making fake tumblr posts ignore me

fake blog making my silly little posts

[helloscully]

[helloscully]

but did you go to taco bell?

Of course I did I’m not a monster

[helloscully]

Why is no one in this town normal

[helloscully]

The grief you're going through at the moment must be harrowing. I'm so sorry this is happening to you. It really just goes to show that you can't trust anyone these days, everybody has demons. I can't imagine how devastating it would be to make friends with someone, love them, care for them, and learn that they had secretly been from Gloucester this whole time

SJJABABDJK AGDVDDVGV LJKD SJDBV????

[helloscully]

ARE BRITISH PEOPLE OKAY

[helloscully]

The grief you're going through at the moment must be harrowing. I'm so sorry this is happening to you. It really just goes to show that you can't trust anyone these days, everybody has demons. I can't imagine how devastating it would be to make friends with someone, love them, care for them, and learn that they had secretly been from Gloucester this whole time

SJJABABDJK AGDVDDVGV LJKD SJDBV????

[helloscully]

THE BUILDING BURNED DOWN???????

[helloscully]

Okayy so I updated my coworkers on the situation. Travis and I quit. My manager put in her 2 weeks and thankfully had the foresight to make recordings of the police ignoring our concerns, so we should be clear on a legal standpoint. None of us are going back to that building if we can help it except Mike, who said he’s gonna do 1 more nightshift and open in the morning when he assumes the police will get here. On the plus side I no longer feel bad about the hose incident

[helloscully]

[proseccoprosecutor]

Only on tumblr does a near 40 year old cold case finally get solved because an X-Files shitposter found the body of the murderer stuck inside the mascot costume it used to kill people in at their workplace and started sharing pictures of him like he was the beloved company pet. Webbed site

[gaypussinboobs]

[proseccoprosecutor]

The funniest part is I genuinely don’t think they know and no one seems to have told them. I assumed it would be all over the news

[helloscully]

Hi!! Um. WHAT

[miss-teriouslyyyy]

“Blood stains found at a gay nightclub in Hurricane, UT were a DNA match for William Afton, the prime suspect in the Fazbear 5 case, a horrific incident where on June 26th 1985, 5 children between the ages of 6-11 went missing inside of a local family restaurant.

Afton was arrested but later released due to lack of substantial evidence, despite protests from the victim’s families. Security footage showed the children being escorted away from the restaurant’s main dining hall by an individual in a mascot costume, obscuring the face and any other key identifying features of the perpetrator. As the creative director and founder of the company, Afton was the primary suspect for years until his reported disappearance in 1993.

An immigrant from Gloucester and CEO of his own robotics company, Afton was described by customers as “a troubled man,” noting a significant decline in his mental health following the deaths of his two youngest children. Utah detectives and true crime fanatics alike have been working for decades to find evidence linking him to the crime, but the case was considered cold until yesterday, where a twitter user posted an image of the same mascot costume that had been caught in action all those years ago, retaining significant damage and wandering around a gay bar. CCTV footage showed him leaving with two inebriated young adults yet to be identified, and leaving trace amounts of blood on the floor.

Police have been hesitant to make an arrest since his current whereabouts are unknown, but several frustrated locals have pointed to Fazbear Frights, a horror attraction themed around the disappearances slated to open next Monday. Hurricane PD have announced that they will be reopening the decades old investigation, and will make a public statement regarding the situation tomorrow. Afton's eldest and only surviving son Michael was approached by journalists but refused to comment.

I think they found your English Willy babe

[helloscully]

[proseccoprosecutor]

Only on tumblr does a near 40 year old cold case finally get solved because an X-Files shitposter found the body of the murderer stuck inside the mascot costume it used to kill people in at their workplace and started sharing pictures of him like he was the beloved company pet. Webbed site

[gaypussinboobs]

[proseccoprosecutor]

The funniest part is I genuinely don’t think they know and no one seems to have told them. I assumed it would be all over the news

[helloscully]

Hi!! Um. WHAT

[helloscully]

Did you hear English Willy made it onto stan twitter? There's a picture of him out in the wild

HUH

[gaypussinboobs]

I think anon was talking about this lol

[helloscully]

IM??????????????????????????

[helloscully]

Did you hear English Willy made it onto stan twitter? There's a picture of him out in the wild

HUH

[helloscully]

It’s 4am. Mike just sent me this

[helloscully]

My 1 (one) day off this week and I get hit with this fucking tomfoolery

[helloscully]

Oh this is bad

[helloscully]

Via my manager’s snapchat: “Travis is like 6 rum and cokes deep and has finally come around to English Willy, they were sitting slumped against a wall blacked out while One of Your Girls by Troye Sivan was playing. I think it’s their song now. Truly a bromance for the century”

This is officially too dumb for me to be mad at

[helloscully]

My 1 (one) day off this week and I get hit with this fucking tomfoolery

[helloscully]

Oh this is bad

[helloscully]

My 1 (one) day off this week and I get hit with this fucking tomfoolery

[helloscully]

Wait so how did you find out he's british or whatever. Like what does he actually say outside of the good/bad rattle-moans?

oh man I can't believe I forgot to explain that (I've gotten a bunch of asks about this). He mostly mumbles to himself, it's barely louder than a whisper but still noticeable. It's not very easy to understand since it's mixed in with a mechanical whirring noise but we think we've heard him saying other people's names. Most often he'll say "Herry" (Henry? Harry?) and "Libbef" (Libby? Not a clue) but he's recently taken to calling out to the nightguard (Mike) when he's not on shift. And we can tell he's British because when he babbles under his breath he sounds like a London mobster. It would be hilarious if it were not deeply disturbing