the sings as things i've said
Aries: i came here to receive compliments because im the prettiest one here
Taurus: I SWEAR I WAS BORN TO LAY IN BED, EAT NOODLES, DRINK ORANGE JUICE AND WATCH TV SHOWS FOR ETERNITY. THAT'S WHY I EXIST BITCHES
Gemini: i will whore myself for an iphone
Cancer: this sensitivity will pay off one day
Leo: *texting a friend on instagram* me: okay im outta here. if you wanna continue talking, text me on facebook. friend: only if you text me first. me: um why do you think that you're THAT important?
Virgo: im not getting a girlfriend until i finish all my studies, is that clear??????
Libra: can't we all just have some fun for once?
Scorpio: of course i think about sex all the time, who doesn't?
Sagittarius: *a guy criticizes my outfit* um sorry bitch but this coat and these dr. martens are more expensive than your entire existence
Capricorn: one day i will marry a 99 year old millionaire because i deserve a decent life
Aquarius: im a slut for chocolate and hugs in bed
Pisces: WHAT THE FUCK UNIVERSE? WHERE IS MY FAME?? I'M TOO BEAUTIFUL AND SMART TO NOT BE WORLDLY FAMOUS WTF