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The “But We Really Are Dating” Excuse

Men, just like women, want to feel emotionally protected when a relationship starts to become serious. One way they do that is by laying claim to it. They actually want to say “I’m your boyfriend” or “I’d like to be your boyfriend” or “If you ever break up with that other guy who’s not your boyfriend, I’d like to be your boyfriend.” A man who’s really into you is going to want you all to himself. And why wouldn’t he, hot stuff?

The “He Just Got Out of a Relationship” Excuse

Beware of the word “friend.” It can often be used by men or the women that love them to excuse the most unfriendly behavior. Personally, when I’m picking friends, I like the ones who don’t make me cry myself to sleep.

He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Not Dating You

“Hanging Out” is Not Dating

“Busy” is another word for “asshole.” “Asshole” is another word for the guy you’re dating.

If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a reccurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs.

Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do.

If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do the same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you.

If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind.

The “Maybe We’re Just Different” Excuse

I’m about to make a wild, extreme, and severe relationship rule: The word “busy” is a load of crap and is most often used by assholes. The word “busy” is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction. It seems like a good excuse, but in fact, in every silo you uncover, all you’re going to find is a man who didn’t care enough to call. Remember: Men are never too busy to get what they want.

The “Maybe We’re Just Different” Excuse

Yes, it seems like it’s just a machine that transmits voice waves over wires and comes in different styles, like cordless, cellular, handheld, and rotary, but the truth is, the phone has officially reached a new high in relationship symbolism. Is a phone call just a phone call, or is it really the almighty representation of how much he really cares about you? Probably somewhere in the middle. And a good man will know that and use this handy telecommunication device accordingly. E-mails need not apply.

The “He Just Says Things He Doesn’t Mean” Excuse

We have become a sloppy bunch of people. We say things we don’t mean. We make promises we don’t keep. “I’ll call you.” “Let’s get together.” We know we won’t. On the Human Interaction Stock Exchange, our words have lost almost all their value. And the spiral continues, as we now don’t even expect people to keep their word; in fact we might even be embarrassed to point out to the dirty liar that they never did what they said they’d do. So if a guy you’re dating doesn’t call when he says he’s going to, why should that be such a big deal? Because you should be dating a man who’s at least as good as his word.

The “But He’s Got a Lot on His Mind” Excuse

The big question here is, “Is it okay for a guy to forget to call me?” I’m saying to you, “No.” Barring disaster—someone had to be rushed to the hospital, he was just fired from his job, someone keyed his Ferrari (kidding)—he should never forget to call you. If I like you, I don’t forget you, ever. Don’t you want the guy who’ll forget about all the other things in his life before he forgets about you?

Don’t let the “honeys” and “babys” fool you. His sweet nothings are exactly that. They are much easier to say than “I’m just not that into you.” Remember, actions speak louder than “There’s no cell reception where I am right now."

He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Not Calling You

Men Know How to Use the Phone Oh sure, they say they’re busy. They say that they didn’t have even a moment in their insanely busy day to pick up the phone. It was just that crazy. Bullshit. With the advent of cell phones and speed dialing it is almost impossible not to call you. Sometimes I call people from my pants pocket when I don’t even mean to. We may try to make you think differently, but we men are just like you. We like taking a break from our generally mundane day to talk to someone we like. It makes us happy. And we like to be happy. Just like you. If I were into you, you would be the bright spot in my horribly busy day. Which would be a day that I would never be too busy to call you.

You are good enough to be asked out.

Men don’t forget how much they like you. So put down the phone.

“Hey, let’s meet at so-and-so’s party/any bar/friend’s house” is not a date. Even if you live in New York.

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