One simple word that would describe my life now. This is something that I haven't really felt in my whole entire life. I was always feeling so empty. Searching for answers that I don't think would even seem to exist. So my life basically end getting messed up. Even if you ask the people who knew me then. I used to have a lot of haters. Well, even now, I still have people hating me and backstabbing and just trying to get into my nerves just to see if I'd actually blow up. I know why I have people like them, stalking, backstabbing and just hate me for the rest of my life. Well, I guess it is because I have hurt so many people and I really didn't mean to. It's just the result of my hunger to be someone, hunger to be appreciated, hunger to be everything. I was that hungry to have everything that I didn't mind being so insensitive to what other's actually feel. I was not contented with what I have that I became greedy to just grab everything that might come my way and it if it end up being useless or a hindrance to my goal to become something great, I'll just leave it and take it for granted. Bottom line is, I was just so selfish. All I ever thought about was myself. A few months ago, I was able to stop and think of what I really want and what do i really want to happen with my life. I was able to contemplate well with what had happened to me and why it had to happen and I have realized that I was selfish, I lack self respect and I wasn't really contented with what I already have. I wanted to be everything to everybody but I forgot to look back and thank the people who had been there for me. I was able to realize the people who were really true to me and who weren't and they're the people whom i call my family. Yes I know that I've been telling the world how much I love them but it was just these months that I really get to be with them that it really sank to my heart that I love them. I really don't want to lose them. I feel so contented with what I have right now. God, my family and my fiancé had been there with me helping me all through out. Soon, I'll be settling down and having my own family which will even be my greatest reason to be happy.
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