The pain
The pain I feel is something real A deep hurt that developed over 22 years of my life It started with bullying and it ended with bullying When the bullies went to far and I ran across the ocean to the furthest point my heart could fathom to get away from the chaos the put downs the emotional turmoil the parts of my heart I buried deep turned into a boiler of suppressed emotions of things left unsaid in order to conform to their standards The day I broke free I found myself I found a place that feels like home where a meg can show her true colours and instead of bullies I found true family support at all angles I rested my head and decided to stay One day I realized the boiler still lived inside angry brooding steaming pure agony waiting to resurface It started spilling over triggered by reflections in others pain My cup could not hold the boiler any longer it floods my body until it spills out of my eyes becoming so unmanageable that I was drowning- overflowing at moments I could not control And so I learn to let the boiler flow flow out of me in whatever way it needs Acknowledging this boiler is the first step So... Where do I go from here? I am learning to communicate I am learning to honor my emotions I am learning to set boundaries I am learning to trust the process