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@hellholebrainiac
I have no context for this but I just want Dick to use the line, “and I don’t think my father, the inventor of toaster strudel, would be very happy to hear about this!” and he’s fully talking about Bruce.
Maybe it’s as Nightwing and he’s talking about Batman, and that just makes all the other heroes try to google who invented the toaster strudel because they think Nightwing just let slip who Batman is under the cowl.
Dick is cackling, he thinks it’s hilarious. Bruce is so exhausted.
what hogwarts houses would the batfam be in!!
This is actually so hard and I know I’ve posted stuff abt it before but here’s my current musings on the topic:
Bruce: see my immediate thought was Ravenclaw but he’s not rly the knowledge for knowledge’s sake type. Like, he wants to obtain knowledge so he can use it either to his advantage or to help those around him. So maybe Slytherin
Dick: I hate picking for him because literally all four houses work for him so well for so many different reasons. He’s loyal to a fault and he’s an excellent friend, so he’d make a great Hufflepuff. He knows so much random shit and he’s basically a Swiss Army knife of a person, so he’d be a great Ravenclaw. He’s always saving people and he’s brave and courageous and he’s run headfirst into battle plenty of times, so he’d be a great Gryffindor. But he’s also secretive and ambitious and cunning, so he’d fit right in with Slytherin. Ugh idk I’ll come back to him if I remember bc I just can’t pick rn
Jason: Gryffindor. Idk why. Just vibes.
Tim: Ravenclaw bc he’s a nerd (I say this with love<3)
Cass: I honestly have no idea. Hufflepuff, perhaps.
Stephanie: Gryffindor and it’s not even a question.
Damian: Hufflepuff or Slytherin. He’d ask the Hat based on however Bruce or Dick were sorted
Duke: gonna be honest I don’t know much about Duke, but he seems fun. Gryffindor.
Tbh though I think they’d all do well in Slytherin bc the bats are all secretive, scheming little shits (I say this as a Slytherin myself💚)
Huh, I just realized that in any reverse robins AU where Damian is Dick's father, Talia is his grandmother.
What would their relationship be like?
Talia would despise him because Dick would constantly call her Grandma and it makes her feel old.
“If you must call me that,” she seethes, bending down to be eye level with him, “at least have the decency and respect to call me Grandmother.”
“No thanks, Gramma.”
Dick is smiling so sweetly at her, but she can see the mischievous glint in his eyes.
Damian is so exacerbated; his mother feuding with his new son is just so exhausting.
“I like Selina better,” Dick hisses at her, sticking out his tongue as he holds Damian’s hand and walks by her. They’re about to leave whatever event they’re at, and Damian is going to get him ice cream on the way home. What a wonderful night.
how long do you think dick’s hair should be?
i feel like he would be able to make it look majestic if he had long hair (ignoring his rat tail in the comics) but i also like the idea of it being kinda shaggy/mullety but not super long. i hate the ric grayson bald era more than anything else but i also know some people think he would look good with short hair. i guess it also kinda depends too bc i picture his hair to be kinda wavy/curly but in a lot of comics it’s pin straight.
Prob depends on how old he is and like what’s going on around him. I always figure the more chaos going on around him, the shaggier and wilder his hair gets bc he just forgets to cut it.
Small circus child Dick: it brushes his ears and the collar of his shirt. It’s wild during the day when he’s running around and playing, but styled nicely by his mom or dad for performances.
Small child Robin!Dick: cut a little neater than he’s used to because he wanted his hair to look like Bruce’s. Isn’t tamed in the slightest when he’s out as Robin, but is gelled and combed just like Bruce’s when he’s at school and at any charity events.
Teenage Robin!Dick: a little shaggier but can’t be too long otherwise he gets in trouble for it at school bc Gotham Academy has a strict dress code 💔
Teenage Nightwing!Dick: vaguely mullet length hair. The longer it gets, the wavier it looks. Having it longer is a little rebellious and fun
Young adult Nightwing!Dick: Wild, shaggy, he hasn’t seen a barber in ages and it shows. He tames it when he’s forced to go to events for WE with Bruce lmao
Agent 37 Super Spy Dick: cut neatly but always windswept somehow
Post-Spyral Dick: still cut neatly, but just slightly longer. Brushes his ears and the back of his neck.
Currently thinking about the whiplash the other JL members would get when they see Bruce and Dick outside of their Batman and Robin personas for the first time. Like, they’re so used to the ultra serious Batman and his scary little shadow Robin. Robin is a child, yes, but he’s terrifying and he’s laughed in Joker’s face and made it out alive. The two of them are so serious about their roles, and even if Robin cracks jokes and makes puns, there’s a threatening edge to it that gives them all a chill, and Batman stands behind him menacingly the entire time.
Then they finally meet Bruce and Dick, and it’s a total 180. Dick holds Bruce’s hands and rocks on his heels and grins, and suddenly the missing baby tooth isn’t frightening, it’s endearing. Bruce has no problem picking Dick up and letting Dick cup his hands around his ear to whisper a secret. Bruce is indulgent and so clearly loves his little son so much, and he brushes Dick’s hair out of his eyes and straightens the collar of his shirt when it’s gone askew from all his playing and he ties Dick’s shoelaces when he notices the knot has come undone.
Idk I just love sweet dad Bruce and sweet little kid Dick making the JL think this all an elaborate prank by Batman and Robin, that the real Batman and Robin must be hiding out somewhere watching them interact with Gotham’s favorite billionaire and his son and they must think it’s all very funny.
Dick, of course, does think it’s funny, and he whispers as much into Bruce’s ear and then they giggle together about it.
I think the very first school picture Dick takes after Bruce adopts him is kept in Bruce’s wallet forever. It’s also framed prominently on his desk at WE, and on his bedside table, and hanging in a family room next to a school picture of Bruce when he was a child that Alfred adores, and is in a colorful magnet frame on the fridge.
And Bruce loves this picture so much, especially when the yearbook comes out and he sees Dick’s smiling face amongst all his little classmates.
Because Dick’s uniform shirt is a little rumpled from playing at recess, so the collar is askew, and his hair is a little wild and haphazardly combed back into place by Dick’s clumsy little fingers, and his smile is so big and showing off his latest missing baby tooth, and it’s just the sweetest thing Bruce has ever seen and he loves it so so much.
Idk I just love the mental image of Dick going to school with a perfectly ironed uniform, but coming home from school with his uniform all rumpled because he played so much at recess and lunch and Bruce always getting a chuckle out of it, and now it’s immortalized in this school picture and Bruce adores it.
Little mental image of Jason and Dick arguing for whatever reason. Like Dick has been spending a lot of time at home doing things he actually likes instead of worrying about and running around after everyone else and solving all their problems.
And Jason just, “You sit home, and you sew, and you pretend to do things!”
And Dick immediately just, “What’s wrong with my sewing?”
What do you think of an AU where Damian and Dick are twins? But they genuinely grow up together, side by side. Damian being terribly protective of his younger twin, who is trained in a slightly more brutal way than he is, because he seems "weaker" because, like him, he inherited his father's kindness and compassion, but in him it is much more evident.
Love it love it love it LOVE IT LOVE IT!!!
Talia and Dick still having a feud even when Dick is her literal child is actually so funny in a sad sort of way. Like Talia despises that he’s so much like Bruce when neither twin has ever even met Bruce before, and she wants so badly for Dick to be ruthless, but he’s so unnervingly compassionate.
Damian is too, but he’s very good at hiding it from Talia. Not to say that Dick wouldn’t be just as good an actor, but he doesn’t want to be mean and ruthless. He doesn’t like that he and Damian are forced to be like that.
Maybe it’s Dick who convinced Damian to run away with him to go live with their father. Maybe Damian goes with him because he’s convinced he needs to protect Dick.
And then they show up inside the Batcave waiting for Bruce at the chair at the Batcomputer, turning around in the chair slowly and dramatically because Dick thought it would be funny to scare him and Damian thought it would be a good way to assert dominance. They also both just have a flare for the dramatic.
Bruce does get startled when they turn around as he’s walking to the computer, and Dick falls over laughing with his head in Damian’s lap, and Damian is laughing with him and twisting his fingers in Dick’s hair.
“Who are you two and why are you sitting at my computer?”
“You don’t call it your Batcomputer?” Dick asks, sitting up with a pout on his face.
“Batcomputer is a much better name for it,” Damian agrees.
“And this is your Batcave!” Dick says.
“And those are your Batarangs!” Damian adds.
“And that’s your Batmobile!” Dick exclaims.
“Who are you?” Bruce asks, his voice a bit strangled.
“Your sons,” they say in unison.
Bruce feels like he’s going to faint.
What do you think of an AU where Damian and Dick are twins? But they genuinely grow up together, side by side. Damian being terribly protective of his younger twin, who is trained in a slightly more brutal way than he is, because he seems "weaker" because, like him, he inherited his father's kindness and compassion, but in him it is much more evident.
Love it love it love it LOVE IT LOVE IT!!!
Talia and Dick still having a feud even when Dick is her literal child is actually so funny in a sad sort of way. Like Talia despises that he’s so much like Bruce when neither twin has ever even met Bruce before, and she wants so badly for Dick to be ruthless, but he’s so unnervingly compassionate.
Damian is too, but he’s very good at hiding it from Talia. Not to say that Dick wouldn’t be just as good an actor, but he doesn’t want to be mean and ruthless. He doesn’t like that he and Damian are forced to be like that.
Maybe it’s Dick who convinced Damian to run away with him to go live with their father. Maybe Damian goes with him because he’s convinced he needs to protect Dick.
And then they show up inside the Batcave waiting for Bruce at the chair at the Batcomputer, turning around in the chair slowly and dramatically because Dick thought it would be funny to scare him and Damian thought it would be a good way to assert dominance. They also both just have a flare for the dramatic.
Bruce does get startled when they turn around as he’s walking to the computer, and Dick falls over laughing with his head in Damian’s lap, and Damian is laughing with him and twisting his fingers in Dick’s hair.
“Who are you two and why are you sitting at my computer?”
“You don’t call it your Batcomputer?” Dick asks, sitting up with a pout on his face.
“Batcomputer is a much better name for it,” Damian agrees.
“And this is your Batcave!” Dick says.
“And those are your Batarangs!” Damian adds.
“And that’s your Batmobile!” Dick exclaims.
“Who are you?” Bruce asks, his voice a bit strangled.
“Your sons,” they say in unison.
Bruce feels like he’s going to faint.
Several months later, Talia shows up at the manor thinking she can convince Bruce to marry her.
“Hello, my love,” she says as she enters the room.
“Hello, my hateful shrew,” Bruce says, turning around and holding five year old twins Dick and Damian in each arm. They’ve told him everything about their upbringing in the League, and he’s none too happy. These are his babies. How dare she be mean to his babies.
Dick sticks his tongue out at Talia, who’s fuming. Damian sees Dick do it and immediately follows suit. Talia is incensed to find out that Dick’s bad habits have finally rubbed off on Damian.
What do you think of an AU where Damian and Dick are twins? But they genuinely grow up together, side by side. Damian being terribly protective of his younger twin, who is trained in a slightly more brutal way than he is, because he seems "weaker" because, like him, he inherited his father's kindness and compassion, but in him it is much more evident.
Love it love it love it LOVE IT LOVE IT!!!
Talia and Dick still having a feud even when Dick is her literal child is actually so funny in a sad sort of way. Like Talia despises that he’s so much like Bruce when neither twin has ever even met Bruce before, and she wants so badly for Dick to be ruthless, but he’s so unnervingly compassionate.
Damian is too, but he’s very good at hiding it from Talia. Not to say that Dick wouldn’t be just as good an actor, but he doesn’t want to be mean and ruthless. He doesn’t like that he and Damian are forced to be like that.
Maybe it’s Dick who convinced Damian to run away with him to go live with their father. Maybe Damian goes with him because he’s convinced he needs to protect Dick.
And then they show up inside the Batcave waiting for Bruce at the chair at the Batcomputer, turning around in the chair slowly and dramatically because Dick thought it would be funny to scare him and Damian thought it would be a good way to assert dominance. They also both just have a flare for the dramatic.
Bruce does get startled when they turn around as he’s walking to the computer, and Dick falls over laughing with his head in Damian’s lap, and Damian is laughing with him and twisting his fingers in Dick’s hair.
“Who are you two and why are you sitting at my computer?”
“You don’t call it your Batcomputer?” Dick asks, sitting up with a pout on his face.
“Batcomputer is a much better name for it,” Damian agrees.
“And this is your Batcave!” Dick says.
“And those are your Batarangs!” Damian adds.
“And that’s your Batmobile!” Dick exclaims.
“Who are you?” Bruce asks, his voice a bit strangled.
“Your sons,” they say in unison.
Bruce feels like he’s going to faint.
Several months later, Talia shows up at the manor thinking she can convince Bruce to marry her.
“Hello, my love,” she says as she enters the room.
“Hello, my hateful shrew,” Bruce says, turning around and holding five year old twins Dick and Damian in each arm. They’ve told him everything about their upbringing in the League, and he’s none too happy. These are his babies. How dare she be mean to his babies.
Dick sticks his tongue out at Talia, who’s fuming. Damian sees Dick do it and immediately follows suit. Talia is incensed to find out that Dick’s bad habits have finally rubbed off on Damian.
I’m thinking of a de-aging scene a la my Monster in the Mirror fic, where Dick had been kidnapped by the Court of Owls at the age of like 11, and as he’s working with the yj team or whatever, he gets de-aged to a point in time where he was being tortured.
So you have this little 11 year old kid who hasn’t seen his dad or his friends in months, he thinks his grandfather is standing by with a dose of electrum and a scalpel to time how long it takes him to heal from various wounds, and he’s tired and scared and his nerves are fried and he wants to go home, and now he’s being yelled at by people he doesn’t recognize. They’re saying he should have been able to avoid an attack from a magic user. They’re grabbing him and tossing him around and they’re talking at him instead of with him and none of them are noticing the blood stains or the way his limbs are shaking or the way his eyes are specked with yellow.
His grandfather just tortured him under the guise of training, and now he’s with a bunch of unknown supers while he’s actively bleeding and trying not to pass out and the ringing in his ears is making him dizzy.
In his mind, he’s been kidnapped for months. He’s been tortured for months. He thinks he’s stuck and that no one will ever find him.
And then when he’s looking around the room, ignoring the way everyone else is shouting at him and around him and asking for explanations, he finally sees someone familiar. Maybe it’s Oliver. Maybe it’s Barry. Maybe it’s Clark.
And he just crumbles. He cries and he screams and he begs to go home when whoever it is finally comes and catches him before he can fall.
“I want my dad,” he begs. He repeats it, over and over, until he’s gasping, until he chokes on the blood in his mouth, until he’s hyperventilating and about to faint.
Until Batman finally swoops in and holds him, hides him in his cape, and whispers into his ear, “I’m here, you’re okay, it’s okay.”
Idk I just want everyone else realizing too late, “Oh…he’s bleeding. Oh…he doesn’t know who we are,” and Bruce being so angry that no one comforted his obviously distraught and injured son.
Okay you know I love torturing Dick, and by extension Bruce, but lets have some sweet funny Nightwing & Batman interactions
They will fight so loud and so dirty and they’ll be screaming at each other over a disagreement with how to handle an upcoming mission, but then ten minutes later they’re sitting next to each other as they listen to someone else’s idea on how to handle a different part of the mission, and Dick will whisper something in Bruce’s ear and suddenly the two of them are fighting back a laugh. They’re huddled next to each other. Batman’s shoulders are shaking just slightly, and Nightwing has a shit eating grin on his face, and then they’re both coughing just once, but at the same exact time in the same exact way with the same exact motion of covering their mouth with their right fist as they’re obviously biting back a laugh. And it’s so eery, because they’re SO similar that it makes everyone else uncomfortable. Sometimes, they’re not convinced that Nightwing isn’t a clone that Batman made when he got lonely.
“He’s not a clone,” Batman has told everyone a countless number of times.
“He’s my partner,” he’d say when Robin was still new on the scene, and Robin would get a smug look on his face and he’d puff out his chest.
“He’s my best friend,” he told Superman once upon a time.
“He’s like a brother,” he told Oliver when Robin was becoming a teenager.
“He’s my son,” he insists now.
No one knows what their relationship really is, because they’re constantly flip flopping on fighting and being best buddies. They’ve both scolded each other over not taking care of themselves. Batman has sat by Nightwing’s bedside for days, holding his hand, waiting for him to be well enough to move to the Batcave.
Sometimes, they sit at meetings and obviously judge everyone else together. They’re silent about it, sharing nothing but a look with each other to convey exactly what they’re thinking. It’s unnerving.
They both just have so much fun making everyone around them uncomfortable, it’s like a game.
But Nightwing is generally the only one who can call Batman out on his bullshit, and Batman is the only one who can get Nightwing to take a break. They’re both the only ones who can get the other to see a medic half the time.
Others have seen Batman rest his head on Nightwing’s shoulder and seemingly fall asleep. They’ve seen Batman wrap his cape around Nightwing and pull him close. Batman has never hugged anyone else, but he hugs Nightwing back without question, and he’s even initiated it a few times that others have witnessed. It’s insane.
I just love them a lot
Okay but you know how Dick has been around in Batman comics longer than Alfred? What if we keep that concept for a fic
Alfred hasn’t been around Wayne Manor or Gotham in several years. When Bruce went in his world training tour to become Batman, Alfred said enough is enough and went back to England to retire. Bruce wasn’t a child anymore, he didn’t need Alfred anymore, and Alfred wasn’t going to force Bruce to keep him around. He’d retire and live peacefully and send a Christmas card and Birthday card every year.
So when Bruce impulsively adopts 8 year old circus orphan Dick Grayson, it’s just the two of them for a while. Dick and Bruce become best buddies, best friends, partners, brothers, father and son. They love each other. They adore each other.
Then Alfred shows up after a couple years, when Dick is 10. Because he finally heard about Bruce adopting a kid and was worried that Bruce might need help.
And Dick doesn’t trust Alfred at all at first. He clings to Bruce and keeps his distance from this new person claiming to be the butler. It takes a while, but Dick eventually warms up to Alfred.
They eventually become a big happy family, but sometimes Dick will whisper to Bruce, “I miss when it was just us,” and Bruce almost always agrees with him.
Dick should get to be a little deranged. As a treat.
the way i am THINKING about this one https://batsandbirdbrains.tumblr.com/post/805132652157009920/back-to-dick-leaving-the-batfamily-after-bruce
(it could also work after the Invasion and the Reach, when everybody is blaming Dick for literally nothing, i think that would be an interesting time for him to fuck off to demon hunting school)
but what i'm really interested in is how people react afterwards. i think it'd be interesting if Dick is just. gone. for months, and nobody knows where he is, and if it's after Forever Evil, how many people even know he's alive to be missing? i misread the post initially and thought it was post-Spyral which would ALSO be interesting, with the Batfam being too pissed at him to notice him missing at first.
BUT but what after Dick comes back? or at least is sighted again. like i think him joining Justice League Dark is SO INTERESTING (especially if it's post-Reach), and just having absolutely nothing to do with the regular JL. If it's post-Forever Evil or post-Spyral, how many on the League would even know WHY Dick disappeared for months and then came back as Constantine's protege, seeming to have left Nightwing behind entirely?
and what does his training look like? i think people don't focus on the demon stuff enough with Constantine, or if they do, they forget the magic aspect, and it's such a shame because both aspects are SO INTERESTING. and off of that, magic being like the one thing Bruce never understands or gets the hang of, and the fear that puts in him especially when one of his kids is dabbling in it (though Dick is doing much more than dabbling). like i think even more than becoming Renegade or a mercenary, Dick becoming a magic user would disturb Bruce the most
sorry i have no idea where my brain is at with this, but the glorious angst of Dick returning to the League but with Justice League Dark is so interesting to me, as well as the way this... shift of Dick's violence affects both him and those around him. Does Bruce care that he's killing demons? Are Dick's old friends disturbed how easily Dick slips into lethal violence with magical and/or demonic threats? What does the rest of the JL and/or the Titans/Team think about losing Nightwing, one of their greatest members? Like, they still have him, he still does jobs, but never anything that isn't magic-related, and he refuses all team-ups bar none, except his teammates with JLD? Does Dick have a new hero name/persona?
(personally Nightjar is maybe the one i'd go with, as suggested in the series The Courier by Whymustwedolife on ao3, whose magic world-building is stellar and so so interesting in the DC world. I could also see Dick not changing his hero name from Nightwing, though, as like. an extra fuck-you to Bruce and/or the Batfam and/or the League and/or Titans)
i'm not sure how i would do it personally, but i'd be so interested to see what his training entails, especially as something entirely different than anything Harry Potter-related, which just isn't my cup of tea. Like what does magic training look like between a single master and apprentice? especially if that master is Constantine, who is such a delightfully odd egg? gods they would bicker SO MUCH i just know it, but as soon as someone suggests they don't like each other, they would be APPALLED like, "No, that's my weird stinky wizard man wdym" (they both think this about each other).
anyway sorry this isn't coherent, i'm having so many Vibe thoughts but so few concrete ones and i'm curious if you've had any further thoughts about this au. i just think Dick deserves to hunt demons and ghosts and necromancers with swords. Constantine should teach Dick to use demon-hunting swords exclusively to fuck with Deathstroke.
(i've been interacting from my side btw @beepbeepwhatdoyouthink)
I love everything about this. Im not as familiar with Justice League Dark and Constantine in general, but isn’t Deadman in Justice League Dark, and doesn’t Dick become Deadman at some point? Or am I mixing up characters, that very possible. Regardless, I think it would be SO fun if Dick just fucking shows up as Constantine’s apprentice. ESPECIALLY if he keeps the name Nightwing, as a giant fuck you to everyone who was mean to him for no reason lmao
I fully agree with you that Dick and Constantine would bicker back and forth constantly like an old married couple, and everyone thinks they hate each other, but they get offended when anyone implies that they don’t like each other.
Tbh I’m not super familiar with how magic works in the DC universe so I’m not totally sure how the apprenticeship would work, but I think eventually it would become a partnership. Maybe Dick has natural magical affinities for whatever the fuck Constantine does, and so he really just needs some initial guidance on how to utilize it. So the apprenticeship itself doesn’t last long, but they don’t want to stop working with each other. They enjoy each other’s company. They have a good time fucking around and irritating people like Batman.
Oh also Batfam reality TV but it’s really low quality (like filmed on an iPhone camera kinda quality) and uploaded on YouTube. Whichever Robin has control of the account at the time will edit the videos to make whoever they’re mad at look the worst (Oracle actively encourages this so long as she’s not the target)
- tomato anon
I like to think that every episode would start with: “Hi, I’m Robin. Welcome to jackass!”
And then it just cuts to whoever is the subject of tonight’s shenanigans absolutely eating shit as they trip over their own gadgets or whatever.
I think it would be hilarious if Dick got picked as a Lantern right in the middle of the Renegade arc. Slade is suddenly very much out of his paygrade and trying to figure out how not to end up on the space cops shit list.
The real question is: how would the other Green Lanterns react when they find out what he was up to when he was chosen by the ring?
I do like our little scenarios when Hal ends up adopting Dick, but maybe one of the other Lanterns should have a turn getting to be the mentor for once lmao (I do think Dick and Guy would make a delightfully chaotic team)
