Austin

My name is Austin, and I am a 23 year old gay, white, and human man, just like all humans. I hold only two arms on my torso and function like a pure human only. I live in the place where all Homo sapient live and can speak German, which is the only real language of the human population. Photosynthesis is not something that I do, since I am not a plant and am a well functioning, gay, white, man, human, like all humans.

[helloiamaustin]

You may think the all seeing orb is hard to come by, but DoorDash can transport unimaginable burdens.

[helloiamaustin]

Guy ( crashing out) : yeah and I’m a fucking loser okay this is all my fault because I’m stupid.

Alien (who wants to help and wants to know what they can do to help but who also doesn’t understand ragebait and is currently imitating a 6 year old) : I know you are but what am I

[helloiamaustin]

Two dogs arguably made of cheese and you’re telling me I can’t eat them. They’re made of cheese they’re sitting right next to me. You’re saying. I can’t eat either ofthem .

[helloiamaustin]

Daily lineup:

[helloiamaustin]

Stop eating cheese with the fleas and come get some milk with an ominous man. Like uhh mee.

[helloiamaustin]

Thinking about that box of trinkets they found under the pyramids .

This didn’t happen by the way I was lying.

Call that homosexual the way my home make him sexual guys I don’t know what I’m doing please call the funeral home

[helloiamaustin]

Me: hey mom where did you put the wine

My mother who had it once but I think she died I don’t know it wasn’t there umm. I didn’t books very far yeah I told them that but they weren’t listening. Yeah I know he’s a dick but. No I told you what they weren’t listening okay . 👌

[helloiamaustin]

“””F ed us card boar!!!”””

We all shout in ynison

[helloiamaustin]

SALMONELLA ATTACK!!!!!!! ✈️✈️🏢🏢

[helloiamaustin]

We created god to create us

[helloiamaustin]

Gri

[helloiamaustin]

This man does NOT speak German

Uhhhhhh what are you talking about yes I do I totally speak German I am fluent in only German because that is the language I speak!!!!!!!

[helloiamaustin]

NOT A PLANT NOT A PLANT NOT A PLANT NOT A PLANT NOT A PLANT NOT A PLANT NOT A PLANT NOT A PLANT NOT A PLANT

[helloiamaustin]

You could say I put the rat in rational

[helloiamaustin]

My wonderful friend told me I’m not gay enough

[helloiamaustin]

You could say I put the rat in rational

[helloiamaustin]

All my friend are fish

[helloiamaustin]

Reality is not real