hello stranger

in bloom

[obsessiveshayme]

OMG. I’ve been so busy staring at Sidney’s ass when I see this gif that I MISSED THAT GENO IS SHIRTLESS BACK THERE!!!

I am canceled. 

[thebootydiaries]

It’s a breezy summer day and the rustling from the leaves outside sound like whispers from my small apartment. I’m sitting in front of my laptop, silently studying the 1.6 billion faces speaking simultaneously in front of me. It’s Monday, the day of the weekly conference call between all Muslims. We have been required to attend this Skype meeting from the the tender age of fetus, but I had never spoken in one of them before. 

That changes today. 

“Hey guys, what if…” I start to say. 

Nobody hears me, but I refuse to be silent. How could I show my face again on Tumblr if I couldn’t even save my mayonnaise friends from death? How could I expect to earn their respect? Anon was right; why hadn’t I done this before? Thousands of lives had paid the price for my ignorance, but not anymore.

“What if you guys….. stopped killing people.“ 

Suddenly, silence. 

1,643,398,023 pairs of eyes are on me. My heart is in my throat as the ISIS leader gives me a blank expression. 

A single tear rolls down my cheek. "Please.” I say with a broken voice. 

He is moved. 

“Aight”.

[thebootydiaries]

My fingers are almost shaking as I carefully type in the ten digit phone number I have had memorized my entire life. The buttons on my home phone seem to glow a bit more dull, and even the ringing of the phone from the other end seems to be agonized, almost as if the world is telling me to hang up. But I refuse to give up; I can’t let my lily-white friends down. Not again.

The phone rings once. Twice. Three times. Still no answer. Just as I am about to hang up, there is a click.

All I can hear is heavy breathing.

“Hello….” I say quietly, my voice shaking. “Is….. Is this Muslim?”

There was a long silence before I heard a voice answer “ya lol.”

“I was thinking………..” I begin cautiously. “Maybe murder is…………bad.”

“Habibi, I…..I don’t understand. What are you trying to say….?” The voice seems shaken.

“What if…….world peace is good and killing people is…………not good”

He lets out an audible gasp. “Are you saying ISIS is…….bad?”

“Maybe death is…….not good.” I continue. My heart is racing. I remind myself that I am saving thousands of lives, and inhale.

The silence from the other end of the line is almost deafening. He seemed to be thinking, as if he had never considered this idea before in his life. Truly I had opened his heart and his mind. This…. This could end terrorism.

“Muslim….Please.” I whisper.

I hear a tear roll down his cheek, with my Muslim Communication Hearing™, and hold my breath as he finally breathes out his next words.

“Kk.”

[nayyirahwaheed-deactivated20180]

there is prayer in poem. when i am writing i am praying. all the prayers that are too soft. too young. too old. to say.

nayyirah waheed (via nayyirahwaheed)

[pensfan4lfe]

Geno playing first with Sid on base.

[ninjaomelet]

kind of random request but something I've really wanted to see for a while (and don't want to request from my non-hockey artist friend); do you remember that meme from Pacific Rim with Pentecost ripping open his jacket to reveal a 'mako fan club founder' shirt? so last year during the playoffs one of the Rangers - Zuccarello - said to Sid 'I like Malkin better' and now I'm just imagining him saying that and Sid ripping open his jersey to a 'malkin fan club president' shirt or something

[happyasrain]

this is the best ever 

[serenity-fails]

MAKO FAN CLUB

[angrygirlcomics]

Here’s my life. My husband and I get up each morning at 7 o’clock and he showers while I make coffee. By the time he’s dressed I’m already sitting at my desk writing. He kisses me goodbye then leaves for the job where he makes good money, draws excellent benefits and gets many perks, such as travel, catered lunches and full reimbursement for the gym where I attend yoga midday. His career has allowed me to work only sporadically, as a consultant, in a field I enjoy. All that disclosure is crass, I know. I’m sorry. Because in this world where women will sit around discussing the various topiary shapes of their bikini waxes, the conversation about money (or privilege) is the one we never have. Why? I think it’s the Marie Antoinette syndrome: Those with privilege and luck don’t want the riffraff knowing the details. After all, if “those people” understood the differences in our lives, they might revolt. Or, God forbid, not see us as somehow more special, talented and/or deserving than them. There’s a special version of this masquerade that we writers put on. Two examples: I attended a packed reading (I’m talking 300+ people) about a year and a half ago. The author was very well-known, a magnificent nonfictionist who has, deservedly, won several big awards. He also happens to be the heir to a mammoth fortune. Mega-millions. In other words he’s a man who has never had to work one job, much less two. He has several children; I know, because they were at the reading with him, all lined up. I heard someone say they were all traveling with him, plus two nannies, on his worldwide tour. None of this takes away from his brilliance. Yet, when an audience member — young, wide-eyed, clearly not clued in — rose to ask him how he’d managed to spend 10 years writing his current masterpiece — What had he done to sustain himself and his family during that time? — he told her in a serious tone that it had been tough but he’d written a number of magazine articles to get by. I heard a titter pass through the half of the audience that knew the truth. But the author, impassive, moved on and left this woman thinking he’d supported his Manhattan life for a decade with a handful of pieces in the Nation and Salon. Example two. A reading in a different city, featuring a 30-ish woman whose debut novel had just appeared on the front page of the New York Times Book Review. I didn’t love the book (a coming-of-age story set among wealthy teenagers) but many people I respect thought it was great, so I defer. The author had herself attended one of the big, East Coast prep schools, while her parents were busy growing their careers on the New York literary scene. These were people — her parents — who traded Christmas cards with William Maxwell and had the Styrons over for dinner. She, the author, was their only beloved child. After prep school, she’d earned two creative writing degrees (Iowa plus an Ivy). Her first book was being heralded by editors and reviewers all over the country, many of whom had watched her grow up. It was a phenomenon even before it hit bookshelves. She was an immediate star. When (again) an audience member, clearly an undergrad, rose to ask this glamorous writer to what she attributed her success, the woman paused, then said that she had worked very, very hard and she’d had some good training, but she thought in looking back it was her decision never to have children that had allowed her to become a true artist. If you have kids, she explained to the group of desperate nubile writers, you have to choose between them and your writing. Keep it pure. Don’t let yourself be distracted by a baby’s cry. I was dumbfounded. I wanted to leap to my feet and shout. “Hello? Alice Munro! Doris Lessing! Joan Didion!” Of course, there are thousands of other extraordinary writers who managed to produce art despite motherhood. But the essential point was that, the quality of her book notwithstanding, this author’s chief advantage had nothing to do with her reproductive decisions. It was about connections. Straight up. She’d had them since birth. In my opinion, we do an enormous “let them eat cake” disservice to our community when we obfuscate the circumstances that help us write, publish and in some way succeed. I can’t claim the wealth of the first author (not even close); nor do I have the connections of the second. I don’t have their fame either. But I do have a huge advantage over the writer who is living paycheck to paycheck, or lonely and isolated, or dealing with a medical condition, or working a full-time job. How can I be so sure? Because I used to be poor, overworked and overwhelmed. And I produced zero books during that time. Throughout my 20s, I was married to an addict who tried valiantly (but failed, over and over) to stay straight. We had three children, one with autism, and lived in poverty for a long, wretched time. In my 30s I divorced the man because it was the only way out of constant crisis. For the next 10 years, I worked two jobs and raised my three kids alone, without child support or the involvement of their dad. I published my first novel at 39, but only after a teaching stint where I met some influential writers and three months living with my parents while I completed the first draft. After turning in that manuscript, I landed a pretty cushy magazine editor’s job. A year later, I met my second husband. For the first time I had a true partner, someone I could rely on who was there in every way for me and our kids. Life got easier. I produced a nonfiction book, a second novel and about 30 essays within a relatively short time. Today, I am essentially “sponsored” by this very loving man who shows up at the end of the day, asks me how the writing went, pours me a glass of wine, then takes me out to eat. He accompanies me when I travel 500 miles to do a 75-minute reading, manages my finances, and never complains that my dark, heady little books have resulted in low advances and rather modest sales. I completed my third novel in eight months flat. I started the book while on a lovely vacation. Then I wrote happily and relatively quickly because I had the time and the funding, as well as help from my husband, my agent and a very talented editor friend. Without all those advantages, I might be on page 52. OK, there’s mine. Now show me yours.

Ann Bauer, ““Sponsored” by my husband: Why it’s a problem that writers never talk about where their money comes from”, http://www.salon.com/2015/01/25/sponsored_by_my_husband_why_its_a_problem_that_writers_never_talk_about_where_their_money_comes_from/ (via angrygirlcomics)

This is so important, especially for people like me, who are always hearing the radio station that plays “but you’re 26 and you are ~*~gifted~*~ and you can write, WHERE IS YOUR NOVEL” on constant loop.

It’s so important because I see younger people who can write going “oh yes, I can write, therefore I will be an English major, and write my book and live on that yes?? then I don’t have to do other jobs yes??” and you’re like “oh, no, honey, at least try to add another string to your bow, please believe that it will not happen quite like that” 

It’s so important not to be overly impressed by Walden because Thoreau’s mother continued to cook him food and wash his laundry while he was doing his self-sufficient wilderness-experiment “sit in a cabin and write” thing.

It’s so important because when you’re impressed by Lord of the Rings, remember that Tolkien had servants, a wife, university scouts and various underlings to do his admin, cook his meals, chase after him, and generally set up his life so that the only thing he had to do was wander around being vague and clever. In fact, the man could barely stand to show up at his own day job.

It’s important when you look at published fiction to remember that it is a non-random sample, and that it’s usually produced by the leisure class, so that most of what you study and consume is essentially wolves in captivity - not wolves in the wild - and does not reflect the experiences of all wolves.

Yeah. Important. Like that.

(via elodieunderglass)

[ninjaomelet]

a christmas story

Keep reading

[ninjaomelet]

getting ready for halloween

[ninjaomelet]

they’re penguins

[happyasrain]

everything is beautiful and nothing hurts

[ninjaomelet]

how bout that prospects hockey, huh?

[laurenmichelle310]

vaginal hygiene & health - an introductory crash course

pass this on to spread knowledge whether you have one or not, #save-a-coochie

- the vagina is the tubular ‘internal’ sex organ that some people have. - the ‘vulva’ is the set of external sex organs that people with vaginas have. it includes (but not only):

pubic mound 

labia minora and majora (inner/outer ‘lips’)

clitoris and clitoral hood 

vulval vestibule (found in between your labia minora)

urethra (where you urinate from)

vaginal opening

-vaginas naturally contain a balance of different bacterias. this bacteria protects the vagina from external bacteria and fungus, provides natural disinfectants and maintains a healthy vaginal pH of 3.5-4.5.

-vaginal pH varies from person to person, day to day, depending on your cycle, your diet and many other external factors,

-all vaginas have a scent. all of them. no two people smell exactly the same, and you shouldn’t expect your vagina (or anyone else’s) to smell fruity or floral.

- if your worried about your scent, you can place perfume or an essential oil to an area around your vulva but not on it. some places like between your thighs or on your lower stomach, for example,

-your body secretes natural fluids called discharge. discharge is how your vagina self cleanses. it is completely normal and vital to healthy vaginal function.

-discharge can vary in amount, color, texture and scent depending on your cycle. each person is different. if your discharge is unusual or abnormal to you and your unique body - visit a doctor if possible.

-abnormal discharge can be green, grey, very yellow, smelly, itchy, chunky, etc.

-abundant discharge can be annoying. you can remove excess discharge in your shower by inserting one clean finger into your vagina, moving it from one side to another and ‘scooping’ the discharge out. repeat as needed. this reduces the amount of discharge found on your panties and in turn, reduces vaginal scent.

- dead skin cells and oil can build up between your clitoris and your clitoral hood, so it’s important to lift your hood up and rinse thoroughly so it doesnt harden. 

-washing your “external” vulvar areas such as your public mound and outer lips is okay, though some may find skin here more sensitive.

-don’t douche. you may think it helps but it only masks any problems while causing more. douching throws of your flora, alters your PH and forces bacteria into your cervix.

-water and a soft, clean wash cloth is all you need to clean your vulvar areas that contain a mucous membrane. you do not need to wash these areas. applying soaps or cleaners to these areas removes of natural necessary lubricants and bacteria. this may cause irritation, inflammation, major discomfort and dryness. some amount of moistness should always be present.

-a vast majority of vaginal washes, even those touted as hypoallergenic, still contain dyes and fragrances which are known irritants. read the label.

-while Summer’s eve is a lesser of evils with a PH of 3.0 - 3.5 (still not quite correct), it is still a cleanser. vaginal washes are used to cleanse “bad” bacteria from your vulva. they also wash away the “good” bacteria needed to maintain a healthy balance.

-castile soaps (like Dr. Bronner’s) has a pH of about 8.9. these are not suggested.

-never insert any cleansing agents into your vagina.

-the information above applies to any gels, deodorants, perfumed products and wipes, too. these can all disturb your natural balance.

-while they still pose a possible risk of irritation, unscented baby wipes are the lesser of evils regarding “freshening up”.

-pay attention to your irritants and triggers. different people, different reactions

-everyone has different stances and different methods that work for them. if you aren’t experiencing vaginal discomfort or odd changes, you don’t have to discontinue certain product use. i do, however, recommend a trial period of leaving these products alone due to their effects on your vagina.

-allow your vagina to breathe. keep too-tight clothing to a minimum. cotton panties are the best option next to not wearing any at all. rotate the washcloth and towels you use to clean and dry your vagina.

-urinating after masturbation or sex reduces the amount of bacteria in your urethra wiping ‘front to back’ keeps rectal bacterial away from your vagina.

-naturally, food alters your vagina. balancing your diet in general and including things like pineapples, strawberries, yogurt, soy (the list goes on!) can influence your pH.

-beverages like water, cranberry juice and pineapple juice are also proven to improve vaginal health, and may even improve taste.

-adding a probiotic supplement can increase the amount of “good” bacteria called lactobacillus-your vagina.

-the less ideal your vaginal balance/pH is, the more vulnerable you are to infections and STDs.

-when it comes to internet home remedies, your mileage my vary. try everything with caution and research thoroughly.

cheers! your vagina will thank you.

[spiritofthewhale-deactivated201]

Please don’t be an immature 12 year old and be like “ew that’s about a vagina I’m not reblogging that that’s gross!” It is literally a body part It needs to be kept healthy People with vaginas need to understand how to keep them healthy Just reblog

[kind-cult]

this means so much bc no one ever taught me this shit so bless u if u reblog this

[soflobrat]

Always reblog

[cutegaywitch-deactivated2021022]

advantages to wearing oversized sweaters:

instant cute outfit with minimal effort

it enhances the coziness when u drink hot beverages

sweater paws are guaranteed to make u feel 43% more adorable

u can unbutton ur jeans and no one will know

disadvantages to wearing oversized sweaters:

[aneastcoastbreeze-deactivated20]

Guys think they’re totally not cute lol

[cutegaywitch-deactivated2021022]

the day i dress for a man is the day they dress me in my coffin to see jesus

[backiesand8]

New Ovi commercial

[djpengwin]

[x][x][x][x][x]

[happyasrain]

Best part is still when he smiles with his missing tooth haha

[northamericanghost]

Van Gogh has become very popular here on Tumblr over the past year or so. Understandably it makes sense, “Starry Night” is one of the most famous paintings in the world and is endlessly reproduced, and as a man who suffered from mental illness he is relatable to many people online. However I have, and will always feel that when one chooses to participate in the Art world you must one day cross the threshold from introduction artists (western, universally accepted, white, male) and invest in learning about the endless amount of artists throughout history that are stepped over.

So where can you start? Maybe we can look at other female Neoclassicism/Academics, Impressionists, and Modernism/Post-Impressionists/Expressionists, and  (styles most popularly seen in the late 19th and early 20th century)—the movements of art I’ve noticed to be most popular on Tumblr. Many of these artists fall in and out of various styles, so I’ve tried to put them with the style they most closely worked within.

Neoclassicism/Academic:

Camille Claudel

Rosa Bonheur

Enid Yandell

Elizabeth Jane Gardner

Impressionists:

Berthe Morisot

Mary Cassatt

Eva Gonzalès

Marie Bracquemond

Lilla Cabot Perry

Olga Boznańska

Lucy Bacon

Anna Boch

Modernism/Post Impressionists/Expressionist:

Suzanne Valadon

Zinaida Serebriakova

Victorine Meurent

Romaine Brooks

Emily Carr

Sigrid Hjertén

Gabriele Münter

Charlotte Salomon

Paula Modersohn-Becker

Or artists who were not white?

Neoclassicism/Academic:

Eugene Warburg

Leandro Izaguirre

Impressionists:

Henry Ossawa Tanner

Edward Mitchell Bannister

Joaquín Clausell

Francisco Romano Guillemin

Kuroda Seiki

Kume Keiichiro

Moderism/Post-Impressionist/Expressionist:

Dr. Atl (Gerardo Murillo Cornado)

Norman Lewis (Also a part of the Harlem Renaissance)

Charles Alston (Also a part of the Harlem Renaissance)

And specifically women of color?

Neoclassicism/Academic:

Edmonia Lewis

Impressionists:

Kiyohara Tama

Modernism/Post Impressionists/Expressionists:

Pan Yuliang

Amrita Sher-Gil

Elizabeth Catlett

Frida Kahlo

Augusta Savage (Also a part of the Harlem Renaissance)

Meta Vaux Warrick Fuller (Also a part of the Harlem Renaissance)

So basically there is absolutely no reason why any of these artists shouldn’t be hanging in your room or adoring your Tumblr feed. This list was created with limited resources, and is obviously incomplete and limited to a small group of Western Canon movements, so feel free to add some of your own favorites!

[northamericanghost]

I spent a lot of time on this so I’m just going to reblog it once incase anyone who was interested in it when I first posted that I was working on this quick brief of artists didn’t see the late afternoon post yesterday.

[happyasrain]

#yas

[blogginghaley]

Real College Courses

*For my summer internship I had to go through course catalogs and schedules for roughly 100 prominent schools in the U.S. Here are the top 20 weird courses I found.*

Is Orange the New Black? Women and Incarceration

History of Middle Earth III

Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse

Disney Demystified: Race, Gender and Sexuality in the Magic Kingdom

Free Love and Graham Crackers

From Fanny to the Nanny: Jewish Women and Humor

Kirk and Katniss Save the World

Shalom Y’all

Dungeons and Dragons: Analyzing the Adventure

Literary Culture of Facial Hair

To Tweet or Not to Tweet

Cheese and Culture

From Sesame Street to Wall Street: Puppets and Society

Our Vampires, Ourselves: Literature, History, Visual Culture, Science

Higher Education: From Aristotle to Animal House

It’s a bird…It’s a plane…It’s a reporter: The journalist in popular media

Slaves, Whores, and Poors: Religion and Oppression

Boom! Kapow! Bravo! Comic Books as Theatre

Thinking About Harry Potter

Fantasy, Fandom, and Fans: Exceeding Our Own Lives

[barefootdramaturg]

Most of those don’t seem weird to me at all? Just specific. Free Love and Graham Crackers in this only one I can’t parse.

[missmollyetc]

That one is probably about different movements in the sexual mores debate. Graham Crackers were originally created as an anti-aphrodisiac.

[happyasrain]

#lololol

[ultrafacts]

Source Click HERE to Follow the Ultrafacts Blog!

[vancity604778kid]

ALICE ROOSEVELT WAS HARDCORE. “She was known as a rule-breaker in an era when women were under great pressure to conform. The American public noticed many of her exploits. She smoked cigarettes in public, swore at officials, rode in cars with men, stayed out late partying, kept a pet snake named Emily Spinach (Emily as in her spinster aunt and Spinach for its green color) in the White House, and was seen placing bets with a bookie. 

[optimysticals]

So what I’m reading here is, she was a Roosevelt?

[catsuitmonarchy]

Well I have a new hero.

Her whole wikipedia article is gold

“When her father was governor of New York, he and his wife proposed that Alice attend a conservative school for girls in New York City. Pulling out all the stops, Alice wrote, ‘If you send me I will humiliate you. I will do something that will shame you. I tell you I will.’”

“Her father took office in 1901 following the assassination of President William McKinley, Jr. in Buffalo (an event that she greeted with “sheer rapture.”)“

“During the cruise to Japan, Alice jumped into the ship’s pool fully clothed, and coaxed a congressman to join her in the water. (Years later Bobby Kennedy would chide her about the incident, saying it was outrageous for the time, to which the by-then-octogenarian Alice replied that it would only have been outrageous had she removed her clothes.”

“She was dressed in a blue wedding dress and dramatically cut the wedding cake with a sword (borrowed from a military aide attending the reception)”

“When it came time for the Roosevelt family to move out of the White House, Alice buried a Voodoo doll of the new First Lady, Nellie Taft, in the front yard.”

“Later, the Taft White House banned her from her former residence—the first but not the last administration to do so. During Woodrow Wilson’s administration (from which she was banned in 1916 for a bawdy joke at Wilson’s expense)…”

“As an example of her attitudes on race, in 1965 her African-American chauffeur and one of her best friends, Turner, was driving Alice to an appointment. During the trip, he pulled out in front of a taxi, and the driver got out and demanded to know of him, “What do you think you’re doing, you black bastard?” Turner took the insult calmly, but Alice did not and told the taxi driver, “He’s taking me to my destination, you white son of a bitch!”

“To Senator Joseph McCarthy, who had jokingly remarked at a party “Here’s my blind date. I am going to call you Alice”, she sarcastically said “Senator McCarthy, you are not going to call me Alice. The trashman and the policeman on my block call me Alice, but you may not.”

[mewjounouchi]

I love this woman.

[distractedbyshinyobjects]

WOMEN WHO NEED FUCKEN MOVIES.

[themauveroom]

This is Alice as an older lady. The pillow says “If you can’t say something good about someone, sit right here by me.” 

She is my absolute favorite. 

[happyasrain]

#badasswomen #yas