After 20 years of education, I was ready to land the perfect job that would pave my yellow brick road to Oz. Then, reality sunk in…I’m not only broke, but also in debt. Therefore, all of those expectations didn’t align with reality and I found myself moving back home with the parents. After 3 months of looking for work, I finally stumbled across a production assistant job. There I gained valuable e-commerce experience and made some great friends. However, my main concern was that I wasn’t making enough money to be independent. Although I was working full-time, I STILL couldn’t afford living on my own due to Santa Barbara’s high cost of living, student loans, and other essential expenses. It was then that I realized, if I didn’t pursue my dream of living in France right away, I might not have the chance to do it again.
Without a delay, I got in touch with a friend who au paired in Germany. He referred me to greataupair and aupair-world as starting points. After a few weeks, a Spanish family who was living just 15 miles (27 km) west of Paris contacted me. Since they both worked full-time jobs, they needed help with her 10-year-old son, who was involved with many extracurricular activities. Coincidentally, my parents and I were traveling to France to celebrate my graduation, which allowed my overprotective parents to meet my host family in person; for those of you without overprotective parents, Skype is a great alternative ;-) We all instantly connected and started planning my move to France. I put in a couple months notice to my job, and started the preparations!
If you’re interested in moving abroad, au pairing is a great way to learn about a new culture and language from a local’s perspective. Here’s my French Republic Long Stay Visa Application checklist:
Long Stay Visa Application form (date of departure)
Au Pair Contract stamped and approved by the French Ministry of Labour (must be obtained by the host family in France at the DIRECCT. This is the most time consuming part because you have to mail originals back and forth)
Proof of student status (Diploma officially translated into French)
Proof of registration in a language school
Self Addressed FedEx Express “US Airbill” & FedEx envelope (That’s for when the French Embassy mails your Visa back to you. Processing time is approximately 14 days)
Make an appointment online
It's a hefty list, but it’s definitely doable within a few months!
I learned an innumerable amount of life lessons while abroad. I’m not going to lie; the first couple of months were a struggle. I started out as a homesick, self-conscious, timid, and confused wreck. I was unwillingly experiencing sibling rivalry (only child problems), living in a small “pensioner” village where 20 something-year-olds were a rare sighting, tired of the grey gloom, too scared to venture out into Paris alone, spending twice as much time searching for grocery items at the Super U, and stressing out about France’s narrow roads/cramped parking spaces/round-abouts/confusing rules for drivers on your right. After an encouraging talk with my childhood best friend, I decided enough was enough! I wanted to live in France, nobody forced me. I was only a train ride away from Paris, the most romantic and magical city in the world, and here I was sulking… pathétique!
I figured I could use an extra boost of endorphins. So, I went on a run out to the flower fields while blasting Julie Andrew’s empowering rendition of “I Have Confidence” from The Sound of Music several times.
“I've always longed for adventure
To do the things I've never dared
And here I'm facing adventure
Then why am I so scared?”
Maria poses a great question, why are we so scared to take that final leap? Is it fear of failure? Fear of embarrassment? Fear of being embarrassed from our failures? Personally, the entire reason WHY I wanted to live abroad was to get out of my comfort zone and become the confident, leading lady of my life. As one university professor once told me during an office-hour breakdown, “Shanée, it’s time to put your big girl pants on.”
Yes, I will make mistakes. Yes, I will do silly things and say stupid stuff. But it’s WHAT we do with those mistakes that matter. HOW we deal with all of those humbling moments and come out on top.
All of this led to my discovery of a flawless scientific formula:
Dead End + Long Talk with Best Friend + Endorphins + Julie Andrews + Dancing in Flower Fields + Majestic Sunsets + Traumatizing Constructive Criticism from a University Professor = EPIPHANY
When in doubt, just keep singing “I HAVE CONFIDENCE IN ME!” and who knows…we just might surprise ourselves.
*Completely irrelevant, but for Sound of Music lovers in California, YOU JUST HAVE TO EXPERIENCE THIS. It's definitely on my bucket list!
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