ellievsbear
★
blake kathryn
YOU ARE THE REASON
Today's Document
noise dept.
Kaledo Art
Game of Thrones Daily
Peter Solarz
Claire Keane
Keni
PR's Tumblrdome
$LAYYYTER
KIROKAZE
No title available
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
@theartofmadeline
Stranger Things
we're not kids anymore.
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
seen from United States
seen from Argentina
seen from United States
seen from Mongolia
seen from Germany
seen from Syria
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Pakistan
seen from United States
seen from Brazil
seen from Canada
seen from Malaysia
seen from Argentina
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@headinthecloudsxblog
"I am more broken down than recovered. An empty vessel, still intact yet already in the dust among the broken fragments; or already in fragments yet still ranged among those that are intact. Full of lies, hate, and envy. Full of incompetence, stupidity, thickheadedness. Full of laziness, weakness, and helplessness."
– Franz Kafka, Diary Entry for 6 August 1914
There's nowhere left to hide.
Every path, every turn, every exit
A secret maze.
Stuck in a labyrinth.
FIND YOUR TRUE NORTH!
every move and every step,
is a step further from north
leading me south.
Direction with no map
No compass.
No exit.
There's nowhere to hide,
nowhere to run to,
nothing to find and
nowhere to be found.
I'm lost
It's time to accept it...
I'm lost.
The sunsets and the sunrises. That's the one thing that you can be sure of. Everything else seems to wither away, but I'm forever sure that the sun will set and the sun will rise again.
Round and round
The pixie flew
Over the trees
and
under the sky
Over the stars
and
below the seas
Rivers and streams, lakes and dams
Waterfalls and lily's,
The pixie so silly
Round and round
The Pixie flew
then one day
As bright as dawn
the slice of brawn
Was turned to lawn
The Pixie was found
Wounded and sound
On the ground
She was bound to drown.
El.
Are you happy? Are your days filled with sunshine ? The days glisten and glow. And rainbows give promises of better tomorrow's. Are you smiling ? Is that frown turned upside down?
Also sometimes you just really want them to want you. Nothing else. That's all the limerence is about. You wanting them to want you. You don't really want them.
So like I don't know what it's called and/or why but I've just realised that I really just like my friends romantically but in a platonic way. Like I wanna get to know them romantically but platonically. I don't know if this makes sense. I am in love with them but platonically and in a way I don't think I've ever realised until now. I want to hang out with you and hold your hands and cuddle and sleep and get to know you deeply in a way that is so intimate. But yet still platonic.
Unfortunately everytime I've ever tried to do that. I've given off the wrong idea and got myself in very sticky situations. I don't know why or how the message gets twisted but I guess it's the romance of it all ? But at the same time why not romanticise it all ? Like why can't i love you fully the way I love my spouse or significant other. I love you. Platonically but deeply and intimately. Why can't I just express that love ? Idk guys. I'm just thinking but hey.
If you had to write about love and friendship would you run out of things to say or would your ink be more than enough, sufficient to many and even yourself ? I find myself back at step one yearning and yearning for the love and wonder and kindness and gentleness and generosity surrounded by grace that could ever come from friendship. As I watch my friendships wither away and fade as it comes and goes. I find myself gently reminding myself that this is all part of the phase of life. Things come and go and things end. And just like the moon becomes new again and then full, so will I. New friends will blossom and bloom like the spring and I just need to remain patient in the winters of friendship and love.
This town always makes me feel like I'm not real. All my wildest dreams and my nightmares have all come alive in this town and it's so odd. My life feels more magical and surreal the good and the bad parts. It's all so much. Emotions. Filled with grief and joy and it's such a paradox in itself because I hate it here so much but I don't wanna go ? Idk. I just...
#I'm probably just ranting.
Twinkle twinkle little star
Your eyes are as bright
as the moonlight sky
If your eyes
ever locked in with mine
Desire and fire
Is all that shines.
#sillygoosegirl #sillypoems
My alarm clock started talking to me and he said. It's time.
Time for what I ask.
It's time for you to get your life together
Together ? I asked.
I am an infinite soul. A timeless being. I replied.
Yet
You age as every second passes and you grow with every movement I make. He explained. In as much as you're a timeless being you're also a depreciating self dying more and more as the winters pass away. There's a season for everything but you've been in winter hibernation 2 years running. When will the slumber end and your spring of new roots emerge.
But the darkness keeps me safe
Its just an illusion he replied. An illusion you've created for yourself yes.
No. It's how I've survived all this time.
Don't mistake your slumber for life. The dead leaves on a tree fall off and in the cold winters the seeds tremble and shake to remove all debris and create a new self.
When will you escape this cocoon you've created within ? You're bursting at the seams.
Father time all I'm asking for is more time.
But you see
There is no more time. The time is now.
Fly little girl.
Enemies to lovers or lovers to enemies. Which one floats your boat?
Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Gentle Spirit
I really am trying to be better. And I'm actively working on it. And in doing so I've also realised that some parts of myself even though I've done the work, can still get triggered and force me to behave in ways that I wouldn't be proud of.
However, no matter the journey, the people, the memories. It all counts for nothing if I don't actually change behavior. And all that the human psyche really is, is the behavior one projects.
What's inside reveals itself on the outside. Human body is just a window between the human soul and the external world. And your human mind is the projector.
All it boils down to is, what am i showing the world? And is that a movie I would wanna watch again and again, no pauses, no skips. A movie I will be so damn bold and proud to stand beside and say. Oh hell yes. This is all me. I did all that.
At the moment. That list is running fairly short.
#PSA#am not an expert on the things I write about. #I just explore them on here. #I love writing. #I still don't know how these work. #tumblr #thinkingpiece
I've exhausted all knowledge and desire for all things that I may come across.
As the one thing that remains constant you're also the one thing that's wavering.
Am I forcing growth or should growth stumble upon me like a little seedling coming from the deep crevices of cement.
I find myself dreaming of you but what good will that dream be if in reality I don't have you.
Nostalgia. I think that's what they call it.
Of you. Your touch. Your body. Your smile and all there is behind you and within you.
Inside jokes created. Turned into no laughing matter. Jokes hide true intentions.
Intentions. Intent.
Nietsche claims without intention one lacks all values because without one true value one grows to form ressentimont.
Cognitive dissonance.
Can a lover be the cause of cognitive dissonance? I am split in half by the ideas of what I wish to do to you yet the idea of what I am currently doing do not ressemble me.
My ideology and my actions split.
Like myself and my being.
A separation of human mind and human soul and human body. 3 distinct entities that are embodied in one.
The father the son and the holy spirit.
You are a lover, a friend and a better half.
As a lover I feel you deserve better and more than I could ever give and all I wish and desire for you is just peace and love.
But as a friend and someone who has come to know you I know peace and love although may be part of that desire our irrational thoughts and ideas
Toxicity and poison
our premise of what true love is.
Divergent.
Different.
Far from typical.
Neither is the love I once showed. Now I cry in despair.
For in an attempt to make thee my lover. I've shown all the broken pieces within my heart and a damaged soul so unlovable my own mother despises me.
I had hoped and dreamed that a girl like you could love me and fix me and make me whole. How shameful of me to desire a love so raw not even I can fulfill.
We meet each other as far as we can meet ourselves. Am I as shallow as I seem ?
Thoughts and wonder possess Me as I come to the realization that indeed. One in everything is one in nothing
You can't be everything for by being everything you lack depth.
A lack of depth
Just an empty space.
Like my life without you in it.
!!! I just figured out how to respond to comments and stuff. I feel so accomplished 🥹🥹🫶
I have found a far worse feeling than the one that shame bores. His name is guilt.
