Her Hair Smells Like Cinnamon @herhairsmells-likecinnamon - Tumblr Blog

lilyaforevr-deactivated20150911

Happy Together (1997)

Its been almost 4 years

since my last written post on my life’s current state.

I’ve been away. I’ve been far away living in different horizons. I’ve mended and broken life-long ties. I fought my demons and we come together once in a bender now and again.

I did what I wanted to do, travel. Ending up in unusual places around the world was complicated to explain, ‘I just felt like it’ is my only answer.

I did an awful lot of growing up the past in the past couple of years. I’m less depressed and more accepting of things I couldn’t change. I learned so much more about people and culture while living a foreign life around different continents.

Europe is cold and dark but summers are mesmerizing and unforgettable. That perfect warmth from the sun that hugs your skin so tenderly.

New York is filled with hustle and bustle, like living under the train tracks in Jackson Heights in Queens, the rumbling shakes never stop. The struggle is so transparent and seethrough, you work your ass off and you let all the mf know about it.

South America was a paradise in filthy media disguise. I could write a never-ending book about the experiences there.

The only surprise I have is I’m back in London again. But it won’t be long until I find another place to try out my luck.

I was hard coming back to Tumblr and looking through my old diary. It’s actually hard to look back and see how I look, how I was struggling to get through life. Depressed and lonely, those feelings creep back up like a chilling breeze that comes through a crack in parcel slot at the front door.

I won’t sugar coat it, I was crying every day - even at work, I have to run into the toilet and let a big one out. Crying every day on the phone to my best friend who kept saying ‘it will all past eventually’.

I read through my old post thinking about how I could give my old lonely and depressing self a hug and say that it will work out later on.

I am grateful for all the things that have happened. I am still living with one bag and ready to pack up for new adventures.

#notes