Welcome to my Tumblr aka welcome to my head. Here we listen and don’t judge. (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
My blog ist 18+, minors DNI.
Posting my silly little stories here and just enjoy being part of the Bad Omens Fandom. Little random stuff in between but mostly just me loving my favorite band lmao.
Requests are open - don’t be shy, just tell me what you would like to read about the Omens. (All pairings possible)
Everything you need to know about me:
age: 27
located: europe
Links to my stories below the cut. Have a great time and take care. ヽ(*・ω・)ﾉ
Masterlist:
Smut: ♡ Fluff: ❀ Angst: ☾
Oneshots:
Angel in white sheets (Noah x Reader) ♡ ❀ ☾
Watch me like you own me (Noah x Ruffilo) ♡
Good boys get what they want (Noah x Folio) ♡
I’d let the world burn for you (Noah x Reader) ♡ ❀
Show me that you missed me (Noah x Reader) ♡ ❀
Scream my name (NoahxReader) ♡
High (NoahxReader) ♡ ❀
For you, I bleed (NoahxReader) ♡ ☾
Make me feel alive (NoahxReader) ♡
Devour Me (NoahxReader) ♡ ❀
Left for good (NoahxReader) ♡ ☾
Series:
Historians will call them „best friends“ (Noah x Ruffilo) ❀ ☾
I want you to know that I didn’t get barricade in Leipzig BUT I was crowdsurfing and moshing and dancing all the time in the pit. I loved every second. 🤍
The state this fandom has been in over the last few weeks has truly shocked me.
It started with the scandal surrounding Matt, and just when it seemed like things were finally calming down, I witnessed one of the biggest dramas over what should have been a relatively minor issue.
Do I support queuing early? No.
Am I surprised that it happened? Also no.
It’s not like this hasn’t happened before. People have been queuing early and creating numbering systems for a long time. Yet somehow this situation escalated into something far bigger than the original issue itself.
What shocked me the most wasn’t the queuing. It was the sheer amount of hatred, insults, and public call-outs I saw today.
We have reached a point where people are being filmed without their knowledge and posted on TikTok to shame them for standing in line early or because someone had a personal issue with them.
At some point I found myself wondering whether people have completely lost sight of what this is supposed to be.
It’s a band.
It’s a concert.
It’s supposed to be fun.
Being part of a fandom is supposed to be fun.
Going to a show is supposed to be fun.
Instead, I’ve spent today feeling devastated and deeply disappointed by what I’ve seen.
I’ve been looking forward to my show on Monday for months. There was a time when this fandom meant everything to me, and that wasn’t even that long ago. Lately, though, it feels like I need to take a major step back because the constant drama has been exhausting, and today was the breaking point for me.
I hope I’ll find the motivation to continue writing and sharing my stories in the future, but right now I’m simply tired.
Maybe this sounds dramatic to some people, but I’m sitting at home crying while writing this because a space that once felt safe and welcoming suddenly doesn’t feel that way anymore.
Yes, I’m very sensitive.
And maybe that’s exactly why this affects me so much.
i'm so hyped i love the social part of this site and the tag games! thank you so much to the coolest @und34dd0ll for the tag!
Go on pinterest and type in the prompts down below. Whatever image pops up first is your image.
Prompts: Color, quote, character, hobby, accessory, song lyrics, flower.
now, the i feel annoying part!! no pressure tags: @midnightsummerrain @steelandvibranium @decadentpaperduck @leavemealoneplzs @hopeless-vt @theebladestar @saturncollides @slowerghost @fadingangelwisp @prettydykeprincess @starberrymatcha
AN: Was going to write something nice and fluffy. Got in a weird mood. So I present to you: pure angst. Again, English isn't my first language so apologies in advance if I've made a mess of it.
Warnings: Angst, hurt, grief, death, loss. There's a bit of fluff in it too, I guess.
Words: 2.5 k
Death was as all consuming as life itself. Perhaps even more so. His death was all consuming. It sank into your very pores, settled in the pit of your stomach. His death was like a wet blanket that you couldn’t shake off, wrapping itself around everything.
He was everywhere. He was nowhere. One moment he was there, solid, warm and breathing. One moment he was gone. But he was all around you. He was in the dirty laundry you couldn’t get yourself to wash, in the half empty cup of coffee on the living room table. He was in the crease in the sofa where he’d collapse after a long day. He was in the wilted flowers in the vase on the dining room table. He was in your skin, your hair, in your being. He was just not where you needed him to be. And he wouldn’t ever be again.
You needed him to hold you together, to gently stitch your wounds and piece you back together. Just like he had done many times before. But he couldn’t. Because he wasn’t there. He had gone from this world in an instant, leaving you with broken pieces of a shared life.
And there you stood. In your home. In his home. The home you had shared. Alone. Rooms that were once filled with music, warmth and laughter felt hollow, unforgiving and unfamiliar.
————
You let out a huff as you slid into the passenger seat after another failed viewing. ”We’re never gonna find the one, are we?”
Noah’s eyes crinkled slightly as he smiled at you, putting a large, warm hand on your thigh. ”Don’t give up hope yet! Our house is out there somewhere, waiting for us! We just have to find it.”
”At this rate it feels like I might just move in with you and the boys.”
”Jesse would love that, you know. I think he likes you more than he likes me.”
You laughed. ”Well duh? I’m clearly the most likeable out of the two of us!”
”You are.”
Noah put the car in reverse, backing out of the driveway of yet another house you wouldn’t purchase. ”I’ve just got a good feeling about this next one, you know. I think it might be the one.”
An hour later you felt your breath catch in your chest. ”Noah… there’s no way we can afford this.” you glanced up at him and continued, ”There’s absolutely no way we can afford a mid century villa in this neighbourhood.”
The house seemed to rise naturally from the landscape, as if it had always been there. Long horizontal lines stretched beneath a gently sloping roof, walls of glass reflected the golden afternoon light. Warm cedar panels glowed against clean stone surfaces.
”It is a bit over budget, yeah. But not by much. It’s doable.”
”Doable..?”
”Doable. Let’s go inside.” Noah reached for your hand, pulling you gently up the pathway to the front door.
When you stepped inside, the space opened around you. Sunlight streamed through large windows, illuminating wood panels and natural stone. Beyond the glass, trees in the garden swayed gently in the breeze.
For the first time in months of endless viewings, you felt calm. Every surface felt warm to the touch, every corner designed to make you linger. For a moment, you simply stood there, taking it all in. It was the kind of place that instantly makes you imagine a life inside it.
You were fixated on the walls around you, eyes widening in barely concealed glee. ”Oh Noah. It’s… it’s perfect.” Looking up at him revealed that he wasn’t looking at the house. He was looking at you, a soft smile warming his face.
”Welcome home, baby.”
————
It had been your home for the last year and a half. It still was, but not really. You slept in the spare bedroom, ate in the kitchen, showered in one of the bathrooms. You still hadn’t been able to sleep in your shared bed or enter his studio.
You wanted to stay. You wanted to live in this house. In the house he had been so proud of. In the house he had bought for the two of you. You wanted to sit where he used to sit, like his crease in the sofa would bring some part of him back to you. You wanted to cook in the kitchen you had stood side by side in. But you couldn’t. He was everywhere. He was nowhere.
And now you had to leave. You couldn’t stay. In the past few days you had put all of your own and all of your shared belongings in cardboard boxes. All of his belongings were still where he had put them. You just couldn’t bring yourself to put them away. Not by yourself.
There was a gentle knock on the door that pulled you from your catatonic state. ”Come in.” You yelled, voice raspy. You watched them enter your home without really seeing them. Not until you felt a pair of strong arms around you did you really see them. Folio held you like he was trying to put you back together. Without being asked Noah’s chosen family started doing what you couldn’t bring yourself to do. Davis was gently sorting through some of the paperwork Noah had left behind. Jolly and Jesse were carefully folding and packing Noah’s clothes. Folio had let go of you, helping Michael and Bryan emptying the garage. You were still standing there, not knowing what to do.
You felt a hand on your shoulder and met Nick's eyes. In all the years you had known him you had never seen him look the way he did now. You had lost the love of your life and your soulmate. And in a way, so had Nick. He glanced at the door to the room that had in so many ways been the heart of the house. Noah’s studio and office. ”Ready?” he asked.
”No.” You whimpered, ”but I don’t think I’ll ever be.” Nick nodded, giving you a careful push in the small of your back.
Your hand trembled on the door handle. When you pushed it down you were met with such profound stillness. The afternoon sun shone through the window, illuminating the dust dancing in the air. You felt your chest tighten. Everything in there was him. This room contained his very essence. His very soul. From the guitars on the walls, the computer on the desk, the microphone in the corner. The crumpled sheets of paper with discarded lyrics. It was just… him. This room was Noah.
Your own sharp sob cut through the silence, making you suddenly aware that you were crying. Nick could only hold you, letting you bury your tears in his shirt. One of his warm hands splayed over your shoulder blades, the other cupped the back of your head.
Slowly but surely the others quietly piled in. They disassembled the studio in silence whilst Nick held your sobbing form. Their own sorrow and grief gathered in their eyes, falling down their faces as they worked. Neither of them bothered to wipe their tears away. You knew they were doing their best to keep themselves together for you.
Jolly opened a drawer in the desk, expecting to find a bunch of guitar picks, cables and pens. He didn’t expect to find an envelope with your name on it. His voice shook slightly as he said your name. You lifted your head from Nicks chest to see Jolly holding out a letter to you. You took it from him with trembling hands. It had your name on it. In Noah’s handwriting. You felt seven pairs of eyes on you as you opened it.
”My love,
Right now you’re getting ready for our date, completely unaware of what’s about to happen.
I can hear you singing from upstairs. You’re doing that thing where you only remember half the lyrics and confidently make up the rest. Every now and then I hear a drawer slam and I know you’re running late, even though you’ve been getting ready for over an hour.
And I am terrified.
Not because I don’t know if I love you. God, I know that.
I’m terrified because in a few hours I’m going to ask you to spend the rest of your life with me.
Maybe by the time you’re reading this we’ll already be married. That’s the plan, anyway.
If that’s true, then I have questions.
How was the wedding?
Did you cry?
Did I cry?
Actually, don’t answer that. We both know I cried.
What did your dress look like? Was it the one you swore you didn’t want and then ended up loving anyway?
Did I wear a tie or a bow tie? I’m hoping you’ll talk me out of the bow tie if I try to get clever.
Are we in our house while you’re reading this? Is there a dog sleeping somewhere nearby? Did you finally convince me to let you get two?
Most importantly, are we happy?
I hope we are.
Not because life is perfect, but because we’re together. Because after all the years and all the versions of my life that existed before you, I still can’t quite believe I found you.
If everything went according to plan, then tonight was the beginning of the rest of our lives.
And if you’re reading this after we’ve said “I do”, then there’s only one thing left to say:
Thank you for saying yes.
I love you.
I’ll love you tomorrow, and next year, and every year after that.
Forever sounds like a long time, but with you it still doesn’t seem long enough.
Love,
Your Noah”
You read it and read it again. And again. Your tears fell thick and fast from your cheeks, landing on the paper in your hands; slightly smudging some of the words. Some of his words.
You barely manage to whisper ”I need a few minutes” before exiting the room. Noah had written the letter you now held in your hands only seven months ago, on what had been the happiest day of your life.
————
”Please.”
Noah is on one knee in front of you. In his hands he’s holding a small, midnight blue velvet box. The fairy lights reflected and danced in the diamond. The ring was simple, sleek and with a diamond large enough to make you feel a bit light headed.
You had suspected that something was happening the whole day. You just hadn’t let yourself imagine this. Noah had been unusually quiet the whole day. He had been twitchy, almost jumpy. He had taken you to your favorite restaurant. Your tall boyfriend, who could easily wolf down both his and your food, had mostly moved his food around the plate. One leg continuously bouncing up and down. ”Noah, baby, what’s up? You seem… not yourself.”
”Oh… I just have a lot on my mind.”
You tried to push. ”Like what?”
”Nothing important baby.” he reached over the table, taking your hand in his, offering an apologetic smile. ”I’m sorry. I just… got a bit lost in my head.”
He looked calmer, and probably could’ve fooled anyone. But not you. You noticed the shallow breathing and the pearls of sweat glistening in his hairline.
Noah was panicking inside. He had this night perfectly planned out in his head, and now his nerves seemed to get the better of him. Dinner at your favourite restaurant. A walk in the nearby park. Him falling to one knee in the gazebo by the lake. The gazebo Jesse and Jolly had spent hours not only guarding so that no one could get in the way, but also decorating with fairy lights and candles. And now Noah was about to ruin the whole night just because he couldn’t control his nerves. He was sure he wouldn’t get a single word out even though he had practiced his speech for weeks.
And now, there he was, on one knee in front of you in the warmly illuminated gazebo. His words failed him. Your eyes opened wide with surprise, delicate hands covering your slightly opened mouth. A breeze drifted through the evening air, teasing loose strands of your curled hair. For a moment, Noah found himself irrationally jealous of the wind and the ease with which it touched you.
He wanted to tell you how much he loved you. How much you changed his life. How just your presence grounded him. How beautiful you were. How pretty you looked. How he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. How he wanted to ease all your pain, worries and fears until his last breath. But he couldn’t. The only word he managed was a choked ”please”.
”Oh my god Noah…” you whispered.
”Please. Please marry me.”
Tears blurred your vision, breaking the evening light into glowing amber orbs. Beyond them stood Noah on one knee, blurred and golden, already looking like a memory.
”Yes!!! Yes of course I’ll marry you!!!”
Noah exhaled loudly and for the first time that day he felt his shoulders relaxing. He stood, wrapping you in his arms. Looking down at you with a single tear running down his face, his lips captured yours in a kiss that said more than he ever could. Taking one step back he took your left hand in his own, large tattooed one. He slipped the ring on your ring finger. You looked at it. You couldn’t quite believe your eyes. You were now his fiancée.
“I had a whole speech, you know.”
“I know.”
“It was really good.”
“I’m sure it was.”
“I forgot every single word.”
————
You didn’t know what to do. You didn’t know where to go. Your heart felt like it was exploding in your chest. He had written you a letter. A letter that, unbeknownst to yourself, you were now crumpling in your hand. He was gone. Forever. He had loved you. You had loved him. You loved him. You’d always love him. But that love now had nowhere to go. He was gone, but the love wasn’t.
Your pace quickened. You had to get out of the house. It felt like the walls were closing in around you. You slid the back door open. The afternoon sun felt warm on your skin, an unwelcome reminder that the world has kept spinning even after Noah was gone from it. You fell to your knees in the dry grass. A sob escaped your lips, one shaking hand trying to stifle the sound. The house was quiet. The men still standing in the studio looked at each other, unsure what to do. The scream that left you was born somewhere deep inside, from a place grief had hollowed out. It tore through the house like a living thing, sharp enough to make everyone freeze where they stood.
In the letter he had asked if he’d worn a tie or a bow tie at your wedding. You remembered standing in a funeral home, having to choose what he would be buried in. You hadn’t helped him choose what to wear for your wedding. You’d helped choose what he would be laid to rest in.
And now he was in every room. He was in every memory. He was in every plan you never got to make. He was everywhere. And he was nowhere.
“Love looks pretty on you, my pretty baby. I love how you love me so delicately.”
Title and quote are from “Love looks pretty on you” from Nessa Barrett. In celebration of the EU Summer Shows starting next week I just felt like writing something cute and fluffy. (1.3 k word of love). Enjoy <3
Everything here is pure fiction based on real people. None of this really happened and it’s just for the sake of entertainment. English is not my first language just so you know.
***NSFW below the cut, 18+, minors DNI, NoahxfemReader, established relationship, unprotected p in v, fluff, little smut, feelings, little angst, actually they just love each other***
———
When you woke up you already saw the sunlight starting to peak through the curtains. For once you felt well rested but as you slowly started to truly wake up you couldn’t stop the weight that already found its way back, settling heavy on you chest. You slowly rubbed your eyes before you turned to your left to find your boyfriend still asleep beside you.
He looked so peaceful.
Noah lay on his back, the white sheets carelessly draped over half his body, exposing glimpses of his tattooed body to your loving eyes. For a while you just stared at him, watching his chest slowly rising and falling, his lips a little bit parted and no sign of the stress he’s currently having could be seen on his face.
Your heart ached at the thought of him leaving for tour in a few days but you desperately tried to shove the thought aside when you carefully reached out to caress the slight stuble on his chin with your fingertips. You moved on to the straight bridge of his nose, trying to memorize every part of his face.
It didn’t take long before Noah started to blink his eyes open, letting out a long sigh when he mumbled, his voice still thick with sleep: “Morning baby, what’re you doing?”
You never stopped to delicately touch his face when you felt the tears involuntarily start to form in your eyes, clouding the sight of Noah in front of you.
Only a second later you felt a big, warm hand on the side of your face when he softly spoke again: “Hey, hey what’s wrong? Did something happen?”
When you looked up again you saw Noah slightly towering over you, his face on full alert now, big brown eyes searching yours for an answer.
Your heart now ached terribly and you felt guilty for waking him up like that, so your voice came out barely above a whisper: “I’m…I’m sorry. I just…god damn” Why was it always so hard to explain yourself? No one’s known you better than him after the years you shared together but it was still hard for you to communicate your feelings.
“It’s okay baby, take your time. Tell me what’s bothering you.” Noah reassured you, the hand on your cheek now wiping away some of your shed tears, nodding at you with the patience of a saint.
You took a deep breath before you tried to pull yourself together and spoke again, nuzzling your face against his hand: “I just don’t want you to leave just yet. I’m gonna miss you so bad…”
You could see the stress of the last days before the tour started in every feature of his face now. The shadows under his eyes, as well as chapped lips from forgetting to drink because he was so busy with organising everything. He closed his eyes for a second and you could watch his shoulders sinking from frustration when he looked at you again and slowly pulled you into a soft kiss. He barely broke the kiss when he answered against your lips: “I know…I also don’t wanna leave you but we both know I have to.” he kissed you again even slower, making you feel that he meant every word.
Beside the emotional weight that lingered between you, slowly something else began to build between you when you kept kissing like you had all the time in the world. His body tenderly pressed against you and you could already feel his morning wood press against your hip when you weaved your fingers through his hair, slowly pulling him on top of you so he could lazily settle between your thighs. You knew each other well enough that you knew more words weren’t needed now.
Noah once again broke the kiss just to lovingly bite your neck, leaving tender kisses everywhere on his way down between your breasts. When he took one of your sensitive buds between his lips to gently suck at it, he teased the other with his warm hand and whispered: “Gonna miss you so bad. Your smell, your skin, your laugh and the sounds you make when I do this…”
With that he carefully started to circle your clit with his free hand, which made you moan out his name with a sharp intake of air to your lungs.
“Noah please..I need you.” you squirmed when he started to pump two of his slender fingers into your wet heat, a growl leaving his lips, feeling how ready you already were.
He placed another agonising slow kiss to your parted lips before he cooed: “Shh, you don’t need to beg. I wanna feel you too. Every inch…I’ll take it slow baby. I don’t wanna rush.”
When you looked through your damp lashes you could see the love radiating from him so clearly, you felt like you could’ve almost touched it. His eyes never left yours when he slowly pressed into you, making you both gasp at the intensity of the moment, none of you daring to look away first. It was as if you would be afraid to miss even the tiniest bit of one another. When you couldn’t take it anymore you felt the tears well up in your eyes again, so you pulled him down to keep kissing and he started to move his hips.
It was unhurried and sweet and he made sure you felt every inch of him entering and leaving you over and over again. You felt like an angel in the white sheets of your kingsized bed with the rising sun now colouring the cozy bedroom in a golden light. All the time you stayed impossible close to each other. You wrapped all your limbs around him, to hold him close and he weaved one hand into your hair and used the other to keep himself upright so he wouldn’t crush you.
After a few minutes Noah buried his face into the crook of your neck, his breathing now coming more ragged when you slowly felt your orgasm approach.
“Noah, baby I think I’m close.” you announced with your eyes closed in pure bliss. At this words you could feel him twitch inside of you when he breathed: “Yeah I feel you getting there.” A second later he pulled himself up again so his forehead was almost pressed to yours and pleaded: “Look at me when you cum, angel. I wanna see your pretty eyes when you do so.”
That was all it took for you to snap. With eyes opened wide you could see his blown pupils watching every move your face made. The orgasm was intense and long but it was also soft in a way that it didn’t feel like a crazy explosion and more like riding on a long wave.
It only took seconds for Noah to follow a whispered “Fuck…” involuntary leaving his lips when you felt him tense inside of you, rocking his hips against you a few more times before he went still.
You both stayed like that for a while, his head now comfortably settled on your chest, listening to your heartbeat.
You absently let your hands wander over his shoulders and back as he held onto you, neither of you daring to speak, not wanting to destroy the peaceful cloud you were still floating on.
Only 1.5 months, you told yourself. It’ll be fine. You’ll both be fine.
Because even with everything going on with the band and Noah’s life you two never doubted the love you had for one another and you surely wouldn’t start that now just because his band became more famous.
It’ll be fine, you repeated in your head over and over again before you fell asleep again, the man you loved nestled between your thighs like that was the only place where he ever wanted to be in this lifetime.
———
taglist: @concretejunglefm @r3prise
I need a fucking miracle @givemesomethingbeautiful - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
