[hcneyorchids]

wisteria1x1​:

          Autumn had grown up devoted to everything she wanted; anything she’d ever desired, she’d worked for. It tasted sweeter that way. No one could ever say she bought her way into anything. And despite her step-mom’s well-intentioned coddling and constant gift-giving, Autumn preferred it this way. And while Gallagher Girls wasn’t a part of her overall plan, it wasn’t something she was really against. It was a great show on a great show and a great chance to show off her years of dancing. What wasn’t so great was the way the producers and director had insisted on her training, like everyone else, with this Logan guy. I have my own trainer, thank you, she’d tried to say –– but it was over before it began. Autumn would be training with Logan Bradford first thing the next day. 

She showed up early, committing to at least trying to uphold her contract and sipped at her water, nibbling lightly at a protein bar that claimed muscles and loss of water weight in just two weeks! Yeah right. She rolled her eyes and let it sail into a nearby trashcan. “Doesn’t even taste good,” she complained to an empty room. Or what she thought was an empty room. 

He washed his towel over his face when he walked in from his previous session. He wore a stoic expression, throwing his duffel down and tossing the towel on top of it. As he unscrewed his water bottle, he nodded in her direction. “Good,” Logan commented. “You don’t need that shit.” His eyes flitted up and down, taking note of her before speaking. “You’re a dancer,” he noted. He took a seat on an exercise ball, his eyes pasted on her. “Let’s talk. Tell me what I need to know.”

[hcneyorchids]

wisteria1x1​:

hcneyorchids​:

Fleur’s eyes lifted, scanning Scarlet’s proximity with satisfaction. She’d won, as far as she was concerned. The anger Scarlet refused to echo in her voice was all too visible to Fleur. Perks of knowing a girl better than she knew herself, she thought. It was the reaction she’d been hunting for. 

Lifting herself off of the chair, she gently pushed against the arms Scarlet had cornered her with.  If they were doing this, they were doing it eye to eye. “You say all that,” she repeats, frowning with a look of pity. “And yet you pathetically followed him to Canada. Be careful. If he doesn’t file for a restraining order, his girlfriend might. Maybe it’s time you take a fucking hint?” She sighs, pushing back Scarlet’s hair. Her hand rests softly on her neck. “I’m just here to look out for you. Because I love you. You’re my best friend. It’s hard to see you like this.” 

—-

     It was hard to explain or justify her friendship with Fleur as anything other than symbiotic –– it was like drinking to get drunk; a buzz, a high –– mutually assured destruction. In many ways so similar and yet so different from the codependency of Scarlet and Luca. For one, Luca made Scarlet better –– Fleur only brought her down –– whether emotionally, or to her level –– either way, she brought her down. But at the end of the day, regardless of the bullshit, regardless of how she’d tried to fuck Luca, regardless of her fake-as-plastic persona, Fleur was her oldest friend outside of Luca. She could be the absolute worst ( which, considering Scarlet, was a feat ), but Scarlet was nothing if not loyal to her friends… small as the group was. 

Even smaller now that Luca had shut the doors on her. “ Maybe I followed you, not him, ” she said, if only to watch Fleur stumble. “ If it’s so hard, Fleur, why don’t you stop shoving the fucking knife in. I’m over Luca. I’m just here to work. Got it? ” 

[hcneyorchids]

wisteria1x1​:

hcneyorchids​:

A satisfied and rather smug smile settled onto Fleur’s lips, but it was the challenging ice reflected in her eyes that engaged in their silent battle. “Oh, but weren’t you?” Her eyebrow lifted, matching the defiant height of Scars before she shifted her expression into a few innocent blinks. Truth be told, she had felt real, unfiltered human emotion every time Scarlet had decided she was her own worst enemy. Once upon a time. With every reported unfollow had come a brewing fight or bouts of passive aggressiveness. Every time, she lost another token of her already limited empathy for her. Yet every time they engaged, she felt a fire set her skin aflame, an excitement that made her feel alive. “Anyway, what would I know. Luca didn’t tell me everything. It didn’t feel right asking him to talk about it when what he really needed was comfort, you know? I’m just thrilled you’re alright.” 

She wouldn’t glance at the hand Scarlet had taken hostage. Scar could dig her well manicured nails into her skin and Fleur still wouldn’t dare to give in, wouldn’t shift her eyes from the girls threatening gaze. They were playing a dangerous game, she intended to win. “Hm,” she hummed, her head falling into a slight tilt. “Absolutely. It takes a really strong woman to infiltrate the lives of the people that already moved on from her. It’s amazing, really. Putting yourself first like that. I’m sure we can all learn a thing or two from that strength.” 

—-

      “ You know, Fleur, you say all that and yet you’re still here. In my hotel room, on my couch, drinking my fucking water. ” Scarlet then stands, and walks over to the large window, currently with the heavy drapes drawn. She pulls them open, enough to view the street –– and the lack of reporters. Over her shoulder, she casts a look of triumph. “ Now if you’re not here because I invited you –– which I didn’t, of course, because unlike what you think… I don’t infiltrate the lives of anyone who doesn’t want me there –– and you’re not here for the headline grab… ” 

She wanders over, feet cloaked in socks that silence her steps on the rich varnished wood floor. Scarlet leans down, hands on either side of Fleur on the couch. Her voice is dove-soft, and belies nothing of the fury churning in her gut.  “ Why the fuck are you here? ”

[hcneyorchids]

wisteria1x1​:

hcneyorchids​:

“Oh, great.” Her words came out in a sharp chirp, one Fleur left designated for very specific people. “So you saw my tweets then? You were trending worldwide. Hashtag PrayForScarletLove. I mean, you must’ve. Look at you now. Brand spanking new.” She was such a good friend. If only Scarlet deserved an ounce of that friendship. 

Her eyes narrowed the slightest bit, but she left it at a simple nod. Scarlet Love could never be a different person. She was the same bitch she’d always been; Fleur hadn’t needed to see her to see that. “Of course! If I don’t, who will? That’s what best friends are for, babe. I am so proud of you. That takes a really big person.” She flashes another smile. “You’re better off anyway. Trust me. All men are pigs. It’s totally the right move to swear them off, especially given how fragile you are right now.” 

—-

        Oh, she’d seen the tweets. And laughed for about three minutes, before having a raging fit. And now Scarlet posed an eyebrow high above her shimmery lids and six hundred dollar lash extensions. “ It was very… sweet. Granted, it’s not like I was dying–– but sweet. ” Already she can’t wait until Fleur leaves, though a small part of her has lit up at this: the back and forth, the sparring with words and looks, and minuscule gestures. It’s good to have an opponent worthy of her. 

“ And it takes a really special woman to be happy for another woman’s success. ” It’s then that she takes Fleur’s skinny bird hands into her own and clasps them ––– tight. “ That’s really good advice. I’m just going to focus on myself right now. It’s just the right journey for me, you know? Not everyone can do it, but–– that’s just how fucking strong I am. ” 

[hcneyorchids]

wisteria1x1​:

hcneyorchids​:

“So,” Fleur cut in to their awkward silence, a smile as fake as every comment she left under Scarlet’s pictures tugging on her lips. “I didn’t realize you were taking the part.” Sympathy touched her eyes. It was probably sad, she thought, to realize the entire world was moving on without you. She couldn’t relate. “How are you doing? I can’t imagine it’s easy seeing, you know, Luca’s chemistry with Liana.” Sighing, she takes a small sip of her sparkling water. “I’m here for you. Did they let you use Twitter in rehab?” @wisteria1x1​

—-

       Fleur Cabot was full of shit. So much shit that Scar’s nose wrinkled when she heard who was waiting for her in the hotel lounge. Still, she allowed for her to come up. She’d thought… just for a second, it might be Luca. Well, it didn’t matter. She’d be seeing him on set a week from now. 

Scarlet plastered on a smile, but didn’t let the ice in her gaze cool one bit. “ Sometimes, ” she said, disregarding Fleur’s earlier comment. She’d gotten her nails done on the flight to Canada, and they sparkled, a deep, almost-black red. She tapped them against the glass table once, twice. “ And if you’re wondering if I know that Luca is dating someone else –– yes. And I’m fine with it. I’m a different person now. You understand. ” 

[hcneyorchids]

wisteria1x1​:

       Hollywood had a way of finding these girls: these uncut gems, as he’d heard the casting director at this studio say way too often. But there was nothing uncut about Liana Dalton, Theo decided. She was rough around the edges, in the way anyone who wasn’t A-list royalty was, but he didn’t think that was a bad thing. She was new; a breath of fresh, clean air. She certainly was nothing like the hot mess that Scarlet Love was –– everyone in the industry knew it. Child star went off the rails all the time; tragic, though nothing new. But Love was something else in terms of how shitty she could be to those around her. Her temper was known to bring grown men to tears. She was half the reason nobody with grit ever stuck through a job like this. And considering who was playing Liana’s love interest on this show… he sure fucking hoped she had some. Grit, that is. 

“ Of course! Let me tell you something you’re not going to hear from these guys ever: confidence is all you need in Hollywood. Act like you know what you’re doing and people will believe you. ” He’d learned that lesson fast –– in this industry you needed to show reliability, because otherwise? You could be replaced… and quickly. “ They ask me all the time where things should go and I just go with my gut most of the time. It usually works out. ” He grabs a cookie of his own and clinks it against her own. “ You always wanted to act? ” 

.

Charming. Maybe that was his thing. It didn’t fit quite right, but she’d figure it out eventually. He was good with people, though. He made it look so easy: talking. It wasn’t something Liana necessarily struggled with, but she lived in her head in new situations. She dissected every word, every movement, every facial expression and wondered who she should be in return. It was the curse of caring about what people think, she reminded herself.

Act like you know what you’re doing and people will believe you, he said. She took down that mental note. “That’s pretty good life advice,” she said with a small laugh. A smile touched her lips when he clinked his cookie against hers. “No,” she said honestly. “I wanted to be an astronaut until I was — eight? Maybe nine? I thought the moon was made of cheese. I love cheese.” She nodded along with her words before adding, “And then I played a tree in the school play and I forgot all about the moon.” 

[hcneyorchids]

wisteria1x1​:

       It took a second to remember that the world did not revolve around her drama with Luca and his former flame –– a second that came as pure relief. And knowing that there was at least one person who, either out of ignorance or choice, wasn’t buying into what the tabloids were all saying… Without knowing it, Liana, humble and innocent as she was, had done more to reassure her than any magazine article or advice column ever would. Anastasia smiled, appetite starting, slowly, to return. 

“ It’s fine. Just… everyone keeps looking at me like they pity me lately. I think it has to do with Scarlet Love coming here. It’s like a ticking time bomb…” She grabbed a piece of garlic bread and nearly moaned at the slightly salty, buttery taste. “ Have you met her yet? People say she can be really mean to cast and crew. ” But they also could not seem to stop raving about her acting talents; how Oscar-worthy she was, how she was the youngest child-star to win an Emmy in the last decade. It was all a little… much. 

“ Luca never talks about her. To me, at least. ”

.

Liana’s shoulders fell and a soft, reassuring smile lifted her lips. The tabloids had never interested her. Even as a teenager dreaming of acting in front of the big screen, she’d entirely missed the instant gratification of scrolling through celebrity gossip sites and combing through their social medias. She hadn’t missed Luca’s turbulent relationship with Scarlet, though. 

She put her fry down and her head fell into a slight tilt as she considered her words. Relationships were complicated. She knew that well. Exes could be even more complicated. She definitely knew that. “I think it’s hard,” she started, the words slowly leaving her lips as she considered the best way to put it. “Their relationship was obviously, like, a whirlwind. I think it’s hard to talk about that. Most of us get to leave our exes in the past. You bring them up on your own terms and your own time. It’s a conversation that isn’t forced by the press. I think he’ll talk about her when he’s ready. I know it’s scary, but I think he’s crazy about you. He probably just has a lot to think about, your feelings included. It sounds super complicated. So I don’t know a lot about her but I know a lot about you, so I can pretty confidently say that he’d be insane to let an ex come in the way of what you two have.” 

[hcneyorchids]

wisteria1x1​:

       “ So your sister is still in school? That’s uh… very impressive… ” 

Ana reached over to the center table, picking at the bowl of fries between them. She’d ordered a small spread –– explaining to Liana she wasn’t sure what she’d like –– and now that it was before her, felt too nervous to eat. On set, she’d made a few friends, but with the upcoming arrival of Scarlet Love next week, and the way Luca had seemed to clam up in anticipation, it was safe to say some nerves had broken free. It also didn’t help to see all the headlines circulating about the two when, as far as Anastasia knew, they hadn’t talked in over two months. 

“ Do you think I have something to be worried about? ” The subject change was whiplash quick. “ Sorry I just –– I can’t pretend it’s not all I’m thinking about… ” 

.

“Law school,” Liana nodded, biting down on a fry. “She wants to do, like, celebrity law? I don’t really know what it means, but Elena’s the smart one. Always has been.” She rambled on about her sister, almost blissfully unaware of Ana’s obvious internal turmoil. She never picked up on things like that. 

She paused mid-bite when Ana turned the conversation around on its heel. Her eyebrows furrowed together. She was missing something. She knew she was. “I’m sure you don’t,” she quickly offered before guiltily pausing. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what we’re talking about. Fill me in, I’m ready.”  

[hcneyorchids]

I shouldn’t have come here, she said.

He should’ve let her leave. But old habits died hard and he, who had never turned Maeve away before, wasn’t going to start now. Not today. 

“Hey... hey,” Aaron grabbed her arm. They’re on the porch. It’s dark but the stars and the porch lights provide them with warm brightness, shining in her hair. The deck was cluttered with toys he hadn’t had the time to clean up before work. “This is still your house,” he said firmly. They’d caught each other at the right time. He’d just pulled up into the driveway and she’d been waiting on the porch, likely debating whether or not she should knock. 

There was the realization that even now, after everything, they could go to each other. She could show up at his door and he’d still crumble at the sight of her eyes. Some things never changed. “You can come in. See the kids. They’re probably getting ready for bed.” He found a small smile to offer her, but with it he tucked his hands into his pockets. “You should come in.”

@wisteria1x1​

[hcneyorchids]

“Is this your way of asking me if I’m single?” A smug smile flexed across his face with a small kink of his eyebrow. He tossed a few fries into his mouth, studying Essie’s face with a gaze laced with nostalgia. How many times had they sat across from each other in this very booth, disgustingly in love, making sure everyone around them knew it? Atlas could almost pretend they were those kids again, but so much had changed, even that fantasy refused to linger. 

“Or is this your way of trying to convince me you don’t check up on me?” She’d definitely Googled him. There was no question in his mind. She probably even had an alert set up. The alternative being that she’d really, actually forgotten about him in a world where he was rarely ever forgotten was one he couldn’t entertain. He was teasing but there was that all too present awareness of how he’d never needed her to tell him exactly what she was thinking before. He’d never had to ask. God, this was pathetic. More than any paparazzi lurking around, he was afraid this would get back to Carter. He’d never hear the end of it. He’d deserve to never hear the end of it too. He’d pulled Carter’s phone out of his hands too many times, yelled frustratedly at his best friend to lose his guilt over Ros too many times, entertained far too many parties Carter wanted nothing to do with to force him back out there, on and forward from his high school sweetheart. As far as Atlas was concerned, Rosalind had been holding Carter back, chock full of some misplaced superiority because she didn’t have the guts to take the same leap they did. She had the audacity to call them sellouts and yet she was exactly where she had been four years ago in their quiet town.

That sounded like a death sentence to Atlas. It was why, even with all of the hurt that came with it, he’d stayed with the band when Essie decided to leave. He had dreams and they were big and as many consequences as there were for the life he was living, he loved it. He loved the adrenaline that rushed through him before starting a show, he loved the sense of calm he felt on stage, he loved the overwhelming emotion of feeling one with the audience. That wasn’t something he wanted to give up. @wisteria1x1 

[hcneyorchids]

wisteria1x1​:

         It had been a bad one, this time. Worse than usual. Vena could taste rust, blood seeming to coat her throat from the pure adrenaline. Waiting off stage was her personal assistant –– one she’d claimed she hadn’t needed, but now gratefully accepted a bottle of water, a pair of sound-proof headphones, and in case things were really bad, her inhaler from. Beside her stood Sam. She flashed him an unsteady smile, and held up a finger. She heard the boys behind her, about to approach, and shook her head at all of them, silently slipping away to some darkened corner back stage, headphones already on. The utter quiet helped, immensely. She focused on slowing her breathing. Her assistant, Katie, approached with a banana, and Vena quietly thanked her before slowly devouring it. The protein helped, fat and sugar helping keep her shaky legs from giving out. And sure enough, her heartbeat was back to normal, no stutters in sight. 

By then, Carter and Atlas were on the tour bus, leaving the staff to pack up still. Sam was still waiting for her by the sound board. The headphones around her neck, she tapped him on the shoulder. “ You didn’t have to wait for me. It wasn’t that bad, ” she lied. “ So, how were we tonight? ” 

@hcneyorchids​

“Of course I had to wait for you,” Sam said, his tone echoing his sentiments of believing her statement was ridiculous. He always waited. Waiting, he wanted to say, was him reeling it in. He ached to sit next to her, to hold her hand in his while her body fought against itself. But that was comfort designated for a boyfriend, which he was absolutely not. 

He studied her face, wondering if he should push it. “On a scale of 1 to 10, how big of a lie is that?” 

His sister would kill him if she found out he’d considered dropping Afterthought. She’d walked in the door, their newest addition, and he’d considered it right then and there. Nope, can’t handle any more artists, we’re full, jam packed, can’t put more pressure on the team. It had been a thought that had run through his head quickly, for a split second, before he shook it off and shook her hand instead. Every now and then, it would show its face again, but it was easier to shake it off every time. Vena didn’t need anyone to take care of her, she’d made it abundantly clear -- to the point where Carter Reinhart, bleeding heart, even knew to give her time alone after every show. But that didn’t mean he didn’t want to be a part of it when she was hurting. 

He grins. “Great. As usual. You don’t need me to tell you that. You always know when it’s a good show.” He pauses. “Carter and Atlas are on the bus. You hungry?” 

[hcneyorchids]

wisteria1x1​:

      Tally walked with her signed books swinging a comfortable weight against her legs. The black beaded bag hanging from her shoulders was comically large, if to hold all the memorabilia she’d shyly asked Fallon’s mother to sign, if she had a free moment, please and thank you. And as much as she wanted to forgo Fallon’s involvement, she knew she wouldn’t have had the chance to meet her were it not for him. She didn’t know for sure if inviting her had been a ploy to get her on as close to a date as possible, or a genuine act of kindness ( maybe both, knowing him? ) but she couldn’t bring herself to care either way. She walked on a small high, smiling to herself, because despite her apprehension –– dinner with them had been… fun. 

And more worryingly, so had the time she’d spent with Fallon while his mom was in the bathroom, or on a call with her editor. She hated that she liked the way he interacted with his mom. She’d always thought the way someone behaved around their family said a lot –– either about the dynamic itself, or about the person. Tally didn’t stop to wonder what an interaction with her own mom might reveal about herself. 

She glanced over her shoulder, finding Fallon many steps behind. Sighing, she rounded back, her heavy platform boots shuffling on the pavement. “ I guess I should say thank you for tonight. For inviting me. Not sure why you did, but I’m glad. Your mom, if I haven’t said so, is so cool. ” She had said so. A lot. “ What’s it like having a famous author for a mom. ” Tally looked up at him, the streetlamp’s amber light catching on the sweep of his hair. “ She goes on tour a lot. Is that… What’s that like? ” 

.

“What’s that?” Fallon asked, leaning forward with his hands tucked into his pockets. He had the right, he felt, to be a little more obnoxious than usual. The dinner had put them on equal footing. She’d think he wouldn’t notice, but he saw the light of delight in Tally’s eyes as she sat across his mother wide eyed, he saw the foreign softness in her eyes as she took part in their banter as if she’d been a part of their lives forever. It was softness for him. She could deny it all she wanted, but their fleeting eye contact in the midst of bellied laughs was impossible to mistake. 

“I invited you because of this,” he called, gesturing at her face in circles, taking a step toward her, meeting her in the middle. He’d never seen her like this before; she’d never let him. But as he took another step towards her, he knew whatever he’d meant to say by that would scare her off faster than a cat caught in the headlights. Instead, he said: “Because now you owe me.” 

Fallon smiled at her question, moving his head and looking away from her expectant gaze. He shook his head. “It’s my turn, Jackson. I gave you dinner with your favorite author. It’s my turn to call the shots. Ask me again in an hour.”

[hcneyorchids]

“Let me guess,” Luca rolled his eyes at his brother. “You saw the headlines. You could’ve called.” He didn’t want to talk about Ana. Talking about Ana, to Gabe especially, meant talking about how great it is that he finally broke shit off with Scar. But mostly, there was security in having something for himself, in having Ana for himself in a way he’d never had anything for himself. “Let’s talk about you instead. How’s work? Bet you have a fun story.” @wisteria1x1​

[hcneyorchids]

wisteria1x1​:

           Pinch her, was she dreaming? Success felt like an overnight thing, like making a wish on a shooting star and waking up to find it had come true. But Ana knew that wasn’t right: she’d been lucky, waiting far less than most for her big break in the industry, but she’d also worked hard, biding her time, picking up whatever shitty jobs came her way. In London, she’d starred and acted in major productions: Hamlet, Streetcar, even had small parts in the West End, singing. But California was different. They would begin shooting in a month in Ontario, but for now, Ana was busy packing up her necessities, and getting to know the people who she would spend the next six months with. She had lunch planned with Liana Dalton, a relative new-comer to the scene next week. 

She hadn’t planned to ask out Luca Mccoy They’d been at a chemistry read together, before she’d been firmly selected for Macey Mchenry –– he’d already been locked in as the star’s love interest, but there was still uncertainty around her. Their chemistry was easy and comfortable, so said the casting producers, but Ana was too perfect as Macey. Still, after the read, she’d had to ask him out. Joking, mostly, but with the small chance that maybe he’d say yes and hoping he would. 

And he did. And now they were at a frozen yogurt store together, Ana gently teasing Luca about his paparazzi disguise, as if she didn’t have an equally goofy baseball cap slung over her head. “ You have to go in with the toppings. I know that’s how they get you, but I simply cannot resist their call. ” Indeed, her cup was about a pound alone with all the toppings over it. “ No coconut though –– absolutely hate the taste and texture of it. ” 

@hcneyorchids​

Moving on was never easy. Moving on from Scarlet Love was a version of impossible Luca couldn’t escape if he wanted to. Reddit threads would conspire about their relationship twenty years in the future, regardless of potential spouses and children with other people. The tabloids would never forget their childhood romance, off and on, their dramatics pulling in money from every corner of Hollywood. Social media would likely never cease to tag the two of them in fan edits that might one day shift from painful to annoying. If there wasn’t so much profit that came from their toxic pattern, their constant heartbreak, Luca wondered if their parents would have put a stop to it years ago. He wondered if he would’ve cared about their valid hypothetical concern.

Probably not. There was no Luca McCoy without Scarlet Love. 

Anastasia McCoullough came like a breath of fresh air. Their banter flowed with ease, a smile everlasting on his lips that he didn’t have to tug up himself, and it had taken almost no thought on his part when she’d subsequently asked him out. Her confidence was enthralling, even in a room chock full of confident women. 

It was probably a good thing Liana Dalton was their final decision for the part of Cameron Morgan. 

Luca tipped his baseball cap down, the smile poking out on the corners of his lips visible only to Ana. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d genuinely laughed this much. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt normal. He’d never experienced the shelter of a private relationship -- this wasn’t that. It was just a date. But he surprised himself with how open he already was to the thought. 

“What? No. Coconut’s a must,” he says, piling on two spoon fulls into his own cup. “I think if you want to eat candy, just eat candy. Doesn’t belong on froyo. Two good things doesn’t equal a third good thing.” 

[hcneyorchids]

wisteria1x1​:

        Arabella’s fingers had stilled on her lap, itching to reach for the radio knob, to fill the silence with something –- but she was trained to freeze and wait, to be watchful and statue-still. She heard the pain in Richard’s voice, her gaze seeking him out. She breathed in, and exhaled, voice steady, “ Your mother was… that is to say –– I thought she was… a good person. A good ruler. ” They both knew that was one hell of an understatement. Queen Odette, may she rest in peace, was beloved by her people: their own version of Princess Diana. She was fair as she was just, and wise beyond her years. Arabella had not known her personally, but she often wished she had, if only to firmly reassure Richard that his mother would be proud of him. 

She’d wanted to have a few words with Cadence after their fight, but was halted by reason. She couldn’t be there to protect Richard if she was fired, regardless of her undying loyalty to the royal family. 

“ I think… ” She turned, torso twisting to face him. “ I think you’re doing your best. Your mother was one in a million –– and you’re only human. It’s unfair to compare you two. ” Her hand hovered above her knee, fingers reaching for his face, before fluttering back down. “ I think you’re a better man now, Richard, than the one I first met years ago. ” 

.

His best wasn’t good enough. Her words didn’t make him feel better, only sunk that deep rooted fear further into his stomach. He moved to study the expression on Arabella’s face. He felt stupid for bringing it up in the first place. She’d either be honest, as she had been, and it would only confirm the words his little sister had spit out at him, or she’d lie, offer him words like a bandage they both knew was barely temporary.

He might be a better man but he was not a man fit to rule, at least not yet. It all went over his head. He’d spent so much of his youth neglecting the possibility that one day he might be forced to burden that responsibility, he’d neglected learning, and while he knew his father was a shame to his mother’s name and legacy, he couldn’t be sure that he wouldn’t be as well. 

If he was a better man, maybe his effort should have included finding something, a loophole, that might let Cadence have a shot at the crown. If any of them could live up to the former queen, it was Cadence Rochester. 

“What if I said I didn’t want it?” He’d never said it out loud. He wasn’t at liberty to say it out loud. He felt the guilt set in as soon as he made his admission. His father, if he could be called one, was tearing his mothers legacies to shreds. Did not wanting the responsibility mean he was alright with it?

He shakes his head, as if suddenly overcome with the realization that this was not a conversation Arabella likely wanted to have with him. She was his bodyguard, not a friend, not more. That was a line he often forgot he couldn’t cross. She was the only one he was confident was on his team. A smile follows, attempting to brush off the consequence of his question. 

“I think you should consider letting me drive again.”

[hcneyorchids]

wisteria1x1​:

        The staff shirt they’d provided had been a size too small, but Theo had made it work. He’d taken off the sleeves, and could move around better now. It was a good thing most people were too preoccupied with setting up cameras and shit to focus on him –– he was supposed to be setting up the set for the fourth scene of the day but craft services had just set out their lunch spread… what, was he supposed to ignore it? 

He grinned at the blonde beside him, recognizing her as the star of the show after a moment. “ You’re doing just fine. I’ve worked on a bunch of sets like these, and trust me –– it’s not just the actors who act. Everyone’s pretending they know what they’re doing.” He wiped off his hand and offered it. “ I’m Theo. Assistant set designer. ” 

.

Liana glanced at his hand, a smile immediately playing on her lips. He had a thing about him. It was the best way she could think to describe it -- a thing. Her nerves were already floating past her, satisfied with the stop they’d made in her gut. “Theo,” she repeated, as if locking it away in a vault to remember for their next interaction. She was already looking forward to it. Was that weird? That was kind of weird, she insisted. Elena would call her hopeless. 

But he had a thing about him. She always did this. She hadn’t even introduced herself and she’d already come up with excuses to see him. Why her twin sister kept popping into her head, rolling her eyes, she didn’t know. But she knew that she hated it. 

“Liana,” she returned, extending her arm out to shake the hand he’d probably held out for a little too long. She took another bite of the cookie; it gave her something to do. “So, are you?” She lifts her eyebrow. “Pretending?”

[hcneyorchids]

wisteria1x1​:

          James was full of little insightful things like that. When they’d first met, she couldn’t stand it. It would infuriate her, the way he was so kind, and patient, and wise beyond his years. She’d been comfortable around the resentment of her mother, and the grieving anger of her father, both of which didn’t blame Lily for Ash’s death, but wanted her to be okay then, and not later. The patience that had run out from her professors and her friends was what felt right ––– a kind of punishing. But James hadn’t been like that, and now, she’d come to expect it and look forward to his little isms, and the way they made her feel. 

“ Oh, really? ” Her eyebrows perked up, sensing a challenge in his words. “ I’m curious now what Bourbon James looks like. ” Her expression into something like wistfulness. “ I don’t know. I think perfect is nice. It’s like… even before… Ash died. I’ve always been kind of a mess. Not like, anything crazy but. I don’t know. I’d kill for boring. ” She tore into her napkin, shredding it to avoid James’ eyes, like she’d said too much. “ But anyway. What’s uh –– new with you? ” 

.

“Bourbon James is a James you’ve gotta earn,” he replies pointedly. “Only few have the honor.” Truthfully, a big part of him struggled to let go even under the influence of alcohol. For someone so hellbent on breaking down the walls of every person he encountered, James had a few too many up of his own. He didn’t feel the immense pressure to keep them up around Lily, but there were a few that he couldn’t even dissipate in his own company. 

He smiles. There’s a softness to it, one carrying more words than he could ever think to actually say. Perhaps it yearned to tell her she wouldn’t kill for perfect if she knew what it was meant to feel like. Perhaps it said she already was perfect in ways so much brighter, so much sunnier, than the perfect she thought she wanted to be. 

Instead, he slips in a chuckle. He feels a short pang in his chest. “I didn’t know him,” he leans forward, “but something tells me Ash would probably like that version of you a lot better than one you think is perfect.” His eyes remain stagnant on the napkin enduring her wrath, his hands itching to take hers. His need to fix was so entirely narcissistic, he thought, as if he had that power. He shakes his head, his eyes trailing back to her face. “I actually wanted to talk to you about Cat,” he suddenly remembers. That had been the entire point. “I wanted to do something nice for her. I’m just kind of lost. I think I tend to do a little too much for her taste,” he smiles. “Always freaks her out.”