ok.

"some people feel like they don't deserve love. they turn away quietly into empty spaces, trying to close the gaps of the past." ════════════════════════════════════ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　 ︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹ 22. INFP. TAURUS ✖ !! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT !! ✖

[heavenxily]

i live a peculiar life of misery and curiosity ,

you wouldn't understand .

[heavenxily]

so long as people don't know , you can destroy yourself all you want .

if only it were that simple .

[heavenxily]

i think i'm starting to lose the battle again . being better isn't easy , i'm tired , my best isn't enough . i have to be strong because my weakness is a weight others can't carry right now . i'm crumbling inside , and i'm suffocating .

i don't want to fight anymore . i need these emotions to spill out . i need to hurt . i need to breathe .

[heavenxily]

i wish i was somebody else

[heavenxily]

how many more hard pills will i have to swallow before i'm allowed to breathe?

[heavenxily]

i'm not special.

[heavenxily]

trust me i know all the correct answers, but it seldom changes anything.

[heavenxily]

no one's going to save you.

the hard pill i swallowed when i ws 14, 16 , 19. i have to save myself. maybe that's why i've started to become so preachy, so passionate about healing. it's so simple, really. i don't want to suffer anymore, misery has comforted me most when no one has, but it's overstayed it's welcome, so i started to pull away from it.

i started simple, prioritizing my wants, my needs, my comforts. but after years of doing that, i've found myself burnt out.

no one is going to save me. i know that. and yet i feel 7, 9, 13 all over again. helplessly waiting for someone, anyone, to notice my pain, to reach out. i'm exhausted. i can't do this anymore. my loneliness feels immeasurable, and i found myself drowning in it once more.

now my passion has become the very thing that mocks me. it was supposed to be easy, so why am i repeating the same cycle?

i need help, but everyone's exhausted and tired, they need help too. i'm not special, the only one who can help me is me.

but i can't anymore.

please someone hear me, please someone see me.

please, anyone, free me from this pain.

i'm tired.

[heavenxily]

i hate people who think that being mean to you will push you away after already developing relationship with you. like no bitch now im just sad and confused.

[yassvm]

[vanillafawn777]

[heavenxily]

and at some point , you'll be forced to confront yourself .

love , or misery ?

sad to say , but your misery won't just leave the moment you find love , and when you find that someone who cares , will your love for them surpass the love of hating yourself ?

what is it that you truly want ?

in the grand scheme of things, you're gonna have to choose .

[westcoastheiress]

tt: @strangers.vibes

[angelmilkteeth]

[heavenxily]

maybe that childhood light is just a romanticized lie . do you believe there was a time where you were 100% happy? we were kids !! the first thing we do stepping into this earth is cry . misery has always been here , and it was arguably bigger as kids because we had no real understanding , no real control over anything . the only difference is that back then we didn't shame ourselves for feeling our emotions .

"But Xil , that's the point , being happy came easier then .. "

it was also easier to throw a tantrum over tripping . so what , maybe tiny things don't amuse you anymore , like seeing a butterfly outside and chasing it down just because you can . but here's the cool thing , you get to find what makes you happy ; we're blessed with a day and age where we have everything under our fingertips with the touch of a screen , go find it , and don't settle for one , that's how dependency is built . never stop searching for all the little things that make *you* happy , get to *know* yourself . be free .

[chelseamotelno2]

How to stop feeling like nobody actually likes me tutorial

[heavenxily]

step 1: realize people will genuinely dislike you for breathing. step 2: get comfortable with making others uncomfortable. step 3: thrive in your own whimsy.

[tintedrosepink-deactivated20251]