Athena’s part of “I can’t help but wonder” is so— JEHRKEBDEBEKEBRB
I thought that somebody would’ve mentioned it by now, but literally NO ONE has so must rant and ramble about it before I explode. And yeah, I’m totally gonna read too deeply into this but what else am I supposed to do on tumblr?
Athena’s part starting with Odysseus saying the “Show yourself” thing is SO AMAZING. It’s such a fun callback and you can HEAR the difference in the way he says it! In “Warriors of the Mind,” he says the words with a certain lightness that’s completely GONE. Odysseus’s present “show yourself” sounds so heavy. The words themselves are no longer challenging and playful (the rest of his lyrics, a smug and gleeful, “I can see you” are nowhere to be found); now they’re drenched with dread, blood, words that can’t be taken back, and probably a good deal of guilt too. The words hold MEANING now, because they were the beginning point for what could’ve been— and what was— a friendship. But, while it’s where everything began, it also leads to where everything ended, and it’s just so heart wrenching to see how that weighs down his once easy-going words into a more melancholy tone.
And then Athena’s there with her back turned to Odysseus becuase she can’t even bare to look at what her once joyful friend has turned into. She can’t handle looking at what she caused and what she ruined. And she doesn’t apologize— of course she doesn’t, and she likely won’t for a long while— but she admits that she’s wrong. She says, “What if there’s a world where we don’t have to live this way?” She openly admits that Odysseus’s view back at that argument about the cyclops was correct, or at least more right than hers. She admits that bloodshed shouldn’t be the only way. She admits that she had “led him astray.”
But the thing is that she’s too late. How can she convince a man already covered in so much blood that he was right all along when he’d been proved wrong over and over again? When her teachings had always been all the world had shown him was correct? Even so, Odysseus doesn’t tell her she’s wrong. He tells her that “If that world exists, it’s far away from here. It’s one I’ll have to miss, for it’s far beyond my years.” So no, he doesn’t reject what she’s saying, but he does tell her that it’s far too late for him to turn his back on the world of bloodshed and endless sacrifice that he was now a part of. ((Something interesting is that, just like Athena, he doesn’t apologize, but admits that Athena (back during the “My Goodbye” argument) was right. Ig that’s just a quality they share lol)) It was far too late for her to teach him something new, because they had long passed the point where they were mentor and student. And maybe he even feels bitter and angry that she’s only telling him this now, when it could no longer be of any use of him instead of then, when he had no choice but to “become the monster.” That she had abandoned him when he’d been right from the very beginning. Or maybe he’s even furious that she’d dare to tell him that when he had tried everything to get home, and the only way to do that was through ruthlessness. After all, how could she say something like that when she wasn’t there? How could she claim there was another way when he knew from experience that there certainly was not?
He cuts the conversation off then, because he still has to reunite with Penelope. And Athena lets him go, because she knows that her time with Odysseus was bound to be short. This last conversation was closure; nothing more. Maybe this was truly “My Goodbye.” Then she turns to look at him one last time, revealing what she had gone through to help him get home. Despite him turning into a “monster” she still looks at him fondly and smiles, because she’s recognized that he hadn’t just been a student to her; he had been a dear friend. Before Odysseus can say anything, she’s gone, and he’s left standing in the room on his own.
[Quick Side Note though: the fact that Odysseus used the words “show yourself,” which was the exact words he used when they first met rather than any reference to “My Goodbye” could also be sign that he’s willing to start over, right where it all began. It won’t be the same as what they once had (hence the absence of “I can see you”), but it’s still something. Another thing to note is that neither of them actually say the words “goodbye” or anything along those lines. Maybe this isn’t their true “My Goodbye” after all :) ]
Anyway, this is all speculation and the result of this part of the song marinating in my brain for a while. Pls tell me your thoughts! As of now, I have no friends that are into “EPIC: the Musical,” so I’d love to rant with somebody!!!
For those who read to the end of this for some reason, here’s a singular eyeball: 👁️
(Guess who’s eyeball it is MUHAHAHAHABHASBBSHSJD)
