Heavy Little Mind

Things on my mind that I can't describe... Out loud anyway. 

[heavyilminds]

I've loved you for so long, I can't imagine having or loving anyone else. You were enough for me, you were everything to me.

[capture--the-moment]

[twiddlingthemthumbs-archive-dea]

reblog this if your blog is a safe space for poc

[nabara]

you should be with him, i can’t compete

[heavyilminds]

Baby, there's no one other prize I would rather have

[heavyilminds]

[brontesommerfeld]

[heavyilminds]

Insomnia takes affect once you've realised that you're wasting your life sleeping, that whenever you close your eyes and have a break the world takes something else from you, be it a parent, a sibling, a friend or a lover. .. or hope.

[yokosuka87-blog]

[heavyilminds]

The bar is empty except for a woman, she sits at the window staring out onto the street, the lights are off, the hum of traffic distracts her from her problems.

[refiningfire]

[wonting]

[heavyilminds]

The sand in every crevice doesn't itch me as much with the bottle of vodka in my hand

[cigars-with-men]

[heavyilminds]

Be rough, wrap your arms around my thighs and your teeth at my neck and in return you can have my everything. Show me you care, show me you're there

#rough #sex

[heavyilminds]

There’s no money, electric is buzzing outside but inside there’s none, no gas or lights just a bright, purple sun that lights the room up and even though there is nothing here... I have you

[heavyilminds]

Sink

Ever feel like your heart is sinking, sometimes confused because when you let out a deep breath you feel a sinking sort of calm and relaxation and then you get fucked up because it’s not calm you feel...its fear

[heavyilminds]

Fuck you

Remembering you is like cutting myself, I felt like I needed you to feel normal and alive but you left me scarred and hideous.

Did it feel good to rip out an organ? Pull my heart from its cage and play with it like putty? Or was punishing yourself too hard to do? So you would utter those words “I love you” then take another girl or boy back to your bed.

Naive i was, young and green but you turned it all into a dream of younger days where I didn’t understand relationships. When it was just us you would tell me I was beautiful and there was no one like me but it was a bit of a joke because,

Sardonically,

I was the only one to put up with your

Abuse,

I’m not going to indulge you this time, in your eyes or beautiful smile. I needed isolation and a massive shift of life to make me realise I’m worth my own time.

I hate someone hurt you so bad

To make you think it’s normal to do

That because I wouldn’t fuck you you found sex somewhere else

Fuck you and your ways

Karma will be knocking on your door some day.

[dua-daily]

etheridgeee I’m at Church

[heavyilminds]

She can't stand herself,

Sits with a cup coffee and a cigarette,

Thinking about the world she wants to leave behind

Something she thinks about all the time.

Her mind plays a song she's desperate to forget.

Thoughts bounce and words collect but none of it makes any sense.

She'll create problems, two even three and it is constantly, razor to wrist then she puts it back because it aches to look at that.

The lumpy scars and purple bruises because she knows it's self inflicted.

You can't love her

She can't even love herself

All because her brain doesn't want to forget.

Every word

Every look

Every punch she ever took

Every kick

Every slap

"it was just a tap"

She's not one of them and she never will be so what's the harm in killing her softly...

Even now, ten years on she tries to think of when it went wrong but she can't she's self destructive.

How will she heal,

She wont

She wants to feel like she's not alone

A sea of people

Asks how she is

But she sees ghosts and transparent things.

How can we be surrounded by people but see nothing but isolation, she knows there's people there for her but she won't kick down the walls.

[bowieisnotdead]

cap sun • taurus moon • aqua rising • purple city requested by anonymous

[heavyilminds]

Sitting on the pavement, Long legs hanging off onto the roads and you think... How perfect life is in the neon lights

[imaddictedtomyillness]

How do you tell someone they don’t need to yell at you because you not only plan on punishing yourself later but you’re already beating yourself up on the inside without sounding manipulative and crazy?