Sarah Elizabeth

MI -> GA -> IL -> CO>KCMO

[healingdoesntcomequickly]

I’m in a fucking mood but don’t want to tell any of my friends cause I don’t want them to judge me and call me a dumb bitch like I’m acting

[1980vibes]

[healingdoesntcomequickly]

“Am I repentant or just a perfecter of my craft being a writer closes me in within a paradox nay being a human closes me in within a paradox of questioning whether my heart is contrite if it is as repentant as the words coming from my lips because though the mouth is the overflow of the heart my tongue can be deceived split in two like the serpent who first deceived me bringing life and bringing death from these lips than who is not to say it will bring both truth and lies about it’s faulty condition Am I repentant or just a perfecter of my craft of continuing to place a facade of self-preseveration before my peers attempting to portray the image which I desire to give if i am being fully honest not always are my desires to magnify the imagiodei And today I woke up foreign to my own skin because it was a temple treated like a garbage dispensary for anyone to discard their trash or treasures an old friend once called herself the proverbs five woman though she’s supposed to be a proverbs 31 and i felt that statement in the very depth of my bones the heart leads way to folly - I don’t believe in trusting it anymore but the spirit leads way into excellence god I am screaming out to hear your voice dear lord don’t let me be a perfecter of my craft if it puts anymore distance between those that love me and those I am learning to love because that’s not something my hands do an adequate enough job of on their own my mother and father are fifteen hundred miles that I drove between them and myself whether they are physical miles or the very separation I have caused by my own mistakes king jesus don’t let me keep making these same mistakes you say they aren’t mistakes when i am willing to learn from them you keep uttering into my ear how all of this is about redeeming if repentance is the seed than god redemption is going to give way into most beautiful flower i’ve ever seen”

— 7/16/2016

[healingdoesntcomequickly]

.

[healingdoesntcomequickly]

What’s terrifying is how utterly convinced I am that no one loves me

[healingdoesntcomequickly]

I still think about dying

[gilmorescreencaps]

[olearypoetry]

[healingdoesntcomequickly]

Time for me to cut my own skin again and pretend it’s healthy coping

[frogmunist-deactivated20190724]

job applications are like

Would you be willing to come in on weekends? Would you be willing to come in on holidays? Would you be willing to come in on the day of your mother’s death? How about your grandmother’s? and then on one of your days off, if we were to call you then, would you be willing to come in also on those days?

[jehovahhthickness]

Don’t plant the seed if you’re gonna neglect the plant

[goldenjadie]

That’s really why relationship end

[andhumanslovedstories]

So I came home from work today and there was a kindle addressed to me that I did not remember ordering. I spent the afternoon trying to figure out how I accidentally purchased a kindle from Amazon, and when I came back from hanging out with Catherine, I told my parents, guys, you will not believe what I accidentally ordered for myself. 

“Huh,” said Dad very casually. “Did you get charged for it?” 

I spent the next five minutes checking my bank account and came back into the living room to announce, “No, I didn’t. Do you think it’s a mistake? But it has my name on it! what does this mean”

It was around the time that I started to sound panicked that Dad confessed to buying it for me (“I didn’t realize the mystery of it would be so terrifying”). Which was very, very sweet and slightly unfortunate because yesterday I purchased a replacement kindle for myself. 

So anyway, we now have a family kindle 

[andhumanslovedstories]

Me and Mom were talking about the kindle this morning, and she told me about how a few weeks ago, she got into her car only to discover that it had been mysteriously cleaned.

“But who would do this?” she said to my father who said he was sure he had no idea. “A student? A stranger? Someone who broke into my car to steal it but felt bad about how dirty it was? WHO??”

Eventually Dad was like, “Honey. It was clearly me.”

Poor Dad just wants to be a man who expresses his love through silent actions, but his family consists of panicked, suspicious women who apparently are very sure that strangers will ominously do nice things for us

[sunflowersyntax]

Made macaroni and cheese for an 8am breakfast because a 2ft tall monster owns my ass

[ttrruue]

“Am I repentant or just a perfecter of my craft being a writer closes me in within a paradox nay being a human closes me in within a paradox of questioning whether my heart is contrite if it is as repentant as the words coming from my lips because though the mouth is the overflow of the heart my tongue can be deceived split in two like the serpent who first deceived me bringing life and bringing death from these lips than who is not to say it will bring both truth and lies about it’s faulty condition Am I repentant or just a perfecter of my craft of continuing to place a facade of self-preseveration before my peers attempting to portray the image which I desire to give if i am being fully honest not always are my desires to magnify the imagiodei And today I woke up foreign to my own skin because it was a temple treated like a garbage dispensary for anyone to discard their trash or treasures an old friend once called herself the proverbs five woman though she’s supposed to be a proverbs 31 and i felt that statement in the very depth of my bones the heart leads way to folly - I don’t believe in trusting it anymore but the spirit leads way into excellence god I am screaming out to hear your voice dear lord don’t let me be a perfecter of my craft if it puts anymore distance between those that love me and those I am learning to love because that’s not something my hands do an adequate enough job of on their own my mother and father are fifteen hundred miles that I drove between them and myself whether they are physical miles or the very separation I have caused by my own mistakes king jesus don’t let me keep making these same mistakes you say they aren’t mistakes when i am willing to learn from them you keep uttering into my ear how all of this is about redeeming if repentance is the seed than god redemption is going to give way into most beautiful flower i’ve ever seen”

— 7/16/2016 (via healingdoesntcomequickly)

[panophobialnie]

[healingdoesntcomequickly]

.

[healingdoesntcomequickly]

I still have a dumb tiny crush on you

Oh yes ? Let me see your face