Curiouser & Curiouser

Anxious Cardiophile 😬🫀. K. 26. She/Her. Bisexual. UK. Writer. 18+ ONLY PLEASE!

[heartbeatsinwonderland]

Hi! I am heartbeatswonderland or you can call me K.

This is a sideblog because I am quite honestly far too much of a coward to make a proper blog (literally my cardiophile writing document is hidden behind four sets of the lyrics to the piña colada song). I am a she/her fluid bisexual from the UK, have horrendous anxiety & I am a cardiophile.

This blog will be all about the heart. Heartbeats, stethoscopes, stething & stories, both fictional ones & the very few from my life. Again, this is a sideblog so I am so, so sorry about being unable to follow anyone back. no one wants to see my main blog, seriously, you're not missing out 😂

Absolutely HATE to be annoying here but I need to lay out & set some ground rules & boundaries.

🫀EVERYONE is welcome to interact if you are respectful! HOWEVER, PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME NSFW PICTURES. I still struggle with the aftermath of being sexually assaulted & would find that deeply triggering.

🫀As I do not like how I look & am INCREDIBLY insecure, I will NOT be posting ANY pictures of myself or sending them, so PLEASE DO NOT ASK, REMEMBER THAT THERE IS A HUMAN BEING BEHIND THE BLOG. Honestly, you’re not missing out on anything 😅. I have awful acne that makes my breasts look troll like.

🫀Writing wise, I will accept requests, depending on what they are, but I will NOT write hardcore smut. My works will be nsfw mostly but there will be no hardcore smut. Of course there is a dark side to my love for heartbeats, but I’m not particularly confident in writing about it.

🫀Messages are fine! Come & say hello, I won’t bite 😅 I might initially come across as a little awkward because of my anxiety, but I’m mostly normal!Honestly just be polite, be kind & we will get along fine. 😊

You know, until I discovered Tumblr in 2016, I thought there was something seriously wrong with me. As a child (& even now) I’d get this odd feeling in my stomach whenever the word ‘heartbeat’ would be brought up, I’d get it whenever I’d see someone get stethed on television, definitely when playing with toy stethoscopes with friends in my much younger years & weirdly enough i would hate being stethed by the doctor. it felt wrong (because to me stething is something intimate) but i was absolutely fixated on that part of the exam before, during & after the appointment. It was not until Tumblr & some pretty incredible blogs that I discovered that I am a ‘cardiophile’ it took me even longer to accept it.

I was in complete denial & even afraid of it at times, but there’s no hiding it (apart from people in real life of course 😅) I am a cardiophile. Thanks to a brilliant post I saw on here by a wonderful Tumblr user, I gained the courage to purchase my very own steth last year (another story for another post) & honestly it’s one of the best things I have ever done. I am still anxious about the whole thing really but I have created this blog so that I can unleash the last twenty years of pent up cardiophile creativity & so i don’t accidentally out myself as a cardiophile when writing my own novels 😅

[heartbeatsinwonderland]

🫀 my anxiety got bad and i hid from this blog like a coward but i have returned because i somehow managed to get a cheap littmann and i have become even more of a cardiophile than i was before.

[heartbeatsinwonderland]

hey! this is k, i am so, so sorry for disappearing for months since i posted my first cardiophile story! my anxiety just went to hell & i vanished off the face of the earth for a bit but i just wanted all you who have followed, liked & reblogged the story i wrote to know that i appreciate every single one of you. it means so much to me, it means the world to me that you responded with such kindness & encouragement. i will most certainly be writing more cardiophile pieces! i have some on my phone that i feel slightly ashamed of but may end up posting anyway. i am so, so so sorry that i can't reply to any of you. 😭 this is a secret side blog i made because of how my anxiety makes me fear that i would never be accepted for this kink i have. i mean i doubt, as a bisexual woman in the uk, that i will ever find someone that shares my kink but i am so, so grateful to the people on this wonderful site who have been so kind to me since i joined & i am so so sorry that i vanished! i will return with new work, i promise but i wanted to give you all an update!

also, when i was out last night, i could feel my heartbeat thumping excitedly against my ribs as i drank more & it was the most beautiful feeling 🤩 (wish i had packed my steth even though its slightly broken 😭 i can't get the disc back on with the key & i can't order a new one (even though i tragically found such a good one on Amazone) because i live at home & i am pretty sure my parents would disown me if they knew the truth 😅 i mean oh my god i hide my cardiophile writing behind four copy and pasted versions of the pina colada song on my phone notes app because my family shares one apple account 😭)

[heartbeatsinwonderland]

“Your Heart Is Pounding”

A/N: I am sorry in advance for this. Summary: An after shower stething.

You’re warm, it’s late evening and you’ve just had a shower.

You lie yourself down on the sofa, breathing slowly as you accumulate to room temperature, which is how your girlfriend finds you.

Greeting you with a warm smile as she enters the room, she joins you there, slowly straddling your hips to climb on before lowering herself down to lie against you.

Pillowing her head against your chest, you rest your hand in her hair whilst her own wander, slipping under your hoodie. Your heartbeat picking up as she starts to trace light circles into the bare skin.

She draws patterns into your side and considering the fact that you have become aware of your own heart pushing out beats and can feel it almost pressing into her fingers, there’s no doubt in your mind that she can most definitely feel it and hear it pumping against her ear.

“Your heart is pounding.” She remarks and you are lost for words. Your mind going blank as she trails her fingers across your side again.

The accelerated thuds of your heartbeat replace any words you could’ve chosen to respond with if your thought process hadn’t have been interrupted.

“Don’t move.” Her voice is gentle, but commanding all the same as she presses a kiss to the pulse point at your neck.

You doubt you could move if you tried and whine pitifully at the absence of her body pressed tightly against yours when she moves, but you know that she’ll be back once she’s got what she needs.

In no time at all, but still too long for both of your likings, your girlfriend returns with a purse in hand.

Smirking playfully at you, she straddles your hips again to get back on the sofa and rests the purse against your stomach, but this time, she doesn’t lie down against you. Instead, she leans down, pressing soft kisses against your forehead as her fingers work to unzip the purse and reveal the stethoscope, which she hangs around her neck, fingers moving to your clothed chest; pinching the zip of your soft hoodie.

Firstly, your girlfriend looks to you for consent.

“Can I take a listen, love?”

You nod slowly yet eagerly at the same time.

“Yes please.”

She chuckles softly and puts her lips to your forehead once again.

“Thank you, honey.” She whispers in your ear, before sitting up.

Pinching the zip between her fingers, she pulls it down in a slow, exaggerated motion. Maintaining eye contact with you the whole time as your chest is exposed.

Parting the fabric with her hands, you suck in a breath as her fingers make contact with your skin.

The anticipation pools deep in your lower abdomen as she reaches for the stethoscope and puts the earpieces in.

Taking the chest piece in hand she raises it to her lips and blows on it slowly to warm it up whilst watching you breathe.

Your bare chest rises and falls beneath her, rising up to meet the cool circular surface of the diaphragm.

With your skin still warm from the shower, the cool disc feels pleasant and encourages your pump to gain a little more speed.

Especially when your girlfriend’s hand returns to your side, teasing your skin with her nails.

You can feel your temperature rise and a lovely sensation form in your chest cavity as your heart pounds quickly against the instrument.

Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump…

Controlled and careful, your girlfriend moves the chest piece around slowly, listening to each beat that your excited heart produces, whilst she trails her fingers across your side to hear your internal reactions that fill you both with joy and wonder.

There’s a distinct ache that starts between your legs. One that grows and pulsates as she runs her nails over your side, making patterns against your skin whilst guiding the stethoscope gently into different areas of your chest.

Your back arches and a small moan escapes your lips as she drags her nails slowly down the exposed skin of your stomach, desire pooling between your legs whilst your heart continues to pound against the diaphragm.

Breathing in deeply, a content sound slips through your lips and she places the chest piece to the slope of your breast, beaming at the loud thud she hears where she has placed the stethoscope.

After a few minutes, she removes the earpieces but when she keeps them around her neck, you know that she is only pressing pause for a moment.

Stroking your face whilst staring lovingly at you, she leans down and kisses the space between your breasts.

“Beautiful.” Your girlfriend whispers before laying down beside you, stroking a hand across your stomach as you yawn quietly.

Closing your eyes, it’s only a moment before you feel the diaphragm return to your skin and she continues to listen.

Listening to your peaceful, sleepy beats.

A/N: Please be kind, this is my first piece. I can’t believe I unleashed this.