Warnings: Hospital, minor injury, medical inaccuracies, very brief mention of panic attack, improper interpretation of BO lyrics AND smut (yay!)
AN: Hiiiiii everyone! Thank you all so much for your love on part 1 and 2 of this fic. I’m SO sorry for making it so sad and full of angst, but, I’m hoping this part helps to heal a little bit of your hearts.♥️
There is a little more I feel I could write in this story, so I might do a final part 4 if I think it’s needed to wrap up some bits, I just didn’t want this part to be too long. Also I apologise for any mistakes I was super tired when finally posting this! Anyway, enjoy and I love you all so much! P.S. special thanks to my bestie @idwtmoney for encouraging and supporting me with this fic♥️
Taglist: @takeme1st @idwtmoney
It had been 2 years since you had last seen Noah in person, that day in your apartment when you ended things for good. You were a little more settled now. You had a steady job and your routine consisted of work, gym, reality TV to try and fill the void in you, and then you went to bed.
You hadn't dated. There have been a handful of one night stands, trying to satiate the loneliness you felt - even if just for a few hours late at night. You couldn't help but laugh to yourself each time, thinking of Anna, of all people "I try stick to no strings attached now".
The irony wasn't lost on you. A few guys have approached you over the years, including the overly friendly new hire at work, Luke. God he wouldn't leave you alone, but you were not interested.
Your Tuesday morning started like every other week day. You woke up at 6:30, moped around in your pyjamas, making sure to fit in your mandatory 20 minutes of TikTok scrolling before forcing yourself to take a shower.
As you were getting dressed for work, you found yourself thinking about Noah. It was the first time you had properly allowed yourself to think about him without shutting your thoughts down immediately.
You wondered what he was doing right now. If he was here in LA, he'd probably be on a run right now. You hadn't kept up with the bands schedule after you muted their socials. It was too painful seeing his face appear on your screen with no warning. Doing your best to shove the thoughts of your ex from your mind, you picked up your jewellery from your bedside, grabbed your bag and headed out the door.
Something about today just felt off. You couldn't put your finger on it, maybe you were due your period.
"Yeah, it's probably just that" you said, trying, unconvincingly to reassure yourself. You were walking towards your desk when you stopped in your tracks, trying to listen closer to a song you heard playing in the main office, your breathing increased as your fear was confirmed. "Just Pretend" was echoing through the room. Your manager, Daisy, who you had become good friends with, quickly spotted you and immediately turned the radio off. "Sorry" she mouthed and gave you a sympathetic look. You swatted your hand in front of you as if to say don't worry about it and continued to your desk. It had been years, but you still couldn't listen to any of Noah's songs.
With a heavy sigh you sat down and opened your laptop, clicking on your emails first.
Luke: Hey...... so, I could really use your help with a design for a client. Can we talk it through over lunch today?
You placed your head in your hands and groaned, he wasn't getting the hint. You felt bad, Luke was still relatively new, but he just wouldn't leave you alone. He could ask your colleagues for help, but he always asked you. You had been working this job for a little over a year and a half. Working as a graphic designer for a small alternative music label, but you helped with a mixture of things including social media, merch and web design. The company was relatively new when you joined, you wanted a change after things ended with Noah, a clean slate all round and so you quickly became an integral part of the team.
You jumped as Luke popped seemed to appear from nowhere.
"Morning! How're you? Did you happen to get my email?" He said smiling.
"Hi Luke, uh yeah just opened it actually. I can't do lunch today, I'm sorry, I have an appointment I can't get out of" you lied "but I'm happy to help, I'll pop round to your desk in 5 minutes? Just going to grab a coffee first"
"'ll get you a coffee! Little bit of milk right? No sugar?" He was so energetic in the morning, and you were not a morning person but you forced a smile "Yes, perfect. Thank you".
Luke disappeared as he headed to the staff kitchen.
Your fake smile faded as you gathered your things and headed over to his desk. Luke wasn't a bad guy, in fact, he was really nice. Always asking how you were, how your day was going, normal office conversation, until he only seemed to ask you. You noticed he started taking his breaks at the same time as you and he conveniently just bought a year's membership to the same gym. He was an attractive man, you could admit that. He was quite tall - not as tall as Noah - his hair was a light, ashy brown colour, always cut perfectly and his eyes were a mix of a light blue and an olive green.
But you were not interested. He wasn't Noah.
Luke returned to his desk with two coffees in his hand.
He popped them onto his desk and unloaded his pockets, a banana, a protein bar, a couple of oatcakes and a small bag of trail mix.
"I wasn't sure if you had eaten, so I raided the cupboards and brought a selection"
That was sweet you thought to yourself, to your surprise.
"Oh, thank you" you smiled back at him and picked up the protein bar as you had a sip of your coffee. Your coffee that was made perfectly, just how you liked it and for a fleeting second you were aware of how nice it felt having someone do something nice for you. Get a grip. You shook your head gently, thinking to yourself.
You spent close to an hour helping Luke with his design until you were both happy with it.
"Thank you so much for your help with this. I'll send it to my client this afternoon for their approval." Luke said with a wide grin as he stretched his arms above his head, sounding genuinely grateful.
"Honestly it's no trouble at all. Thank you for the coffee and snacks, you know how to bribe me" you nudged your shoulder into his. You both smiled and you were suddenly aware of the silence.
"Can I, can-urgh, sorry. Would you like to go dinner with me sometime? Tomorrow? If that works? Or the following day? Or nex, Sorry, I'll shut up."
Luke was flustered, his cheeks changed to a light shade of pink as he rubbed his hand across the back of his neck.
You didn't know what to do, and that scared you. Up until this point you were so certain that you were not interested in any other potential romantic relationships, and you didn't think of Luke that way, did you? Up until this morning you found him to be a little full on and intense "or are you just telling yourself that because you're scared of getting hurt again?" Your brain unhelpfully narrated for you.
You realised you were standing in front of Luke, in your own head, not saying a word. Quickly composing yourself you found his eyes.
"Ok, yes. How about tonight?"
You were sitting at your vanity, staring at yourself in the mirror as you tried to get ready for your dinner with Luke. Why did you say yes? And why did you say tonight?! Was this a date? Do you want it to be a date?
You couldn't shake the uneasy feeling of guilt, a mixture of potentially leading Luke on, and as much as you hated to admit it, a feeling of leaving Noah fully in the past.
You looked at your reflection, your hand running over the fine silver chain that hung from your neck. Your fingers stopped at the bottom.
Permanently looped around your neck, resting on your chest was the engagement ring from Noah. The ring had sat in your bedside drawer for a grand total of 2 months until one night, after a particularly lonely day filled with alcohol and many tears from re-reading Noah's letter over and over, you opened the box. You knew it was strange, wearing the engagement ring your ex-boyfriend posted to you years ago, but it felt right.
You could never sell it, and rather than it never seeing the light of day, you convinced yourself that because it was on a necklace, it was fine. Right?
You were abruptly pulled from your thoughts and jumped slightly as your phone started to ring.
This was the third time today your phone was ringing.
Presuming it was a scam, you ignored the first two but now weird equally curious and a little worried. You slid your finger across your screen, answering the call.
You: "Hello? Who's calling?"
Answering with your name and questioned them.
Unknown caller: "Oh hello, thank you for picking up. We've been trying to reach you all day."
You picked at your fingernails as they continued.
Unknown caller: "My name is Dr Burrow, I'm a consultant at the LA emergency department. I'm calling because you're noted as the next of kin for one of my patients, Noah Davis?"
Emergency department? Noah? Your breath caught as you heard his name out loud for the first time in years as your ears started ringing.
You: "What? What about Noah? What's happe-"
You paused for a second, feeling your chest tighten, your palms were clammy, you could feel yourself starting to have a panic attack.
Dr Burrow: "Unfortunately, Noah was in an accident this morning. Thankfully, he hasn't sustained any major trauma. However, he has had a nasty concussion. He's is improving, but it will take around 2-4 weeks until he's fully back to normal and able to resume his everyday activities."
An accident?! What kind of accident. So many questions swirled in your head but all you could ask was;
You: "Does... does Noah know that you've called me?"
You asked with hesitation in your voice
Dr Burrow: "I told him we should contact his next of kin and he consented. Noah is in ward 32, room 14. Visiting hours end for the day in.... Uh just under an hour."
An hour? You held your wrist up to check the time on your watch
You: "Thank you for calling."
You ended the call and before you could even think about what you were doing, you threw your handbag over your shoulder and headed out the door.
You were on autopilot, your legs trying to keep up with your feet that were begging to run, trying to make up for time that was lost at every single red light on the way here. You frantically made your way through the long corridors of the hospital until you found ward 32, and then room 14.
Your mouth fell open as you looked through the glass, there he was. Noah, after 2 years. 2 years of watching him through a screen. 2 years spent trying to convince yourself you didn't miss him. He was sleeping, propped up slightly by a bulky, uncomfortable looking pillow. He had a large bruise on his forehead that spread across his left eye, and a stitched up cut on his cheek. You noticed his hair was slightly longer, you wondered if he was growing it out again.
You felt tears prick at your eyes as you fought hard not to cry. You walked to the door, your fingers grasped around the handle. "What am I doing here?" You thought to yourself. The confusion was back, the doubt, the worry. What if he doesn't want you here?
What if he just forgot to change his details? What if he has someone new?
The last thought made your stomach flip. Completely overwhelmed, you removed your fingers from the handle and began to back away. Gripping onto your handbag for some sort of support.
"Ah they managed to track you down" a nurse said to you as she walked passed, quiety opening the door to room 14.
"He hasn't stopped asking for you since he got here, are you coming in? He'll be awake soon, he's been out most of the afternoon."
You furrowed your brows, still frozen outside of the room. "He has been asking for me?"
The nurse checked his chart, writing something down, she looked up at you.
"Pretty much the only thing he's been saying, had a nasty bump to the head, but he's getting there. I'm sure he'll be happy to see you."
You were still standing in the hallway, deciding whether or not to go into the room. The sight of Noah in a hospital bed was too much to bare and you knew if you stepped through that doorway, you wouldn't be able to walk away from him again. The nurse finished her checks and pulled you from your thoughts.
"And he's back in the room! Your vitals are all stable Noah. There's someone here to see you, I'll leave you to it."
Your feet slowly carried you until you were now fully in the room. The nurse walked past you and closed the door behind her with a gentle click. Tick, Tick Tick. The sound from the clock on the wall seemed to fill the room as you swallowed, your throat feeling dry.
Noah's eyes were still opening and closing as he tried to adjust them to the harsh hospital lighting, he turned his head slightly, letting out a quiet groan and then, he looked at you. Your chin started to wobble as bit your bottom lip.
"Noah..." you said shakily. You didn't know what you should do, so you did what felt natural. You rushed over to Noah and threw your arms around him. Noah winced beneath you. "Oh my god I'm sorr" you said as you started to pull away, feeling so stupid, but Noah pulled you back down, his arms wrapping around you tightly.
"Thank you for coming" Noah whispered into your hair.
Tears fell down your cheeks as you pulled back, using the back of your right hand to wipe them away as your left held Noah's hand tightly
"Next of kin? Really Noah? It's been 2 years" you laughed in-between sobs.
"I had to get you to talk to me somehow" Noah said, with a soft smile.
You playfully swatted his arm " A little drastic Noah, you couldn't have just written a song or something?"
"Oh don't worry, l've done a lot of that too" he smirked You sat down in the chair next to Noah's bedside, still holding his hand. A silenced followed, but it felt comfortable.
"What happened? How're you feeling? Does it hurt?"
Noah smiled at all of your questions "You'll laugh"
You gasped theatrically " I would never"
"Run" you both said at the same time, you looked at each other and started laughing.
"You and your running Noah! I've told you before it's safer to stay in bed"
"And I've told you before, it's good for me, it clears my head"
You both looked at each other, Noah squeezed his eyes shut as he realised the irony of what he had just said and you both started laughing again. You noticed a feeling rising inside of you that you hadn't felt in so long, you felt happy.
"Anyway." Noah said with a dramatic sigh "I was running, and I uh, I tripped"
You looked at him "That's it? You tripped? Noah Sebastian, tripped?" you teased.
"Yeah, sorry babe, hate to break it to you but I'm only human after all." Your heart didn't let you miss what he called you as it skipped a beat. "I wasn't on my usual route, and I wasn't paying attention and I just... tripped.
Hit my head at a bad angle apparently and hear I am"
"But you're ok? The doctor on the phone said you re getting better?" you asked, needing more reassurance.
"I'm fine, I promise." Noah said looking into your eyes and giving your hand a tighter squeeze. Noah was always the strong one in your relationship. He was always the calm, collected one. Nothing was ever an emergency or a problem, he was always able to fix things and calm you down.
"You know when I got here, I was in and out of consciousness on the way in so I woke up not knowing where I was or what had happened, and I kept thinking
"In through your nose, out through your mouth" and it worked, it really calmed me down, and it made me think of you."
You smiled and looked down "Well, you did have to say that to me a lot"
"I didn't mind, ever, not for one second" Noah's eyes scanned your face, your hair, and you didn't miss the quick glance up and down your body either. You were dressed up for dinner, not for a visit to the hospital. "Your hair is lighter? You look.... you look really pretty. It's so good to see you."
The door to Noah's room swung open, you pulled your hand away from Noah, feeling as if you had just been caught doing something you shouldn't have. A tall light haired man walked in and smiled, picking up Noah's chart from the bottom of his hospital bed.
"Hi, I'm Dr Burrows, we spoke on the phone?" He said with a smile. "How're you feeling Noah? How's the head?" Noah replied to the doctor as Dr Burrows did a few checks on him, flashing a light in his eyes and holding a finger in front of him.
"Everything looks good and all of your scans are clear. I'd like to keep you in tonight, just to monitor you a little further and if everything is still stable in the morning, we can discharge you. But, you did have a pretty big bump to your head and recovery can be up and down. Do you live alone?"
Your stomach dropped as you waited for Noah to answer the doctor.
A wave of relief washed over you as you let out a quiet breath.
"Well, we don't usually discharge someone unless they have someone at home that can help you recover, keep an eye on you and make sure everything is going to plan"
Before Noah could say anything, you spoke, words leaving your mouth before you could even register them.
"I'll be staying with Noah until he's better" Dr Burrows looked at you, and then at Noah, who smiled.
"Ok then we're sorted. I'll pop by tomorrow and see you one last time before we discharge you, try to get a good sleep tonight".
Dr Burrows left the room, and it was just you and Noah once more.
"You don't have to do that, stay with me, I can ask one of the guy-"
"If you're ok with it, I would like to help. You were always the one taking care of me when we were together, l'd like to take care of you now."
Noah looked at you for a moment before responding. "Thank you, so much." His eyes a little glassy.
"I don't know if you heard or anything, probably not, l've moved."
"Oh?" You said in surprise.
"Yeah, I needed away from the city. I bought a place up in the woods."
"Like we always talked about.." You trailed, Noah nodded.
"I can text you the address if you want? You might need to unblock me first" Noah said sarcastically while jabbing you with his finger.
"Oh, woah, you're moving too fast" you retorted with a grin.
You grabbed your bag from the floor and rummaged around for your phone, your face dropped.
Luke: Hey, I'm here just by the window
Luke: l've tried calling, can you let me know if you're on your way?
Luke: I'm gonna head out. Just let me know you're ok
Fuck. Forcing Luke to the back of your mind for now you swiped up to unlock your phone properly and searched for Noah.
"WAIT" Noah said, sitting up, making you jump.
"When you unblock someone, do their old texts to you come through?"
"Uhhh.. no, no I don't think so"
Noah lay his head back down on the lumpy pillow
"Thank god" he said, making you laugh.
"Why? what did you say? Have you spent the last 2 years pining over me huh?"
"Something like that" Noah smiled.
Your stomach rumbled and you realised you hadn't eaten anything tonight. You were supposed to be having dinner with Luke.
"Hungry? The visitor cafeteria is closed, but there is a vending machine down the hall but I'm not sure what's left, Folio raided it earlier today"
"Starving. Would you like anything?"
"A snickers" you both said at the same time, again.
Smiling, you stood up, told Noah you would be back in 5 minutes and then made your way to the vending machine.
"Ok.... good news and bad news. Good news is, I have a snickers, bad news is, there was only one left."
"Well you're the one that has offered to nurse me back to health for the next two weeks, so I think you should have it, keep your strength up"
You gave Noah a smile "Half and half?" you offered.
You sat down next to Noah, opening the snickers and breaking off half to share.
"Oh, uh, your phone rang a couple times.. seems someone called Luke really wants to speak to you"
Your hand froze. Fuck, you had left your phone on your chair, Noah would have clearly seen it ring.
"It's not important, I'll call him later."
"Later? It's almost 10, is he?..." Noah hesitated, looking like he was afraid to ask "Are you seeing him?"
"Wait, almost 10? aren't visiting hours over at 8?!" you said panicking
"I don't think they're too strict, as long as it's not a whole bunch of people." Noah said, holding your gaze, still waiting for you to answer his question.
"No.. I'm not seeing anyone. Though, I was supposed to be going for dinner tonight."
Noah's jaw tightened slightly as he looked away like he was trying to hide it, so slightly that if you didn't know him so well you would have missed it.
"Well I'm sorry for ruining your dinner plans..." Noah said, not sounding one bit genuine.
"No you're not, besides, I prefer half a snickers and old company."
Noah looks back at you with a small smile "No, I'm not"
Your phone gave off an obnoxiously loud alarm tone as you groaned, your eyes fluttered open as you became aware of an aching pain in your neck and right shoulder. Straightening up you realised why you were sore, you had fallen asleep crumpled up in the hospital chair next to Noah's bed. You tried to find your phone as the alarm blared, waking Noah, your phone had fallen under his bed so you scrambled onto your knees in a hurry to reach it before finally muting it.
"Sorry" you huffed as you stood up, brushing down your blouse and Checking your phone
"You're still here?" Noah said rubbing his eyes.
You looked at him, the bruise on his head now deeper shades of purples and yellows than yesterday.
"I must have fallen asleep, I thought one of the nurses would have kicked me out. I just need to text my boss, I'll be right back" Smiling at Noah, you left the room and walked to the front doors of the hospital. Scrolling through your contacts you clicked on Daisy's name.
You: Daisy, I'm not going to make it in to the office today. You're not going to believe where I am... I might need to take some unpaid leave for a few weeks, but ! can work on some projects remotely if needed.
Daisy: Well, are you gonna tell me where you are?!
You: I'm with Noah.. He's in hospital, he had a fall and hit his head, I said I would stay with him until he has recovered. Oh, and please don't mention this to Luke, can you just tell him I'm sick?
You typed quickly as if just blurting it out, knowing what Daisy would have to say about all of this.
Daisy: YOU WHAT?! You're taking time off to look after your cheating ex-boyfriend?! Well I hope his concussion has at least knocked some sense into him. I won't mention anything to Luke, but we have to catch up soon. Don't forget we have our summer team drinks next weekend!
You: And that's why we're friends! Of course, I will tell you everything then.
You walked back to Noah's room, trying not to get in anyone's way as nurses and doctors filled the once quiet corridors. You stopped at a vending machine that had been restocked and got two snickers bars and a bottle of apple juice. Dr burrows was examining Noah when you walked into the room, suddenly feeling self conscious about your questionable breakfast choices, you hid the snickers behind your back.
"I'd say your all set to head home Noah. Remember to rest for the next few weeks, you may still experience dizzy spells and tiredness. Just be a little more careful when you get back to running, yeah?" You both thanked Dr Burrows as he signed Noah's discharge papers before leaving.
"Ok then, are you ready? I'll need to stop by my place quickly to pack some things, if that's ok with you?"
"Of course, I'm at your mercy for the next two weeks" Noah flashed you with the kind of smile that would get you into trouble.
You helped Noah to the car, he was still a little unsteady on his feet. you linked your arm around his tightly to support him and felt something stir in you at the sudden closeness. After a short drive you were at your parked outside of your apartment.
"Do you.. want to come in? Or stay in the car? I won't be long"
"I'll come in, if, if you're happy for me to come in?"
You both stepped into the elevator up to your apartment, something you had done together so many times before. In the silence, your mind replayed a memory that was hard to forget.
"Noaaaah! Stop it." you whined in your drunken state
"There are cameras in here!" hitting his chest playfully.
"Let them watch baby" Noah said burying his head into your neck, biting down impatiently with one hand on your cheek and the other trailing down your body, lifting up one side of your dress.
The elevator doors opened and you cleared your throat, stepping out.
"You ok? You've gone a little red, are you too hot?" Noah asked, his eyes glinting, suggesting he knew exactly what you were just thinking about, because he was thinking about it to. You only nodded in response.
Walking into your bedroom you grabbed your overnight bag and threw in enough clothes, underwear and toiletries to keep you going for now. You grabbed your charger and headed into the living room. Noah was standing with his hands in his pockets, looking like a lost stranger in a foreign land. He looked around and watched you pack your laptop into your bag.
"Have you decorated? New paint?" He said awkwardly.
"Yeah, I fancied a change and unfortunately for me, I had to settle for a tin of paint rather than a new house hidden in the forest." You laughed, looking up at Noah who now had his hands in the air.
"Hey, you still have access to my credit card, go nuts babe"
"And your Netflix, and your Amazon Prime, and your CrunchyRoll account" you teased. You had noticed Noah never deleted your profiles, each time you opened them to catch up on your shows, hoping you'd still have access, and you always did.
Noah's faced soften "Sometimes... I would go onto your profile, and watch whatever you had been watching" a warm expression creeped over your face at Noah's confession.
"Should I be concerned at how many times you've watched Off Campus? Are you a Dean girl? Or a Garrett girl?" a mischievous grin across his face. "You're a Dean girl, I knew it and you always told me you didn't have a thing for blonde guys!" Your cheeks flushed and your eyes flew open, grabbing a throw cushion from the sofa you hurtled it towards Noah.
"Hey!! You can't do that, you're supposed to be taking care of me!" Noah laughed as he dodged the cushion that was headed straight for him.
You were both laughing when your phone started to ring.
You sighed, knowing you had to pick up, and a new wave of guilt washed over you for standing him up.
"Ooh is that lover boy?" Noah teased
Rolling your eyes you began to walk to you bedroom, hoping to be out of Noah's earshot before sucking in a deep breath and accepting the call.
You: "Hi Luke, listen, I'm so sorry abou-"
Luke: "No please don't apologise! I was just worried something was wrong when you didn't show but Daisy told me you're not well, do you need anything? I can stop by on my lunch break?"
You: "NO! - You accidentally blurted out - No, thank you, that's kind of you like but I'm ok. I am sorry about standing you up, it's just..."
Your voice trailed knowing that there wasn't going to be an easy way to say this.
You: "I freaked out, I'm sorry, I thought I was ready to try dating again, but I don't think I am and I don't want to lead you on any further, I'm sorry."
Holding your breath as you awaited Luke's response, but a few seconds passed with nothing.
Luke: "Hi, yeah, ok, yeah, I understand. I've got to go, feel better soon. Take care of yourself."
And then he hung up. You started at your phone, you're not sure how you expected Luke to react, but it wasn't like that. Pursing your lips as you exhaled. That's that then you thought.
You returned to find Noah in the kitchen, staring at your refrigerator, he jumped slightly, not realising you were behind him.
"I was just admiring all of your magnets, are these from-"
"Tours" you finished his sentence "yeah, they are. You know I couldn't help myself, new city, new country, new magnet"
"I just didn't realise you had so many of them"
You both smiled, admiring the 20+ magnets adorning your refrigerator.
"Right, well I'm ready to go, how long is the drive?
"Mm 45 minutes to an hour? Depending on traffic"
The afternoon sun was high in the sky as you watched the city disappear in your rear view mirror. You were anxious to see Noah's home, you wondered how it would feel for you, to see where he has been living without you the past 2 years.
"How's your head? Your bruise is getting darker"
"I feel ok babe, I can't wait to be in my own bed though, I think I need a nap"
You chucked at this, Noah sounding like an old man.
"Wow, slow down rockstar" Noah hummed and tutted in response.
"Sooooooo..... Luke" Noah questioned, his voice hesitant but curious.
"What about him?" You asked, though knowing full well what Noah was getting at
"Are you seeing him again? For dinner? Is he nice? What does he look like?" He paused for a second narrowing his eyes "how tall is he?"
"Noah! What does his height have to do with anything?! I work with him, so I'll have to see him again. But no, not for dinner. He's..." you dragged your words out trying to find the right words to describe Luke to Noah, something you never thought you would be doing.
"He's nice, like he's sweet and all, kind, maybe a little intense if anything"
"Intense how? He hasn't pressured you into anything?" Noah asked defensively, fixing his posture so he was now sitting up straight.
"Noah! No, he's just keen I guess."
Noah nodded slowly, relaxing a little again, his head turned to you as you focused on the road ahead.
"But... you're not keen?"
You thought for a second before answering, unsure of how much of your feelings you wanted to give away right now.
"No, I'm not interested in dating... him" you added.
"Can I ask you something Noah?"
"Anything" he replied almost immediately.
"Have you.. a-are you.. oh god" you said grilling the steering wheel tighter. "Are you dating? Have you dated? Since us?"
"No" Noah said what felt like less than a second after you asked him. "No one, I haven't been with anyone since you, if that's what you were asking."
Was that what you wanted to hear? Or would it be easier if he had also been with other people? If he was dating? Flashbacks of your one nightstands clouding your memory.
"You're overthinking, aren't you" Noah slowly stretched out his hand and you felt it rest on your thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"I... I" you stuttered, suddenly feeling overwhelmed.
"Sorry, it's none of my business anyway." Clearing your throat.
Noah looked as though he was going to say something, but stopped himself.
You continued driving, following Noah's directions through a long secluded side road that was taking you deeper into the forest. The sun was still shining but the tall trees casted a shade over you. The road came to a stop as you were met with a tall electronic gate.
"The keypad is just to your left" Noah pointed as you rolled down your window unbuckling your seatbelt so that you could reach the keypad.
Your head spun around as you scanned Noah's face, he looked unbothered.
"Oh, you do remember? It's the only date I remember... and I didn't want to end up locked out of my own house so." He said as a smug grin crept across his face.
You could feel your stomach reacting but you chose to ignore it for now. You punched in the code and the gate slowly began to open, you followed the driveway up and around a steep incline as the trees started to clear.
"Jesus Noah..." You said in shock as your mouth fell open.
You parked up and got out of the car, looking around you and up at the large, wooden clad house in front of you. Tall floor to ceiling windows, a wrap around porch, and what looked like a double door balcony on the second floor, overlooking the trees.
"This is...." You couldn't find the words. The house was incredible, and it also looked exactly like the one you had pictured in your head all those years ago, when you and Noah talked about one day moving out of the city, settling down somewhere quiet and private, starting a family surrounded by nature with a huge backyard for your kids to play in.
You were hit by a wave of emotions, you felt you a lump in your throat and your eyes well up, looking up at what could have been, and how different your life could be.
"Sweetheart?.. Noah asked, resting a hand on the small of your back.
"It's so beautiful Noah" you chocked out, feeling a little ridiculous you added "I'm so jealous" chuckling as you wiped your eyes. Noah let out a small laugh and held his arm out to you.
"Would you like a tour" you linked your arm tightly around his as he looked down at you.
"Yes please, and this is only to keep you steady" you said motioning to your intertwined arms.
"Of course babe, come on, I'm so excited to show you around."
The inside of Noah's home was just as incredible as the outside. The high ceilings and large windows allowed the natural light to flood the large open plan living/dining room. The walls were a natural colour, adorned with artwork that reflected the surroundings. Noah guided you through the whole house. Four large bedrooms including his master, that was complete with a walk in closest and ensuite with the biggest freestanding roll top bath you had ever seen. A gym, a small cinema and games room, and you had also noticed a pool in the backyard out of one of the windows.
"I think you'll like this room" Noah said as he opened a door and gestured for you to go inside first.
His studio. A full scale studio in his home. Your ears scanned the room, noticing the walls lined with Bad Omens records, tour posters, and so many of their achievements. Guitars, a drum kit, everything. A Large piano sat in the corner of the room, beside another floor to ceiling window overlooking the tall trees that enveloped the house. You walked closer to Noah's desk where his computer and recording equipment sat.
"Noah... This is incredible! I'm so proud of you, you know. That feeling never went away."
Your fingers traced over the desk in front of you, scattered papers with music notes and scribbles. Your eyes landed on a familiar black leather notebook, Noah's songbook. You remember him carrying it around with him everywhere he went, in case something inspired him.
"I remember this!" You said lightly tapping the leather with your fingers. "Can I take a look?"
Noah moved closer to you and without saying anything, gave you a soft smile and nodded.
It's ok to let me go if you need
And in your head I'm always gonna stay
Do you feel love? I know I don't, with no one to hold
When you're alone, do you feel at home?
The silence in the room suddenly felt heavy as the emotions of the lyrics scribbled down weighed heavily in your chest. You gently closed the notebook and turned to Noah, without saying anything you wrapped your arms around him and pulled him into you. Your hand found the back of his head, combing your fingers through his dark hair. Noah held you tightly, his hands splaying across your lower back. You pulled away just enough so you could face Noah, your noses practically touching, you could feel his breath on you as you moved closer.
Noah squeezed his eyes shut suddenly and repositioned his grip on you "I-i, fuck. I don't want to ruin this, but I feel so dizzy all of a sudden"
“Hey, that’s ok. Dr Burrows said you would be dizzy sometimes. Why don’t you take a lie down? I’ll unpack some of my stuff and get settled”
Noah headed to his bedroom for a lie down and after unpacking, you sat down with some toast and decided to open your laptop and work on some design projects. The afternoon went by quickly, you had checked in on Noah a few times and he was still sound asleep. Closing your laptop for the day, you got changed into your pyjamas and head out to the balcony.
It was around 9pm and the sun was beginning to set for the day. You dropped your shoulders as you listened to the birds and the nearby stream flow through the trees around you. You inhaled deeply, the smell of pine and moss filled your nose. You liked it here, no, you loved it here. You closed your eyes for a moment, trying to soak up the peace and quiet as much as possible.
"Jesus Christ!!" you shouted as you opened your eyes.
Noah was standing in front of you, you hadn't even heard him walk out.
"Are you trying to finish me off now? What are you doing creeping around here! I thought you were still asleep!" You playfully swat Noah's arm.
"Hmm, would you like me to finish you off? I'm sure I could manage that baby." Noah grinned as you nudged him with your leg.
"Here, I brought you some chocolate. You looked so peaceful when I came out I didn't want to disturb you."
"So you thought you'd just stand and stare at me instead?" You smiled sweetly. "Thank you"
"You suit this house, this place, the woods" Noah said as his hands gestured around your surroundings.
"I, i really love it here Noah. I can see why you bought it"
Noah sat down in the chair next to you. He hummed and exhaled and looked over to you.
"I thought of you, when I viewed this place. I could picture us doing exactly this, here on the balcony, talking, laughing, sitting in a comfortable silence, listening to the birds. I always hoped that one day our paths would cross again, that I would have the opportunity to earn your trust back after what I did to you."
You swallowed and looked out at the trees surrounding you.
"How‘re you feeling after your lie down?" You asked Noah, changing the subject.
"Better, thank you" Noah smiled at you. "and I mean that, thank you for looking after me. You didn't have to, I know I'm not your problem anymore but I want you to know how much I appreciate you being here with me"
"The night the hospital called me, I had such a strange feeling all day that something wasn't right, I tried to shake it, but something was just off. I thought about you, properly, for the first time in a long time, I had allowed myself to think about you. And then, when I got into the office, Just Pretend was playing on the radio. Looking back, I think I knew something was wrong, and deep down I don't think l've ever stopped worrying about you."
You turned your head to face Noah and smiled. He looked so perfect in the orange glow of the sunset. His eyes changing from deep brown to a warm amber as the tired sun reflected in them. You leaned down to your side, picking up your mug of tea that was now a little cold. You felt something move around your neck. Your necklace, it had slipped out of your top when you leaned down. The large diamond glinting as the sun caught it. You panicked and closed your hand around the ring. You could feel Noah's eyes on you. Shit
"Is that?..." Noah's voice trailed as he asked nervously.
You still had your hand clasped around the ring, clenching tightly hoping that Noah hadn't really seen it.
"Uh, yeah, it is" you said admitting defeat and finally letting the ring hang freely on the chain. A silence filled the air around the both of you.
Noah stretched his hand out towards you, you hesitated for a second, before doing the same. Your hands knitted together, Noah brought your hand to his mouth and placed a gentle kiss before tracing light circles with his thumb. You felt your cheeks flush at the contact.
"Can I say something?" You asked.
Sweetheart, your heart jumped in your chest.
"If I were to stand up, and, and kiss you right now.. would that be ok?"
Noah tightened his grip around your hand as if already answering your question.
"I think... that would be more than ok" he said, his gaze flicking to your lips and then back to your eyes.
Your legs feeling a little unsteady as you stood up, and in sync, you both closed the distance between you almost immediately. You placed a hand on Noah's shoulder and one hand gently cupped the side of his face. Your thumb stroked his cheek, lowering to his neck as you traced over his tattoos. Noah's eyes were fixed to you, and you were sure you could hear his heart beat against his chest. Your eyes lifted to meet his and you paused for less than a second before your lips met his.
Your heart felt like it was going to burst. Your arms wrapped around Noah's neck as both of his large hands cupped your face, almost squeezing you. This was the kiss you had been aching for, full of passion and longing. The last 2 years without each other pouring into it.
You were first to pull away, only to try to catch your breath. Noah looked into your eyes. "I love you, so much" he kissed your cheek, and then the corner of your mouth before placing a soft kiss to your forehead.
You both smiled at each other, a wide grin on Noah's face that you reciprocated. You started laughing, as if your body was relaxing after all these years of trying to keep your true feelings hidden. Noah started to chuckle, finding your laughter contagious as the two of you stood on the balcony, tears streaming from your eyes from laughing and crying so hard, like no time had passed at all.
“I’d really like to take a bath, and the one in your ensuite looks big enough for two, and well… you probably shouldn’t be showering or taking a bath alone, yknow because of your head”
“Mmhmm is that right?” Noah teased raising an eyebrow.
You turned on your heels and slowly started to walk towards the stairs, throwing Noah a glance over your shoulder. Noah started to follow you, you began walking faster, suddenly bursting into a sprint up the stairs, giggling as Noah started to chase you towards his bedroom.
You had just turned the corner when you felt Noah’s arms wrap tightly around your waist, pulling you back to him. He spun you around a to face him, brushing a loose strand of hair out of your face before crashing his lips onto yours, slipping his tongue into your mouth as you moaned into the kiss. Your skin was on fire, desperate for Noah to touch all of you.
"I've missed you so fucking much" You moaned into Noah's ear as his free hand gripped your jaw, tilting it to the side allowing him to kiss and bite down your neck. You tilted your hips into him, feeling the hard bulge between his legs that you always thought about during the lonely late nights in your apartment. Your right hand found Noah's head as you grabbed a hand full of his hair and softly tugged so he was facing you. You kissed him hard once more before smiling, and slowly dropping to your knees. You kept your eyes on Noah as you palmed him through his black joggers, his eyes half lidded. You placed gentle, slow kisses over the fabric.
"Please what baby...?" you said as you looked up at Noah innocently. Noah whined above you and you giggled.
Your hands found his waistband, hooking your fingers around as you removed the fabric that was getting in your way. You squeezed your thighs together tightly as your hand wrapped around him. You glanced up at Noah before sinking your mouth around him, taking him all in. You worked your hand up and down with a twisting motion whilst your cheeks hollowed around him.
"Fuck.." Noah let out a breathy moan looking down at you, a wicked grin splitting his face "You look so fucking good on your knees baby"
You batted your eyes at him, blinking away tears that were forming as you began to choke on him. You hear Noah's breathing become shallow, a hallmark that he was getting close. You moaned and swirled your tongue around him in your mouth, feeling every vein and ridge that you had missed so much. You would happy stay here until your knees ached.
"You're, I'm gonna cu-" Noah stuttered trying to catch his breath.
You felt his hips jut as you tasted him come undone in your mouth. You stayed in place for a moment, savouring the feeling of Noah as his breathing slowed. You slowly drew your lips from around him with a pop as you sat back on your heels, using the back of your hand to wipe the corner of your mouth.
Noah grabbed your hands and pulled you up to stand, he used his fingers to wipe your mascara from under your eyes and kissed you.
"I'm going to run us a bath, since we didn't even make it there" He said laughing. You looked around the landing, you hadn't even made it into a room, just the top of the stairs.
"I've missed your pretty mouth" Noah said before kissing the top of your head.
Noah disappeared into the bathroom and you heard the sound of running water. You walked into the bathroom, the smell of warm water mixing with bath salts filling your nose. You looked at your reflection in the mirror, your make up half way down your face, your eyes red.
"God, Noah, you could've told me I look like this" You said as you grabbed a wipe from the countertop.
"You look Beautiful. Hot. Ruined. Mine"
You felt the heat between your legs again. Noah grabbed the hem of his t-shirt and hauled it over his head. His exposed tattooed chest making your heart thud. Noah walked over to you and positioned himself between your legs as he wrapped his arms around your lower back, suddenly lifting you onto the counter. You let out a squeal at the sudden movement. Noah cupped your face, the size of his hand practically covering the whole side of your head as he kissed you. The kiss was messy and desperate as your tongues collided. Noah pulled back and lifted your top over your head revealing your bare chest. His head dipped as he kissed and sucked lower until you felt his mouth close around one of your nipples, his free hand rolling the other between his fingers. You moaned and arched your back into him. Noah paused for a second, his finger grazing over the ring that dangled from the chain around your neck, he leaned down again and placed a soft kiss over the ring before tugging at your pyjama bottoms. You lifted your hips up slightly so that he could slide them off your body. You hissed at the sudden cold sensation of the marble countertop on your bare skin.
"You drive me insane" Noah said as he leaned down to your aching core. "think about your pussy every time I make myself cum, been dreaming about tasting you on my tongue for so long" You sucked in a sharp breath as Noah bit down gently on your inner thigh before placing a messy kiss just above your clit. Your hand tangled in his hair, his tongue worked it's way over you, sucking and teasing in all the right places. "Taste so good baby" Noah hummed against you.
"Noah.. Ple- can you fuck me, please I need you" you huffed.
Noah stood up in front of you, his fingers trailing to your pussy as he toyed with you "My needy girl" he said as he kissed your neck before sliding two fingers inside of you but removing them just as fast.
"Taste" Noah demanded as he placed his fingers inside your mouth. "Good girl" He cooed.
Noah repositioned himself before pushing into you. Both of you huffing and groaning as he filled you. He felt so good, a feeling you had missed more than you wanted to let on. You felt Noah smile as he nibbled your ear, letting you get used to him stretching you again. His hair damp from sweat and the steam that was now filling the room. Noah pulled out achingly slowly, before thrusting into you, a cry escaping your mouth. Your hands clawed Noah's back as he rolled his hips in and out, in and out. You squeezed your eyes shut, feeling your stomach tighten. You wrapped your legs around Noah's waist allowing him to get deeper as he gripped your leg with one hand, and you hip with the other. "Never" "Letting yo-" "Go" "Again" Noah stuttered as he continued to drive in and out of you. "You're mine, all mine baby"
"Yours" you panted, you felt yourself clenching tighter around him, your hand reaching out onto the counter for something to grab, instead accidentally knocking something over that crashed to the ground.
"Noa- Noah, fuck, I'm close" Noah kept his pace as he looked into your eyes. "Cum around me baby, I want to feel it" Your back arched, your mouth open and your eyes clenching shut as your orgasm tore through you. Noah's movements became sloppy as he groaned into your neck, you felt him spill inside of you, your walls clenching around him as if trying to keep him there forever.
Noah rested his head on your shoulder and you played with his hair as you both came back down to earth. You were more aware of your surroundings now, the room was full of steam, your skin damp, you heard a splash as you peeked around Noah.
"Noah! The bath!" you shrieked as you watched the water overflow, pouring over the sides of the freestanding bath.
Noah looked up at you and started laughing, completely unbothered as the water began to flood the bathroom.
"I love you." He said simply. You laughed and pulled his face close enough so that your noses were touching. "I love you." You replied, kissing Noah softly. After 2 years of trying to run from your feelings, you knew that this was exactly where you were supposed to be.
