𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐂 𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐄

Bg3 companion RP blog

[helmworn]

     # 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐌𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐍 , an independent , selective   &   crossover friendly RP blog for original companion  𝗕𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐃  —   a Paladin of Helm  —  Oath of the Ancients from Baldur's Gate 3 , Mun   &   Muse +25 , healed by Fungi [ she/her; they/them ]  , heavy topics, gore, potential nsfw warning  ,  personals DNI

      reestablished 2026

                  𝐃𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐎𝐍 𝐌𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐈 𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄        𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇  𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄        𝗕𝐆3  𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄𝐒

                                            𝐑𝐏  𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒     𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒/𝐀𝗕𝐎𝐔𝐓  

                                                                 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐎

𝗕𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐋 :  ⬩  @bloodyarn   (  companion  oc  )    ⬩  @swarmcall   (  companion  oc  ) ⬩  @sleetkissed   (  dark urge  ) 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆:  @censuss  ,  @bloodtwin  ,  @accultant  ,  @kenostaph

                                           • pinned art by dochollibee •

                                ->  blog  resources  made  by  feywild-west  <-

[accultant]

vengeance on @helmworn. what was that about a clothing swap again (iago is gonna kill him for stretching out their shirt)

[helmworn]

I look like a crazy person when I scroll down my blog and all there is for the last few weeks are benny iago threads. can someone get their dogs please??

[accultant]

He looked so proud of himself that Iago had to tear their glare away before they felt too inclined to peel that smug expression from his skull.

"Perhaps I'd be more relaxed were I not subjected to such smarmy company." A lie, of course, since Iago Darlington hardly knows the meaning of the word Relax. Stiff-backed and covering embarrassment with irritation, Iago glowered at the wall as he went on, their cold, dead cheeks feeling unpleasantly warmer by the second.

"I am not answering that." They scoffed to keep from sputtering at his next question, "I am not answering that, either!"

If they did have a moment of weakness, some kind of coquettish curiosity, they ensured it was thoroughly smothered to nonexistence now. They'd rather kiss a worg than give him the satisfaction.

A mage hand rummaged around to find something to throw at his head, then, finding nothing more tempting than a dagger, settled on repeatedly jabbing at his cheek to push him back instead.

"Why don't you run along and find someone else to bat your lashes at?"

[helmworn]

       His  quest  temporarily  shifted       from  tickling  more  heat  from  their  cheeks  to  dodging  a  way  too  insistently  poking  mage  hand.  The  helmite  swatted  at  the  translucent  bundle  of  weave,  the  effort  left  much  to  be  desired.  It  kept  aiming  for  the  eyes.       ❝  Why    ?    Because  nobody  is  blushing  that  readily  for  little  ol'  Bernard,  buttercup.  ❞        Not  too  honest.  If  the  tiefling  put  just  a  little  effort  in,  he  might  just  be  lucky  enough  to  share  a  more  fruitful  outcome  than  Iago  presented  him  just  now.

   That's  what  he  tells  himself  anyway.

       ❝  It's  no  big  deal,  really.  You  can  be  honest  about  it.  I  won't  tell  anyone  if  you  change  your  mind  .  .  .  ❞       His  palm  pushed  the  hand  aside  to  free  the  line  of  sight  towards  the  prickly  bhaalspawn.  If  he  was  half  a  brute  so  many  think  he  is,  no  shot  would  he  have  been  all  over  the  smallish  package  of  wild  magic  sitting  close  to  him.  Or  he  only  needed  a  little  more  liquid  courage.  Boundaries,  he  had  to  chant  back  into  his  head.

       ❝  If  it's  the  fact  that  I  am  insanely  handsome   &   charismatic  that  scares  you,  I  can  tone  it  down  a  bit.  You  like  the  shy  guys    ?  ❞       One  brick  red  brow  arched,  a  scoot  closer.      ❝  You  look  mighty  fine  with  a  little  more  color  in  your  face,  by  the  way  .  .  .  ❞

[helmworn]

▌@accultant  continued

       Bernard  had  the  decency        to  stifle  another  chuckle,  lips  pursing  before  he  stopped  the  grin  from  growing  bigger  as  they  called  out  the  fact  he  wasn't  too  picky  choosing  his  partners.  He  succeeded  in  ruffling  the  bhaalspawn's  feathers.  He  had  his  fun.

       ❝  Relax  a  little.  ❞      Drawled  the  tiefling  while  lazily  grabbing  the  bottle  from  pale  hands  in  order  to  take  a  measured  swig.  His  tail  curled  behind  the  man  in  something  that  was  undeniably  amused  by  his  plan  having  worked  out.  If  he  could  have  only  framed  that  split  second  of  their  gaze,  that  flick  downwards.  Ugh,  just  amazing.     ❝  You  would've  pulled  through,  wouldn't  you     ?  ❞

Yes,  of  course  it  wasn't  that  deep  of  a  thought.  It  was  harmless  fun.  They  both  were  way  past  the  point  of  making  reasonable  decisions.  No  shame,  none  at  all.  Never  in  Bernard's  books  anyway.

He  swayed  the  bottle,  wrist  tilting  in  no  hurry,       ❝  Since  you  flinched  away,  does  that  mean  I  have  to  ‘pounce’  now    ?  ❞

[helmworn]

@accultant not participating in art fight won't stop me from attacking them.

[helmworn]

On a completely unrelated note: I need to draw more thirst traps of this man

[helmworn]

Someone talk him out of killing a guy's family because he can not manage his anger.

[helmworn]

im so happy happy joy joy when them.

[helmworn]

▌  @accultant  sent  : Sheepish  and  irritable,  Iago  shuffles  over  to  Benny  with  a  hairbrush  in  their  hand  and  uncooperative  hair  falling  over  their  shoulders.  "Do  you  know  how  to  braid  hair?" 

       Now  why       would  they  head  over  to  him  for  braiding  hair     ?    Maybe  he  was  beginning  to  score  with  the  smallish  Bhaalspawn  in  the  end.  And  oh  wonder,  Bernard  actually  knows  a  thing  or  two  about  braiding.

       ❝  Yeah,  I  do.  Why    ?  ❞       As  if  them  holding  their  brush  wasn't  indicator  enough.  The  tiefling's  gaze  lifted  from  their  hands,  up  to  the  waterfall  of  ivory  hair,  finishing  off  with  a  small  glance  towards  their  unsure  stance.

    The  last  time  must  have  been  years  ago.  When  Jana  was  still  alive.

A  quiet smile,  while  he  so  freely  grabbed  the  brush  from  their  hands.  Sobering  up  from  the  brief  departure  of  thoughts.       ❝  Make  yourself  comfortable,  sweetie.  I  wouldn't  have  been  a  big  brother  if  I  didn't  know  how  to  manage  some  locks.  ❞

[accultant]

Iago counted previous sleepless nights silently, mouthing one, two, three before shrugging. What's one more?

The mattress jumped when he landed on it, making Iago nearly tumble off the side. They shot him a half-hearted glare before they started to untangle their braid.

"Not as bad as it once was," Iago answered plainly on dreams. Night terrors are as familiar to the bhaalspawn as breathing. Bhaal's nightly visits to remind them of just how things ought to be. They'd grown mostly used to those by now, it was when they were startled awake that their magic acted up the worst, lashing out at any perceived threat with the instincts of a cornered animal. "My mother used to wake up before dawn to fetch me from wherever I teleported myself to the night before."

His offer made them stiffen and snap their head towards him like he had just threatened them, "Absolutely not." Bhaal doesn't like when other deities intervene, something Iago learned the hard way and is reminded of every time they pass by a temple and find themselves with a spontaneous nosebleed. They decided to explain it simply, without such dramatics, gesturing vaguely: "Spirituality is to me what cats are to you."

[helmworn]

       Ochre  tail  lashed  the  other  side       when  an  amused   ‘  heh  ’   made  it  past  quirked  lips.       ❝  No  praying  for  you,  then.  ❞       Bernard  began  to  recognize  a  certain  rudeness  to  the  way  he  almost  startled  them  off  the  bed,  sitting  back   &   therefore,  creating  a  teeny  tiny  bit  more  space   ;   should  Iago  feel  the  need  to  seek  that  closeness     (  they  would  have  to  face  anyway  )     this  night  sooner.

And  wouldn't  it  be  Bernard  if  he  got  rid  of  the  fabric  hugging  his  toned  torso    ?    A  wonderfully  whore-ish  display  of  anything  but  chastity     –     One  hand  reaching  over  the  paladin's  shoulder,  pulling  the  shirt  from  the  middle  of  his  back  up   &   over  his  head.  He  conversed  while  the  attire  dropped  on  his  lap   ;   fingers  struggled  to  find  the  tie  holding  his  hair  together.

       ❝  Being  a  mother  is  never  an  easy  job,  but  having  you  as  her  child     ?     She  deserved  a  raise.  Can't  imagine  how  much  I  would  panic  if  my  kiddy  teleported  anywhere  but  the  shithouse.  ❞       Subtly  wavy  locks  were  freed  from  their  confines,  beginning  to  tumble   &   frame  the  tiefling's  face.  He  truly  began  to  wonder  if  it  would  be  a  wise  idea  to  undress  more.  Any  fabric  clinging  onto  him  in  his  sleep  were  a  nuisance.  Would  the  sorcerer  curse  his  name  if  he  got  rid  of  them    ?

      ❝  Hey  .  .  .  You're  fine  with  only  undergarments  or  .  .  .  ?  ❞

[accultant]

Iago lowered their hand and laced their uncooperative fingers together under his wary look. Safely tucked away (wishful thinking, that).

"I fear I'm afflicted with an overactive imagination." A dreamless sleep sounded divine, but largely impossible. Their eyes slid back to the bed, "And I don't have much say in wild magic shit."

Helpfully, they added, "I might only turn you into a sheep."

They'd been looking forward to an inn, a real bed at last and a blessed, beautiful door to lock themselves safely behind. Now, they were discovering how much of that hinged on being alone. Short of being knocked out cold, they couldn't recall the last time they slept with someone else looming over them.

"But you'll be relieved to hear that I am not tired," a lie, naturally, betrayed by the permanent circles under their eyes. They are always tired. It is exhausting, to be always tired.

They were the first to break away and make for the coveted mattress, though, shrugging off their cloak and sitting on the edge of the bed to unlace their boots.

[helmworn]

       ❝  I  can  live  with  the  sheep  option.  ❞       The  nervous  appendage  that  was  his  tail  quivered  behind  Bernard  after  Iago  wasn't  offering  the  reassurance  he  hoped  for.  Tulip  red  depths  followed  their  movement,  albeit  distracted  by  his  own  thoughts   &   likeliest  going  through  the  party's  whole  inventory  in  search  of  a  potential  sussur  bloom.      ❝  You  want  to  tell  me  you're  not  going  to  sleep  tonight    ?  ❞      They  had  to  be  bluffing  again.  Did  that  occasionally.  He  was  next  to  inspect  the  bed.

       ❝  Does  it  happen  often    ?     Casting  in  your  sleep     –    from  dreams   &   all  that.  ❞       The  tiefling  tried  to  lace  words  with  a  decent  amount  of  tease   ;   couldn't  hold  up  the  lilt.  Was  he  merely  curious  or  did  some  protective  streak  take  over  his  body    ?     Were  they  nightmares  they  battled    ?    

An  exhausted  creak  from  the  bed  frame   ;   the  paladin  was  so  free  as  to  test  the  mattress  before  the  bhaalspawn  could  finish  folding  their  cloak.  Claiming  his  territory,  not  much  room  for  now,  arms  folded  behind  his  head.  The  full  experience.

       ❝  I  can  mention  these  dreams  in  my  prayers  later.  Perhaps  Helm  will  grant  you  a  good  night's  rest  if  one  of  his  loyal  followers  asks  for  that.  You  .  .  .  would  have  to  be  very  nice  to  me  in  return,  though.  Which  is  precisely  where  I  think  this  deal  could  deadlock.  ❞

[helmworn]

▌  continued  @accultant

       He  could  have  been  happier         with  the  arrangements,  but  by  far  not  too  sad  when  he  eventually  lost  the  outlandishly  childish  play  that  would  lead  to  the  decision  of  sharing  a  sleeping  spot  with  this  wildcard.  Any  reason  was  lost  on  the  others  when  the  tiefling  underlined  how  outright  dumb  it  would  be  to  share  a  bed  with  his  size.  They  cared  little.

       ❝  Guess  we  have  to  figure  out  how  to  get  you  to  have  a  dreamless  sleep.  ❞       A  cold  shiver  quenched.  Being  set  aflame  in  his  sleep  must  be  one  of  Bernard's  worst  nightmares,  his  fire-resistant  birthright  did  little  to  reassure  him.

A  look  pointed  towards  the  meager  space  drained  a  sigh  out  of  his  lungs,  one  hand  ruffling  up  hair  in  frustration.  Eyes  met,  his  own  revealing  something  far  from  the  confidence  the  helmite  so  often  wore  like  a  badge  of  honor.  He  looked  smaller,  a  curious  sight,  for  when  was  he  not  standing  like  a  living  bulkward     ?   

       ❝  Can  you,  like,  not  get  all  flamey  around  me    ?     I'm  fine  with  water  or  ice.  Thorns.  Whatever  else.  Or  is  this  some  .  .  .  ❞      Vaguely  winding  his  hand  through  the  air  between  them,      ❝  .  .  .  wild  magic  shit  again     ?  ❞

[helmworn]

Mr. Ul(ove)in

[accultant]

Alright, fine, they would not destroy the city right away, probably, even though their fingers itched with uninvited sparks and a surge of wild magic simmering just under the surface. It would be so easy. He looked at them like a little bug, easy to squash, and the little Bhaalspawn looked at him and debated in what order they'd break his bones. Just a little exercise in imagination. Change of heart and all that.

They did continue to stare at him with that creepy look, though, unblinking and hoping their gaze could at least inflict him with a migraine on top of the sneezing fit.

"No." Simple and petty as that.

"Not until you give me one of your shirts so I may make a bed for the cat outside if it returns. It is cold tonight and I- as I am now realizing- am not as heartless as you."

[helmworn]

       ❝  Demanding  little  .  .  .  ❞       Curses  cut  by  a  defeated  huff   &   for  a  moment,  he  bristled  at  the  mere  image  of  a  cat  laying  rolled  up,  happy  as  could  be,  in  one  makeshift  bed  made  out  of  his  clothes.  How  claws  would  press  gently  into  his  shirt,  no  shot  puncturing  it  with  little,  tiny  holes   &   making  an  unwearable  mess  out  of  it.

   He  wasn't  heartless.  His  heart  must  be  even  bigger  than  most     (  at  least  on  a  pragmatic  scale  )     !

Bernard  grumbled  a  muttered  row  of  infernal  nonsense  under  his  breath   ;   and  eventually  stripped  free  from  his  shirt  with  one  folded  stretch  over  his  head.     (  A  practiced  skill.  No  questions  will  be  answered.  )

A  bare-chested  tiefling  swapped  with  the  sneezing   &   sniffling  paladin  who  was  standing  there,  fighting  with  Iago  seconds  before.  Bunched  shirt  pushed  against  their  chest     –    Nine  Hells,  they  can  keep  it.

       ❝  You  need  my  pants  too    ?     Socks    ?  ?  ?     Might  want  to  start  sketching  a  whole  tavern  for  the  thing  while  you're  at  it.  ❞       He  was  going  to  clean  himself  anyway,  there  was  probably  fur  somewhere  on  his  body  which  demanded  to  be  washed  off,  lest  he  ends  up  with  them  on  his  tongue  later. 

[accultant]

The two of them looked like fools, Iago now also starting to retreat into their clothing, using one free hand to tug their hood over themselves and the cat as if it could be hidden and forgotten again.

"Well, now you're asking for too much..." Iago mumbled when a request is made for them to use their cold, dead heart for something (someone) actually worthwhile.

Something like a frightened squeak of a mouse came out of the sorcerer when he started to reach for them. Shrinking and scampering backwards, Iago scowled, "Absolutely not. You'd probably crush it to death with those mitts."

There's a ridiculous dance the two devolve into, then, Iago dodging his outstretched hands and scuttling around to avoid him, occasionally swatting at him like a cat themselves. Perhaps it was all the movement, or maybe just a stray's fickle interests, but a blur of black fur and claws leapt from the makeshift shelter, using its savior as a springboard to hop down and sprint between Bernard's legs, skipping out of sight and back into the heart city from whence it came.

Iago blinked at the cat-shaped absence in their arms once, twice, thrice, then requested calmly, "Give me the Netherstones."

[helmworn]

       Much  like  a  medieval  maiden        who  saw  a  mouse   ;   Bernard  jumped    &     lifted  one  foot  as  the  kitty  scuttles  past.  A  stern  look  followed  its  departure,  then  back  to  the  cat-less  Iago.  Mixed  feelings.  He  was  truly  glad  this  feline  wasn't  a  staying  visitor  for  the  night.  Then  there  was  the  person  who  threatened  to  let  hell  lose  on  the  city  if  said  feline  wasn't  staying.  And  the  cat  decided  for  humanity's  demise.

       ❝  See,  a  free  animal.  It  didn't  even  want  to  have  a  sleepover.  ❞       His  shirt  flicked  back  down  when  the  tiefling  began  to  straighten  up.  A  relieved  breath,  alas,  his  nose  wasn't  anywhere  near  freed  from  the  allergic  reaction.  The  sorcerer  had  to  be  as  difficult  as  they  were.  Even  their    (  arguably  )    most  slow-witted  companion  understood  that  they  can't  keep  cats  around  because  dear  Benny  will  sneeze   &   feel  unbelievably  unwell.  So  why  not  Iago  .  .  .

       ❝  No.  You  won't  get  the  Netherstones.  ❞       Matter  of  fact.  It's  not  like  they  could  .  .  .  reach  them,  right    ?     He  could  push  Iago  into  the  dirt  while  half  asleep.  If  they  decided  to  throw  hands,  so  be  it.        ❝  No  stones  for  you  until  you  swipe  that  creepy  look  outta  your  face.  ❞      He  was  still  so  itchy    !       ❝  Please  go   &   take  a  bath,  change  your  clothes.  Feeling  like  my  skin  is  about  to  shed.  ❞

[accultant]

The tiny thing seemed to think this conversation was just delightful, and had begun to purr. It bumped its head into Iago's chin while they pouted.

"I had to prance around in the woods for ages and I hardly threw such a fit about it." Which is not true at all, considering the constant murmur of grumbled complaints about pollen and trees and uncleanliness and uneven ground that followed them all the way to the city.

"Yes, there are hundreds, which is why you should be grateful I have only the one." The kitten continued to rub its face against theirs, subtracting significantly from the stern tone and sharp demeanor they'd adopted. "Why does our holy paladin get to play protector but I'm not allowed? I had hoped my dear companions would be more supportive of my newfound compassion. I've had a change of heart and you want me to toss it out in the street..."

[helmworn]

       ❝  WHY     ?    Because  last  time  I  checked,  you  will  wither  like  a  common  houseplant  if  one  breathes  in  your  general  direction     !  ❞      Without  a  stutter,  at  most  a  sniffle.  He  was  looking  ridiculous  now   :   shirt  pulled  up,  bridge  of  nose  holding  the  fabric  in  place   (  a  makeshift  mask  )     while  the  man  began  to  gesture  in  agitation.  Protecting  others  also  included  himself.  And  this  cat  was  a  monumental  factor  in  threatening  this  quest.

    ❝  We  all  applaud  you  for  having  a  heart,  Iago.  Amazing  achievement.  When  will  you  have  a  heart  for  me    ?  !  ❞

Now,  the  tiefling  took  one  dangerous     (  mostly  for  himself  )     step  closer  to  the  pair.  They  shared  the  uncanny  size  of  eyes,  and  a  thought  of  how  long  it  would  take  for  Iago  to  cause  the  same  allergic  reactions  to  him  as  the  kitten  does  crossed  his  mind.  Head  held  as  far  away  as  possible  while  two  bulky  arms  stretched  out  towards  the  bhaalspawn.

       ❝  I  do  it.  Quick.  I  can  only  hold  my  breath  for  so  long.  ❞