Welp I havent missed her in so long. One dream. A weird stupid dream. Just a ride and small talk. Ugghh. Well at least I cant walk or work rn so I have plenty of time to think lol I do hope she is happy in life. Part of me wants to just talk to her. Once. But I know thats probably a bad idea. So I wont attempt. The last time we did talk she messaged my fiance and myself. Like we can all just be friends. While my fiance was struggling to rebuild selfesteem and self worth and dealing with jealousy and feeling not good enough. I appreciate the transparency messaging us in a group but while I wouldnt lie or cheat and would tell her eventually I would have liked some kind of closure or last conversation. A pack of smokes and a porch and mature non emotional conversation like adults. But we dont get what we want in this life. We do what we can and move forward. Always forward. This fucking life man.
