Leave your body at the door

Dolls and random stuff

[havraniko]

This was in drafts for slightly more than a year.

And it was meant as a follow-up for one of the older posts.

07/07/2025

I had an unpainted faceplate of 10,000 escape plans red goat. I’d been planning to modify it for quite a while — unlike the painted version, this one had human ears instead of fantasy ones. I modified her ears using modeling epoxy I bought on aliexpress last year to fix holes on a BJD face.

(About that. Later I decided it’d be better just to sand those spots down. The resin would change color eventually (it already did) and those epoxy patches would become too noticeable.)

Besides the ears, I also modified the eyes on the faceplate.

The eyes in this photo are so asymmetrical, it hurts to look at them. The good thing is that the photo is 3 months old, so they became more symmetrical. I hope.

Then came the problem of painting. I understood that the best way to do it would be with an airbrush. But I was hesitant. It’s a complex and expensive tool, and buying one just for this felt irresponsible. Besides, it looked scary for me because of the compressor.

(Yes, I know it sounds silly, but loud electric tools scare me. The noisier, the scarier.)

Eventually, I got a simple airbrush meant for makeup and nail art. A couple of months passed before I finally gathered the courage to try it. And, honestly, I actually enjoyed the process.

I only had one small bottle of red paint — and of course I couldn’t stop at just the faceplate. So the unpainted hair of the electronic cute pets leopard and their shoes became victims too.

As for the goat, I need to do her faceup. And a wig. I planned to make eyes as well, but the first experience upsets me. Painting by hand in this size is a torture. And digital painting... Well, I tried designing some eyes to print, eventually printed them after months of attempting to make an attempt to design them, but got all the sizes slightly wrong. And, besides, got disappointed in the 'printout + glass lens' method. Not pretty enough.

The photo above is before dyeing, and it's the only one showing the eyes that I tried to make (hand-painted). To show the idea.

[havraniko]

Took him for a walk yesterday.

Last week I visited a part of the city that is full of plants, and saw whole seas of feather grass. I like this plant; it's beautiful and tranquil, though extremely itchy if touched. I thought it would be great to put some of my plastic army into those clusters for a few photos.

Unfortunately, I live near downtown, and every trace of the green and living is being terminated the moment it slightly exceeds a couple of centimeters. So, finding any surviving piece of nature is tricky. All the feather grass I could find within a 1-hour walking distance of my home was either mown or burned down by the sun.

So, I didn't find any green feather grass—not even a tuft. But at least I found this bindweed on the outskirts of the city center, by the railways. I like this place, it always seems abandoned (but it’s not, really). The railway separates the city center from the old industrial part of the city. I like that part. It’s also dusty, but at least it's authentic and feels like a ghost town, despite the noisy highway that splits it in two.

[havraniko]

Long time no BJDs. I missed them, so I took Unoa out of the bookcase. Still not sure what this face represents for me. At this moment, it's probably a weeping ghost.

[havraniko]

Sunset prince

[havraniko]

I didn't have much hope for that, but we saved my Pixel. I stayed up until 4 am copying photos to my hdd, but they're safe now. Unbelievable. It hasn't even been a week—most people have this problem since March.

I like my Pixel, despite all its flaws. But I can't trust it.

Best way to describe a Pixel user is "the mice cried and got pricked, but kept chewing on the cactus".

It would be smarter to get a new phone before this one pulls another stunt.

[havraniko]

Last week I wrote a couple of lines on the subject 'I hate modern life' and then got distracted by work. I don't remember what exactly triggered that thought. But on Friday I remembered it again when I received an unexpected update on my Pixel 8. I thought that it was slightly weird, because the latest update was just a couple of weeks ago, but clicked the update button anyway. When my phone started rebooting for the second time I understood immediately that I was screwed. Bootloop. I started googling and found that this problem is not new. There seems to be a solution by wiping the device to defaults. That's great and all, but I have over 13,000 photos here. At least 3 trips, doll photos, local events. We tried to save my phone for 2 days, but the android security became so strong nowadays that you literally can't do anything to extract your own data. Don't see how that's any better than iOS now. And that's surely not because they're so concerned about user's data safety. Those companies don't give a damn about their customers. I'm so sick of all this capitalistic totalitarism and that people are okay with that. Every photo is important to me. That's my memory. If I don't remember something, I can look through the photos and find that moment there. Or something that would push me to the right memory. I have a habit of looking at my photos once in a while. Maybe that's why I can  reproduce the view from the window of a Paris apartment with many rooves upfront and the silhouette of Sacré-Cœur in the distance, wet gondolas in the dusk, the setting in the tea station in Nara (but I can't remember how those damn torches look, whether they hang on the walls or if it's just the photos of torches).  Surely, partly, it’s my own fault. I should've made backups since that one in the January of 2025. But main culprit is still Google. Go hire some QA and pay them to test your phones. Don't make people pay for your experiments. And it wouldn't be such a tragedy if phones still had external memory cards; it would be a loss of time and money, but I could just take MicroSD out and upload the photos to PC, like I did when my Mi A1 died after 7 years of service. I'm so desperate. Every time when I'm alone with my thoughts, I can't cope with it. I want to cry. Losing my photos feels like someone died. And that someone is me. Currently, I have to use 8-year-old phone. It still works fine, while Pixel 8 failed me twice (in major ways) in two years. The previous time was last year, when I got the green screen of death problem. But thanks to my investigative skills, I managed to google (oh, how this word triggers me now) the solution and explain to the guy at the repair shop exactly what to do (even though he had never dealt with it before), and credit to him for agreeing to do the job instead of just charging me for a new screen.

[havraniko]

Found it in drafts. March, 25.

[havraniko]

Two months ago I finished reading Memnoch the Devil. I had been trying to beat it for a year or two (to my shame, I don't read books too often now). The reason was Lestat and his obsession with a mortal woman, along with some disgusting details about it. Then I broke through that part and finished the book almost instantly. But I was deeply shocked by the description of the 4th crusade. The crusades themselves are a pretty dark chapter in history, but this... ruining the city of their fellow believers, raping, murdering, and robbing them. And all of it in the name of God. (In the name of money, actually, but God was their cover story). I felt sick. I couldn’t believe it.

Then I started reading The Vampire Armand, but almost instantly dropped it because I didn't have a spare second either at work, or after. Now I pick up where I stopped. For a dozen pages I was like, 'a vampire BL, at last!' mixed with a 'chotto matte, how old is he?'. And then it started again—history. I was okay when Venetians praised Botticelli, a Florentine artist. But then she gives a scene where they speak of 4th crusade as if it's just happened (it took place in 1202-1204). And I was like… um, but you speak of Botticelli (end of 15th century), describe Marius art style exactly like the Renaissance, and he uses oil to paint (which wasn't really used until the 15th century)?... And then she mentions the Kievan Rus' past of Amadeo. Because of the names, the timeframe described turns out to be very narrow—30s and 40s of the 13th century. And that was it. I had a blue screen of death for a moment and had to take time to process it.

Explained to myself, that she made that historical hodgepodge on purpose for the sake of the story beauty and dramatic tension.

Took a breath, started reading again. And here’s Armand talking about his home country. And I'm like, how can an American describe what it's like to be here so precise? And then I thought that this country, this land, was like that forever.

“I heard ad nauseam of that old glory,” I said quietly, not wanting to anger him. “I was stuffed with tales of the olden times when I was a boy. <…> There was nothing but depravity there, and we speak now, as you know, of an immense land.”

Getting upset over real human history is not exactly what I expected from a vampire fiction.

[havraniko]

Hide if you want to hide

Wherever you hide I'll find you

Hide if you want to hide

I will be right behind you

[havraniko]

A while ago my redbook (xiaohongshu) feed was for some reason flooded with L'arte della gioia, The art of joy (screenshots, short videos and fan arts). I fell for it and watched it at the beginning of January. Can't say that I liked it, but was definitely impressed.

The reason I'm talking about it now is that it suddenly gave a name to one of my dolls - Maudith, which means 'cursed' in French. I think it suits her.

It's actually 'Maudit', but Maudith sounds better because the 't' at the end is readable.

This name is probably too pompous for a blind box doll, but what can I do if it's already stuck to her. She's one of my favourites after all (and Vampire, too).

After some thought, I found the irony in this - I gave Modesta's nickname to a nun (well, at least she has the hair of the limited Nissa nun).

[havraniko]

My partner has been playing Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 for the whole month. At first, I couldn't understand why he chose to play this dull, stinky medieval life simulator (it didn't even have magic!). Then I started watching it as some kind of movie. The game is great, after all — the historical context, the characters, that bloody tavern tune that has been stuck in my head for a week now. As a fujoshi in the past, I started shipping Jan (Hans in the English localization) and Jindra (Henry) almost immediately. How could I not? Jan is so… well, stereotypically submissive-looking. Even his name kind of adds to the impression (Jan Ptacek — literally 'little bird'). After my partner finished the game, he told me that there was an option to have a Jan-Jindra relationship in the game. I was blown away. I even found that scene on YouTube. So cute. I'm sort of overwhelmed now and even feel the urge to write a fic (I've never written one before).

[havraniko]

Apparently forgot to post those. One of the rare days when I was home in daylight.

I like how photos come out with these lenses (old Helios). But since they’re manual, it’s hard for me to keep things in focus - I can’t tell when something is out of focus, neither through the viewfinder nor on the camera display.

(The second photo is blurry on purpose).

[havraniko]

Spring is coming, time for bears to wake up

[havraniko]

I'll be home very late tonight (going to the dentist, very scary), so I had to grab some food at work before leaving (being hungry is very bad for my stomach). I wanted to get some pastry and cacao, but my gaze fell on promotions and the 'matcha latte' in it. Got it without much thinking (being in public places stresses me out and makes me impulsive).

It tastes so good, I'm surprised. I was almost sure it would be repulsive because usually people say so about matcha lattes (it's my first matcha latte). The smell, though, is repulsive.

It feels so good inside (unlike coffee), very comforting. I like coffee, but 50% of the time it makes me slightly suffer.

This taste reminded me so much of Japan. So here is a pic of my first (and only) real cup of matcha after visiting Gotokuji (Maneki neko temple) during my autumn trip to Japan last year.

[havraniko]

In December I purchased UF73 on Tao, meaning its body for Datura (Dollshe Hound), who's still without his own body.

There are very few bodies that I find fitting for Datura. DSAM would be perfect, but no one is selling it here. I should probably make a WTB post (never worked for me).

I thought that UF73 should be ok, but when I opened the box I was shocked how huge he is (apparently I have a serious problem mapping measurements to reality). Here's a comparison with Dante (Dollshe Saint on Rhythmos). I didn't even try to put Datura on this thing (actually, I made an attempt, but the string tension is so strong, it's impossible for me).

To make things worse, I have one more UF73 ordered... But I ordered him through a dealer (because their shop looks way more user-friendly than the mess in official Ufdoll shop), and he's not been shipped yet. I wanted to compare normal and white skintone to see what matches better.

Put him back in a box and listed it for sale. I thought he would be bought right away, but he's still here almost two weeks later. Looking at photos I think that he is not even that huge. But he is.

And I don't like the plastic he's made of. I thought he would feel like Ufdolls 1/5 and 1/6, but he's clinky and creaky and feels very fragile, though people say big ABS dolls are as sturdy as 1/12 ones.

But considering all the said things, I still reluctant to sell him because... I'm a collector? A hoarder? Dunno.

I like his hands. Reminds of Doll chateau.

Maybe he's not that bad if you never touched resin BJDs. And if you're not scared of his size like me. He looks nice in photos, definitely will look better in clothes. And he's very lightweight, weighs way less than any of my 1/3.

Just not my thing. Resin feels a lot better.

[havraniko]

A while ago I was very stressed because of my job and life in general. And when I'm stressed, I go shopping (online). I know it's very wrong, but can't help it.

Here are some results of that shopping—Hirono backpack of the Echo series, which, I thought, should suit 1/6, but I was wrong about sizes (as if for the first time, duh), and Hirono plushie of the Road Journal series. Both were bought as sealed blind boxes. I liked 3/6 plushies in this series, and by Murphy's law, I got one of the other half, the one I liked the least. He's City Dust Afloat. Well, he's cute anyway. He's a little bit smaller than the limited Hirono I bought last year, and his design is slightly different. This one has movable arms, whereas Hirono Living Wild has some kind of a skeleton.

(Road Journal Hirono can't stand on his own, he leans on a hair clip)

Ah, stupid thing about Living Wild. Now it can be bought normally from the official shop, and for 30% cheaper than what I paid.

Yesterday I received another parcel that was supposed to be one more Hirono plushie, but they sent me two magnets instead. Well, some kind of scam was to be expected, because this seller was listing him for 30% less than everyone else and had zero reviews.

(╮°-°)╮┳━━┳ ( ╯°□°)╯ ┻━━┻

[havraniko]

Don't forget to close the door~