Jews to be hidden in Dutch homes, and using his artistic skills to forge ID papers for anyone fleeing the Nazis. In 1943, Willem disguised himself as a Nazi captain, and with 15 men behind him marched into the Amsterdam Office of Public Records. He drugged the guards, and then firebombed the building - destroying 1,000 of records and delaying or preventing the IDing of local Jews by the Nazis. Willem was captured a few days later and executed; his last words were, ‘Let it be known that homosexuals are not cowards.’ Indeed fcking not. Rest in Pride and Power, cousin. ✨✊🏻✨ https://www.instagram.com/amazonesque/p/ByVM4sKFhYS/?igshid=1st8npqa52wy9

[hannahfons]

Encyclopedia of Badassery- Entry #578: Meet Sekhmet, the Red Lady, ancient Egyptian goddess of the sun, war, destruction, plague, and - perhaps surprisingly - healing. She is one of the oldest of the Egyptian pantheon, likely imported down the Nile from Sudan before pharaohs were even A Thing. Sekhmet’s name (of which she has many) means ‘She Who is Powerful,’ and she’s usually depicted as a fearsome lion-headed woman dressed in crimson and crowned with a cobra and golden solar disc. She was closely associated with Hathor, goddess of love and motherhood, and so was sometimes referred to both as The Lady of Terror *and* The Lady of Life. She’s the bringer of pestilence to those who offend her, but she’s also the patron of physicians, surgeons, and healers. She’s The Gracious One, The Lady of Tombs, and The Destroyer of Rebellions - the one pharaoh called upon when he simply *had* to kill every motherf*cker from Saqqara to Abu Simbel - and she is truly among the baddest of asses.🔥🦁🔥#encyclopediaofbadassery https://www.instagram.com/p/ByDNkqhDyj6/?igshid=1ot0ziwiyq4sy

[hannahfons]

Encyclopedia of Badassery- Entry #218: Gaze upon the wonder that is Pando, aka The Trembling Giant - a 106-acre forest of nearly 50,000 quaking aspen trees in south-central Utah. Thing is, Pando isn’t a *just* a forest. Every one of its trees shares a single root system, and is genetically identical to every other, meaning that it’s actually a single, massive living organism. It’s at least 80,000 years old, which means that Pando (which means ‘spread-out’ in Latin) predates human arrival in North America by 50,000yrs, and is both one of the oldest and largest known organisms on the planet. It has survived the Ice Age, and countless forest fires...but Pando hasn’t displayed any new growth for the past 30-40 years, and is thought to be dying, thanks to human interference - including drought, cattle grazing, and fire suppression. Because of course. 😔 #encyclopediaofbadassery https://www.instagram.com/p/BxfRCtbFmuN/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1bnmlv9ilxgi0

[hannahfons]

Encyclopedia of Badassery- Entry #890: Bend the knee to Caster Semenya of South Africa, x2 Olympic gold medalist in the 800m. Thanks to her naturally-elevated testosterone levels, CS has been scrutinized, subjected to invasive, humiliating ‘medical’ tests, and held up for ridicule as being too muscular, too ‘manly,’ and too whatever-the-fuck else to compete in women’s track and field. She’s been dealing with this trash since she started competing at 18, and last week was ordered by the IAAF and an arbitration court to either take drugs to suppress her natural T-levels, or stop competing. Oddly, nobody has suggested trimming Michael Phelps’ mutant arms, or surgically removing the extra fast-twitch muscle fibers from Usain Bolt’s thighs in order to make *them* ‘fairer’ competitors. No, this is about a bunch of demonstrably corrupt, aging white men deciding that *they* know where the line between male and female lies, and appointing themselves to police it - especially when it comes to a black African woman whose appearance and athletic prowess offends their delicate notions of what female bodies are supposed to look like, and how they should perform. *I* sure as hell wouldn’t want to race Caster Semenya - but I also wouldn’t want to wrestle Hafþór Björnsson, or shoot hoops against Marc Gasol. If you possess innate attributes that give you a competitive edge, god bless ya - and god help your opponents. Caster Semenya is an example of the wondrous range of natural human variation - leave her body alone and Let. Her. Run. #encyclopediaofbadassery https://www.instagram.com/p/BxPtNjqlhM9/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1b9q2n05901hf

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Encyclopedia of Badassery- Entry #333: Gaze upon the countenance of a Siberian Yakut shaman, deep in trance circa 1926. Though shamans and shamanic practices are called different things in different places, the concept of the ‘spiritual technician’ who enters an altered state of consciousness to interact with spirits on behalf of their people is nearly universal - and uncannily similar from one culture to the next. Far different from the friendly neighborhood wise-person, or even the priest, the shaman is a fearsome archetypal figure, ‘spirit-bothered’ and ‘doomed to inspiration’ - compelled by the spirits themselves to enter into professional congress with the supernatural. Refusal to do so once invited generally leads to madness, sickness, and ultimately, death. In many cultures, shamanic inspiration strikes in adolescence, often concurrent with a catastrophic illness or injury, a period of deep depression, or emergent Queerness of some variety...including gender dysphoria. Gender-changing shamans are frequently regarded as especially powerful, their innate in-between-ness making them particularly adept at passing between realities. Beware the person who declares themself to be a shaman - it’s not a thing one names oneself, and not a thing anyone with a lick of sense would want. (photo cred: I. Popov) https://www.instagram.com/p/BxIMP2AlaMT/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1tzgjia7li7x2

[hannahfons]

Encyclopedia of Badassery- Entry #333: Acquaint yo’self with Master Geng, born in what’s now Nanjing, China in the mid-900s. Born female but declaring themself to be a man, Geng displayed razor-keen intelligence from early childhood, excelling at poetry, the Daoist arts of alchemy...and subduing ghosts. Summoned to the court of Emperor Li Jing, Geng arrived as a scholar (rather than a concubine), insisted on being addressed as ‘Master,’ and kicked around the palace in a fabulous turquoise ‘cloud-cape.’ Due to a congenital condition, Geng’s hands were wasted - ‘like chicken claws,’ according to scant historical records - and Geng relied upon servants to bring morsels of food to his lips; he also preferred to be carried around on a couch rather than walk. Despite his unusual gender arrangement (and the whole chicken-hands thing) Geng was notorious for his sexual prowess and ability to hold his liquor; at one point he ran off with the Empress Dowager Song - the two of them were found a month later, partying with a gang of Daoist monks at a monastery 20mi from the palace. (Thanks to @eproper for the badass tip!) #encylopediaofbadassery https://www.instagram.com/p/BwUePC2A8BL/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1wf45ualw0oxg