yoko

17 / asexual / intp / she 

[hidoiyoyoyo]

what do you want me for?

[hidoiyoyoyo]

im dirty and its all your fault

[hidoiyoyoyo]

i want to rip myself apart

[avoidnat]

how do i delete myself and everything ive ever said from other ppl’s minds

[hhhjjfkckcclsksjdkdlcl-deactiva]

stupid idiot bastard disorder (self diagnosed)

[hidoiyoyoyo]

January 14, 2022 - [12:47 PM]

I haven’t been journaling everyday but I think that’s okay. Let’s seee, what can I talk about? Well people have been doing construction at my house for quite a while, which is actually good because I can use it as an excuse to keep my mic off during online school. Plus the attic will finally be finished. 

I’m also considering getting a sugar mommy, unironically. I think I could make it work. I’ve been a bit down because my instagram account is shadowbanned, but I’ll be back posting so I’m happy. Hmmmm well that’s a lot. 

OH! i took a test and it said that the characters my personality is most similar to are gollum, bella swan, and bellatrix lestrange. I can’t say I’m mad about that honestly. 

[hidoiyoyoyo]

January 11, 2022 - [1:15 PM]

just thinking about the fact that no matter how many times i explain it, people will always pity/look down on me for doing things by myself. i’ve made myself into an outcast, so everyone will always view me as such.

[hidoiyoyoyo]

there’s no way this is real. i’ve been waiting for this adaptation to come out for so so long... i might actually cry :,( LOOK AT THEMMMM

[hidoiyoyoyo]

January 9, 2022 [10:09 PM]

watched two of the best episodes of anime ever made today. this is monumental. i’m going to sleep happy. how often does that happen ??

i’m excited for this week, to see my friends and have things return to how they were. i can feel the world shifting in my favor.

[hidoiyoyoyo]

January 8, 2022 - [9:45 PM]

seeing my friends for the first time in three weeks tomorrow. i’m actually happy. there’s a lot i need to talk to them about. but i look terrible. i haven’t been to the gym in weeks while they have. i feel bad about myself, but i will go and see them. this feels like a last chance. 

[hidoiyoyoyo]

omoide emanon (2008) - kenji tsuruta

i wish i could make people forget I ever existed. I’m sick of hurting others, but i’m too weak to make nonexistence a reality. 

[hidoiyoyoyo]

January 7, 2022 - [10:38 PM]

this is so bad. this is so so bad. why does it feel like things are going back to the way they were before. am i about to make the same mistake? that’s all i do isn’t it? i don’t know when to quit. 

let it stop. please let it get better. please please please.

i can’t bear to hurt another good person. not again. 

[666-misery]

[hypnus]

maybe if i sigh deep enough i’ll die

[hidoiyoyoyo]

"Thus with a kiss I die"

William Shakespeare- Romeo and Juliet

[hidoiyoyoyo]

January 6, 2022 - [11:59 PM]

i don’t hate school because it’s hard. i hate it because i can’t get any work done despite how easy it is. 

doing my homework would take me an hour max, MAYBE an hour and a half. why can’t i finish? why can’t I even start? 

school makes me feel bad about myself, and because i feel bad about myself i don’t participate in school. i’m trapped and nobody cares. 

[hidoiyoyoyo]

brb, currently on my way to roT IN THE LITERAL PITS OF HELL