These past few days made me realize how badly I can overthink things but also how fortunate I am with my family and that I'm getting better at asking for help and making good choices for the sake of my health.
Aug 16 - I had a low-grade migraine in the morning but had such a bad neck pain that it scared the shit out of me. I was so scared on the commute back home because it was so painful.
I slept from 2AM to 7AM and was so uncomfortable because of how muggy our room was and how painful my neck was. Got fixated on searching about neck pain and migraines.
Aug 17 - Not feeling refreshed at all but my headache was gone. Neck still felt tight and tense.
Went and bought some stuff to exchange with Ronn (Korean for the suman ng Rosalie's) and tried the Korean cafe I was eyeing a few times na with Keon and parents.
Taught my parents to take mirror selfies 😂
Did jogging after a long while.
Didn't sleep and got even more anxious and scared about stuff
Aug 18 - tried my hardest to catch up on my sleep throughout the day but I couldn't. Finally fell asleep at 10PM and woke up around 7AM. Did some vagus nerve exercises coz the anxiety was making me feel even worse.
Aug 19 - was not at all feeling well. Talked to Ate Iya to have it checked. IM in-house consultant ordered X-ray and prescribed muscle relaxant for 5 days. Finished the X-ray while doing S&OP 😂
There's the Jollibee Tower! Bought some food for my pamangkins and went there to see them and wait the rush hour out.
Went home and was able to sleep naman.
(Was told that possibly, I had high blood pressure but actually I just felt really nervous that I can feel how tense everything was.)
Aug 20 - worked the morning but taking my first dose of Myonal felt super weird so took the afternoon off. The rest of the day was unremarkable. Was able to sleep well.
Aske to WFH for the rest of the week because of the meds' side effects.
Aug 21 - worked the whole day. Neck was still very tensed. Was able to sleep at 10PM but woke up at almost 1AM. Not able to get back to sleep and was legit freaking out (tightness in my chest and tingling of my left arm are stress responses, I think). The feeling of numbness taking over your body and black void taking over your vision but you're still awake. It felt like I was getting into a coma so I open my eyes and wake up.
Aug 22 - Asked Ate Iya if we can go back to the hospital. Broke down to my parents telling them I'm not okay. Asked to leave the online pre-planning session to go back to the hospital. Grateful that Jen can rep the MET in person.
Fell asleep on my way there but feeling really scared when I woke up from my nap. When I got the results of muscle spasms, there's relief but also disbelief. Opted to continue with Ortho consult. It was so fast and reassuring. When I got home, I was more anxious about not being able to fall asleep. But was finally able to! (I actually woke up at past 1 because I hated the sound of balloons squeaking (that's the part that's playing in the ASMR). It was uncomfortable trying to sleep on my back so really grateful to be able to get back to sleep.
13 is always a good sign! ❤️
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