WAITING TO TURN.

independent ellie from the last of us.

[herimmunity-blog]

THE LIGHT IN THE DARK.

and at her statement, a twinge of pain crosses his expression — not because it had directly hurt HIM, but because it hurt him to see her think such a thing about herself. if she hadn’t said something about it now, he likely wouldn’t have known, and the thought of that, alone, scared him. ❝ …oh. ❞ voice soft, a huffed breath falls betwixt pallid brims; nathan sitting forward in his place, free arm coming to rest atop his knees whilst the hand held by her own returned the tightened grasp, his thumb brushing the back of her hand gently.

❝ well, for the record ? you didn’t. ❞ gaze remaining locked on her, he lightly tugs her hand to rest atop his knee; free hand closing over the back of her own, giving a light squeeze. ❝ i mean, if anything, you made it better. you’ve been there for me to fall back on when i need it most —— you haven’t left me behind. ❞ corners of lips tugging into a smile, a soft laugh falls betwixt parted lips at how cheesy he sounds right now. ❝ —— i’m glad you’re here, ellie. really. i don’t think i’d be doing as well as i am without you.. and.. i’m sorry that you feel this way. ❞

SHE WAS USED TO IT.   as much as she didn’t want to get comfortable with the loneliness that lingered for too long at the small of her back, she found it constantly seep into her realm of consciousness, into every fiber of her thoughts.   she isn’t the kind of person to really stick around because she only knows the pain of the burn it brings when it blows up in her face.   however, with nate … there’s something in him she trusts so deeply, and she has to tell him everything she thinks when it concerns him; she has to, even if it may take a while to get there, because her complete honesty is the one thing she feels he deserves the most from her, if nothing else.   but he has the rest of her, heart and soul, even if he doesn’t really realize it.   and that, that’s what scares her.

she finally acknowledges his gaze after a couple short moments of silent deliberation, and she freezes at the warmth radiating from him, before her lips slightly curl upward to return the favor.  i appreciate you so much, she wants to say, you’re the reason i’m even trying, i’d never leave you behind.   but she chooses something less deep and less personal, and turns her face away with a snort, because in the end she’s convinced herself that fear is all she has to keep her completely stable.   ❛   heh ... it’s okay.   thanks for being here.   partner.   ❜

[herimmunity-blog]

ASH CAKES THE BLOOMING CROWN   of her puckered serendipity like barbed-wire nooses strung from the light of the gallows; streaked syringes mark the decay of her girlhood, her decent into decadent destruction, pistol cocked in flavorless challenge.

❛   i totally just saved your ass.   you and i both know you’d be dead if i didn’t help; a little gratitude isn’t too much to ask for.   ❜   //   hellbitched.

[herimmunity-blog]

WHY DID THEY CAST TOM HOLLAND AS NATHAN DRAKE

[herimmunity-blog]

THE LIGHT IN THE DARK.

a part of him wanted to voice words of comfort towards her, and yet the other had opted for silence; preferring to simply comfort her in a silent gesture — lithe digits being intertwined with her own. considering she never pulled away either, he simply assumed that it helped; something he was glad for. yet it was the question he was suddenly faced with that had his attention turning towards her fully, his brows furrowing as he thought on it.

❝ —— yeah.. i do. going back, i mean.. ❞ he always thought about it, despite his best efforts not to. ❝ maybe someday we could ? ❞ so long as they stuck together — ❝ and i don’t know.. ❞ voice falling quiet, pale hues gaze towards her; brows arching slightly. ❝ do you think this was a mistake ? ❞

SHE FREEZES AT HIS RESPONSE,   her expression blank before it morphs into something indiscernible.   they could always go back if he really wanted to.   the question isn’t whether or not she wouldn’t want to or whether or not they even would, it’s whether or not he’d want her to come with him.   she’s able to rationalize that he would ( otherwise he would’ve never come this far with her to begin with ), but her doubts constrict her lungs and bring on a deep-rooted paranoia.   they’re joined hand in hand and her grip curls tightly; it’s the only thing tangible, the only thing that keeps her rooted.

her brushes with times where things were stripped from her, her feelings of isolation; she can’t help but feel like she’s probably going to lose him, too.   it scares her, and she can’t even really bring herself to tell him.   her gaze refuses to meet his, but she feels his eyes scanning her complexion and hardens her shell a little more.    ❛   i can’t help but feel like... i kinda ruined your life a little.   ❜

[elefluff]

I’ll do whatever it takes, I’ll make a million mistakes, I’ll make the world safe and sound for you.

available as a print, etc on society6

[herimmunity-blog]

YOU'RE WORTH THE FIGHT.

HE’S  THE  GRIT - BONED  ATLAS,    borne  of  a  woodland  smell,   wrought  in  wet - earth  and  blood.    she’s  another  weight  on  the  aching   shoulders  which  carry  the  world                the  burden  of  humanity’s  fate  is  a  heavy  one,     hurts  like  hell.    misery - carved  brute  with  rebellion  in  blood,   HE  CARRIES  IT  ANYWAY.              ❛    look,  ellie.     ′  

              heavy  -  boots   settle  with  the  rumble  of  thunder   ;     wood  creaks  somewhere,    a  gust  flutters   tattered  curtains.    stubbled  jaw  grits,    lips  gone  into  a  FROWN.    (    when  is  she  gonna  learn  ?    )       ❛      i’m  puttin’  my  damn  life  on  the  line  here.    for  you.    for  this  stupid  firefly  business.      ′      there’s  a  pause  and  it  drags.     ❛    this  ain’t  some  happy - go - lucky  road trip  where  you  can  go explorin’  and  messin’  around  all  y’like.    this  is    HELL,  ellie,   and  the  infected  ain’t  gonna   wait  around  for  you to  play  with  some  toy.     ′  

HER DECAY IS THE SCARIEST   kind.   she doesn’t harden into petrified antiquity, she turns into a product of despair and wildfire.   there’s a mark of a survivor carved into the lining of her ribs, and no one knows the pain of that mark more than he does.   she’s come to read his lifeline better than he can.   sometimes, however, his mark makes him a prisoner of darkened insensitivity, and she doesn’t tolerate it.   she feels like she shouldn’t have to.

❛   you know joel, you don’t have to be such a hardass.   every time i just look at something, you go off.   it’s pretty annoying.   ❜   her sigh runs like a scarlet sign on the curve of her mouth, a warning.   it irritates her more than anything when he makes it sound like he’s the only one making any sacrifices.   she’s crucified herself for him, she wants it to be understood it isn’t one-sided.   ❛   i know what we’re supposed to do and i know how important it is; i don’t need you treating me like a fucking child.   okay ?   ❜

[herimmunity-blog]

HER FINGERS ARE INTERTWINED WITH   his while they sit against a wall in a high school they broke into, an attempt of his to help her overcome her anxiety.   they’ve been on this journey of theirs long enough for him to figure out when something’s wrong without her having to voice it, and a part of her is grateful that she finally has someone to fall back onto, but another another part of her is starting to be consumed by the fear generated from her insecurities.   ellie’s voice is soft, almost hesitant, as if it faces the looming threat of escaping her lungs in an empty gasp rather than a hollowed out series of words.

❛   ... do you ever think about, you know ... going back ?   do you ever wonder if this was a mistake ?   ❜   //   sarraqum.

[herimmunity-blog]

YOU'RE WORTH THE FIGHT.

❛    DAMN  IT,   ellie                we  ain’t  got  time  for  fuckin’  around,   put that thing back where you found it.    ′  

❛                                        sheesh, alright.   ❜

HER BREATH GHOSTS THE CURVE   of her mouth, fingers running along the surface of a worn-out bobblehead before placing it back in its home on a grimy bookshelf.   bittersweet serendipity cakes her complexion in ash and bone, the language in her eyes a suspended occupation as her fingers fail to release the base of the toy, more out of acknowledgement of hollowed rapacity rather than an actual inability to let go.

❛   ... bring it down a couple notches, will ya ?   ❜

[gamegifsdaily]

[herimmunity-blog]

❛                                                                 put the fucking gun down, then we’ll talk.   deal ?   ❜   //   valorslain.

[herimmunity-blog]

like this for a thing maybe?

[herimmunity-blog]

BE THEIR COMPASS.

     IT’S  BEEN  a  while  since  she’s  —  run  into  anyone  her  a g e .  granted,  maybe  she’s  a  little  older,  but  she’s  still  near  it  ;;  and  that  reason  alone  is  having  her  be  a  bit  more  trustworthy  than  usual.  ❛  well,  so-rry  then.  jesus.  who  are  you?  ❜

ELLIE’S BREATH IS HEAVY ON   the borders of her mouth, her hands going to her hips as she reverts her gaze momentarily to some distant object on her right; she won’t give up her caution just yet, but she’ll cooperate now that it seems the tension is resolved at least a little.

❛   … ellie; the name’s ellie.   and you ?   ❜

[carnivorousbosmer-deactivated20]

The Last of Us: Remastered  Ellie 13/?

[rahgot]

[herimmunity-blog]

rahgot:

The Last Of Us Remastered + Random Screencaps (12/??)

[herimmunity-blog]

THE LIGHT IN THE DARK.

HER voice comes as a surprise to him – it having broken through the silence of the room, he wasn’t expecting it in the slightest. how bold, he thought. she knew he was here, but she wasn’t aware of WHO he was. how dangerous it was for her to call out into the confines of a an empty shop —— taunting the one occupying it with her unknowing of their intentions. of course, they weren’t his, but he wouldn’t put it past another to use this opportunity to take her out if it was what they set their mind to. her bravery was admirable, in a way. but seeing as how she’d already confirmed her awareness to him, there was no need to continue sneaking about. besides, she didn’t sound that old – what’s the worst she could do?

with CAUTION did he step out of the aisle, pale blue shards carrying their gaze onto the source of the voice — she certainly didn’t look any older than himself if he had to take a guess, and from the sound of it, she wasn’t supposed to be here either. so they both broke in, just on opposite ends, he assumed. well that explained why he hadn’t seen her until now.

❝ alright — you caught me. ❞ he mused, hands raising momentarily in mock defeat. ❝ what’s your plan now, huh ? ❞ it was sarcasm, obviously – his own way to taunt her; to poke fun at her little stunt pulled. ❝ i mean .. you’ve gotta have something, right ? why else would you just blow your cover like that ? ❞

TRUTH BE TOLD, THERE WASN’T   really a contingency plan, but rather, a sequence of different possibilities that ran through her head at the potential of a more terrible reveal, and she capitalized on her lack of one without really thinking about the consequences of her actions; but, she hears a voice speaking back to her and she softens considerably under the weight of this revelation.   he sounded young, very young, which was extremely good for her — and she’s hoping her voice did relieve some of the tension on his end.   the shot in the dark proves itself to end with a brightness of clarity, even with the danger it once previously exposed and placed her into.   she absorbs his language, the tone of his words, and the smirk once embellished on her lips dissolves into a softer kind of smile when she turns to face the mysterious source of the voice.   her gaze locks onto his, and her shoulders visibly begin to relax as her hands drop down to her sides.

but as suddenly as she composed herself in the wake of his reveal, her face falls with the registry of some hidden grief, a secret to her.

❛   i was ready to shank you; that’s about it.   ❜   it’s delivered with a snort — the statement isn’t the truth in its entirety.

unbeknownst to the boy she’s learned she’s addressing, there’s a pistol in her bag she took from her last foster home, and she was honestly hoping she wouldn’t have to use it.   however, she always brought it with her under the foresight she might be backed into a corner with no other option.   he didn’t know her, and she didn’t know him; if luck was on her side, she’d never see him again, and he’d never have to know her story or her motives.   there’s a part of her that thinks he wouldn’t ever want to hear it, anyway.   ❛   so stranger, what brings you here so late ?   business hours are from eight a.m. to ten p.m. sir.   ❜   she states with her own edge of sarcasm, walking over to a shelf with merchandise that caught her eye.   she wasn’t expecting an in-depth answer, and she knows he has no reason to give her one, but she is a little curious.

[toughdeal-blog]

sends u 💋 while i work on ur reply... (:

    kiss my muse !      + selectively accepting.

            tiny hands BRACED themselves on broad shoulders ; a kiss bestowed upon the apple of his cheek, avoiding most of the wiry hairs he hadn’t been able to contain to a more decent level recently. it was INNOCENT in nature            something only someone like ellie williams would do at a time like this. when they had time to spare, when they were taking a breather before finding their way back to tommy’s settlement.

            (  he still didn’t call the settlement home          home had suddenly turned into easy footsteps just slightly out of sync, one pair of legs too short to keep stride with the other. home was a JOKE BOOK, those damn comic books he couldn’t help but collect whenever he saw them as they went along. home was a tentative smile, an offer of a high five when both knew words were a little TOO MUCH at times. home was in the cracked remains of his ribcage, settled there for a young girl he hadn’t known he’d care so much about to take if she so chose.  )

                    “              ya’ve been affectionate lately. what’s goin’ on in that head’a yers ?      ”

[herimmunity-blog]

SAVIOR, STAY WITH ME.

            it was hard, having to go through a situation he hadn’t expected to go through this soon. bone tired, it felt like she was shoving her fist into his chest, cracking his ribs WIDE OPEN. winding that tiny fist around his heart, just because she had the problem to rip it out if she so chose. & he’d let her, he knew that much for certain. he’d let her do it with a smile on his face, knowing he was allowing her to choose her own fate. allowing her to choose his fate. it wasn’t healthy, but it helped EASE some of the tension out of his muscles.

            he never expected to suddenly find himself devoting his life to someone again. he’d given his entire being to making sure sarah was well-fed, that she was as HAPPY as she could ever be. when she died, a part of him died with her. a large chunk ripped out of him, ugly in its intensity, hard to hide for a long time after. he was FEROCIOUS with his grief, never allowing anyone near enough to weasel their way into his bloodstream like that again. she was blood, she was his LIFE ; & now, between one blink & the next, he saw sarah in his unfocused gaze. smiling that sweet smile of hers, dragging open wounds he thought were sealed shut.

            ellie was another chance at keeping him AFLOAT. another chance at making sure he kept his promise when he swore he would rather die than let them take her away.

                “      yeah          yeah, y’are.      ”    a resigned countenance, coupled with a chuckle that was more AIR than anything else.    “      i was tryin’ …      ”

            he almost couldn’t even say it, but              “      i was tryin’ ta save ya from yerself. from givin’ yerself up ta a cause that didn’t give a DAMN about throwin’ away the life of a KID in the name of some greater good bullshit they kept spewin’.      ”    a hand jerked forward, almost REACHING OUT, before aborting the action entirely. almost like he thought better than to make any sort of contact right now. let her come forward herself if she felt a need to. like he was coaxing a scared animal close.

                “              i was bein’ selfish. can ya FAULT me fer that ? fer wantin’ you to live yer life like yer s’posed to, without worryin’ about shit ya shouldn’t be worried about ?      ”

SHE DOESN’T KNOW HIS ENTIRE   story, and she’s not asking him to indulge her in that fashion just yet; but this moment, it’s justified.   she was calling his means of protecting her into question, and she felt as though she had every right to.   however, now that they’re both here, sitting in this stuffy kind of silence with nothing but the awkward revelation of the honesty behind a lie, she’s not sure what to do or what to think.   her opinion of him hasn’t changed; on the contrary, it’s improved immensely now that she fully understands the reasoning behind his fabrication, but she’s momentarily struck with a loss for words.   this is the portrait of a broken man, a man who lost everything and tried to save her from having to let go before it was her time.   in that moment, he revealed to her the level of devotion he has for her; she knew he cared, but this is new information, a new tightening in her chest, and she’s now just as exposed as he has been.

there’s no telling how nervous and terrified he might be; she’s stretching him well beyond his comfort zone, but he gave her no other choice.   she’s prying because she wanted to know, she wanted to comprehend, and he owed her that much at the very least.   they’ve gone through so much together, and she never fully bounced back from everything.   he was there to help her pick up the pieces, but she’s concerned some of the pieces he’s been helping her put back into place were also his own.

❛   that wasn’t your call, it should’ve been mine.   yeah, it was kinda selfish, but... i get it.   they were going to let me die, and you were scared.   i was, too.   i promised we’d do whatever you wanted thinking we both were going to be safe after everything was finally over.   ❜   a collection of declaration — but it isn’t delivered with a sound of revised care, no.   it’s completely soft around the edges, not a reprimand but a clarification of the truth.   her own fingers twitch, but she’s nervous to reach out to him; joel was never the touchy-feely type, and she’s scared that she’ll send him off before she’s ready to say goodbye.

❛   i don’t hate you for it.   i just don’t understand why you didn’t tell me when i asked; did you think i would ?   ❜