Hell's Traffic Accident

RP and Ask blog for Rin Kaenbyou of the Touhou Project series. Featuring Satori Komeiji as well. Single-ship, but multifandom as needed. Currently in a relationship with Utsuho Reiuji. Please read the about and rules page before RPing or sending asks. Thanks for listening.

[hellcatyoukaigirl]

wintrydragontrap replied to your post: I robbed your house like six times while you were...

they’re such a good thief nobody noticed their stuff gone whoa

“If that’s the case, Marisa’s been totally outdone!”

[hellcatyoukaigirl]

I robbed your house like six times while you were dead.

“Suuure. You robbed Chireiden, a palace that’s not only full of creatures and beings but ruled by someone who can read the hearts of anyone around her... six times.That’s totally believable and I completely believe you.”

[hellcatyoukaigirl]

“Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated!”

“...Assuming they existed. I don’t actually know, I didn’t check.”

[hellcatyoukaigirl]

Well, at least she wasn’t hiding under the desk anymore. And RIn would even be nice enough not to mention that she could just as easily snag Shin from where she was, no problem. Though that was partly because she didn’t want to have to chase down the girl again.

“You’ll forgive me for not thinking of Seija immediately,” she replied to the first barb. “She didn’t come down and bother the Underground for some reason… maybe because she knew we wouldn’t have allowed her antics to go on. And while we’re at it, let’s top with the ‘cat’ label, shall we? I’m Rin. Rin Kaenbyou. You can tell me your name too, if you want. And for the record, I was trying to get you out from under there so I could get a proper look at you. I ain’t a body snatcher.”

[inchlingmallet]

Sukuna puffed her cheeks ineffectually at Rin as she explained herself, firmly remaining unconvinced of the cat’s trustworthiness. Especially in being an Underground youkai, where inhibitions were all but nonexistent as far as the princess was aware.

“You’ll have to forgive me if I’m not convinced. A ‘closer look’ doesn’t usually involve getting grabby. Between this and that pervert, I’m wondering why I even go outside, anymore…” A defeated sigh. “Well… A  should never refuse such a thing, even from a shady sort of person. My name is Shinmyoumaru Sukuna, ruler of the inchling people and the Shining Needle Palace, and descendent of the great Issun-Boshi.”

Beat.

“I’m…guessing you won’t leave with just that.”

[hellcatyoukaigirl]

Nonexistent inhibitions? Well, in that respect, the princess of the inchlings would be quite right. There wasn’t really much holding Orin back from doing what she wanted... though in a sense, that was a good thing. It meant that she could show her actions as genuine.

“Aaand your guess is correct, Miss Sukuna - or should I be calling you Sukuna-sama?” Another one who claimed to be a ruler of some place or another... Orin was quite used to those. In her long life, she’d met a ruler or two already. “Sounds like you’ve got a pretty fancy pedigree. None of it really answers one of my big questions though. Namely, what’s someone like you doing at the Hakurei shrine, hm?”

[asknueidentified]

And now.  Random unsolicited advice from Nue.

“Tengu ink is approximately 3% blood, 3% sweat, and 3% tears.  That 3% blood is enough for a low level blood ritual.”

[randomtengureporter]

Random unsolicited advice from Daichi!

“Do not attempt blood magic using Tengu papers. The printers become very cross about it.”

While adding blood from a few different Humans to one’s ink was traditionally done to muddle such attempts, some Karasu only add their own as a point of pride. A drop or two of Kitsune blood in the mix causes legendarily messy backfires in blood rituals, but the expense prevents any but the biggest of papers from employing such countermeasures. Kasha blood or saliva is a cheaper alternative with almost comparable results, but some find the smell distasteful.

[hellcatyoukaigirl]

“Tengu that try to take kasha blood, of course, tend to regret it in our experience... for some reason, those birds have a hard time dealing with a couple dozen cats tormenting them for a week or two. Kasha saliva is a lot easier to acquire... though I’ve seen a case or two where the tengu in question try to prove otherwise. Really, though, it doesn’t matter what kind of ink you use if you make a quill out of a hell raven feather... but that doesn’t work for printing, does it?”

[kakokaini-deactivated20210902]

Muse Profile - Orin

“Oh this girl! Ohhh we have a bone to pick with her that we do! She stole our melon one day, our green haired melon and tried to take her off base and possibly to hell. Tch tch no way!”

“You see today we’re talking about that infernal @hellcatyoukaigirl, other known as Rin Kaenbyou or Orin for short. This dastardly cat is a sly little thing, a corpse gatherer, a man eater, and monster from hell upon all levels!”

“Just look at he- Hey wait! Why did you use the cute image, that’s not going to help! Editor come on, what are you doing this is my show and you’re making her out to be a happy lovable little bastard of a hell cat!”

“A-anyways, this..fiendish girl is a kasha, a feline type demon who was known for swooping down to take bodies away in a sudden gale. A servant to Satori Komeiji, this fiend is also known for her leadership abilities and ties to the Myouren temple!”

“What think its strange? Too bad, that’s just how people change you know! She’s a dedicated servant, a leader among kasha, a sly talker and body stealer..and melon stealer…but under it all she’s one true to her heart demon. A loyal kasha, a faithful girlfriend, an evil that you just want to pet. This demon is surely one you should check out.”

“I mean just read up on her here, and when you see her..tell her to return our melon.”

[hellcatyoukaigirl]

Orin was starting to get a little frustrated here… not because of her continued failure to get Sukuna out from under there, but from all the suspicion. And the threats. The threats weren’t helping either. Sighing, though, she took three steps back from the furniture, staying low so she could watch the inchling.

“All right, I backed off,” she announced. “Now come on out already, this is really getting silly. Not only am I not stupid enough to kill and eat anyone at Reimu’s shrine, but you wouldn’t even be a very filling meal. I eat way more than you every day, you know.” Was she helping? Probably not, but it was worth a shot.

[inchlingmallet]

Oh, not in the slightest. At the same time however, there was no telling when Reimu would get back, and Shin couldn’t well hide here forever. She wasn’t about to leave herself vulnerable to this cat though, either.

…Ah, yes. That was a possible solution to this.

Several moments later, Shin’s head and arms would pop out…from the top of the furnishing, looking down on Rin.

“I knew someone who actually thought she could usurp the Yakumo. Don’t try and talk to me about how stupid any one youkai can be in this place.” A shake of the head. “And I suppose trying to snatch people against their will is just your way of saying ‘hello’, is it? Don’t insult my intelligence either now, cat.”

[hellcatyoukaigirl]

Well, at least she wasn’t hiding under the desk anymore. And RIn would even be nice enough not to mention that she could just as easily snag Shin from where she was, no problem. Though that was partly because she didn’t want to have to chase down the girl again.

“You’ll forgive me for not thinking of Seija immediately,” she replied to the first barb. “She didn’t come down and bother the Underground for some reason... maybe because she knew we wouldn’t have allowed her antics to go on. And while we’re at it, let’s top with the ‘cat’ label, shall we? I’m Rin. Rin Kaenbyou. You can tell me your name too, if you want. And for the record, I was trying to get you out from under there so I could get a proper look at you. I ain’t a body snatcher.”

[inchlingmallet]

~continued from here!~

“I won’t fall for your tricks, you awful thing! I know how you cats like to play the long game–!”

And yet, Shin couldn’t exactly deny the cause for intrigue. Even though the Shining Needle Castle had occupied oni territory for ages before her incident occurred, it’s not like her people had ever really been to the Underground. But then, that still wasn’t an excuse for this! What, did this youkai just greet everyone by trying to nab them? Not hardly!

No, this was just a cat trying to get an easy snack! Force didn’t work, so now she was resorting to trickery!

“You’ll end up like one of those alley strays with a nub tail and a chipped ear, beast! Don’t you underestimate the ruler of the kobito!”

[hellcatyoukaigirl]

Orin was starting to get a little frustrated here... not because of her continued failure to get Sukuna out from under there, but from all the suspicion. And the threats. The threats weren’t helping either. Sighing, though, she took three steps back from the furniture, staying low so she could watch the inchling.

“All right, I backed off,” she announced. “Now come on out already, this is really getting silly. Not only am I not stupid enough to kill and eat anyone at Reimu’s shrine, but you wouldn’t even be a very filling meal. I eat way more than you every day, you know.” Was she helping? Probably not, but it was worth a shot.

[inchlingmallet]

"Don't be stupid. I'm not going to hurt you." Though with the way she's grabbing for Sukuna, the inchling could probably be forgiven for cowering.

Luckily for the tiny princess, she can fit under the tiny cracks of furniture too big and heavy for one person to move.

“You can’t fool me, you! You’re a cat!” She brandishes her needle defensively, trying to hide her knocking knees. “Cats only ever try to kill and eat little things! You stay away from me, or– or you’ll be losing an eye! I mean it!”

[hellcatyoukaigirl]

Of course, if Orin applied her youkai strength, she could probably lift up the piece of furniture that Sukuna is hiding under, but that would be a little unfair... and would probably scare her more.

“Generalizing a bit, aren’t you?” she couldn’t help but ask, a rather incredulous look on her face. “If I wanted to kill and eat you, trust me, I’d do it. I’m just wonderin’ who the hell you are. I’ve never seen you at the shrine before. So just come out, and no one gets hurt, okay?”

[hellcatyoukaigirl]

See, the cat has friends. Let her go.

“You can have a cat. There’s thousands of orphaned stray cats in Mayohiga, I’m sure some of them would like to have an owner. But you can’t have that cat. Trust me, if you actually did steal her, I’d be the least of your worried. You’d be swallowed up in a gap before you could say ‘Yakumo’.”

[corvidmagicae-a]

Yakumo, Yakumo… now why does that sound familiar? Hmm.

Oh. That’s why.

So the bakeneko was involved with that purple-clad menace? Tsk tsk. What a shame. Shouldn’t steal what already belongs to a fae. It’s one thing to take from humans, but another to take from something beyond that veil.

“Alright alright, I’ll take your word for it. Normal cats won’t quite do it with Anna, though. I suppose I’ll have to find her a familiar elsewhere. A shame though, that spell actually works.”

[hellcatyoukaigirl]

Orin wasn’t honestly sure if the name would have any meaning to the witch, but she took a chance in tossing it out... seemed like it worked. Well, that was Chen safe. Judging from Bri’s reaction, Orin was going to guess that she wouldn’t be going near Chen ever again.

“Tell ya what. You need a magical cat, right? Sometimes the kasha in my clan have kids that they don’t really want to take care of. Happens to everyone, right? If you promise on your soul to take really good care of her, I could see about getting you a kasha kitten. That way, you don’t need to go near Chen, right?”

[hellcatyoukaigirl]

“I just want to point out that if anyone does anything negative to a certain brown-haired little sister of mine, I’m gonna have to get really mad and bring down the wrath of hell upon them. And trust me, I haven’t done that in a long time~.”

[corvidmagicae-a]

“I just want a cat. What’s so bad about that?”

Everything, Bri. Everything. See, the cat has friends. Let her go.

[hellcatyoukaigirl]

“You can have a cat. There’s thousands of orphaned stray cats in Mayohiga, I’m sure some of them would like to have an owner. But you can’t have that cat. Trust me, if you actually did steal her, I’d be the least of your worries. You’d be swallowed up in a gap before you could say ‘Yakumo’.”

[hellcatyoukaigirl]

“I just want to point out that if anyone does anything negative to a certain brown-haired little sister of mine, I’m gonna have to get really mad and bring down the wrath of hell upon them. And trust me, I haven’t done that in a long time~.”

[hellcatyoukaigirl]

“Did somebody say ‘sophisticated underground society’?” No, Orin. She didn’t mean it like that.

[nekofantasia]

hellcatyoukaigirl:

“You’ll have girls falling for you left and right. Probably quite a few guys too. Trust me on this one.”

“Umm, OK? What if they fall for me without doing it?”

[hellcatyoukaigirl]

“Then it means you’re just naturally charming~ a pretty good quality to have, I think.”

[nekofantasia]

hellcatyoukaigirl:

“Careful with that expression, Chen. When you get older, it’ll get real dangerous.”

“Eh? But why?”

[hellcatyoukaigirl]

“You’ll have girls falling for you left and right. Probably quite a few guys too. Trust me on this one.”

[nekofantasia]

“Hello there~”

[hellcatyoukaigirl]

“Careful with that expression, Chen. When you get older, it’ll get real dangerous.”

[hellcatyoukaigirl]

“Those, uh… those won’t actually work on me, will they? Since I’m not one of your monsters. Right?”

“Because if so I am absolutely stealing this person away.”

[corvidmagicae-a]

“Oh, probably. You’re a cat, so you’re fair game. And good luck, she’s a firecracker.”

[hellcatyoukaigirl]

“It’s a good thing I have a liiiittle practice in dodging projectiles then, isn’t it?” Good luck, anyone who tries. She has a base catch rate of, like, 5. Maybe even less. “Thanks for the advice, though. But if she’s enamored of cats, it should be easy to deal with her. Trust me on this one, it’s not my first time luring someone to Hell.”