“I couldn’t be happier,” she crooned as her jagged nails cut into her palms
Okay I actually REALLY like this line. The defiance, while we’re shown, not told, how pissed she is about his douchebaggery; and the reminder about her broken nails even though she normally likes primping and pampering herself and probably gets regular manicures when she isn’t in a pit.
It’s fitting that this all takes place in a mine, because I feel like I’m really digging through dirt to find these tiny pockets of useful ore. Why can’t the author just be consistent and write like this all the time?
We’re told the average life expectancy is a month but she lasted a year, which, again, I don’t have a problem with; I know it’s unrealistic for her to survive a salt mine longer just because she’s a special protagonist or whatnot (it’d be one thing if she survived in the wild or in a gladiator arena because she was so badass; that might actually be realistic), but like I said, I don’t actually take issue with the wish fulfillment side of the fantasy. Sure, she can be special and survive ridiculously long.
“Quite a mystery, I’m sure.” She batted her eyelashes and readjusted her shackles as if they were silk gloves.
Again, I do actually like her here. Is it realistic for her to have so much spirit after a year in the mines? Idgaf, she’s giving a good account of herself against the shitty Prince.
Chaol and Prince Dorian do the thing where they talk about her again as if she isn’t there, and then Kale gets mad when she doesn’t use the proper title when talking to the Prince. He just gets amused, and then he comes out with this line:
“You do know that you’re now a slave, don’t you? Has your sentence taught you nothing?”
Does he genuinely think being sentenced to the mines is some kind of character growth opportunity? Like… if it doesn’t kill you, you learn humility/your proper place in society? What is this even implying???
I’m as into redemption arcs as the next person, but his had better be intense to justify how much of a wet turd he seems to be right now.
To her credit, Celaena points out that all you learn in a mine is how to use a pickaxe, which, yeah, one would think that’d be self-explanatory. We then get a story about Celaena’s escape attempt 8 months ago. She killed her overseer and 23 other people (nice), and came less than an inch away from the exit. Then we learn something unbelievably stupid.
“…how far do slaves make it from the mines when they try to escape?”
“Three feet,” he muttered. “Endovier sentries usually shoot down a man before he’s moved three feet.”
It turns out, the king of Adarlan ordered Celaena kept alive as long as possible, so that she could suffer longer.
THAT ORDER KILLED 24 PEOPLE!!!!!
Six guards every day, AND this?!?! Literally wtf. If you want to torture someone for a year, just do that! You’re a faux-medieval fantasy king; there’s no way you don’t have dungeons and a guy with a case full of shiny tools.
Im sure the king is a huge dickbag, and his son’s issues are all going to be his fault somehow; but this isn’t just being cruel; it’s being *stupid*. This is some Joffrey-level shit with the “I want to torment this teenage girl so I’ll make the dumbest possible decision over it.” I find it hard to believe his reign lasted as long as it did. Does everyone else in this universe just seriously suck at politics?
At the very least, this does actually explain why she survived so long. Unfortunately, while I'm glad she got an offscreen moment of badassery with the nice body count, we didn't actually see it happen; we were just told that it did. It doesn't count as seeing her do cool things on the page.
Anyway, Celaena tells them that her escape attempt was actually a suicide attempt, which, oof, but understandable. Prince Halberd gets this pitying look and this pisses her off, which, fair! Then we get this gem:
“Do you bear many scars?”…he smiled, forcing the mood to lift as he stepped from the dais. “Turn around, and let me view your back.”
Also, Celaena, what? "forcing the mood to lift" NO HE DIDN'T. You told him about your suicide attempt and he thinks he can just be like "ah, that's dark. Let's move on to lighter topics. Let me inspect your body like you're a racehorse. Can I see your teeth?"
And for some bizarre reason, Celaena actually does it, and he goes
"I can't make them out clearly through all this dirt," the prince said, inspecting what skin showed through the scraps of her shirt. She scowled, and scowled even more when he said, "And what a terrible stench, too!"
Look, darling. Paaaahhhhhverty!
Because I'm desperate to find some things to like about this book, I will say that it's nice that the hot female protagonist gets to be all gross and stinky in her intro. Normally that's reserved for men and women have to be pretty and smell like flowers at all times, even when it makes zero sense.
That said, Prince Doorknob has some serious groveling to do after his redemption.
"When one doesn't have access to a bath and perfume, I suppose one cannot smell as finely as you, Your Highness."
The Crown Prince clicked his tongue and circled her slowly.
I feel like she's contributing a lot to his worldly education, but it doesn't seem like he's actually taking any of it in. And, honestly, what a wasted opportunity. He could have actually been a really sympathetic character from the getgo if we'd seen this as a moment when his shitty privileged opinions collided with the reality of what his father - and his entire country - was making people suffer. We could have seen him struggling to put on his composed mask but looking around uneasily, maybe feigning callousness with Celaena but refusing to meet her eyes, something like that. Wanting to look away but being forced to confront it, and then leaving all troubled, deep in thought, and maybe taking the opportunity to go out of his way to be kind to Celaena, giving her a proper bath and whatnot. Which could also move their love story forward, since he was spending extra time with her trying to redeem himself more, and she probably had all sorts of thoughts on what he could do with his position and power to make things better for everyone she'd seen suffering.
But, nah, he sees all this and his reaction isn't "Holy hell, what are we doing to people?!" it's "Ew, stinky."
It's realistic, sadly. But it isn't very likeable.
In less than a second, she could get her arms over the prince's head and have her shackles crushing his windpipe.
It might be worth it just to see the expression on Chaol's face.
No, it might be worth it SO YOU CAN ESCAPE, you dingus!!!! A prince is one of the most valuable hostages you can get, and one just walked right up to you! Get your shackles around his throat, threaten to kill him if they don't all lower their weapons and escort you out of the mines, maybe demand a fast horse and some provisions and winter clothes, and tell them maybe you'll drop him off once you get to some border or convenient forest if you're feeling generous. Seriously.
I feel like I need to save this as a reaction image for how much I'm going to be using it throughout this book.
But the prince went on, oblivious to how dangerously close he stood to her. Perhaps she should be insulted.
No, you should just recognize that he's an idiot. Like you and Chaol salad and everyone else in here.
"From what I can see," he said, "there are three large scars--and perhaps some smaller ones. Not as awful as I expected, but... well, the dresses can cover it, I suppose."
Oh, dread! Is this former slave not pretty enough for you?
"Dresses?" He was standing so near that she could see the fine thread detail on his jacket, and smelled not perfume, but horses and iron.
The dialogue tag makes it sound like he's the one wondering what he himself meant when he mentioned dresses. Pro tip - if you're going to write something like that, just put a line break between the quote and the description. Less confusion that way.
Also, someone who smells like horses when he has full access to baths has absolutely zero right to judge others for being stinky.
I get that this is supposed to be some kind of comment on how he isn't a pampered prince but actually does, idk, work or whatever; but given he wears a ceremonial sword and probably had to ride to get here, I don't think this is actually any evidence of that.
Dorian grinned. "What remarkable eyes you have! And how angry you are!"
Coming within strangling distance of the Crown Prince of Adarlan, son of the man who sentenced her to a slow, miserable death, her self-control balanced on a fragile edge--dancing along a cliff.
Literally just grab him. What do you even have to lose?
Her on-page behavior contrasts so STUPIDLY much with everything we hear about her that allegedly happened off-page. She's a famous assassin, the best of the best, she killed 24 people in a day, but, nah, THIS is what she balks at, killing a guy who's done nothing but insult her and offered her zero reason to even keep him alive. Because she knows his name and he's kind of pretty, I guess.
Honestly even if she'd given her curiosity about the dresses/what the prince wants from her as a reason she's holding off on killing him, that would have made a tiny bit of sense. It would have been fine. But, no, we don’t get any of that yet. No sensible thoughts, just an empty lil pumpkin stuck on her neck.
"Watch your mouth before I throw you back in the mines," the brown-eyed captain said.
"Oh, I don't think you'd do that."
Okay, so now we get the conversation where she's like "Yeah, y'all clearly want something from me, and it's pooooossible it somehow leads to an escape, which is why I'm not going to take my revenge on the king by killing his son." Which (a) should have happened sooner when she first thought about killing him, instead of waiting for paragraphs and paragraphs; and (b) is STILL STUPID, because maybe the prince just wanted to come see the famous assassin in person. And now he's going to leave and you're not going to escape. Whereas you could have escaped FOR SURE if you'd just TAKEN HIM HOSTAGE like pretty much ANY OTHER PRISONER would have done!!!!
Anyway, the prince says he has a proposition for her.
But perhaps his proposition could lead to escape.
You're throwing away a certainty of escape on 'perhaps'?
If she got beyond the wall, she could make it. Run and run and disappear into the mountains and live in solitude in the dark green of the wild, with a pine-needle carpet and a blanket of stars overhead.
It's an interesting dream, and sounds pretty enough; it would be nice to hear more about it and why she wants that, but I'm not getting my hopes up.
She could do it. She just needed to clear the wall. She had come so close before...
"I'm listening," was all she said.
Not a terrible chapter hook, but kind of a terrible chapter.
