❝ is ‘the light of your life’ a little too.. uh, self-centered? it could ring your bell, but i really don’t the door to get slammed in my face. cute, huh? call me cocky, but i’ll have no choice.. i’ll take it. after a shit ton of debating my options here, i’ve come to the decision that i’m way more of a kimberly. besides, kimberly is way better than plain ol’ jen. you see, it brings that element of surprise with you wherever you go. you don’t have to feel any way about it, yo, all you gotta do is embrace the new name. i haven’t told a lie since the third grade.. sorry. if he picks a fight with me, then ya’ better believe that i’m the first one to swing. you miss hundred percent of the shots you don’t take, johnny karate. the only problem here is everyone else, haven’t ya’ remembered that no one else really matters? just know that there’s going to be plenty of crying, but if not.. i’m probably sleeping halfway ‘cause i’m actually eighty years old. just know that i’m an avid batman fan, so i can technically use him in any sort of situation without sounding like an obsessed fanboy. i have to thank dc comics for this, honestly. you just said i wasn’t odd, why are ya’ playin’ with my feelings? there’s nothing wrong with it, everyone loves themselves a good bobble head. good to know that finally coming to terms with your nickname, love. even worse.. i’d rather be zendaya. are we, ms. steinfeld, are we.. really? there’s a little chance that i’m head over heels for this little present of yours, but you’ll never hear that from me. i’ll take it, don’t hate me. ❞
❝ eh, i’m just going to use the word confident instead along with the fact that it sounds like it should’ve come from the notebook or some movie like that. one of those cheesy ones with the completely unrealistic relationships. you really think lil ol’ me would ever slam the door in your face? yeah, cute. you’ve got a cute face. i’m not sure if that was an utterly random choice but -- you made the right one so i can keep you around. you should always be kimberly over any other pink power ranger and don’t let anyone tell you differently. i think i’m gonna get a hat with trash can embroidered on it. you think the idea could take off? i could start up a whole new brand based on this identity. neeks, surely you’re picking the fight if you throw the first punch, that’s why people always wait for the first hit -- because then you can claim self-defense. johnny karate? you say that, but i’m pretty awful at ignoring everyone else, that’s definitely not my talent. yo, you could take that the other way and say that you’re an infant, switch it up a lil’. some of those sleep forever, too. i’m just warning you that if you don’t watch it, i will invite myself over to sit on you and force you to get through all the episodes. i think i’ve only seen one batman movie so you’ll always seem like an obsessed fanboy to me. actually, i said that you managed to not sound too odd but that you’ll always sound at least a little bit odd, open up your ears, bud. everyone might love themselves a bobble head but everyone needs a trash can in their life. you bet we are, mr. tortorella. as classy as the queen at afternoon tea. zendaya is my baby, i love her. it’s honestly going to be one of the best presents you’ve ever received -- i’ll even watch hours of youtube tutorials to make sure it’s the best it could be.❞
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