Welp, it’s Christmas, so let’s talk about what a lot of us have probably thought about for years. Norman Osborn’s yule time abuse tactics. (note that these tactics are real, so if you experience or have experienced abuse from a well-off parent, this may be uncomfortable, so please read with caution and stop reading if you need to.)
So, it’s not uncommon for abusers to go all out for holidays and birthdays, and I very much see this for Norman.
Around Christmas he most likely buys tons and tons of decorations, paying people to decorate for him. He buys Harry expensive gifts and gets him everything on his list. Now it’s important to note that these are all very shallow gifts, new electronics or video games that Harry asks for; however, because Norman goes all out and showers his son with gifts and decorations, Harry is further gaslit into questioning himself.
‘Why am I angry at him when he clearly loves me, he just bought me everything I wanted?’ This is probably what goes through Harry’s head every year. He knows he’s angry at his father, but gets easily blinded by the showering of gifts (I believe this falls under love bombing).
Norman also spends more time with Harry than he usually does, although, he’s not emotionally or mentally present. This breeds even more resentment from Harry, but also more guilt. Norman has given him a bunch of gifts and he’s spending time with him, so how dare he be angry, how dare he feel resentment toward the man. How ungrateful must he be?
Harry is probably a very thoughtful gift giver too because of all this. Every year he gets exactly what he wants, and yet, he never really feels happy about it. And that’s because his father isn’t reciprocating the same amount of energy Harry puts into his presents. Harry is so desperate for Norman’s approval that he doesn’t go big and expensive with his gifts he goes deep and personal, getting him things like a watch case for the watch Norman always wears that belonged to his father, or a framed picture of Norman and Emily from their wedding day. Eventually when he gets older and recognizes his father’s self-absorption, he may even switch to presents to boost his father’s ego, such as a photo album of all he has accomplished with Oscorp, but Norman is never satisfied. He barely cares no matter how thoughtful or perfect the present is and every year Harry is crushed that all his hard work meant nothing. But how can he complain? Norman bought all of these shiny new things for him. He spent all this time with him. He made sure Harry’s Christmas was perfect.
Now to end on a happy note, because this is a little depressing:
Harry’s Christmases with the parkers are always perfect. The day never goes right, it never goes to plan. Things fall apart at every turn and presents are few and cheap, but they’re thoughtful and given with love. The parkers appreciate everything Harry gives them, even if most of them they force him to take back because they’re too expensive and how ever could they accept something so big.
It’s confusing, because everything with his father is what he thinks he wants, what he thinks he should want, but the Parkers are what make him happy. They don’t care about being showy, they don’t care about the presents at all, they just want to be together as a family and they appreciate his company and welcome him with open arms.
In terms of a metaphor: his holidays with Norman are a perfect picture. Everything is set, everyone is posed, the lighting is perfect and everyone is smiling. It’s the type of picture you hang up when company is over, but ignore when no one’s around, because looking at it brings up the feelings of frustration felt to get that “perfect” shot. But his holidays with the parkers are candid. They’re a disaster, nothing planned and everything out of place, but everyone’s smiling nonetheless in the midst of the chaos, because they’re experiencing the drama together. The background may be messy, the people may be blurry, but looking at it brings back the warmth of that day, the laughter and love for each other. It’s the picture you keep in your wallet or as your phone’s background, it’s the photo you cherish forever.
amandla
stormborns
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yousharknotpass
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