walking contradiction

⛧ 20 year old european girl ⛧ ☠︎︎ this is my diary and things i like ☠︎︎ ꩜ satanic black metal!!! ꩜

[mentolmavisi]

Kediler mükemmel varlıklar

[brokenightlight]

[70sscifiart]

A classic Bruce Pennington work, used as a 1973 cover to ‘Children of Tomorrow,’ by A. E. van Vogt.

[courtneyhellenphoto]

the best shot I’ve taken of blue pool to this day. it’s definitely cold, definitely worth getting in, and definitely one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen.

[helmofon3596]

i feel fucking terrible again. im tired as fuck all the time. i wish i was still a teenager. people expect too much of me, and im just so fucking weak and hopeless.

its been over a month since i started my internship (and studying at the same time). until now, i thought its all right and surprisingly i was doing just fine but now its all just building up, all the pressure and exhaustion. now its gonna be worse and worse each day and theres over 170 hours of work left.

the long may weekend has been a disaster. i was excited to do something refreshing outdoor but hahahahah how could i ever think that??? boom heres period and pain. i can never have one good fucking day in my life. today i brushed my teeth for the first time this week. and i still havent washed my hair.

[kyotoprotocols]

[knightedangel-deactivated202605]

[mounchii]

The Moon✨🌕

[helmofon3596]

everything that could go wrong JUST WENT wrong. i regret being born and all of my decisions in life. suicide speaks louder and louder to me each day.

[luver4ever]

doppelgänger

[helmofon3596]

I FUCKING HATE MYSELF AND EVERYTHING THAT SURROUNDS ME I HATE MY FACE MY VOICE MY BODY I HATE MY DOG MY SISTER MY MOTHER MY BOYFRIEND I HATE. LOVE DOES NOT EXIST THERE IS ONLY SADNESS REGRET AND WRATH. I WANT TO KILL EVERYTHING AND STAB EVERY KNIFE BETWEEN EACH OF THEIR FUCKING RIBS. ALL OF THE WORLD IS AGAINST ME. EVERY ATOM IS AN ENEMY. IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE. HOPE IS NOT THE WAY. EVEN DEATH WILL NOT RELEASE ME. TU NIE MA WYJSCIA.

[helmofon3596]

i hate myself more and more with every picture of my face i see. im sad for my boyfriend who has to look at that face and say he loves me. i dont understand how anyone can stand that sight. i fucking hate myself. you ugly bastard.

[helmofon3596]

he loves leaving me. he says he'll be back in an hour and comes back after six hours. "you can always rely on me" 🫩. and when i tell him i dont believe that we'll stay together forever and that he'll probably break up with me eventually he just says that i'm hurting him by saying such bullshit. i don't know if i can even trust anyone. they all lie.

i asked him to say at least one of my good qualities and he said "nice"... .......... bro....... ..... . thats what you said about a classmate who youve never talked with, not about your girlfriend you see everyday.

[helmofon3596]

these holidays dont feel like holidays. its cold and raining all the time. im bored and im NOT having fun. i constantly want to cry. i fake my joy so my friends still want to hang out with me. im falling into depression again. also im losing memory, skills and motivation. im a terrible person.

[stigmatasurvivor]

even angels cry for you...

[y-ureii]

[sorcerersskull]