All the feels and everything hurts @hawkswildfireheart - Tumblr Blog

As the oldest sibling, a stange new role I did not see coming for myself is “the person who knew and remembers”

More and more often I’m in a situation with my siblings where I’ll be like “What’s going on right now in the family makes sense because of what happened back then” and my siblings (the middle child is only two years younger than me btw) have no idea what I’m talking about and my little snippet of information suddenly change their whole worldview.

I wasn’t burdened with other people’s trauma and secrets, but I realize now that two years made all the difference even in our teenage years and I was just more aware and the adults talked to me and told me things and perhaps didn’t think to tell the others because they “already did it” or something?

And the crazy thing is, I don’t even know what history, knowledge and secrets I’m carrying around that would be complete news to the others. I feel like rattling off family history facts at the dinner table would be a bit tactless.

#fr tho #it's a very weird place to be in #but I'm like 8 yrs older than the middle sis and 13 yrs older than the youngest #so it's really had to know what family lore they know or don't #or even that's there's just so much about our parents that they never got to experience cause I was an only child for so long #even just our brother #he's just a concept to them #they weren't there for the grief or anything when he was stillborn #I grew up real fast then #and my sisters weren't even around yet

I don't mind religion. But it's something personal, not something that needs to be forced onto someone else, let alone have a discussion about it be forced onto someone.

It especially has no place at a medical appointment unless it pertains to your beliefs specifying what kind of medical care you can receive for yourself.

Stop trying to shove down my throat that you think I need to "read the Bible" when I'm just trying to take images of your brain. Stop pushing it just because I "have tattoos on" so of course I need to hear your truth about your god when I'm trying to give you discharge instructions and tell you about how long for your exam results. I am at work. It's neither the time, nor the place, nor do I even remotely want to engage with this. Should only need one polite refusal and then drop it. But no. Just leave me alone ffs

#gods forbid a girl not be religious #and not want to discuss it while IM AT WORK #I have enough issues with the church and pushy religious people as it is #just leave me alone #aub's thoughts #work rant #it was as bad as the couple that prayed over me while I was stocking dairy coolers at target #cause they saw me limping and of course decided I needed to be prayed over and have their hands on me while they did so #like wtf #don't touch me #I'm working

little-miss-rasputin-pageant

having chronic pain is just like. ur sitting perfectly still doing nothing meanwhile the space above your head keeps flashing -1hp -1hp -1hp -1hp -1hp -1hp -1hp -1hp -1hp -1hp

#true dat

yms1

what doesn't kill you makes you stay on tumblr for 13 years and counting

#true dat

maureen2musings

Forest walks

foresttales.bycarolin

#pretty

maureen2musings

212._.film

#cats #almost looks like cigarette

wifegideonnav

“bits to use in everyday conversations”

#omg

spookyboywhump

I do really love it when women write graphic and fucked up things. I feel like so often people react to fucked up fiction with “of course a disgusting man would write this 🙄” and it often carries an unspoken (honestly sometimes spoken) message of “a woman’s PURE and DELICATE and FEMININE mind could NEVER think of something this VILE”. Thank you women in fucked up fiction 🫡

#yes #gimme more

i-am-a-fish

don't be mean to yourself that's you

you live there

#true dat #but also cause I usually don't have much to give for an update #it's always stuff about my sisters' lives #cause I'm a hermit and have the barest social life outside work or my immediate family

thememedaddy

#true dat

i-am-a-fish

there is nothing badass about not taking an ibuprofen when you need it

#someone tell my brain that about my migraine meds #or for the aleve for my joint pain #only thing I'm actually at taking proactively is my antihistamines for the hives #cause that's more miserable than the migraines tbh #which is really saying something #worse yet that I figured out while trying to wean off my oral antihistamines that my migraines got worse #and that when I had to backtrack on my dosing (almost entirely) my migraines got better #gonna be a fun allergist visit this summer

dragongirlbunny

weed gummies are such a fake sounding concept like yeah if you eat this piece of candy and wait an hour you'll suddenly become very easily entertained and airheaded and cuddly

somethingsomethingwizard

willy wonka creation

#but it's so fun #edibles

thememedaddy

#between replacing door hinges on the jeep #hole in the front end of my exhaust #panel had self welded and broke when they went to flush my transmission line #nvm the new battery too #and that's just the jeep #not to mention the fucked up nav and broken AC in mom's car that's only a year old #or having to replace my sister's car entirely just to have her drive it into the ravine a week later (her/car totally fine)

dearearlyarchaeologists

People don’t talk enough about how easy it is to sleep in the dirt.

Like at a certain point on a dig day you BECOME THE DIRT.

And then comfy lil cozy crevices where you just dug start ~calling your name~

dearearlyarchaeologists

This is my favorite corner of the internet:

BONUS:

archaeologistproblems

Okay but consider: -Very soft (no rocks at all, just buttery smooth, sifted, light, and fluffy soil -Pesky rocks are on the other side of the dirt pile. Don’t even worry about them. -Usually cool to the touch, even on a hot day -You can just sink into it. Like a snow angel. But dirt. Bliss.

chaotic-archaeologist

Plus, dirt smells really nice. Nothing like a bed of good silty loam...

#ok ok #I know this post is mostly about archaeology #but my bil does excavating and field drainage #and given how much dirt he's covered in when he comes home #I wouldn't be surprised if he took dirt naps at work

vetchtibbles

I wish they made it even marginally possible to get a job like I’m so fucking sorry I don’t have a rare but also highly demanded skillset, an agreeable disposition, and the ability to survive off of three nickels a week I’m soooo sorry

#literally what my baby sis is going thru rn trying to find a summer job while she's home from college #so far she's only been successful with shipt #but she's only mad enough from that to break even on gas

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All the feels and everything hurts