Hi.

basic at best.

[hendzzzz]

My coworker who owed me money said that she came to my office the day before, stood by my desk, opened my bag and put my money in my wallet all without me noticing her existence in the room. That shit is scary.

[hendzzzz]

I gotta talk about my fear of being filmed

I'm in constant threat of being filmed by any of my coworkers because they like to film stuff all the time for instagram.. And i really can't seem to wrap my head around it, or get better at it..

I truly don't know the source of this level of self-consciousness.. I take selfies normally, but the moment someone holds a camera to my face, i'm stunned..

[hendzzzz]

فى ولد مريب من الجامعة اسئلته كتيرة كان بيكلمني فى اوقات غريبة لدرجة انى بدأت اشك ان موبايله بيخرف.. فعملت بلوك يعنى مش ناقصة صداع، رغم انه لو بعت واتساب مسدچ يسأل على حاجة هرد عادى.. امبارح بقى اتصل تانى لأول مرة من سنة وفى ميعاد صلاة الجمعة باين. مريب مريب يعنى.

[hendzzzz]

I feel small, not like petite, but ant small; squashable.

I wrote this in the title to compensate

[hendzzzz]

عمرى ماهبقى كفاية وعمر ما اى حاجة هاتبقى كفاية بالنسبالى طول منا بصطاد فى الاخطاء والثغرات والهفوات وسايبة الدنيا بحالها

[hendzzzz]

Random waves of low self-esteem hit me with thoughts like 'you're the worst daughter/sister/friend/companion/designer in the whole world'.

Thought i should share.

[hendzzzz]

2 new messages from 2 different friends, one with very good news and one with bad news. I don't know what to feel anymore.

[hendzzzz]

I'm tired of doing things on my own for my own and would like to do things with others for others.

[hendzzzz]

Story Time: Adulthood

My boss bargained when i asked for a raise at the same time the only 2 designers aside from me where planning on quitting. After they quit I had a better offer from another agency so I raised my price even more and he had to agree.

[hendzzzz]

Much like my mother who dedicated her life to her husband and children, my sister dedicated her life to her parents and siblings, and I dedicated my life to school.. my experience is the most positive but it is still flawed.

Something is profoundly wrong with living for others like that, where is our pleasures, our needs, why do they always have to give and not take, I don't understand it and I won't be participating in that kind of lifestyle anytime soon. Sure, it is cynical, but that's the purpose of life, try different things, make mistakes, fix your mistakes and settle from time to time, why do women have to go through 'Giving' before even living.. Atleast give me a chance to give back..

[hendzzzz]

Unlikely Animal Friends

In uni, I made a bus friend who had a visibly different character from mine, she was pretty, I was ugly, she was stylish and I was studious and the list goes on.. We'd walk to and from the bus station a lot, help in assignments, revise aloud before exams, etc.. And she was undoubtedly the closest person to me the last couple of years. We were very different but we'd get along pretty well.

Last December she said she was going on vacation with her sister and asked me if I wanted to come, and this took me by surprise because I couldn't understand w h y.. but I had already started working and I couldn't go anyway..

This type of friendship was quite eye opening to me because up until this point i had very similar friends .. And that, in time, proved to be unsustainable.. In conclusion, my views on friendship need to change.

[hendzzzz]

بسبب انتشار المعلومات والنصايح قصيرة المدى/الضعيفة فى الزمن ده، مطلوب من الواحد يتفادى النصايح دى ويدور بنفسه من الأول رغم زحمة المغالطات. يعنى الانترنت قرب مسافات كتير وعرف الواحد حاجات بس برضه كلها سطحية وملهاش أى علاقة بأرض الواقع.

[hendzzzz]

باينى نسيت ادى للناس اسباب تخليها تفتركنى.. هى كانت تلزمك فى حاجة السيرة الطيبة يا معلم

[hendzzzz]

اهتم بنفسي ليه ونفسي مش ملكي اصلاً

[egif]

 المتزوجون - 1981

[hendzzzz]

This is rude.

[hendzzzz]

I keep dreaming that I'm hanging out with someone who killed somebody and is in a quest to hide the body..

Mental health: unstable. Noted.