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One Nice Bug Per Day
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Misplaced Lens Cap
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@headcanonfortress
*shyly slides into your ask box* I have a headcanon for sniper learning to read lips and no one to discuss it with. Halp.
im with you.
im seeing him up in his bird nest watching people thru the scope waiting for the target to arrive or for the perfect shot to line up and hes just muttering along with their mouths making up conversations...
The mercs as husbands (and whatever Pyro would be), please?
Medic: distant. serious. very ‘Head of the Family”. will expect his partner to be sitting at home waiting. brings gifts to appease them for his absence
Soldier: acts like he is in charge and knows whats going on but really his partner is in charge and soldier always looks to them before he makes any choice. BBQ husband.
Heavy: Attentive. always remembers anniversary. brings flowers home from work. doesnt like talking about work.
Demo: party husband. likes to have dinner parties and go out in public with his SO and have double dates with friends. really exciting and attentive. listens to everything and remembers everything.
Spy: very two sided. on one hand very attentive and likes to do all of the romantic stuff but will disappear and does his own thing and SO is not allowed to even wonder what he is doing. if they ask he gets mad.
Scout: young and confused husband and the SO is the one to do all of the adult things but is always there to make SO laugh and be supportive but because of his chlldishness sometimes is a little unobservant.
Sniper: best husband. kinda clingy. only wants to to spend time with SO alone and cuddles a lot.
Engie: dominant and always knows better. but likes to spend time with SO and sit on the porch and have a glass of iced tea as the sun goes down. but expects SO to trust that he knows better and that SO go along with what he wants.
Pyro: 100% best husband. will always be there. kills for for you. brings home heads of shitty customer service rep. that bothered SO.
So I saw your headcanon on Scout being a young father (which I ADORE to bits and pieces), and it got me wondering... how would Spy react to becoming a grandfather?
questions for answering quickly for que (this shit about me)
Do you prefer writing with black or blue pen? Black
Would you prefer to live in the country or the city? Country but near the city so i can do stuff
If you could learn a new skill, what would it be? Drums or bass guitar...
Do you drink your tea or coffee with sugar? 2 sugars and a spash of milk
What was your favourite book as a child? anything Tolkien
Do you prefer baths or showers? Baths
If you could be a mythical creature, which would you choose? Dragon
Do you prefer reading paper or electronic books? paper
What is your favourite item of clothing? combat boots
Do you like your name? Would you ever change it? i would have liked to have been Elizabeth or Victoria. my mom wanted me to have an English name and i ended up with Amanda....
Who is a mentor to you? my....dad?
Would you ever want to be famous? If so, what for? yes. i dont care. give me fame.
Are you a restless sleeper? im like the dead
Do you consider yourself a romantic? deep. deep down.
Which element best represents you? a really warm rock. with lizards living under it.
Who do you want to be closer to? the butt of Richard Armitage
Do you miss someone at the moment? no.
Tell us about an early childhood memory. i cut open my finger on a nail and instead of putting on a band aid i took the opportunity to decorate my walls with satanic shit i saw in a movie. i was 5.
What is the strangest thing you have eaten? your moms pussy
What can you see outside your bedroom window? nothing its dark.
What are you most thankful for? the internet
Do you like spicy food? i actually do. but it makes me shit fire so i dont eat it normally.
Have you ever met someone famous? a lot actually.
Do you keep a diary or journal? i want to.
Do you prefer to use pen or pencil? writing a pen, drawing a pencil
What is your star sign? Aries (sun on Virgo)
Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? SOGGY
What would you want your legacy to be? that i had a good time
Do you like reading? What was the last thing you read? i used to... then college happened.
How do you show someone you love them? im mean to them until i drink enough to cry on their lap and tell them i like them
Do you like ice in your drinks? no.
What are you afraid of? pigs
What is your favourite scent? vanilla
Do you address older people by their first or last name? first
If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? watch metalocalypse
Do you prefer swimming in pools or in the ocean? pools. the ocean is where evil lives
What would you do if you found $50 on the ground? buy 50 McChickens
Have you ever seen a shooting star? Did you make a wish? yes.
What is one thing you would want to teach your children? how to find the clitoris.
If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? i have tattoos. they would be what they are exactly in the same places
What can you hear right now? the two old dudes speaking spanish and drilling holes in my floor because their is a leak under my apartment.
Where do you feel the safest? in the bathroom
What is one thing you want to overcome/conquer? poverty.
If you could travel back to any era, which would you choose? the 80s
What is your most used emoji? eggplant
What is your favourite season? Why? winter/fall
How would you spend your ideal day? in a alcohol and drug induced coma, covered in puppies
Describe yourself using one word. fuck.
What do you regret the most? not becoming a drug dealer
Invent your own word. What does it mean? Derowele...ner?... that feeling you get when you take a really big shit and suddenly your like 50 lbs lighter.
If the mercs were at a wedding, what kind of tactics would they use to catch the grand bouquet?
view any round of Capture the Flag and there you go.
I saw your "Pyro likes showers" headcanon and my immediate thought was it would probably be because he wants out asap. I don't really think he'd take too kindly to water in any form.
obviously youve never heard of Pyro Shark
How would each merc react to riding a horse for the first time?
all of them.
no one can ride the first time on a horse.
If the mercs played DnD together, what class and race combination would they each be?
Medic: Human, Wizard, Outlander
Soldier: Half Orc, Paladin, Soldier
Heavy: Half Orc, Bard, Noble
Demo: Dragonborn, Fighter, Criminal
Spy: Wood Elf, Rogue, Criminal
Scout: Lightfoot Halfling, Fighter, Criminal
Sniper: Wood Elf, Bard, Urchin
Engie: Human, Cleric, Hermit
Pyro: Half Elf, Ranger, Acolyte
How would the Mercs be with a Daughter? What are they like?
Medic: The Dad Who Takes Things Just A Little Too Far Sometimes…
Soldier: The Overprotective Dad
Heavy: The Emotional Dad Who Will Most Definitely Cry At Your Graduation/Wedding/Etc
Demo: The Dad Who Will Embarrass You With His Dance Moves
Spy: The Trendy Dad
Scout: The “Cool” Dad
Sniper: The Dad Who Teases You All The Time
Engie: The Dad Who’s Better At Technology Than You Are
Pyro: The Intimidating Dad
its the same with a son or daughter... though most of them would be a little more distant and confused how to connect with a daughter
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Hi :) My question is... Which female item of clothing istheir favourite. Maybe Mercs like wear this? 😈
Medic: hes really into spanks.
Soldier: knee high boots
Heavy: bras. all of the bras.
Demo: garter belts.
Spy: womens cut suits.
Scout: yoga pants. praise.
Sniper: button up shirts. especially when tied in a knot over their stomach.
Engie: its not really a womens clothing item but when women wear really big socks...
Pyro: hair ribbons
How would the mercs be in bed😉
Laying down probably.
How would the mercs act with a short s/o who's like 4'11. Would they prefer the sweet and kind short or the angry 'mention my height and I'll punch you in the dick' kind of short or the short that wants to carried?
Medic: loves the opportunity to use science to stretch their legsScout: uses their head as a baseball TDemo: loves them because they make the beer fridge look like a normal fridgeEngie: they can crawl into small places he cant.Heavy: is terrified hes going to step on them. Calls s/o Boots...because they are always under boot.Soldier: uses them as a backpack while he runs.Spy: they are a great asset. No one expects an attack from so low down.Sniper: its great cause he can rest hes rifle on their head/back while they blow him. Pyro: thinks they are just another stuffed toy.
Every time I see you make a post it's the first notif I click
It better be.
i just want to say that i saw ur post about how you like muscular scout batter than thin teenage scout, and i have to say i agree. it would be more realistic because he does run around all day and swing a baseball bat. and from all my nearly 12 years of playing girls baseball i do know it takes a lot of arm power and strength to keep up the same Good Swing for two or three hours, i can't even imagine what it would be like swingin it around all day long, killing people
art thou deceased?
I LIVE AGAIN!!!!
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Mercenaries reactions to all of Medic's doves suddenly turning into a swarm of children, insisting that Medic is now their father?
The real suprise is when the children lay human sized eggs.