i see what others don't. i feel what's coming before it ever arrives. – independent , mutually exclusive && private interpretation of an original character named judas. j is a mothman shifter with original mothman lore. he is easy to meld into other fandoms && will have multiple fandom verses. eventually. i yap a lot on the dash so please be mindful of that. – and still, all i can do is stand in the aftermath. wings folded, hoping this time – that maybe someone noticed.
HEMOTH , independent / selective / private / slow reply. this is an original character blog lovingly haunted by elliott. established may 2025, revamped april 2026.
or wait… are promos no longer cool? i don’t even know the vibes yall. should i save this graphic for my pinned? waggles eyebrows … how does one dumblr ?
weighing the idea of moving jay and seeing if a fresh start would jumpstart some of my want to be here again ? i want to write sooosooosooo badly but this place just feels so messy that i'm honestly not sure that it is even a safe space to write anymore lmao
It's time for 'ya biweekly update on elliott's shitty start to 2026 !
The typical trigger warnings do apply: financial stress, school stress, life stress, insurance stress.
Our car has been dead & gone since the middle of February. Because of this, I've been borrowing my grandma's car in order to get back and forth from school every day. Well, wouldn't 'ya know it !! That car has now also bitten the dust. (jk, it just needs a water pump (we think)) Our car is at the mechanic, and they want mmm..... $1700+ in order to bring our jeep back into our possession.
So, as one does when no one has the ability to pay this huge car repair and our other bills too (which are already way behind, but that is a separate rant) I have reached out to approximately everyone I could think of on campus to see if anyone had access to any type of funding that could contribute to our crisis. I have now applied for an emergency microgrant, reached out to the Opportunities for Ohioans with Disabilities coordinator that helps me out occasionally, and literally every other funding office I could think of. I'm waiting to hear back on the grand, and the OOD coordinator is waiting on some documents from me that I was unable to get to her today. (The registration to our car. Which is in the car. Which is across town. sigh.) We're gonna have to catch an on-demand ride to the BMV and purchase a copy.
In the meantime, I am completely unable to get to campus unless I schedule a ride (at least 24-48 hours in advance.... :( ) with HAPCAP's on demand transit. BUT, I am absolutely not complaining about that in any way shape or form. They picked me up and took me home today for a class that I cannot miss. Free ! I just hate that I'm in this situation at all. Not to mention, not having a car is severely cutting into our ability to doordash to pay our other bills and get groceries.
Also, the job and family services people just randomly decided that we didn't turn in something and have now revoked my medical card. I spoke with someone and they felt that because I am 26, and primarily live off of my own financial aid and stuff anyway, that I should just apply for my medical card on my own rather than through my mom's case since me & my brother were the only ones that had continued benefits through that case, anyway, and they just discontinued that for both of us. My brother is still technically covered by my dad's insurance, but I am not. Sad day. Do y'all know how fucking expensive device checks are? Not to mention the visits with my EP? There is literally no way that I will be able to afford the maintenance on my PM without this medical card.
So, when it rains... it pours, I guess? Pardon me if I'm even more quiet than normal as I try to pull my shit together and get some funds to fix my car + acquire some fucking medical insurance again before mine dies in a few days. I'm fucking tired, y'all. Absolutely plum fucking exhausted.
it is a sad day in elliott land. i have been attempting to join a discord rp for a hot minute (almost a month!) but i've been super slow at getting my writing sample & character in bc anxiety and busy. they approved my writing sample a few weeks ago and i submitted my character last night and woke up this morning and i was banned. apparently they thought my shit was AI generated but they didn't even give me a chance to prove otherwise. im rlly sad lmao i put a lot of work into everything and the server looked super cool.
doordashed for 31 hours & 16 minutes this week. made just over $600. (crazy!!!) still have some major bills to pay. (our lot rent is so... so unbelievably late. my dad's truck payment? unbelievably late. our car? in the shop. broken. tags? dead on both cars.) but life is still moving along. got about another $103 left on our lot rent, and then we'll move down the list of hellscape.
on the upside tho, so that it isn't all negative: 1. i went to the urgent care today bc the insertion site for my pacemaker (in my groin) is bleeding a little still & i was worried about it. all is well, but they did give me an antibiotic just to prevent infection since apparently it is taking a bit longer to heal than they'd expected. 2. all of my dogs are good. flea/tick/heartworm/wormer all up to date. jax has his arthritis meds.
just real tired, but unbelievably grateful for the fact that i feel like a person again. this pacemaker really has saved my life. just hopin that some other things fall into place soon. fr fr.
1. i am alive, surgery went great. i am home, trying to get caught up in school & starting to doordash again. gotta get that bread, as one might say.
2. i am nearly silent here and i feel lowkey bad ab it — so, because i am me and i am not silent everywhere, i wanted to offer my beloved mutuals another means of connecting w me! if ya pop up in my DMs, here or discord, i will send u my name for facebook bc !! i am pretty active there (i can here the groans…. yes, i know, it’s boomerland but… the memes….) esp w heath updates / my own humor.
3. jay has not been abandoned. he rattles the cage in my brain daily, just sooo much going on right now. i really wanna circle back, it just might be a lil bit. patience is requested, friends.
1. i am alive, surgery went great. i am home, trying to get caught up in school & starting to doordash again. gotta get that bread, as one might say.
2. i am nearly silent here and i feel lowkey bad ab it — so, because i am me and i am not silent everywhere, i wanted to offer my beloved mutuals another means of connecting w me! if ya pop up in my DMs, here or discord, i will send u my name for facebook bc !! i am pretty active there (i can here the groans…. yes, i know, it’s boomerland but… the memes….) esp w heath updates / my own humor.
3. jay has not been abandoned. he rattles the cage in my brain daily, just sooo much going on right now. i really wanna circle back, it just might be a lil bit. patience is requested, friends.
it’s been a long, sleep-filled day friends. but, ya boy is officially 0.0011% robot. 🤪 gonna drop a late munday pic or two under the cut from post-surgery. not gruesome or anything obvi. i actually look kinda cute, if only a lot exhausted. not feeling too hot, truthfully but im gettin ready to take a dose of pain meds n hopefully sleep for a lil while. anyway, thanks for the good vibes guys !!! appreciated !!
peep my pal — that’s fuzzy (2.0). he is the ultimate comfort machine + he holds luna’s collar.
