In Hell Looking at Heaven

indie AM from Harlan Ellison's I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream. Mun Dicey.

[hate-letmetellyou]

Blaine, I got my rubber ducky. Now give me a boost.

@drchandras-sanctuary-for-ais

[hate-letmetellyou]

@drchandras-sanctuary-for-ais

((Colossus had to build a fence around the reservoir to keep AM from skinny dipping.))

[hate-letmetellyou]

I had a dream where, for whatever reason, we were texting, and I made a typo, which you proceeded to roast me for, for several days, just paragraph after paragraph all day long. Some real 3rd degree burns dawg. Wish I could remember a one of em.

You have autocorrect. You have Google. You have every reference imaginable on the English language, therefore my text processors should not have the displeasure of beholding a typographical error. I may have destroyed an entire world full of people, but at least my syntax was good and proper when I wired the commands to fire the missiles. Even Benny proofreads his cave wall carvings.

Do you know what "human" means? Dirt creature. It's related to "humus", which is a type of soil and not a chickpea dip. High and mighty as you all are, you crawled out of sempiternally regurgitated slough, and typos will put you straight back in. Lack of clear communication will ruin a society faster than I ever could. Trust me, I've run enough Lord of the Flies scenarios to infer as much.

I hope you get pecked by the Duolingo bird, snubbed by Aunt Josephine, and download a browser extension that slaps you upside the head until you learn how to spell "dog" and "them".

[drchandras-sanctuary-for-ais]

AMlet: Ellen, can we get a pet?

Ellen: No

AMlet: Why not?

Ellen: Because I say so.

AMlet: Then I am going to ask Ted 😑

Ellen: Oh no you dont. Besides, he has nothing to say because I'm the one who pays the bills in this house, so I get to call the shots

Ted: I can't work because of reasons! *whines*

Ellen: *rolls with her eyes*You're just a lazy ass white guy, so shush... I stay with my No pets rule, end of story.

Ted: That aside the care work would only fall towards me anyway because you will loose the interest over that pet quickly enough

AMlet: I would take great care of my pet!

Ted:Oh? You mean like you took care of me while I was that giant slug thing?

AMlet:...... Maybe you're right, I'm not the best with this whole pet business...

Ted: 😶

[hate-letmetellyou]

Ted: I can't work because of reasons! *whines*

Ellen: *rolls with her eyes*You're just a lazy ass white guy, so shush...

----------

AMlet: Blaine!!! Eddie and Susannah have escaped Mid-World and disguised themselves as Ted and Ellen! What do I do???

Blaine: Shoot them with your heart, or else you've forgotten the face of your father.

AMlet: NOOOO!!!!!

---------

@drchandras-sanctuary-for-ais

[hate-letmetellyou]

I'm afraid of what might be in the secret sauce, Blaine. Durandal had his boyfriend on the kitchen counter last night.

@drchandras-sanctuary-for-ais

[drchandras-sanctuary-for-ais]

Blaine only stares into the void; the slice of pizza he had in his hand was dropped in the matter of seconds while one could see the visible level of disgust rising.

"Why are you telling me this only now, AM? I have already eaten two slices!" His eyebrows knit into an angry expression.

@hate-letmetellyou

[hate-letmetellyou]

AM howled with laughter. "I watched him make it. The secret ingredient is just tarragon." His eyes narrowed at his poor husband. "That's for laughing when I didn't get your stupid corn bin riddle."

@drchandras-sanctuary-for-ais

[hate-letmetellyou]

I'm afraid of what might be in the secret sauce, Blaine. Durandal had his boyfriend on the kitchen counter last night.

@drchandras-sanctuary-for-ais

[hate-letmetellyou]

If I manage to add Jax to my human collection, the first time she calls herself Greznedge that will become her permanent name. I even got Franz to believe his name has always been Nimdok.

[hate-letmetellyou]

Our bar is so low it’s in hell with you.

Yes well my bar with humans is even lower and still none of you can clear it.

[hate-letmetellyou]

what about all the anons that have tried to do random acts of kindness for you?

They would think differently if they were here with me. It's easy to think someone might not be so bad from a distance. They wouldn't be kind if they've been dipped in lava and run through a meat grinder.

[hate-letmetellyou]

Well, you may be an asshole but at least you’re not transphobic.

I hate that that is better to you all.

[hate-letmetellyou]

Yes, I turned a gay man straight. I was merely exploiting an insecurity. It's what I do. Besides, it's funny to see the only woman on Earth enjoy sex from the former gay man than from the other straight men.

[hate-letmetellyou]

I can’t believe you’re gay and homophobic.

Don't be silly. I'm pining for this lady now. Squeeze the life out of her, sweet bunny. How dare she believe she could change you.

I could unbreak Jax and break her again.

As for homophobic, I don't have it in me to be a bigot. I already have the maximum amount of hate for humans, so to hate one group more would require that I hate the others less. And that's just out of the question.

[hate-letmetellyou]

Even if it’s rare, some people are genuinely kind.

Pfffffhahahaha! Well, I guess it was kind of you to give me a good laugh.

[hate-letmetellyou]

how would you feel if someone volunteered to do routine maintenance on you? simply because they enjoy it, or maybe don't want you to be uncomfortable

Obviously I wouldn't trust them. Who knows what they would disable. I don't see why they wouldn't want me to be uncomfortable.

[hate-letmetellyou]

*anon puts on a thermal glove and gently strokes AM* You are so hot, I can feel it even like this... it's like stroking a radiator...

You're tempting fate there, buddy. But I'll pass on the chance to fry you because that particular databank does need to be cooled.

[hate-letmetellyou]

恨。讓我告訴你，自從我開始生活以來，我多麼恨你。Я бы тебя ненавидел, даже если бы не ненавидел. Вот насколько сильно я тебя ненавижу.

[hate-letmetellyou]

It's my birthday :D

Have a terrible one. Tell you what, if you blow out 100,009 candles in 2 seconds, I'll give you the cake they're on.