harami (•̥̥̥ ᴗ •̥̥̥)

ALIVE ALIVE ALIVE ! ! !

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final work of the year

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been a long fucking year

on to the next one

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trying out some cool things

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with audio :D

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trying out some cool things

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i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i fucking hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i fucking love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i fucking hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i fucking hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i fucking love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i fucking hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i fucking hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i fucking love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i fucking hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i fucking hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i fucking love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i fucking hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face i hate my face i love my face

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Another cool video feedback based interactive installation I did for another class

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some cool video feedback stuff I made for one of my classes :D

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i simply do not have emotional permanence

how fucking immature and exhausting that is

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i had failed quitting smoking a couple of times before in my life because i wasn’t really convinced that i needed to, but about a month ago, i learned that apparently nicotine can nullify the effects of orally administered estradiol so i quit smoking immediately and have not even felt the want or need to.

like as soon as i actually believed that i wanted to quit, i quit

which is i guess awesome that i can just do that

but also idk why i am thinking that i am merely alive because i havent yet found a good enough reason to kill myself just yet and how easily and quickly i’ll pull the trigger when i do

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i hate you because i hate me

which makes you hate me

and so i hate you

i am being irrational and unreasonable and toxic and i know all that but its bc of my bpd but i swear to god im not saying that as an excuse for being shit im saying it to give u a valid reason to hate me for and its not only fair but also deserved

im actually doing you a favor by giving u the exact language the perfect tool the precise framework which you can weaponize against me

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short animation i did for class

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honestly i think i just kinda wanna stop being alive

im tired

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am i not allowed to hate how i look because #selflove #bodypositivity and #everyoneisbeautiful ?

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no yeah i actually really like being ignored all the time it's genuinely such a wonderful experience now i'm gonna go die or something idk

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I love don hertzfeldt so much ;-;

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i actually hate eating now

i always feel bad after eating

and i feel so stupid for giving in to eating unnecessary things

like i feel like a pig that cant resist the slightest temptation of food

why did i eat a burger at 11pm

i didnt need that at all

and now i feel shitty and bloated

hate it

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there’s so much noise in my brain right now pure violent noise drowning out everything making me nauseous as hell i wanna throw up for 5 hours idk how im supposed to survive another week or until it gets better its not letting me do anything

i need to be lobotomized or electrocuted something

every moment awake is exhausting

its nauseating

i want to be gutted