bridges burned (not beyond repair)
janaff family drabble, put under a cut because it’s long. this was going to be his new interview, but I decided to save it. cw for strong language and family infighting.
wc - 674
“You can’t be serious.”
Janaff froze, feathers standing on end with surprise. His sister’s sharp voice behind him snapped him from his current task, just as she’d intended. “You just got home, and now you’re going back.” He turned around to face Sikir, hands raised to his shoulders in surrender.
“They asked me to go back. Wasn’t my choice.”
“They asked you to go back before. You said no. Why can’t you say no now?” Sikir leaned her weight on one leg, letting her dark hair fall over one shoulder.
“It was different before. They’re short on teachers-”
“Bullshit.” Sikir shook her head. “You’re running back there again. I want an explanation.” Janaff turned back to his bag, stuffing another tunic inside.
“Look, I’m an adult now. You don’t have to do the whole big sister act anymore. You’re free! Leave me alone!”
“This isn’t about me,” she snapped back. “This is about Evre. She needs you, Janaff.”
“She’s her own person by now. She’s not a fledgeling anymore. Doesn’t she have friends?” His tone was bitter now, soured by the low blow.
“She wants her brother. I understand you leaving for the war, at least be with us in peace.”
“There isn’t peace there, Sikir! I’ve got friends still trapped in the thick of it, and I-”
“And it is not your fucking war. You fought your war. We all fought our war. We fought and died and you killed for what? More of it? Don’t tell me you miss that.”
“That’s not what I said.”
“Do you want your glory, Janaff? Do you want your fucking glory? Go out and get it, and don’t come back until you do. Don’t mind us, we’ll be fine,” she snarled. “We’ll just wait for you until the end of time, because that’s what we do - we wait for you to come home and pray to the goddess above you do!”
“I don’t want any glory!” He turned back to face her, voice rising to match hers. “I’m not going because I like it! I don’t care about all that, I just want my friends to be safe-”
“You don’t even believe yourself.” The accusation stung like she was pressing nettles to him, but nettles only stung what was exposed, what was raw, what was true. “You fought in two wars and didn’t get any recognition for it. Now you want more.”
“That’s not true, if you’d let me fucking talk-”
“A war against a king, a goddess even, and nothing waiting at home for you except the endless love of your only family left-”
“Would you stop that?!” Janaff’s voice was a shrill wail, infallible sight blurred over. “I don’t want to kill anymore, how dare you say I do!”
“You haven’t given another reason to leave.”
“Yeah, maybe I want my moment, maybe I want some fucking recognition, but who wouldn’t? I survived it, Sikir! I survived it all!”
You don’t know how lucky I am to be standing here. I saw a million deaths. I counted a hundred lives.
He wanted to run. He didn’t owe her a debate, but he found himself rooted to the spot, the vicious thorny chains from her words holding him down. “I just want to fix what’s wrong.” His voice was choked, miserable.
“It isn’t your problem to fix. What you should be fixing is this.” Sikir gestured in front of her, pointing to the both of them. “I don’t want to live with a soldier. I want my brother back, Janaff.”
“You won’t have to live with a soldier,” he mumbled. “I’m going back tomorrow.”
I need answers. I need something besides the forest. I need to live.
“I wish I understood why.” She didn’t wait for the silence to grow any more pointed, instead turned and marched back out of the room. Janaff waited a few breaths before slinking to the open window and sliding through. His wings opened before his feet hit the ground and he flapped upwards, racing up towards the sky.














