HazeWasHere

࣪ ִֶָ𖤐🖤⋆˙✮Hi I'm Haze ｡𖦹°‧ she/they ✮18✮ tcc ｡𖦹°‧ This blog is for freaks and losers only.✮⋆˙🖤 ࣪ ִִֶָ ࣪𖤐

[luthienne]

“The wounded deer dragging its fainting limbs to some untrodden brake, there to gaze upon the arrow which had pierced it, and to die, was but a type of me.”

— Mary Shelley, from Frankenstein

[nippletwist]

Notes passed between Eric and Kristi Epling in German class

[sacredwhores]

"Why suffer? The seduction of suicide lies in its easy oblivion: in one second the whole absurd universe would crumble as if it were a gigantic facsimile, as if the solidity of its skyscrapers, its battleships, its tanks, its prisons, were nothing more than a mirage, as illusory as the skyscrapers, battleships, tanks, and prisons of a nightmare. In the light of this reasoning, life becomes a long nightmare, but one from which we can be liberated by death - which thus becomes a kind of awakening. But awakening to what? My indecisiveness about plunging into absolute and eternal nothingness had deterred me whenever I was tempted by suicide. In spite of everything, man clings desperately to existence and, ultimately, prefers to bear life's imperfections, the torment of its sordidness, rather than dispel the mirage through an act of will. It also happens that when we have reached the limits of despair that precede suicide, when we have exhausted the inventory of every evil and reached the point where evil is invincible, then any sign of goodness, however infinitesimal, becomes momentous, and we grasp for it as we would claw for a tree root to keep from hurtling into an abyss."

Ernesto Sabato, The Tunnel

[tankhall]

@expiredidealist ♡

[the-old-mayhem]

"After Hellhammer spoke to the cop, he let me through after an insane search. We went and took the train to Mayhem’s house. I had brought two bottles of ouzo from my house, and I had the misfortune of Hellhammer finding out about it on the train. As soon as he found out, he downed a bottle in one go, resulting in him being drunk by the time we arrived at their house. The other members of Mayhem weren’t home, as they had gone to Sweden to distribute some bootlegs. We arrived at the house around 8:30 [20:30], and Hellhammer was wildly drunk and smashing everything. He had grabbed a shotgun and was shooting at the streetlights." - Interview with Antonis Orologas from Desolation, Total rage zine no2, 1991 , part 2 🦇

(these were the two Greek guys who overstayed their welcome like Marcin, and were were mentioned by several Mayhem members because of it. Big thanks to the follower of ours who found the zine and translated it!)

@the.old.mayhem on instagram and WordPress

[the-old-mayhem]

"Since I felt it would be rather cliché to interview the Norwegian band Mayhem—and since both you and I would end up learning the same things from them—I decided it would be better to reach out to Desolation, a Greek band that has released a demo and a split CD with other bands, where two of their members—Antonis (vocals) and Vangelis (drums)—had met Mayhem in Norway. 

(...)

Day one. January 28, 1990. I left Greece at 9:30 in the morning and arrived in Norway at 2:30 [14:30], specifically in Oslo. They’d told me to take off my earrings and piercings because they’re a big deal there [in the sense that they're frowned upon]. As soon as I arrived at the airport, Vangelis, our drummer, was waiting for me. They wouldn’t let me through customs because I didn’t have enough money for them, and they wanted to send me back. The cop there insisted that I didn’t even have a place to stay. So Vangelis had to go to Mayhem’s house and call one of their members to talk to the cop. Here I should mention that to get from Oslo to Mayhem’s house, you have to take the train and spend a lot of time on it. I waited until 5:30 [17:30], when Vangelis finally arrived with Hellhammer"- Interview with Antonis Orologas from Desolation, Total rage zine #2, 1991 , part 1 🦇

(these were the two Greek guys who overstayed their welcome like Marcin, and were mentioned by several Mayhem members because of it. Big thanks to the follower of ours who found the zine and translated it! @azurescreen Also, these photos are from the zine, so, new ones!)

@the.old.mayhem on instagram and WordPress

[grlstlker]

just let me bite you a little

[hazewashere]

@swaggtt40

[02void]

Putney Vale Cemetery

[leaving-to-die-blog]

[everymeeveryyou]

this CHICK. marla singer. did Not. have Testicular Cancer.

[cry0spheree]

When I’m about to win the most parasocial person award but then Pelle0hlinsrealwife walks into the room so now I know I’m fucked

[k-i-l-l-e-r-b-e-e-6-9]

ℜ𝔢𝔭𝔲𝔩𝔰𝔦𝔬𝔫 (յգճՏ) 𝔡𝔦𝔯𝔢𝔠𝔱𝔢𝔡 𝔟𝔶 ℜ𝔬𝔪𝔞𝔫 𝔓𝔬𝔩𝔞𝔫𝔰𝔨𝔦

[ajetarts]

@tankhall in vienna by me

[the-old-mayhem]

"As depicted in the movie, Euronymous must have had no money, because five months had passed and they still hadn’t made any money. So I called to ask what was going on, and he said he might go to jail, which would slow down work and delay the release. There are all kinds of theories about that, so I don’t really know. Maybe he got into a fight in a bar and stabbed someone with a broken bottle.

Anyway, his tone was really dark. So I thought, This is a problem, if that happens, what will happen to us after we’ve worked so hard to record an album?” - Mirai Kawashima (Sigh) interviewed by Japanese publication Ward Media

@the.old.mayhem on instagram and WordPress

[sad-house-of-mortality]

nelio filipe - dusk

[verbix]

via

[anintimacy]

“Tonight I am all in flames.”

— Anaïs Nin, from a letter to Henry Miller featured in A Literate Passion: Letters Of Anaïs Nin & Henry Miller (1932 - 1953)