how i try to prevent myself from splitting
hi there! another advice post <3
i'm borderline, so things are super intense for me when this happens, but if you feel a similar way, this may help!
"splitting" means being unable to decide whether a person is good or bad, and usually leads to either thinking the person is completely good or (more often) completely bad. over the years, i've gotten better at noticing the signs, and have been able to hold long-term friendships with non-toxic people!
when someone does something you dislike, talk to them. it may seem scary, but often, you're overthinking
constantly remind yourself that it's okay to not like everything about someone. you don't even like everything about yourself.
try spending tome away from that person in the early stages, and come back when you're ready. i call this a "partial split"
try to have a lot of friends. this way, if one doesn't respond to your text, it's okay because you have a lot more. this helps me reduce the stress of over-analyzing a single person's behavior
if you have a therapist, talk to them about it. it's not a silly issue, trust me. a second perspective can be helpful
take a deep breath, paint, watch some youtube, or anything else to help you relax. splitting is often a byproduct of strong emotion
stay quiet instead of talking. this one can often be difficult, but stay at home or avoid your friends for a few days if you need to. it's possible that you're socially burnt out
friendships are crazy and often difficult to navigate, but it's important to take care of yourself and train yourself to have a healthy friendship style. these tips don't work all the time, and i've learned to accept the mistakes, but that doesn't stop me from trying to be better.
germansingergirl
turnnoffyourmind
titsay
yousharknotpass
gummygunk
vaporwave
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