[hibiscuts]

wowowowow so excited to relapse tonight I've been waiting for this feeling

[hibiscuts]

they itch so badly oh my fucking god

[hibiscuts]

self medicating. hope this doesn't go wrong

[hibiscuts]

hot chocolate or vodka 🤔

[hibiscuts]

it's a good thing I'll never have sex and even if I wanted to, my thighs are not very appealing to look at

[hibiscuts]

im going to be so alone. im going to be so terribly alone.

[hibiscuts]

I would love to drink tonight but I have work and I should not drink while I have work

[hibiscuts]

been finding a lot of comfort in imagining a life after my suicide. feels selfish

[hibiscuts]

im feeling a kind of relaxed and at peace that's not good

[hibiscuts]

holy fuck it's been a while since I cut on thinner skin they're so painful. both in terms of healing and actually opening them

[hibiscuts]

i think I could reach beans if I tried hard enough but also that recovery sounds awful and really long

[hibiscuts]

i love cancelling plans and actively making myself feel worse

[puppy-cvts28]

my favorite thing to do when people ask about my arms or legs with the bullshit of “what happened?” I just deadass go “I used to cut myself.” And then they get all shocked like bruzzah they are straight vertical lines clustered together. I’m gonna hold your hand when I say this..

[hibiscuts]

im so serious, I really don't understand what's so wrong with cutting myself. I'm not hurting anyone but myself. it makes me feel better, happier even. my body repairs itself each time. it's not like using drugs or something. I think it shows that I'm still here despite everything. it makes me feel like I'm not going insane about my mental health. like yes, this does affect me. here's the proof. I literally hurt myself.

maybe that's a selfish way of looking at it, but it stops me from trying to kill myself so I think it's not all that bad. plus the blood is a very nice color. it's really nice to see. then I get to take care of myself afterward. easy and done.

[hibiscuts]

i like looking at my scars. there are so many little ones. I wonder how many I have

[hibiscuts]

I wish this was easier

[hibiscuts]

ohh my fucking god you cannot be serious rn