@hesawacomxt - Tumblr Blog

xandyoulethergo-deactivated2014

The closeness to the edge was overwhelming for Caroline and she probably shouldn’t be standing there, but she leaned over the edge to look out over the streets of London and it was a bit of a head rush. Adrenaline. Biting into her lip, she straightened up and watched Grayson pack the bowl beside her as she took another drag from her cigarette. Her gaze flickered over him for a moment and she had to refrain from reaching over, grabbing his jacket, and pulling him toward her for a kiss.

Instead, she grabbed the bowl and put her cigarette out. She lit the other object up and inhaled slowly. Her eyes drifted shut. She held the bowl out for Grayson before raising her hands above her head and stretching. She saw Grayson remove the bowl from his lips and the smoke filtered out of his mouth.

"If you don’t go back to bed, ‘m gonna end up doin’ something stupid."

She bounced up and down on the balls of her feet, trying to keep warm beneath her jumper and her jacket and her joggers. She was gonna do something stupid and she was going to like it. She was going to love it because she loved him.

hesawacomxt

[ ☄ ] : He watched the lights out of the horizon of the city, watched the hustle and bustle of the lives around him, below him on the street, in the windows of the buildings around them. Grayson wondered if there was anyone else out there, awake right now that felt the way he did: like their chest was full of too much love and his body was numb from exhaustion and on fire with emotion. Wondered if everyone felt too much, right then, too. Then he turned towards Caroline to extend the bowl after he'd taken a second hit. And he knew, of course, that yes, someone did at least. "Ninety nine percent of the things you do are stupid, bunny rabbit." He was teasing of course, speaking with an exhale of spoke that dispersed in the wind. His heart thrummed a little louder. Maybe from the pot, maybe from the way she was looking at him and the fact that she was looking at him at all. Grayson wasn't sure. His body was slowly starting to relax into the state of being high. It didn't take much given his tolerance and lack of indulgence.

#c ;;#{ mv; }#xandyoulethergo

xinoblitus

It was late for most people, but Milo was wide awake and staring at the television in his bedroom. Insomnia was great…always. Medication never worked; his mind was just going to be loud for the rest of his godforsaken life and he was getting used to it. No way in hell had he been looking at his phone hoping to hear from someone he hadn’t spoken to in weeks. Of course not. The boy had family to take care of and as hurt as Milo was, he didn’t hold it against Grayson to just up and completely disappear.

Milo was used to that.

He probably changed his mind about everything and he kind of figured that’d be the case. He was an experiment and nothing more. That didn’t mean it didn’t make him sick to think about. Turning his head, he sniffled back the tears and read the clock. Time for some tea to calm him down. Clearing his throat he pushed himself to his feet and he walked out of his bedroom in just his joggers.

He stopped when he heard a knock on the door and a frown marred his features. Amelia and Ryan probably had a spat given the time. Shaking his head, he brushed the curls from his face and whipped the door open. Well…that sure as hell wasn’t Amelia. His stomach did a swoop and he inhaled sharply, trying to keep the panic at bay. As if he would ever slam the door in his face. Without a word, he stepped aside so Grayson could walk in and he slammed the door before proceeding into the kitchen to make his tea, assuming the boy would follow him.

hesawacomxt

[ ☄ ] : His heart was in his throat and his ears and pounding against the inside of his chest all at once and it's was lot. It was a lot to feel in a single moment with the door closed behind his back and Milo's scent in his lungs. Grayson wanted to cry. He could even feel the burn behind his eyes but he swallowed it back with the lump in his throat and followed behind him instead. "I didn't abandon you. I sw-swear, Mi. It was just so fracking hard to find time to sleep much less time to find to be here given everything that was happening. Caroline was in re-really rough shape and Jordan couldn't do much to keep her calm, and I had to keep everyone from completely falling apart. I didn't abandon you, I just got lost in taking care of everyone else, I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry, Milo. If you d-don't want to be with me then that's the least I deserve but I need you to know that it's not because I wasn't sure, it's not be- ca-because I changed my mind. I can't change my mind, I'm in love with you, I'm so i-in love with you. My family just needed me I'm " The words tumbled out of his mouth without the normal elegance or thought, or gracefulness that they normally did. Grayson was just so exhausted that he could hardly piece together what his life had become much less how it got there. How everything he had been figuring out for himself had turned into him forgetting he had a life of his own until the rare occasion when he caught twenty minutes of sleep and green eyes haunted his dreams. He stood there with his throat tight and his eyes trained to the ceiling in hopes that he wouldn't cry despite the fact that he knew he was going to, unsure how he really managed to get to this point in his life.

#c ;;#xinoblitus #{ v. for chemstry's sake }

xandyoulethergo-deactivated2014

She pushed herself all day long. Every part of her body ached and this was just her trying to keep herself busy. She couldn’t really leave the apartment on her own, so she was stuck dancing or writing or smoking. And then she stopped in the middle of a song and stared at the bed where Grayson was sleeping. Or she thought he was sleeping. The tiny blonde wasn’t sure what was going on in her mind right now, but she walked out of the bedroom without turning the music off, grabbed her jacket and her cigarettes and headed up to the roof.

As soon as she was up there, she tilted her head back and suddenly let out a scream. Her chest kind of exploded from the force and she gasped as she walked over to the edge of the building and she lit up a cigarette. She bit into her lip when she heard his voice and she didn’t dare look at him when her eyes were glistening again.

"You don’t smoke."

But she threw the pack over to him anyway and she felt her mind trembling. Could her mind tremble? Fuck if she knew, it was capable of anything lately.

"You need to go back to bed, Gray…" She whispered before blowing out a puff of smoke.

hesawacomxt

[ ☄ ] : He looked down at the pack of cigarettes in his hand; he had plucked them out of the air easily when she tossed them. "You're right," he hummed quietly, taking one out of the pack and thinking back to when she was first taken to the hospital after the highway incident when he had bummed cigarettes from Chance and Keith in hopes of calming him down, of keeping him awake. He lit it and pulled in deep on his way to the edge of the roof where she was situated, handing the pack back over and exhaling a stream of smoke away from her face. He was even careful enough to consider the wind. Completely ignoring her statement about going back to bed, he pulled the small bowl out of his pocket, placing it on the ledge in order to pack it enough for the two of them. "Well, I'm too busy smoking pot with a bunny rabbit because we're idiots."

#c ;;#{ mv; }#xandyoulethergo

[ ☄ ] : He isn't sure what makes him crawl out of bed, now that Caroline's asleep when he really should just catch a couple hours for himself before getting up to make breakfast. Except he does know. He knows because it's the only thing he's been thinking about since he's been able to catch his breath long enough to worry about something other than his step sister and her health and taking care of his family. He know exactly why his feet carry him to the car and why his car takes him to a familiar parking lot across the street from a familiar apartment building with a familiar boy inside. His boyfriend, if he still has a right to call him that. It's 12:25 am. He knocks until he gets an answer, and then he breathes in sharply and forces himself not to just collapse into him. Grayson hadn't told him anything other than his sister wanted to go on vacation, that he'd been back in a couple of weeks, that he'd get in contact as soon as he could. And he just hadn't been able to. It had all happened too fast and all of his composure had been spent on being strong for his family, for everyone else. Grayson looked a thousand times less put together than he was but right now, looking like hell, he felt like it. "Listen please, please listen before you slam the door in my face."

#c ;;#xinoblitus #{ v. for chemstry's sake }

[ ☄ ] : There wasn't even a way to describe his exhaustion. It was quite possibly, literally impossible to do so. But the sight of her glossy eyes drew him out of bed without so much as a thought. It wasn't whether or not he had enough energy to do anything, it was the fact that he had to do something, so he did. Sleep would come later, that was fine. He would be okay. Grayson was sure of that. What he wasn't sure of, was if Caroline was. He'd watched her break too many times to risk letting it happen when he could be there. Call it worry, call it over protectiveness, call it love. Whatever it was, he pulled him out of bed and into a pair of joggers and a ratty t-shirt and then onto the roof top with a lighter in hand. "Are you gonna share?"

#c ;#{ mv. }#xandyoulethergo