Hell Horse Tarot

I'm Brenn. And I love giving tarot readings! I have some experience but with wonderful results; I've gotten excellent and positive feedback from everyone I've read.

[falseocean-deactivated20250725]

The card of the day is...

The Empress. This card represents divine femininity, fertility, and beauty. Establish a strong connection with your feminine energy and allow it to enrich your life.

[hillbillyoracle]

PSA: I'm not a good person to follow if you're especially fragile or reactive around mentions of Christianity

My partner is Catholic. Appalachian folk magic is firmly grounded in a Christian context. A lot of traditional astrology and astrological magic is framed in Christian terms as well.

Every now and then I get folks who follow me because they found a shadow work or a tarot post and seem shocked and hurt that I am not antagonistic toward Christianity. So I'm just putting it out there so there is no confusion - I am not a neopagan, Wiccan, or New Ager. My magical practice is a mix of ceremonial and folk magic. My spiritual practice is centered on ancestors and a few key spirits I work with - some of whom are Christian.

No judgment if you want to curate your feed to exclude mentions of Christianity. Please do what's right for you.

[hillbillyoracle]

It’s 3am and I have a very heretical Divine Genders take:

Divine Masculine - God the Father

Divine Feminine - Blessed Virgin Mary

Divine Chaosyne - The Holy Spirit

Divine Androgyne - Jesus

[silkirose]

I am making animal crossing tarot cards and no one can stop me

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[stayprettyandsmile]

To anyone who’s reading this I hope something wonderful happens to you and that you have an amazing week. Sending you lots of good vibes!!!

[hillbillyoracle]

Some Thoughts on Why White Pagans Need to Heal Their Relationships with Christianity

Note: I’ve been trying to write a piece like this for months and the only way I know how to write this is to be very vulnerable and personal. So just please keep that in mind as you read this. It isn’t very refined and it’s something I’m still very much in process with, to borrow a phrase from my charismatic Christian upbringing. It’s more a diary entry than a finished piece and none of these thoughts are original or eloquent. My hope it’s helpful to see someone thinking through these things though.

If you’re white and you don’t want to further colonization and imperialism in your spirituality, then going back to Christianity in some form is pretty necessary; to do the work of decolonizing it’s doctrines and to prevent taking from traditions that aren’t ours.

This is just the conclusion I’ve arrived at after a lot shadow working in and around both my ancestors and my religious trauma. My ancestors aren’t all white Europeans. But given that I’m white and I don’t have any way to carry on the traditions of those that weren’t, I feel like the best way to honor those non-white ancestors is to go back to the spiritual traditions I do have access to and doing the work of reshaping them into something less harmful.

I have read and intellectually understood that culture forms the foundation of spirituality and that when you remove something from it’s originating culture, that concept or tool no longer works properly, if at all. In working with my non-white ancestors, I really got it on a practical and emotional level. There was this sense that they’d love for me to know their traditions but that it required an understanding that just isn’t possible for me given my upbringing and disconnection - “you don’t know the words and there’s no way to find a person who can teach you” as one ancestor put it. It was an important reminder that “this isn’t for white people” isn’t merely a categorical assertion but a cultural and practical one.

They’ve generally asked I stick to practices I have a cultural grounding in when honoring them, even though it is not theirs - the cultural and linguistic element is that important to them. They would rather an authentic expression of gratitude and care through a ritual that isn’t theirs rather than an imitation of one that is or being left out of my practice all together. Which makes sense to me in a relational way I hadn’t fully grasped before.

In working with my white ancestors, I’ve come to more viscerally understand that the present understanding of Christianity is wildly different than other historical understandings. One thing that surprised me was that some of my more recent ancestors have expressed more discomfort around my queerness and transness than many of my older ancestors but both root their understanding in the Bible. I enjoyed one ancestor who, when I explained that I’m partnered with a woman, to mean that I would have a life of service - “no men to distract you from God” - which I mean is not wrong on several levels. It really highlighted for me that Christian doctrine is far more flexible than I’d initially thought. It challenged ideas I’d picked up through traumatic religious experiences. So much of what I’d assumed was Christianity itself seems to be more Christianity right now.

The historical angle is really important me. One of the things that drove my interest in Paganism was trying to understand what came before Christianity, to connect with whatever had been cut off in that process. The more I’ve come to learn about imperialism within Europe - how various empires conquered and destroyed localized traditions indigenous to parts of Europe - it clicked for me that my white ancestors did to others what had been done to them. It is intergenerational trauma in a nutshell.

It’s also striking to me that so many people term the traditions pagans pull from as “dead” religions or at the very least “not living”. For years I took that to mean they were “safe” to take from, that I wouldn’t hurt anyone by doing so. But I hadn’t really understood the weight of what “dead” meant - that there was no one left alive who could teach me, that I can’t live in a context where all of the beliefs, tools, and traditions make intuitive sense. And if it was important to my ancestors who had had a connection to their traditions, then what was I missing by reanimating these traditions without that link?

I don’t have a full visceral understanding of what I’m missing to be honest. I have a feeling that’ll develop as my practice evolves. But that question alone has marked a pretty important change in how I understand myself spiritually.

The living and cultural element to my practice is more important to me now. For me, just given the family, community, and area I was raised in, that means Christianity is the living tradition I have access to and I’ve been revisiting it. I was reading an interview the other day with someone who is both a Catholic theologian and a practicing Buddhist. I liked the way he put it when he referred to Catholicism as “one of his sources of wisdom”. That better captures my relationship with Christianity that’s been unfolding over the last few months.

Making sure that intergenerational spiritual trauma stops as much as possible with me is really important. I had mistakenly thought that meant abandoning Christianity all together, that it was the problem. Which in hindsight, is fucking wild - I hugely fucked up there. There’s nothing stopping me from just enacting the harm I learned in the context of Christianity in a different context, a Pagan context. It doesn’t get to the root of the issue. At the end of the day, I just want to be sure I do not use my religion, any religion, to further the harms of structural inequality and colonial oppression. That’s the goal.

In reading around about this, I’ve come to feel pretty strongly that one of the best ways to work toward that is to strive toward animism. Animism has been a great antidote to the spiritual entitlement that colonial religions cultivate (including white paganism). Animism also builds a relational spirituality rather than a goal/individual centered one. White paganism isn’t inherently animistic since white culture teaches values that undermine quality relationships - individualism, competitiveness, and seeking domination of some fashion in order to feel safe. An animistic lens requires you unlearn those values and cultivate new ones - mutuality, respect, and accountability.

So all this is to say that given my current understanding, I think trying to build a practice out of New Age concepts while trying to avoid appropriation sounds impossible and hellish. I also think it doesn’t deal with the work that needs done. I’m choosing to take an animist lens to the living traditions I do have to see if that’s a better space for both my spirituality and my evolving understand of decolonizing to grow in.

People will rightly question my use of the term “shadow work” given this perspective. Shadow work is a problematic term for a lot of different reasons that are beyond the scope of this piece.  Where I’m at with it right now is that most western religious traditions seem to have some understanding of what we might call shadow work which points to it being important and useful. However they all used different terms given their contexts so I’m still unsure of what term might be the most appropriate given where I’m at. So for right now, you might see me use it less in the title or body of work I write from here on out, but I still might use it as a tag to make it findable. There’s a good shot this doesn’t go far enough and I’m not sold on this approach. Just know it’s something I’m trying to figure out.

So that’s where I’m at right now. I think white pagans really need to be more serious about animism at minimum and hopefully also looking at the role living religious traditions play in their current practice as well. I think white pagans’ unhealed reactivity around Christianity too often serves as a justification for spiritual appropriation and furthering colonial harm. Changes are definitely needed. What that looks like in practice for individuals will likely vary a ton. I’d love to hear from other folks doing work in this vein. What’s worked for you so far? What hasn’t? Where are you in the process?

[birches-and-hawks]

I feel like when you say white pagans you unintentionally assume that all of us are american and that all of us are cut off from sources, at least that’s how it comes across to me. Similarly, you mention ‘dead practices’ as if hellenistic paganism wasn’t still an ongoing religion, nordic, slavic and celtic pagans don’t exist and as if there are no folk magic present all throughout Europe and these are just some examples of paganism. All of them are considered white paganism, none of them are dead and there are actual teachers as well, mostly family members.

The way you talk about white pagans as if they are completely cut off from the source doesn’t sit right with me because at the very least it’s possible to find information on it. If we put your whole post in the perspective of white non-european pagans? Then it would make a lot more sense and I would even agree with the things you said in this post, 100%. But I think it was just a poor choice of words and it made it come across ignorant.

[hillbillyoracle]

It might be a poor choice of words - being that I literally state that at the beginning of the piece - but given that you missed that and quite a bit else I mentioned, perhaps there’s some poor listening/reading going on for your side as well. 

Imperialism still existed within Europe. Folks might be further removed from that history than those of us here in America, but it still happened. I even explicitly talk about it in this post in the context of my European ancestors - they did what was done to them. They went to a new place and participated in institutions that tried to stomp out indigenous spiritualities - when their ancestors had been subject to the same thing within Europe. 

In the US, that imperialism is ongoing and started much more recently comparatively. In Europe, how recent that history is varies WIDELY depending on the practice you’re talking about but for some it can have started over a thousand years ago. That doesn’t mean it didn’t happen, just that there’s more distance. For me, it’s strange not to factor that in just cause it’s older. In some places could be argued that it’s still on going as well. 

I’m not saying everyone is cut off from source - a stretch at best - but it’s weird to ignore the fact that those sources for the vast majority of white folks reconstructing pagan practice from - including Europeans - come to us through the filter of Christianity. When I talk about Christian doctrine being intertwined with colonialism, that history well predates the colonization of the Americas. What living remnants there are of a lot of those European indigenous practices have most often be preserved within a Christian context even if it is a hold over from an older time. 

In the context of what I wrote here, living does not mean having living practioners. Living means having a spiritual tradition that was passed from person to person within a culture that also shapes and is shaped by that tradition. That doesn’t require a group to be a majority necessarily but large enough to maintain a culture of it’s own. 

Reconstructed is not the same as living. It means the link got broken which means the cultural element at minimum not what it once was. The vast majority of white pagan practice is reconstructed. Where it’s not completely reconstructed, it is still informed by a long history with Christianity. The point at which a reconstructed practice once again becomes living was a hot debate in religious studies circles last I was in that world. 

The argument I personally was most swayed by is that most (but not all) modern Pagan practice, even if reconstructed, will always be something so fundamentally different from the source practice that it will never truly be a continuation. But that’s just me. There are plenty of people who disagree with me and we don’t call each other ignorant for it.

This also doesn’t negate like the existence of folk practices - that’s a real leap in misunderstanding me. Folk practices do not a whole cultural understanding of a spirituality make. I am from the Appalachian region in the US. In my family alone, there are several folk practices I was taught that have direct ties to traditions that predate Christianity in the regions most of my ancestors came from. However - they were taught to me in a Christian culture and mostly, through a Christian lens. And that warps folk practices, even if it allows them to survive and continue

There are in fact still European indigenous groups practicing their living traditions. But the groups you name are just not it. There are definite cultural rifts for them. 

I fully admit that I am not an expert and I do not have the lived experience of a European, but I have studied that history. Also, my realization that I needed to revisit Christianity was in part sparked by the writings of Europeans trying to revive their area’s indigenous practices, by how they’ve navigated the needs to go back to sources shaped by Christianity and really be able to see what is Christian and what it not, and their realizations that reactivity got in the way of that process. You may not agree that that’s the way and that’s fine. But it’s definitely not just Americans talking about that process. 

The core realization I talk about in my post - that spirituality and culture can’t be neatly separated and that I need to revisit Christianity to make peace with it so that I don’t take colonial ideas imbedded in the doctrine with me into whatever practice I establish next - still stand. Like I literally say at several points that this is just where I’m at and what I’m thinking. Not everyone who writes something on here is trying to get you believe the way they do. Feel free to not. 

I personally do not get the European insistence that the interplay between Imperialism and Christianity is an American phenomena. Like where do you think European settlers practiced a lot of these tactics? On each other. In Europe. But hey to each their own. 

[bioqueen]

First of all I think you made some point in your response that were much needed for the context of the original post you made. While I didn’t really agree with the first post, this response you wrote included many clarifications about the situation and I agree with most of the points you made, especially where you talked about how pagan practices come to us through a christian lens because thats very much the case. So I do agree with many of the points you clarified in your response.  But I do think that you misunderstood me at some places because I never argued against imperialism in Europe, that’s not the point I tried to make at all. Imperialism very much exists and has existed in Europe, that’s no secret so I don’t think it was necessary for you to come after me for something I didn’t say in my response. 

[hillbillyoracle]

I’m not asserting that it’s something you put in your response - I’m saying it’s the context that was missed.

Imperialism was practiced in Europe and brought to the US. I’m writing about my exploration of trying unlearn that imperialism and colonialism and saying that what helped me was going back to Christianity to pick out the good I want to keep from the bad I don’t instead of reactively hand waving it. That’s just what’s worked for me personally and it’s what I was recommending for other folks who are looking to stop appropriating too. 

My point that was since imperialism was practiced in Europe, embedded in Christianity, and most white folks - including those in Europe - are growing up in cultures shaped by those forces, it’s worth revisiting Christianity to make sure we unlearn the spiritual artifacts of imperialism we might have picked up. 

I mentioned it because I felt like it was a key piece missing when considering whether what I said applied to white Europeans at all. If you disagree with me still, that’s cool. I fully get not everyone’s gonna be on board with that. 

[hellhorsetarot]

Reaching out to Passed Loved Ones through Tarot

I have tried this before, but this time went so much better!  There was clarity and it was so smooth, though the session was regretfully short.

When I saw a post by @hillbillyoracle yesterday, I knew I wanted to implement the recommended techniques to reach out to spirits via tarot.  It helped me so much!

I had decided I really wanted to hear from my late Grandma B or her sister, Aunt E.  I never met Aunt E, as she died before I was born from mixing medications with substances.  I really think a lot of her, though, because she had schizophrenia which is part of my primary diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder (schizophrenia and bipolar!).

Honestly, I was hoping for Aunt E to give me advice how to find happiness with my disorder.  How do I keep living when I can’t get ahead because of my disability?

Grandma B had something more urgent to tell me.  And I have known about it for a while, but only recently have I begun to look at it seriously.

---

My mom was nearby as was her pendulum when I began the reading.  We noticed her pendulum, who we call Krystal (she/her), was suddenly moving wildly.  Krystal doesn’t like me even though I paid for her, and Mom asked her if it was Grandma B (her mom) or Aunt E.  We defined what motion meant what. 

Krystal said it was Grandma B.

I opened with a small prayer while holding my rosary, and I know Grandma would appreciate this.  Then I pulled my go-to deck, but no cards came from it and it felt unyielding.  I kept glancing at another deck, so I exchanged them.

Grandma gave me two cards, both numbered 7.  The Chariot and the 7 of Wands (reversed).  This is from the Pagan Cats tarot deck.

I asked for something to clarify from my Bluebird fortune teller deck.

Mice.  Interesting, it was coming together so clearly.

I wondered about my runes.  Grandma gave me the go ahead and I did what I do.  Three fell to the counter.  Two were face-down.  8 on the Chariot and 14 on the seven of Wands.  But then, off my tarot mat (so wonderfully gifted to me by my friend, @eramegido !) a rune had landed face-up on my rosary prayer guide.  Upon further inspection, it had landed specifically over the words “our Lord”.

I see what you’re saying, Grandma!  My grandmother (actually, all my grandparents) was a devout Catholic woman.  Before she passed when two of my cousins came out as gay, she learned to be supportive and never stopped loving them.  I like to think she’d be accepting of me as genderqueer, bisexual, and possibly polyamorous haha.  

Anyway, so I looked at everything as a whole and individually.  The world keeps going, it fell under my small jar of sodalite.  A truth, it was a truth.  And hidden with it was the fact that I cannot change what is meant to be.  It is out of my hands.  I can only trust (in this case, my Lord) and have faith that all will be well.  Meanwhile, The other card said that I’m in a losing battle.  There could be two applications for this but the rune clarified: roots, family.  This is a family battle and it isn’t a fair fight at all.  And these fell below my rose quartz, which is a stone about love.  Mice, they are a card about stealing from you with pleasure.

Growing up, my mom raised mice and she had two favorites: the momma mouse and her son.  My mom’s favorite child is her youngest son.... Interestingly enough, this card was laid beneath a small plaque I was given that depicts Mary and her son, (as baby) Jesus.

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And it is just all SO clear to me!  I understood throughout the process and I knew as I concluded exactly what Grandma was telling me.

Mom and younger bro are toxic to the point of abusive to me.  Are there times I can tolerate them?  Yeah, I have to to survive.  But I need out.

And that’s more true now than ever.  I need out even though I don’t have the means and my dad believes he needs to support his wife and son as much as his disabled child too.  I understand where he’s coming from, but my life is sometimes put at risk by them and they are not good to him either.

---

When I finished, I ended with a prayer on my rosary and thanked Grandma as well as our Lord for allowing this to happen and getting the message to me so well.

Mom noticed as I started packing up and she pointed out that Krystal had come to a rest.  No more moving about, especially not so wildly.

This was such an experience!  I’ll have to call it bittersweet, honestly.  I miss Grandma so much, and I am sure it hurts her to have to protect me from her own daughter and grandson... I am so appreciative though.

I recall how she tried to be more involved in my life as I got out of high school.  I think she knew there were family problems and I think she knew I had a disorder that was just getting so bad.  She had probably seen it in me as she had seen it in her own sister....

I am thankful she is watching out for me and so thankful she reached out to me today.

I love you, Grandma, rest well and trust that I will try my best!

[hillbillyoracle]

Tarot for Spirit Work

Since Samhain, All Saints Day, and All Souls Day are coming up this weekend, I wanted to put together my thoughts on using tarot to communicate with spirits. It’s not a complete tutorial by any means. I definitely wouldn’t try speaking with spirits if you don’t know how to make sure they leave and that’s extremely tradition specific. As always, practice safe spirit work folks.

Tarot is my main spirit communication tool. It’s variable and complex with allows for those sorts of meanings to come through. Since I’ve been working with tarot for 13+ years now, the conversation can flow fairly naturally.

Lots of folks prefer a pendulum when starting out. You can actually use tarot in a pendulum like system: Cups for yes, Swords for no, Pentacles for maybe, Wands for it’s complicated, and Major Arcana for ask again later. That’s more than enough to start with even if you don’t know specific tarot meanings.

The one big mistake I see folks making is that they will pull one big spread. One, these are almost always harder to read. It give the spirit one shot to say everything they want and the message can come out kind of garbled. Two, it doesn’t mirror how human conversations work and this matters a lot when you’re working with human dead. If you invite someone to come through, working in small batches let’s there be a give and take. They can shape the conversation too. Especially if you’re inviting someone you knew in life to come through, it’s worth mirroring that exchange in death.

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend and stay safe!

[petzerie]

I’m trying to make Petz tarot cards for an entire deck, but if I’m going to I need a team and community support!

I have a post about it in the Creative Corner of the RKC, if interested there.

[hellhorsetarot]

Can I have advice on how to make -decent- maybe even --good-- tarot cards based on Petz virtual pets??

[an-stoirm]

Using a Dice for Divination

(Image Description: A orange white-speckled twenty-sided dice sits in a white sea shell with a black cloth below it.)

I may have posted about this before, but I honestly don’t remember how I tagged it or how long ago it was. So, I’ll just make a new post ^_^

A while ago, I made up a system for divining with a d20. This was because I love my table-top role-playing games that use d20s – notably, D&D Fifth Edition. However, someone asked me how to use a d10 for divination. While I don’t have a system in place for a d10, the way I came to my divination system for a d20 could easily be applied to a d10. 

I’ll put the explanation under a cut in case it gets lengthy:

Keep reading

[geminiwave]

More cat tarot by popular request

[weaver-z]

Accidentally bought my cat cantrip instead of catnip and now she’s casting eldritch blast at me from the overlook of her cat tree while demanding wet food only

[hillbillyoracle]

Trans and Queer Spirituality 101 by The Hillbilly Oracle • A podcast on Anchor

In this episode, I got over considerations for incorporating transness and queerness into your spiritual practice. We cover basic tenets, representation, and magical systems that are queer and trans affirmative.

Check it out! Listen now!

I completely forgot to post about this on Sunday because so much is going on at home here. Recorded this one a little while ago so I hope it hold up well. 

[motherfucker-unlimited]

Opening a tarot booster pack i got 4 common Towers and one holographic Death

[hellhorsetarot]

My first attempt at automatic writing worked very well! I reached out to someone who has been reaching out to me in dreams, I believe, Mary, Mother of God.

It went so well and I hope to get more into it as time goes on. I’d also like to try scrying with water as well!

[hellhorsetarot]

I did a reading for myself! A grand general life reading. And it worked out really well! Would anyone be interested if I offered these sort of readings for a price?

[wodneswynn-deactivated-deactiva]

Me reading your tarot cards: "Okay, I have drawn the Empress, the Queen of Discs, the, uh.... jack of diamonds, blue eyes white dragon, a couple of Swamp lands, and Pikachu."

[wodneswynn-deactivated-deactiva]

I place the Knave of Swords face down in defense mode and end my turn