Hey! She's Engaged!
There was a time when I was younger when I wrote about love and relationships. I would write post after post in my old blogs because it was a way for me to process whatever was going on in my romantic relationships at that time.
Wow, writing "romantic relationships" as if there were a lot and they were "romantic" haha! In reality, I only had two and they were all silly, young love.
Back then, everything felt serious. There were more bad moments than silly, giddy and sweet moments. I used to think that if there are no arguments, then the relationship is boring. That we're settling and there's no spark. So, there were arguments almost always, most of which were caused by me. I always pushed the other person, testing them to see their reaction to certain things that I say or do, trying to see if they're going to give up and change their mind. There was only so much pushing that one person could take, and so my last relationship crashed and burned. I was young, insecure, and I didn't know better.
When that ended, I spent a long time being single. I spent most days trying to build myself up, figure out my insecurities and fix them. There were some weird "situationship" in the most mild way in college. It was always unclear, even though there were hints of us liking each other; the answer was never definite. And it made me learn that I respect myself enough to not be someone's "maybe".
When I moved to Spain, I wasn't really looking for a relationship. Everything was new and exciting. I was focused on seeing cool new things, trying out new food, experiencing things that I used to only see in movies or in Youtube videos. I chatted with a few people through an app and was encouraged by my friends, but nothing really came out of it.
Until I met Ben.
Talking to him, meeting him, just being around him felt safe and comfortable. We were clear with what we wanted out of the whole experience, right from the start. It didn't take too long for me to fall in love.
Even when we were in a long-distance relationship, he always made sure that I felt safe, comfortable and loved. We don't fight all the time. There were arguments and several melt-downs (mostly by me lol), but we always talked and figured it out. In the end, everything always feels peaceful.
At one point, I thought we were becoming boring and too used to each other. I thought we were settling and that there wasn't any friction in our relationship. But I didn't realize that being in a relationship that feels safe and peaceful isn't boring. It should be the standard. I guess I was so used to a relationship that made me feel on edge all the time that I don't know that this is what a healthy relationship looks like: calm, safe and peaceful.
Ben made me learn so many things about love, relationships, and life. After five years, we're finally getting married! It has been a long time coming, and we can't wait.
Three years of being long-distance: him in Canada, while I was in Spain. We closed the distance two years ago when I moved to Canada. We have plans to move back eventually, but for now, we're starting our lives together here.
I remember the summer when Ben was getting ready to move back to Canada from Spain. We were in my summer apartment, enjoying an afternoon drink, when he drunkenly said, "I am going to marry you one day," and even if he was a bit drunk, he meant it.
In a few months, we're going to be husband and wife.
I'm so grateful and lucky that I get to experience a once-in-a-lifetime love like this.