Momming
Calling all of you wonderful, loving, and exhausted mamas out there… do you question yourself a million times a day like I do? Maybe two million?
I just spent 45 minutes trying to get Lucas down for bed. Then I went downstairs and spent 20 more minutes cleaning the kitchen and feeding our small zoo (okay, just 2 dogs and 2 cats, but they are ferocious when they’re hungry). The entire time I was cleaning, I just kept thinking to myself “did you do enough today? Did you accomplish enough to feel proud of the day?”
I am very lucky in the sense that I get to work from home 3 days a week and only need to go into the office 2 days. Today was one of the office days, so picking Lucas up from the babysitter’s was the highlight of my day. The door opens and he is all smiles and reaches for me with a big hug. But then I get home and I feel like I must pack a whole day’s worth of momming into 4 hours. And even on the days that I am home with him, I go through the same mental checklist.
Did we read a few books today? Did I try to teach him some colors? Numbers? The alphabet? Did he get all of his vegetables and fruits for the day? He didn’t have any sugar after lunch, did he? Is it bath night? Maybe we should make that happen more often? Did he get enough milk? How much milk is this kid supposed to have anyway? Uh oh, are those more teeth coming in?
These things constantly go through my mind, and I doubt myself every day. But that means that once I make it out of the other side of the bedtime theatrics (diffuser, sound machine, turtle nightlight, snuggles…), I finally have time for me. Peace and quie---
Wait, nope. Now is my time to clean, build my business, write a blog post so that my potential clients don’t think I fell of the face of the Earth, answer work emails that I couldn’t answer while slobbery fingers tried to touch the laptop… it never ends. I never get everything done in a day that I wake up hoping to accomplish. And you know what? For now, that is okay.
Our child is loved beyond measure. He knows what a cow, duck, kitty, puppy, lion, frog, and Santa all say. He dances whenever he hears music. I’d say he is doing just fine, despite the loud, thunderous doubts in my mind. And it is in these last couple hours of the day that I will continue to work on my business and housekeeping, because those precious moments during the day are totally worth it. Mamas, hang in there because this bumpy ride is going to go faster than we could ever imagine. Now go reward yourself with some ice cream! You deserve it!








