Grey pages.

Been living for 18 years on this harsh world. Seemingly incorrigible yet driven by a desire to prove worth. A film and tv enthusiast. Book aficionado

[heyljc]

I don’t hate thunder and lightning. It gives me the permission to be angry sometimes. If the sky could, then so can I.

[heyljc]

I just watched Minions and Pitch Perfect 2 today!

[heyljc]

Good morning, earthlings!!! Have a blessed Sunday!

[heyljc]

“Don't believe what the lines on your hand predict. People with no hands also have a future.”

[heyljc]

Just finished watching Who Are You: School 2015

I am so in love with this drama!!! Kim So-hyun nailed the role. I love the badass Eun Byul. Jealous Nam Joo-hyuk is really cute. Yook Sungjae’s antics are the best! Btw, is it just me or Seo In-guk and Yook Sungjae really look similar? Hahaha!

[heyljc]

An official student trainee at the HR Department of Philippine Coconut Authority!

[heyljc]

After seven long agonizing months,

I purposely veered away from my social networking accounts for the sole purpose of rediscovering myself outside the internet. I spent more time with my mom. I went out and made friends. I made an evaluation of what I want and vice versa. I can’t say I’ve changed but definitely I’ve found things to keep me busy.

[heyljc]

Please, pakipansin naman ako.

[heyljc]

Confused.

It's past one and here I am, lost in a world full of questions as well as answers. Then again, I wonder what makes a decision right or wrong? What's the criteria for judging? Anyone? 

[heyljc]

[heyljc]

To you,

          I was given a project – that is to tell a story from the stories told. Sounds confusing, eh?

 I, so with my classmates, was told to take photographs of historic sites here in the Philippines. That is why you have this thing in your hands.

So, going back, the moment I heard the instruction, I instinctively thought about Intramuros.

I don’t know what came into me. Perhaps because I have always wanted to go and see Intramuros and I see this as a great opportunity to fulfill that lifelong wish. It may also be because this whole project thing would be much easier if done in Intramuros, isn’t it? Nevertheless, I did go to Intramuros with my cousin.

I was lucky enough to come across a pedicab driver while asking for directions going to San Agustin church. He offered a tour for a reasonable price and so we agreed. While on our way to our first destination, he told us that we won’t regret this chance of a lifetime. And he wasn’t wrong.

   Apart from the picturesque view Intramuros has to offer, what fascinated me was the tales enclosed in that walled city. The fence I’ve touched has been a silent witness to a thousand of meetings. The lamppost I’ve seen has lit the way of those who walked astray. The ground I stood in that time has been a burial ground for the victims of war. The city itself has seen the changes incurred through time. It has always been there, may it be on happiness or grief.

        For now, I present to you my appreciation of the past. Please revel in as much as I did while on tour. Muchos gracias! 

P.S: Photos are up next.                                                                 

[heyljc]

Choices & Chances.

Just this semester, I shifted from Communication Arts to Psychology. 

I didn't get the chance to weigh my options because I have no choice in the first place Not that I am complaining. It's just that it feels so wrong. 

[heyljc]

Misunderstood.

I am not much of a talker in person. I won't speak to you unless you ask me to. Some say that I'm a good communicator blessed with a voice. Honestly, I am often misunderstood as a snobbish wannabe. I dunno. I've always been branded as that.

[heyljc]

Discriminatory acts.

I was out the whole day searching for a job. I went to a trusted company for referral yet, I was told they cannot forward my application form because of my age. Yes, I may be a sixteen year old lass but my emotional, physical and mental capacity is that of a 30 year old woman. I am not saying this to brag or anything like that. I want equity. There's more than what meets the eye. 

[heyljc]

News love...

I am not really sure whether I'd still continue my studies at FEU. I still have qualms. I'm not sure if we have the enough resources. Any, among others, if I ever change school, I'm gonna miss the most my News family. 

(L-R: Kuya Buts, Ate Noreen, Jaja, Kuya Juju, Ate Janice, Ate Jess, then the awkward me, MG, Ema and Mike)

Writing for the official student publication is never easy. Being a news writer is never easy. We have to meet with people whose positions are miles away from what we are. We have to swallow the slightest bit of shyness and awkwardness. We have to appear confident and act and think ethically as well. We have to be keen enough to filter the facts we receive. We should know how to weigh things. We should be polite at all times. We should know when to ask and when to answer. There are many do's and don'ts. We have to be in-control of the situation.

Amidst all these, we managed to balance the struggles and fun. Every situation we've been into was never hard as long as we back each other. We developed a strong sense of connection and affection. 

God help us through this. I would love to work with each of them next semester. Help me find a job soon to support my studies. All for the best. All for my second family. 

[heyljc]

It's been ten days...

I never thought I'd lose you this way. I was able to cook chicken macaroni soup for you on the eve of April 9. I never thought that'd be the last time I would cook for you. If I had known, I could have made it extra special. 

Mamang, I still can't get over the fact that I won't see the color of your eyes anymore. I won't be able to touch your face, hold your hand, hug you, kiss you, feed you. I won't be able to hear your voice, see you smile and laugh for the longest time possible. At exactly 12:30 in the morning of April 10th [Mom's birthday too], you bid us farewell.

You had difficulties on breathing at 10 pm-ish of April 9.I was so scared but tried to keep my composure because if I won't, Mom would have her wits scared the hell of out her. We won't be able to give you proper treatments.

At 11 PM, your breathing stabilized. Your blood pressure went fine. We were relieved, of course. I told you we'd go straight to the hospital once the sun rises. It just so happened that when the sun rose, we were heading to the mortuary. What an irony of life.

My movements were all mechanical at that time. I was moving for the sake of moving. I was shocked. Too shocked. You were gone with a blink of an eye.

Mang, are you up there? How is there? Have you seen God? If you did, what did He tell you? Have you seen our relatives who went in first? Mang, are you okay there?

Mang, please help me and mom over here. We need you but we can't be selfish. You wanted to take your rest after 92 years. Please watch over us. Please tell God we're sorry for all our wrongs.

I love you Mang. I love you. I love you. For me, you're the best grandmother. No one can ever beat that.

[heyljc]

Rant.

Maybe the good thing is that I know my strengths and weaknesses - my limits. I won't say any excuse for my grades. It's my fault and I shouldn't be ashamed of it. Mistakes are to be acknowledged for us to learn. I'm not going to say that I will study harder. I will study smarter and better