Efg

A personal blog of a sleep deprived aspiring RPh

[heyitsrcoor]

August 13, 2023 | Sunday | 1:25 PM

It’s been a while. A lot of things happened, except for my thesis. Honestly, I’m too scared to open my Facebook and other socmeds because every time I see a grad photo, it just makes me want to cry. I’m filled with jealousy but mostly disappointment to none other than myself. I’ve accepted the teaching job at MMSU hoping it would lift my dampened and withering spirit. But it gave me more excuse to not actually work on my data collection. I guess it did occupy most of my time and I could forgive myself because there were so many tasks to do in the academe. But I feel like I could have suffered more. I could have had more sleepless nights. I could have chosen to prioritize my MS more.

There’s that. But you know what, there is no use crying over what has already passed. There is no other way but forward. I’ve set too many failed goals but this time, I’m surrendering it all to God.

Clear yourself with can’t.

I’ve been doubting myself, always thinking that I wasn’t ready. But I have to move my foot forward. Heck, I need to take a leap. Nothing’s gonna happen if I remained scared. Let’s finish the race, Esther.

Here’s to Sablay 2022, 2023 2024. Padayon.

[heyitsrcoor]

am I depressed?

i feel like i've lost all my motivation to pick myself up

[heyitsrcoor]

seryoso na, magsusulat na talaga ako ng thesis...

bukas

[hatin]

How do u deal with your problems?

I don’t 

[heyitsrcoor]

me lately

[heyitsrcoor]

How do I pick myself up?

I feel like I'm in the deepest depth of my despair.

[heyitsrcoor]

Twenty-five twenty one final episode (more thoughts)

At the 5 minute mark of Episode 16, I was just hoping they end things together. It hurts to see them hurt each other. I understand Baek Yi Jin's passion for his job and how he was going through things, his mental health declining each day he was in New York. Na Hee Do, while doing her best to support Yi Jin is also barely holding on. What she was experiencing was a repeat of what she had gone through with her mom--waiting, understanding, forgiving. What's striking to me is that they've gone through that already in the past, when Baek Yi Jin moved to the countryside. Despite the lack of communication, they were able to extend their support to each other. The difference was the kind of love they had before and now. Hence, it was really painful to hear Hee Do lament on her decision to pursue that different kind of love. The "I want to have you" kind of love.

As someone who has never gone through a heartbreak, it baffles me how people's seemingly perfect love can change over a certain circumstance. I always wonder if it was the fault of the times or just people who gave up. It scares me how one can feel and experience things for someone, investing time and effort, and end up becoming a stranger.

I know that a sad ending doesn't mean a bad ending. But to be honest, I'm still processing it. Both POVs are valid though.

[heyitsrcoor]

Twenty-Five Twenty-One Final Episode

everything will pass

the sadness

the joy

the love

but each moment is but a chip of what's yet to come

look forward to it

but also keep the present

-

My heart is in pain. I've expected this and yet I was still hoping until the very last minute. Damn that epilogue didn't even do anything to appease me. I know it was inevitable for the drama to end that way because of what the writer wanted to convey. I'm not complaining. But I'm still hurt. Do I regret watching this? Absolutely not.

(also I caught the Barro from Search: WWW lol)

[heyitsrcoor]

25-21 Episode 11 Rants

· I love how they cover the experiences of both athletes and regular students. Both are struggling equally. I used to think that student-athletes had the easiest end of the stick. But they also have moments when they wanted to run away.

· There's a lot of foreshadowing about remembering moments together. And in the previous episode, present Hee Do can't seem to remember the precious outing. I wonder if there's some sort of amnesia/dementia going on.

· The stationary store scene was so freakin hilarious. I was clutching my stomach when they showed Yi Jin using that girly pink pencil case. Comedy peak without even trying.

· When your career becomes your whole character, you'll eventually lose the people you love. I know some jobs could be really demanding, however it all boils down to what you truly prioritize. Hee Do's mom choosing to report flash news over being there with her 13-year-old daughter in a very crucial moment is for me inexcusable. Behind the professionalism of Hee Do's mom were Hee Do's heartaches. Add that to her not communicating with her daughter properly, it's inevitable that her daughter would not understand her. But of course, we are all flawed humans. I'm just glad she eventually was able to take off her cool image and be vulnerable.

· Baek Yi Jin's line:

"I don't think not living your dream means you've failed in life. And I don't think that living your dream means you've succeeded either. I simply want to do well at my job right now."

That was such a powerful and honest line. Sometimes, we just have to give our best shot in whatever season we are in currently. That's more important than dwelling on failure or success.

· Yi Jin head-bopping Hee Do was so cute aaahhhckk my heart

[heyitsrcoor]

25-21 EP 4

"Why do you root for me? Even my mom doesn't."

"Because you give me hope. And I want more for you"

"I think that explains why I miss you when I'm mentally weak"

Having a support system really helps. Being with people who inspire you strengthens your soul. The writer did an excellent job of weaving a beautiful "platonic" relationship between our leads. No skinship, just pure heart-fluttering conversations. I was all smiles when Baek Yi Jin tried on the fencing gear and had a "spar" with Hee Do. When we like someone, we become curious about what they're passionate about. We want to dip ourselves into their world. The blackout and the green light in the background scene were so so beautiful. I was like "that's it if these two don't have a happy ending, ima go ahead and paint my face like a clown"

I used to not be bothered with the theories at the present time but now, I could understand why people are fretting. BAEK YI JIN x NA HEE DO ENDGAME JUSEYO

[captainjoongki]

#relatable

[heyitsrcoor]

this is the same expression I also fell in love with in WFKBJ

[heyitsrcoor]

“When a girl cries, few things are more worthless than a boy.” ― Alexandra Bracken, The Darkest Minds

[heyitsrcoor]

F4 Thailand: Boys Over Flowers (2021) EP 1

Well done!

I love how this version has its own identity and color. While the storyline is the same, the dialogue, the background, the framing of the story is just a breath of fresh air. They opted for the emotional/psychological/angsty lens as opposed to the comical, over-the-top kind of drama. FYI, the bullying was really bad and triggering.

Thyme...what can I say? I just want to punch his handsome face. He's infuriating as always but thank God they've gotten rid of the ugly hairstyle.

Gorya is the toned-down, realistic version. She shows vulnerability but she could be strong if she wants to. The kick was so good! I was clapping when the dude fell with his legs up lmao

Love how they switched things up and we see Ren as an artist instead of a violinist lol I used to love the character in Meteor Garden and HanaDan but the other versions of him were just cheezy and pretentious. In here, he seems like a genuine person and not wishy-washy. It's probably too early to tell, but I'm liking him now.

It's just too bad they'll be releasing only 1 episode a week. I'm still deciding whether I'll put this on hold and binge it when it's completed. Or should I just painfully wait every week?

What do you guys think of this adaptation?

[heyitsrcoor]

"Will you marry me?" but make it Joseon

[heyitsrcoor]

Red Sleeve Cuff EP6

I laughed so hard at the last few minutes. Was she supposed to "accidentally" fall into him? LMAO it looked like she instinctively fell after being up close and personal with CP's abs! So far I'm loving the fact that our FL is not just there for the ML to fall in love with but she's quite useful and clever.

Deok Ro...ugh seeing him makes my skin crawl. I initially thought he'd loosen up after seeing FL help his sister but damn, he really just sees her as a rival. Also, him insinuating that his sister would love the palace reminded me of his plan to marry her off to the CP. Yikes.

Also, can we talk about how clingy our ML is?

Anyway, I'm kinda sad I've finally caught up with all the episodes. :(

[heyitsrcoor]

stuck

I can't seem to find my will to face my thesis.

It's November already and next month I should start doing my interviews.

But I'm still procrastinating on every single task that needs to get done to proceed.

I honestly just want to disappear. Or at least pause the time.

I just want to sleep everything away.

[heyitsrcoor]

I'm considering na mag-academe na after MS. Idk, I feel stupid sometimes. As in limot ko na talaga pharmacology. Feeling ko kapag nasa academe ako I'll be more updated with everything. But then, iba din kapag nasa practice :/

Praying...

[heyitsrcoor]

It's a lazy day. I just answered a few emails and rested the whole day. I'll probably just clean and stuff