いや…あぁぁっ！クソ変態野郎‼

"Perverted bastard!" ⊹ It's kind of hot... and terrifying. Did I just describe my porn collection? ⊹ Hard yaoi (some yuri/hetero), noncon, D/S, occasional guro, etc. Obviously, 18+.

[scampadversary]

Hi followers, you may have noticed my extremely long hiatus. That’s gonna continue indefinitely. If I come back I’m going to have to do a serious cleanup of my dash, which is a hefty task.

Anyway: right now I’m writing my senior thesis (on dojinshi lol) in preparation to graduate college. I’m also having lots of nervous breakdowns over politics. Still depressed, anxiety seemed under control until the last few days but now I’m not so sure. Good stuff! Haha!

[fandomisnotyoursafespace]

Fandom is not your safe space.

Nor should fandom be your safe space. Fandom is for people to explore all sorts of possibilities in fiction and art. Not all of those possibilities are going to be fluffy, “wholesome,” “healthy,” “uplifting,” or whatever other adjective the Morality Brigade here on Tumblr wants to trot out.

Fiction is not reality. Depiction is not endorsement. No, it may never be “just a movie/fic/artwork,” but that does not make it reality. Fiction serves particular purposes, and one of them is to permit us to vicariously experience certain dangerous or otherwise unpleasant things safely.

If you believe that the purpose of fiction is to “uplift” us and fiction that does not is wrong and bad, congratulations: You’re a right-winger. (Or maybe you’re on the extreme left. When you get that far out to the ends of the spectrum, it doesn’t matter.)

If you think that anyone who writes or reads noncon is a rapist or rape apologist, you are too stupid for words. If you think that anyone who ships an incest ship or an adult/teen ship is an apologist for incest or pedophilia, you are too stupid for words.

It is none of your business what other people write, draw, and ship. Let me repeat that: It is none of your business what other people write, draw, and ship. You do not get to tell them they’re “trash,” you do not get to concern-troll them with passive-aggressive nonsense like “love yourself more uwu,” and you absolutely do not get to harass them off Tumblr or elsewhere.

Also, their past trauma or lack thereof is none of your business, either. Nobody has to present their “cred” as a rape or incest survivor before they’re allowed to enjoy fanworks that don’t meet with your approval. Total strangers don’t owe you their backstories. For that matter, not even your friends owe you every detail of their backstories. Mind your own business.

Don’t want to see all this “problematic” content on your dash or elsewhere? Unfollow people. Learn how to use Tumblr Savior, XKit, AO3 Savior, and similar tools. Control your own online experience. It is not the responsibility of others on this site to take care of you, who are a total stranger to them. Given how heavily female Tumblr skews, such demands are nothing but reinforcement of the expectation that women are supposed to take care of everyone else but themselves. (Yes, women are still oppressed as a class, even before you factor in intersectionalities.)

It’s amusing how some of you have the “courage” to dogpile, harass, and stalk others on this website whose taste doesn’t meet your oh-so-pure standards. People who create fanworks are soft, easy targets to kinkshame, aren’t they? Especially when, again, most of them are not cis straight men. Women have been policed and shamed throughout history for exploring their own sexuality — including by other feminists. The 1980s were full of feminists policing other feminists:

Often conflated with radical feminism, antiporn feminism grew out of radical feminism in the late ‘70s and early ‘80s—as did its counterpart, pro-sex feminism. The feminist porn wars of the '80s are largely forgotten to the general public by now, but at the time they were heated, divisive, and intensely personal. In 1982, Bar­nard College’s Center for Research on Women held a conference called “Towards a Politics of Sexuality,” which was picketed by antiporn feminists for including explorations of s&m and overall pro-sex viewpoints along with discussions of race and sexuality as well as sexual history (many of which were published in the 1983 anthology Powers of Desire: The Politics of Sexuality).

Yes, sex-positive feminism was eventually co-opted by patriarchal forces, but it started out because a great many feminists were heartily tired of radfems telling them they were “traitors” and “brainwashed” for liking anything but the blandest, most euphemistic, and most painfully egalitarian erotica. (If you like that sort of thing, more power to you. Your tastes don’t make you better than the rest of us.)

Getting back to the here and now, I don’t see you going over to 4chan or Reddit with these morality campaigns. More importantly, I don’t see you organizing to go after big media corporations, especially those whose TV shows, movies, and books help form the toxic backdrop of misogyny, racism, rape culture, homophobia, transphobia, and similar bigotries behind everyday modern life. The occasional blogpost calling out this animator or that author, no matter how many notes it gets, is not the same thing as an organized campaign.

No, harassing David Gaider off Tumblr doesn’t count, not when Bioware makes more of an effort with social justice in its games than any other game company does. You can scream all you want about how “allies suck.” You need them in the real world, beyond the hothouse environment of Tumblr. If people in general could be trusted to do the right thing for the right reasons all the time, without pressure, there would be no need for any kind of activism at all.

Nor does screaming “pedophile” at John Green and insinuating that any grown man who reaches out to teenage girls is “creepy.” Yes, his “cool dad” act is annoying, and his books leave a lot to be desired. Have you considered that such outreach is part of his job as a YA writer? Have you also considered that stigmatizing men for trying to be mentors to adolescents, when you have no evidence that they’re actually perverts, reinforces traditional gender roles?

Tl;dr: Fandom is not your safe space. Tumblr is not your safe space. AO3 sure as fuck isn’t your safe space. People will post things you don’t like in all three spaces, which they have every right to do. Get over it, grow the fuck up, take responsibility for your own mental health, and stop confusing your oversized sense of entitlement with “social justice.”

[hentaiyarou]

what's the manga on your header?

It’sRenai Rubi no Tadashii Furikata by Ogeretsu Tanaka!

[blgamesworld]

If you’re out of ideas as to which BL game to vote for in MangaGamer’s survey, I have a bunch of suggestions for you:

Shingakkou ~Noli me Tangere~ by PIL/SLASH (2011) official website - VNDB (English summary)

Pigeon Blood by PIL/SLASH XXX (2014) official website - VNDB

Omerta ~Chinmoku no Okite~ by Karin Chatnoir Ω (2011) official website - VNDB

DRAMAtical Murder by Nitro+CHiRAL (2011) official website - VNDB ((Not sure if MG is willing to license a game that has been patched and massively pirated tho))

Galtia by GRISEDGE (2015) official website - VNDB - galtia-translation-guild

Taisho Mebiusline by LOVEDELIVERY (2012) official website - VNDB (dunno what happened to the official website sorry)

Tokyo Onmyouji by TYRANT (2014) official website - VNDB

Si Nis Kanto by Ands (2013) official website - VNDB

CAGE -OPEN- by LOVE&DESTROY (2011) official website - VNDB

Kamisama (kari) by Easy-Peasy (2013) official website - VNDB

Gakuen Heaven 1 & 2 by Spray (2002 - 2014)  official website (1) (2) - VNDB (1) (2) - WelcomeToHeaven ((Sekai Project might be trying to get their hand on them tho))

Kichiku Megane by Spray (2007)  official website - VNDB

Of course there are plenty more BL games around, but I can’t list them all. If you have other suggestions, be my guest, I’ll add them to this post provided that they aren’t…

Games you probably shouldn’t vote for:

- Lucky Dog 1 is kind of ???, since their creator Tennenouji apparently wants to release it on iOS themselves using a fan-translation

- Games from dead/disbanded companies (ex: Daylight or Sukisho)

- Game from long-since-inactive companies that don’t seem like they’ll be making any more BL games. (ex: Messiah and Laugher Land). They may actually sell, but I think it’s a better idea to help still-active creators and encourage them making and releasing more games to the West.

Now go answer the survey!

[scampadversary]

Here’s one reason I don’t spend much time on tumblr at the moment. I’m going to be blunt, and quite honestly hateful towards at least some of my followers (who can go ahead and unfollow if they feel uncomfortable or w/e). 

The term problematic is a shitty measuring stick. It shouldn’t ever be used as though the term is self-evident and conclusive. 

What do you even mean by problematic? And are you talking for a group (or an entire culture) to which you don’t fucking belong? Do you really think that “problematic” is where it ends, no discussion? 

Listen, 1 + 1 doesn’t equal 2 here. When you’re talking about society, people, basically structures that rely on subjectivity, you sound naive and lost when you say something like, “Liking [___] promotes/excuses/normalizes [___].” How the fuck. Have you ever learned about audience reception? Cause textual analysis doesn’t fucking cut it.

You can pretend that you like or do not like things based on the morality/problematics you perceive in them, but every single person I’ve known who did this would twist themselves in knots to write off their own hypocrisy. 

Hey, I don’t care, I’m gonna say it: in fiction, I like noncon, dubcon, some level of guro/abuse, manipulation, abusive relationships, incest, and some other things that probably would earn me one of those ridiculous callout posts. Someone once told me they felt weird seeing me have opinions about fic plots because they knew I like noncon. Apparently liking noncon bans you from having opinions, ever, or at least expecting anyone to treat you as anything more than a Bad Person who has to be Silenced.

It’s not like I don’t know they’re problematic; I fucking like them because they are. That doesn’t mean I’m not critically engaging at all. I honestly think that I probably engage more critically than the majority of the high-horse, pure-as-crystal people who like to throw shit without reflecting. There’s so little [room for] thought with that mentality. 

Hey, let’s talk about how ending it at “this is problematic and bad, and so are you,” is intellectually pathetic. I’m personally interested in thinking about why something is problematic, why it appeals to people, and how they interact with it. And of course, enjoying it in spaces that don’t involve perpetrators of those things. Liking it doesn’t mean excusing it in real life.

Cause, y’know, 1 + 1 can’t equal 2 when the equation is being applied carelessly and to something it doesn’t fit.

Abusing entire groups of people for a ship, show, whatever they like that’s problematic, especially when they keep to themselves and are not denying the problematic aspects as what they are, is so much more vicious and unforgivable to me. When I try to figure out why they bother, it always comes down to the harasser wanting to fucking harass people and dressing that desire in terms that do not justify their actions in the least. 

The act of liking and enjoying the ~wrong~ fictional thing doesn’t justify that vitriol. But some people hate fun, I guess. They’d rather delude themselves. Go ahead, but leave others the hell out of it.

Edit: There was something I saw on tumblr once that stuck with me in a good way. It ended with the sentence, “You gotta be kind.” That’s what I think of when I want to approach lots of these issues. It’s not all-or-nothing, and that’s a positive thing.

[scampadversary]

Self-reblog, partly to add a few links where I expand on what I’ve said:

The consequences of this toxic fandom approach.

Ambiguity around incest and pedophilia (my own struggle to be consistent with my overall ideology, though I also have emotional kickback sometimes).

A clarification: I’m condemning the people who start all sorts of vicious attacks over problematics, but definitely not people for simply having a negative reaction/opinion. It’s about how you handle and act on your stance that makes the difference. There’s no perfect approach, nor is there a formula that can be applied to every case, but staying in your own lane reduces most of this friction. 

Fandom engagement: work and play in transgression, plus a bit more on consciousness (yes, this blog is me as well).

Um, to those sending hate…

[hentaiyarou]

It's confusing me that people tend to forget that fiction can be a way of dealing with things too. I was repeatedly physically abused during sexual interaction by my ex and afterwards I dealt with it by writing abusive ffs. And that helped me a lot!

I’m glad you were able to take your trauma and reshape it! I know it’s not an approach for everyone, but still. Just being exposed to a cultural context in which the topics are so highly relegated to the realm of taboo (while also being present everywhere in hegemonic culture) puts a lot of fandom people who deal with them in a similar position. The concept of cultural trauma is useful here in explaining how these types of supposed transgressions can become so widespread, especially among victims/potential victims (women in the US, for example, deal with a cultural trauma due to rape culture, regardless of what’s actually happened). 

As long as a critical consciousness is there (and it doesn’t have to be a disclaimer on everything ever, my god), participation can really help. At very least, talking about it and engaging takes power from the concept and puts it in your own hands. In its transgression, that work can and should become a sort of play, which is why I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect those engaging to constantly have to qualify their engagement. 

[scampadversary]

I understand your post on liking bad stuff in fiction but I wish you wouldn't say people against it are just on pure high horses. Like I have a hard time accepting people shipping rape, incest, pedophilia, etc because I've been through those and it's really really emotionally hard to see people talk about it in ships positively...I do try to be tolerable but it's difficult. However it's nothing about being on a high horse, ya know? A lot of people are like me. Not everyone. But a lot.

Oh dear, I’m very sorry for not making it clear that the post isn’t meant for people in your position, who are uncomfortable, but don’t actively go after people. I should check how I worded that since I only meant for it to apply to those sending hate mail, attacking people, spamming ship tags, etc.

Okay, I checked, and to really stress I didn’t mean folks like you, here:

majority of the high-horse, pure-as-crystal people who like to throw shit without reflecting

Some clarification is still needed. Like I wrote, it’s the shit-throwing I can’t stand. Not the aversion itself. No one should be straight out told to like or dislike anything, and we all have our own reasons. If you’re not pushing against others in an inconsiderate, egocentric, or thoughtless way, you should be free to choose how you feel/where you stand based on your style of judgement. 

The high-horse type takes their style to be the One Style that everyone must adhere to. When they attack people, it really does feel like a self-righteous crusade is taking place. Such people aren’t willing to even discuss it after launching their attacks, as they’ll shut down the conversation (with stuff like ”I’m not gonna listen to a [___] apologist lol”) immediately. 

It’s hard to see something so deeply off-putting to you, and I can relate to your struggle. You should feel free to voice your discomfort, share your opinion, and so on. It’s the nature of these objects of controversy that we’ll have a wide range of stances, all informed by varying considerations.

As long as the expression of these things is not used to flood tags, invade fandom space, or condemn (saying, “X makes me uncomfortable,” isn’t the same as saying, “X is a horrible ship,” after all), I have the utmost respect for your position. 

Even if you can’t help but damn us some in your mind, personal posts, etc, that’s understandable. You still sound like you extend yourself empathetically, staying aware of our different positions. I hope everyone treats you with due respect when you speak as a survivor of your experiences. Our interests in fiction shouldn’t compromise our compassion and how seriously we take the issues in real life.

Thanks for the message – I’m glad I got to carve out this distinction a bit. And thank you for your tolerance. 

[scampadversary]

yeah ""unhealthy ships"" dont bother me that much other than i guess i would blacklist some or whatever but i feel like shipping like incest or pedophilia is different??

As far as incest goes, I don’t feel it’s worse than or special from other ways a ship can be fucked up. People strongly associate it with pedophilia, though, which may explain why it’s being treated as exceptional. 

Incest can be genetically catastrophic if the members involved reproduce, which may explain our (and other species’) innate aversion to it. But it’s that very essentiality that makes the taboo so appealing for exploration and transgression. Fiction allows that. 

Pedophilia is trickier. I’ve written about the upper borderlines of it in ships. One, two, and three. Fiction makes it hard to judge sometimes simply due to how a character is portrayed (following the actual number the creator gives isn’t always a fair reflection. GRRM admitted he messed up ages in ASOIAF, for example).

The unquestionable cases, though, still leave me a little unsure. I recently read an academic article on otaku in general, plus in the context of loli. Towards the end the author said something like, “Pedophiles are people too.” The sentence reminded me that it’s important to remember that the title doesn’t automatically mean the act, and if these people are going to feel attraction no matter what, at least fiction is a safe way for them to get it out of their system. 

I feel uneasy, but with strict awareness of the distinction between fiction and reality is stressed, and an effort to only experience that desire towards fiction, I still see room for such things. Giving them some safe way to transgress is better than forcing them to try to repress – at least with my belief that repression is more dangerous and harmful in how it manifests. I think this relates back to incest in the sense that we’re probably hardwired to be especially repulsed by the idea of it. I don’t think anyone’s going to mistake it for acceptable from, say, a shota yaoi. Though it isn’t my personal taste, and I have more trouble with it, I only feel fair with this conclusion.

[scampadversary]

i agree with you so much. i've been on tumblr for nearly 3 years but it hasn't been until last year i noticed this sharp change in attitude and disgusting mob mentality that god forbid should anyone like something deemed 'unsavoury' in tumblr's eyes they are harassed. many artists i know are leaving for twitter/pixiv because they are sick of being too afraid to post their own work. it's sad that people here still don't see liking something in fiction ≠ liking that thing in real life.

Yeah, it seemed very sudden to me as well. Some think it might be due to an influx of younger members, but I don’t know about that… it’s like, people saw some posts on social justice and decided they from those they had the knowledge and right to represent the issues, however misguided. Ironically, what they do is a strange display of entitlement and arrogance. A little self-doubt, a little questioning. Those are useful things to have.

I’m concerned because this trend is pushing people towards repressing themselves. If you like something, being told you should be ashamed does more harm than good. It’s the absolute opposite of healthy self-actualization. 

[scampadversary]

Here’s one reason I don’t spend much time on tumblr at the moment. I’m going to be blunt, and quite honestly hateful towards at least some of my followers (who can go ahead and unfollow if they feel uncomfortable or w/e). 

The term problematic is a shitty measuring stick. It shouldn’t ever be used as though the term is self-evident and conclusive. 

What do you even mean by problematic? And are you talking for a group (or an entire culture) to which you don’t fucking belong? Do you really think that “problematic” is where it ends, no discussion? 

Listen, 1 + 1 doesn’t equal 2 here. When you’re talking about society, people, basically structures that rely on subjectivity, you sound naive and lost when you say something like, “Liking [___] promotes/excuses/normalizes [___].” How the fuck. Have you ever learned about audience reception? Cause textual analysis doesn’t fucking cut it.

You can pretend that you like or do not like things based on the morality/problematics you perceive in them, but every single person I’ve known who did this would twist themselves in knots to write off their own hypocrisy. 

Hey, I don’t care, I’m gonna say it: in fiction, I like noncon, dubcon, some level of guro/abuse, manipulation, abusive relationships, incest, and some other things that probably would earn me one of those ridiculous callout posts. Someone once told me they felt weird seeing me have opinions about fic plots because they knew I like noncon. Apparently liking noncon bans you from having opinions, ever, or at least expecting anyone to treat you as anything more than a Bad Person who has to be Silenced.

It’s not like I don’t know they’re problematic; I fucking like them because they are. That doesn’t mean I’m not critically engaging at all. I honestly think that I probably engage more critically than the majority of the high-horse, pure-as-crystal people who like to throw shit without reflecting. There’s so little [room for] thought with that mentality. 

Hey, let’s talk about how ending it at “this is problematic and bad, and so are you,” is intellectually pathetic. I’m personally interested in thinking about why something is problematic, why it appeals to people, and how they interact with it. And of course, enjoying it in spaces that don’t involve perpetrators of those things. Liking it doesn’t mean excusing it in real life.

Cause, y’know, 1 + 1 can’t equal 2 when the equation is being applied carelessly and to something it doesn’t fit.

Abusing entire groups of people for a ship, show, whatever they like that’s problematic, especially when they keep to themselves and are not denying the problematic aspects as what they are, is so much more vicious and unforgivable to me. When I try to figure out why they bother, it always comes down to the harasser wanting to fucking harass people and dressing that desire in terms that do not justify their actions in the least. 

The act of liking and enjoying the ~wrong~ fictional thing doesn’t justify that vitriol. But some people hate fun, I guess. They’d rather delude themselves. Go ahead, but leave others the hell out of it.

Edit: There was something I saw on tumblr once that stuck with me in a good way. It ended with the sentence, “You gotta be kind.” That’s what I think of when I want to approach lots of these issues. It’s not all-or-nothing, and that’s a positive thing.

[hentaiyarou]

#social justice #mine #fandom #rant #enough drama around my friends on tumblr has made me so angry #good and bad is such an outdated binary get over it #I'll be glad to lose some followers over this tbh #I don't care to censor myself meaninglessly #and for god's sake at people who expect users to tell them about their traumas to Justify something #you're butchering that concept too

[fetishfuel]

Kudan no Gotoku Uso Itsuwarinaku | Fate/Zero dj

[hentaiyarou]

HEY I was scouting for nasties as I often do and I came across your blog and in scrolling through looking for Good Shit I saw a post you made about being ace and I'm like !!! THANK GOD SOMEONE I CAN RELATE TO cause like a general view of asexuals is that they're laid back and Pure and think more often about cake or dragons or smth than sex and here I am like Notoriously Thirsty among all my friends, people often forget and I've even question my sexuality for it ;v; bless u for existing

Oh, I’m glad! I remember getting fed up with that stereotype as well, though lately I find more and more aces actively refuting it. Especially people who identify as cupiosexual, demisexual, greysexual, and/or autochorrissexual (this one is the most relevant, probably).

[hentaiyarou]

Thank you for being an abuse-kink yaoi blog that doesn't post shota! Thank you x1000000 oh my gosh

No problem! Thanks for the message.

[scampadversary]

Hi, I have the new chat feature now. This post is just to say you’re welcome to message me if you’d like! 

[hentaiyarou]

This also applies to people here, though don't mistake it as an invitation to cross boundaries you'd otherwise respect.

[hentaiyarou]

i went on your page because of some porn you posted, but i really like the discussions you have on here too. it's just refreshing to see someone so honest and open. not to mention you have great taste in porn :)

💖💜💖 Thanks, anon, I always am glad to hear that people appreciate the time and effort I put into those discussions (as well as the blog in general -- ignoring the fact I’ve been on hiatus for about half a year by now uhhhh). 

[scampadversary]

Hi, the itty-bittiest update: I’m in Tokyo (it’s officially been two weeks now). Kanji is going to kill me. I keep talking big on here about coming back but that’s not happening until I get my shit together for Intensive Japanese at Sophia, and I unfollow a bunch of people. 

[hentaiyarou]

ah did a sequel to that one kise doujin come out ever??? the one... it had color pages and he was like in a maid outfit i think?

Yeah, it sure did, and then some. For whatever reason, I can’t find a translation of the third one, but here:

Gamushara Mob Rape

Gamushara Mob Rape 2 ~Chikan Jigoku Hen~

Gamushara Mob Rape 3 ~Choukyou Kankin Hen~ 

Gamushara Mob Rape 4 ~Choukyou Kankin Hen 2~